Ashamed of my self.

PRMinx

LOVE IT!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

:flowerforyou: :drinker: :flowerforyou: :drinker: :flowerforyou: :drinker:

lessismoreohio

You need to believe in yourself. You're stronger than you know. Best of luck to you.

deaddawn

This is more than a physical problem. It's a mental problem. Your relationship with food and yourself is not healthy. I am not a mental health professional but I am a person who struggles with my relationship with food.

Before the food passes your lips ask yourself these questions-

Why am I eating this?
Bad answers-
Because the kids left it on their plates and I don't want to waste it.
I'm not sure.
I'm not hungry, I just ate a meal's worth of calories an hour ago, but it's time to feed the family.
Because my kids like it and I want them to be happy.
I'm bored.
I'm upset about ______ but this ________ will make me feel better for a few minutes.
Good answer-
My body needs fuel and this is a healthy way to fuel it.
I'm trapped in a snowstorm in my car, it's been four hours and these three M&M's left over from Halloween and this bag of goldfish from I'm not sure when are the only food I could find in the car ;-)

Am I physically hungry?
Bad answers-
No, but I really like those.
I'm not sure.
Good Answer-
Yes I am physically hungry.

Are you sure you are hungry and not just thirsty?
Bad answer-
No.
I'm not sure.
Good Answer-
I drank a glass of water/decaf tea/ or something similar so I'm pretty sure I'm actually hungry.

Once you get these questions under control you can start asking yourself questions about portions and the specific contents of what you are eating.

Finally I would strongly suggest that you see a Bariatric Specialist. Most people think of the one's that do surgery only. That is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a doctor who is qualified to treat all aspects of your disease- Obesity. Stay away from the quick fix clinics too. Those places are not for you either. Find a real Bariatrics Specialist that does it all and has a support staff of Dieticians and Councilors.

I hope this helps. If you want to add me as a myfitnesspal buddy I'll accept. I do tend to drop people who are inactive for several months because it's depressing for me to see my friends page all filled up with red.

LindyLou44

I love when someone said just like when you are on an airplane, you have to put the oxygen on yourself to help yourself before you can help your child. Put yourself first and make this a priority. Keep your eye on the prize and be mindful of what you are eating. We are in the season of overeating and it is a tough one. Try and stay focussed and take baby steps. Be kind to yourself. Commit to drinking lots of water and keep recording your food on MFP. You are worth it and your child is worth it to have a mom there that loves herself!
Good luck to you!

Cakelady11

Greater is the power within you than the power that is within the world. You can and will do it!

Cakelady11

:flowerforyou:

Here is what help me and I hope it helps you. I first had to fall in love with me again. I had to realize and accept the fact that I deserve to be happy and healthy. Sounds like you have a great support system in your husband and super motivation in the fact that you have precious angels to be around for. I believe in you and know that you can do anything that you put your mind and heart into. How can I say that about someone I don't know..I can because I am you without the support of a husband. My daughter and neice are my cheerleaders and support. 76 pounds later now I have joined them. I will be praying for your success.!! One day at a time. If this day does not yield all the committment you desired it to have... try a little harder the next day. You can add me as a friend if you like.

KCharron20

2 years ago I was where you are now. I weighed 333 pounds and hated it. Tried to lose it and never stuck to it. My husband decided he wanted to join a gym and then decided he wanted to try a trainer. I have to tell you, it was hard. But if your husband doesn't mind getting you a trainer. My advice would be to do it. It worked for me. I did it for 1 year and lost 80 pounds. I found that I really began to look forward to those appointments. You will be very suprised at what you can do! Make sure that you get a good one, though. One who is going to school to work with athletes would be your best bet, imo. I worked with a few different ones and they were always the best. They pay the most attention to form, so you have less injuries and if you have any issues, they know how to help you strengthen those areas. I have to tell you. It is hard work, but you will be amazed what you learn about yourself! Having a trainer made me feel like I had someone outside of my family that I was answerable too and for me that made all the difference. Don't give up on yourself. You can do it!

Marcia315

Fast forward 23 years. What would you do if your child was telling you this?

Give up the soda and start walking. Baby steps. You're worth it.

MyChocolateDiet

I think that's why we're all here...to improve ourselves.

kmnordby

See if your husband and kids will do it with you. I've found that having people around who know what you are trying to do, keeps you accountable. Get the family involved. My husband & I packed on a bunch of weight while we were dating and we decided together to get back to healthy. So, we go jogging on the weekends and take turns cooking low cal meals. We also aren't allowed to bring junk food into the house. He got me using my fitness pal which is the only thing that's helped me over the past 10 yrs.
Get everyone on a health kick -- its a lifestyle change. If you backslide, don't beat yourself up, just start out right the next day. Take it day by day and be patient. You'll feel like giving up and chucking the scale and then all of a sudden you'll drop that first 10lbs and that'll keep you going. It took me like 6months to figure out what combo of food and exercise worked for me. When I did, fat just melted off. Be patient and you'll be fine My weakness is snyders honey mustard pretzel bits. I have to avoid the chip isle because of them. don't worry, everyone has their thing they need to avoid.

missomgitsica

being fat is hard... losing weight is hard... choose your hard...

if you put all the energy you're expending being mad at yourself into making positive changes, just think how far you'd get....

Yep, this.

The bottom line, really, is that you just have to start. Start small. Start with just working on your diet, meet your calorie goal for a month, and then start light workouts. Start with adding water to your diet and try to drink more water than soda daily, then start cutting soda gradually. Don't cold turkey eliminate anything from your diet, eat what you want as long as it falls into your calorie goal. Give yourself cheat days. Give yourself rewards--not like food rewards, but something like, if I lose 10 pounds I can get a new pair of shoes or whatever.

It is hard. It sucks. I've made a lot of false starts, lost a few pounds, and then just given up, only to start again and do the same thing. But it's either suck it up and do it or stay the way you are forever.

TheRealParisLove

I think you may be struggling with long term and not focusing enough on the short term. Do you think you could set your first goal at 299? Is that a reasonable amount to aim for, then you will be back below the life ending number?

It is the little goals that make the long term happen for most people. For me personally, I have to go day by day. I make a meal plan and set my goal to just stick to the plan today. Tomorrow I will reassess my goals, but today I am going to stick to the plan.

I do the same with exercise. At first I was aiming at very small amounts of exercise. One push up, a five minute walk, small chunks of exercise like that would get me going. Frequently, my 5 minute walk would turn into a 30 minute walk or longer.

MFP makes it fun to log exercise. Every calorie you burn is that much closer to a pound of fat lost. Even 5 minutes is better than no minutes.

Just make some small, attainable goals. Something like keeping under your recommended calories for just today would be a good start. If you go over, don't beat yourself up. That doesn't do any good. Giver yourself a hug and let yourself know it is okay and that you tried. Tomorrow you have another chance to try again. :flowerforyou:

mimieon

There may be (probably) a psychological reason for you to hang on to this weight. Think about it for a while, and maybe seek counseling to sort it out.

RachWood88

I like this post. Choose what you focus your hard on!! I LOVE IT!

aetzkorn14

I have to agree with just sucking it up and doing it. beating yourself up is just going to lead to emotional eating which we all know makes it worse. My heaviest was 240ish and I CAN NOT believe I got to that point. It wasn't until I dropped 40lbs that I realized how bad I really had gotten. a year later it is still hard, the workouts hurt and the diet sucks, but I am more motivated with each change I see. The stronger you get, the easier it gets to push yourself. Let your husband help you if you believe he can.....if you think your relationship will interfere with how serious you take your workout then get a trainer. I motivate my bf all I can but I cant do the work for him, we all have to put in the time on our own. We go to the same gym but never workout together because our goals are different. I have grown to love lifting weights. I put my music on, get in a zone, and go to town. I also leave with a game plan of what I want to do and what I want to accomplish. Also, I find group classes to work wonders for me because I am extremely competitive. Give it a shot, and don't give yourself a time limit on how much you want to loose. Take it one day, one meal, and one workout at a time. Good Luck!!

fatfudgery

Ugh, I feel your pain... I had to hit bottom pretty hard before I was finally able to change. I was 546lbs when that happened.

The good news is that it sounds like you're either hitting bottom right now, or are pretty close, so... nowhere to go from here but up!

Best of luck to you. :flowerforyou:

shanikashavon

Don't hate yourself. Sometimes we let it get away from us.

I'm in the same boat, saw the scale hit 300 (during Thanksgiving vacation, big surprise) and was shamed into doing something about it. Its only been 8 days, and all I can do is try.

All you can do is take one day at a time. You're going to want to give up, I want to give up everyday, but don't. It's not a huge victory for anyone else to go to the gym or take a run, but for me it is. I live off of those little victories. Make at least one little victory everyday.

shrinkingturtle

You cannot hate yourself or be ashamed. This is the time for STRONG faith in yourself and DETERMINATION. I had my turning day too, it was when my Dr. told me I was in Kidney Failure because my body and therefore blood volume was too much for my kidneys and overworking them. I was in stage 3 and it wasn't looking good. I made a decision right then to change, and I did. Please do not think this is an eating thing, or a food thing, or a self image thing. This is straight up a brain and mental health thing. You have got to get your brain and your mental state straight before the rest can come into alignment. If you have the mental determination to accomplish this and turn your back on the bad stuff you can do it. I had to realize in my mind that I would die if I didn't do this, I would die if I eat that, I will die if I don't exercise. I was going to die. I had to make that sit in my mind and then I could face and focus on the body. Some people cannot eat certain things I know I can't. I do not eat, potatoes, pasta, rice or bread. Ever. No sugar or caffeine. But you know what I am thin now, life is wonderful and fun and I enjoy it all. Simply because I conceded to the fact and was able to say 'I can't eat that or I will die" and mean it and follow it. You can do it too.
Oh yes, I was a size 18 and only 5 ft tall.
I am now a size 2 to a 6 depending on brand. I love it. You can get here too.

briana12077

I have the same problem and I go back to feeling this way like... once a week but I just can't quit even if I mess up nope not this time. I hope these feelings start to come less and less. I feel better after only losing about 10 ibs and it is all the motivation I need to know every single 10 ibs will feel just as great. Just stop beating yourself up it does nothing. You are probably scared of failing. You're scared of how long it will take. Don't be scared anymore. Just jump on the wagon and go go go and don't ever stop. Sit down and make a decision. Don't plan, don't worry so much about every detail. Just make a decision thats all it takes.

One thing that helped me was making a goal chart. I like to have goals. So I made a little calendar on a notecard and wrote my goals on top of it. I wrote 4 goals, 1 was to drink 8 cups of water a day, 1 was to eat under my calorie goals, 1 was to floss my teeth every day, and 1 was to be greatful for something. You can do this any way you want. I found for me, adding at least one mental goal and one goal unrelated to weight loss helped me feel more rounded and not so worried about my weight. I put a check mark on all the days I completed these things. You can use any method you want. Keep it private if you want. I know it seems silly but having goals really helps you mentally want to keep going. But your goal should not be something you can't measure or something you can't do. You can't make the scale go down so don't make your goal to lose ten ibs. You can control how much food you eat, and you can control if you exercise so make your goals something attainable.

Good luck to you

debinsky

We all beat ourselves up for one thing or another...for one it may be food....for another it may be for not studying harder. For me it was drinking beer and being on the verge of being an alcoholic. I tried so many things and no matter what people said or suggested, it didn't work. I tried only drinking on weekends, not having beer at home, etc...Then I would go right back to drinking a lot and would beat myself up.

I know it is not completely the same but a recovering alcoholic told me it will happen when I am ready. It gave me the focus that it WOULD happen even if not immediately.

By taking the focus off of thinking "I will NEVER stop drinking", it turned my thinking into "OK...it WILL happen and I shouldn't beat myself up if it doesn't happen today."

It took 6 months for that thinking to start action, but it did. I know not everything works for everyone but I do know it's hard to achieve anything in life when you feel down and beat up. I am praying for strength for you and for a clear, focused mind!!!! :-)