Self Esteem and Personal Image

cmcollins001

I used to get really down on myself. I hated myself and thought everyone around me did as well. All of my "friends" had girlfriends and dates in high school, I never did...I even went as the third wheel for my senor prom, because I never asked anyone out for fear of rejection.

Even later in life, I was alone. I was a loser. When I finally found someone to marry me, it was a very short engagement (we met and married within 5 weeks) and I just "knew" she was the one. Well, she was also "the one" to other guys as well while we were married, and to 3 or 4 other husbands after we divorced. Just more stuff to stack on my throne of being King of the Lonely Loser.

Then, one day, I took a good, hard, honest look at myself. I was sitting out somewhere, alone, as I usually do, talking to myself, examining everywhere that I had went wrong in my life and marriage, then it dawned on me...I said to myself:



I was always afraid of the what-ifs. I was alone because I chose to be alone, not because I would never find anyone. I wasn't even really looking. I would always gravitate toward women that were already in relationships, usually with a friend of mine, and fall secretly in love with them...why? Because it was safer to admire from afar than it was to have them tell me I was "just a friend." I needed to think more highly of myself if I wanted others to think more highly of me. This didn't mean I needed to lose weight to fit in, it means that if I didn't want to lose weight, I just needed to accept that I was who I was, and people either needed to deal with it or I didn't need them. I didn't need them.

I don't care. Three words that made me change my attitude.

You don't like me? I don't care
You think I need to be a certain way to please you? I don't care
You don't want to go out with me? I don't care

Realizing that I make my own path in life and that I didn't need to follow anyone else's path, nor did I care about the path others wanted me to follow, made all the difference.

I am awesome. I have awesome friends, both in real life and on here, and in other forms of social media. I chose them and they chose me. Why? Because we are awesome.

It took a while for me to realize the amount of awesome I am. Am I being narcissistic? Sure..why not? I like me. Even if nobody else does, I. Like. Me.

The kicker is, I have more friends, better friends, more real friends, now that I like me. I'm happier, I have less stress, I have so much less drama in my life because I like me. I can't expect others to like me if I don't like myself. I can't expect others to respect me if I don't respect myself. I'm the only one who has to deal with who I am on the inside, and if I don't like who I am on the inside, it will show on the outside.

I have raised a good son, mostly on my own, because I like me. He's awesome too, by the way...just ask him, he's happy to share how awesome he is.

TL;DR =

parys1

This is timely.

And YES, we are awesome!

:flowerforyou:

ILoveTheBrowns

this should be in a magazine or somethin....well written piece.

W0rthless_Her0

This!

Jestinia

You don't like me? I don't care
You think I need to be a certain way to please you? I don't care
You don't want to go out with me? I don't care

This has been my attitude now for several years. I have to say it's made me even less popular than I was before, but I really don't care. Most people are just out to use each other for something anyway. And therefore I can live without most people. And I do.

Factory_Reset

You are awesome, one of the many reasons I like you

:flowerforyou:

MacInCali

You couldn't have written this at a better time ... thank you for being the awesome person you are!!!

CompressedCarbon

:flowerforyou: Awesome.

Do you think that it takes time to throw off the lies you absorb from others to realize that you are awesome? I ask because for a long while (and I see it in one of my daughters as well), I believed the crap others foisted on me and it wasn't until I quit caring what others thought about me, that I began to appreciate what makes me "me".

sfbaumgarten

Good for you! More people should learn to love themselves this way!

cajun_qt

love.

_KitKat_

Crescent_Meadows

Thanks for this post! It made me smile and was a reminder to believe in my own beauty I love all the AWESOME pictures you guys are posting!

Cranquistador

Lennonluv2

Wow, good for you! I hope to someday get there myself. Thanks for posting this, it gives me hope.

ssaraj43

Great post!! In for the AWESOME!!

HiKaren

I know you are.... But what am I?

janicebinva

Great post.

RivenV

Sounds like you've really come a long way! Congratulations are in order.

I don't have any of that, so here's a gif of an otter attacking it's natural foe: a walrus

red_road

true dat

WallyH4EverVersion

Absolutely love your post !! You are awesome!!

Keep_The_Laughter

This thread is awsome, you are awsome and everyone participating in this positivity is awsome :drinker:

ItsCasey

I feel like I could've written this about myself. I am very, very introverted. I used to think something was wrong with me. Now, I understand that it's just who I am and that there are a LOT of similar people in the world.

When I was fat, I spent way too much time trying to match the labels other people gave me. I was the smart one or the quiet one or the chubby one or some other "type" that seemed to make the people around me more comfortable with themselves. And I tried really hard to live up to that so that I didn't have to be alone.

And then a funny thing happened about a year and a half after I started losing weight (and by that time, I had lost about 100 lbs). I suddenly became very sure of who I was and what I wanted from life. For the first time in my life, I had goals that did not revolve around school or work. My beliefs and values were clearer than ever. I felt this unbelievable sense of freedom, and I realized that it was because I no longer cared what other people wanted me to be or what they already thought I was. I don't need anyone else's approval, whether it's about my looks or my career or my training or anything else. You said it perfectly: I don't care. If I spend the rest of my life alone, I don't care because I feel really, really, fantastically lucky to be me. It is the most liberating feeling ever.

Congrats to you on a level of self-awareness that a lot of people fake really well but never actually achieve.

PikaKnight

tageekly

Pretty darn awesome.

usmcmp

_SABOTEUR_

That was awesome. Just like you.

PetulantOne

Rayman79

Saying s**t like that is why people will never like you. People like a brave facade which thinly masks a deep cavern of insecurity - it creates the need for constant support and validation!







Just kidding.

delicious_cocktail

Wow that all sounded extremely familiar to me.

High five bubba.

AcidWords21

That's awesome man! Two thumbs up

Otterluv