What causes failure?

Topsking2010

Let me offer a different view. Most of us dream about winning $636M in the lottery, getting more money to do less, or that our lives were easier in some way. Without challenges, obstacles, troubles, FAILURES, mistakes, problems, dilemmas, and even catastrophes, our lives would be less not more. To achieve anything worthwhile in life, there has to be struggle. A challenge is not about what it is you want to achieve, but more about the struggle that it will require surmounting the obstacles to achieving it. A Challenge is what you can use to test the limits of your physical skills and mental willpower. The results of a challenge will tell you what you are made of.

My advice is to get most excited when things get most difficult. Welcome the challenge. People who excel get fired up for the greatest obstacles because he or she knows they are his or her opportunity to find greatness. That person comes upon a roadblock does not see a stopping point, but an obstacle that can, must, and will be overcome to reach a higher level.




Well said!!!

My point is that failure is not a bad thing; it is simply a challenge that you must overcome. Once it is put in the right perspective it can be used for learning and becoming mentally and physically stronger. SO, who cares what causes failure; it is how you respond to that failure that is important.

thatjosiegirl

I have failed over and over and over, but somehow I manage to get back up and just keep trying.

For me failure was due to several different reasons:

1. Life got in the way, and I let it get in the way. I would miss workouts due to some planned or unplanned event, people would ask me to go out to eat with them and I would do it. I started dating someone, so my life as a single (lots of time on my hands to go workout) person died. Suddenly I was missing workouts because this person wanted to spend time with me and I didn't want to tell them "No, I have to go workout tonight".

2. I kept telling myself that I would start again "tomorrow".

3. My lifestyle was not feasible long term. I needed to learn how to eat and how to schedule workouts, I needed a lifestyle overhaul and not just a diet.

A_Fit_Mom

I think people fail because they go from one extreme to the next. They go on an extreme diet and eat at very low calorie goals...then they think "hey, I'm done" and go back to eating like they did before. Their body then holds onto everything, since it was starving before.

redheaddee

All or nothing thinking. A bad day somehow undoes a year worth of hard work. Success happens when you change your mindset. Realize this is a lifelong fight. And you are going to have good days and you are going to have *kitten* days. And you pick yourself and keep going, because ultimately failure is not an option.

teachmama79

I think those posts you're referring to are mostly people that never lost all the weight in the first place. A lot of people come here with the mindset that it's a diet or plan. No, counting calories and eating food is a forever thing! People want to lose weight as fast as possible and lose big numbers every week, and they get disappointed when they don't.

People also have the mindset that a day over your calorie limit = failing. There are going to be those days. Everyone has them. It doesn't mean you are completely derailed.

This is EXACTLY why I am starting over again! The mindset that it is a diet, plan, makes you think that it is just temporary. That when you get to your goal, you're finished. In reality, you're just beginning!

It HAS to be a life style change. Slow and steady truly wins the race!! When you have a bad day, brush it off, move forward!

jessiew0

I have a bit of an issue just accepting that I ate bad one day and moving on. I dwell on it and think "well what's one more day gonna matter " then here I am months later and gained about 40 lbs left of the 90 I lost

rainbowbow

I am starting over again, sadly. Luckily i have a vastly different body composition to when i started though!


I have been on mfp for 3 YEARS! I went from 136 to 112 and maintained around 16-17% body fat for over 2 1/2 years.

Sadly, when i was laid off in August I was using a trainer 3 x a week (i was training for my first figure competition) and doing Krav Maga (martial arts) 2x a week. I was active, i was eating well, it wasn't until i lost my job that i fell into a deep depression. I felt like i had worked my *kitten* off for no reason... look where i was now! Unemployed! Think of all the money and time i had spent on fitness instead of bills or making more money or investing in my career.... These thoughts plagued me daily.

Funny enough I was rehired 2 months later at the same employer. I went to work out 1 time after being out of it for a month (and up 8 pounds)... and DUN DUN DUN I injured my shoulder. This led to MRIs, numerous orthopedic visits, physical therapy, anti inflammatory gels, and an order to "DO NOT put pressure on your shoulder." No barbell squats, no bench, no lifting anything with my arms without subluxation or dislocation, etc.

Whats the freaking point? I questioned. Shouldnt i focus on keeping this job?

Well here i am officially 4 months without tracking and 4 months without lifting and I am back at 132 just four pounds under my initial weight from three years ago. I feel like i've failed... sure... but why would i call it failure? It's not like i've given up completely. I have significantly more muscle mass than i did before. I have an excess of knowledge regarding fitness and nutrition. It's my opinion that we can never look at a short period of time and consider ourselves "failures". After all, this is something we have to carry on for life... and this past four months doesn't define me!


Also, just for reference... I was maintaining my weight and eating around 1700-1800 (on workout days). When i started gaining i was consuming 2100-2200 with no working out. And to think something like a few extra hundred calories and 4 months could be hell!

lizziebeth1028

Because some people 'diet', lose weight and then return to those same bad eating habits and gain it back. It has to become a Lifestyle, not a diet. That's why fad diets and restrictive diets don't work well. They don't teach you how you should be eating for everyday life. They do nothing to improve your relationship with food. The people that are most successful make this a lifestyle - healthy foods, treats in moderation and exercise.

MindSetBrenda

Stress #1, I think anyway is one of the problems. Boredom #2 especially if your at home all the time. And just giving up, because you lost a few pounds then it stays the same and your not loosing anymore. This is when you make sure you drink Plenty of Water, and stay completely away fro Sugar. Get your sweets from an apple, peach, pear, berries, etc. I know I lost 25 pounds and got stressed and started eating for comfort and gained it all back. Well Not this time, I will control what I eat and not let food control me. Lets be friends and encourage each other.
Brenda

Hearts_2015

I think a lot of people fail because they think they are done. I used to think this way. Diet, lose weight, go back to not paying attention. Now I know I will need to weigh at least weekly and be ready to take action if I am over my maximum number. I never want to diet again.

well said

I am starting over again, sadly. Luckily i have a vastly different body composition to when i started though!


I have been on mfp for 3 YEARS! I went from 136 to 112 and maintained around 16-17% body fat for over 2 1/2 years.

Sadly, when i was laid off in August I was using a trainer 3 x a week (i was training for my first figure competition) and doing Krav Maga (martial arts) 2x a week. I was active, i was eating well, it wasn't until i lost my job that i fell into a deep depression. I felt like i had worked my *kitten* off for no reason... look where i was now! Unemployed! Think of all the money and time i had spent on fitness instead of bills or making more money or investing in my career.... These thoughts plagued me daily.

Funny enough I was rehired 2 months later at the same employer. I went to work out 1 time after being out of it for a month (and up 8 pounds)... and DUN DUN DUN I injured my shoulder. This led to MRIs, numerous orthopedic visits, physical therapy, anti inflammatory gels, and an order to "DO NOT put pressure on your shoulder." No barbell squats, no bench, no lifting anything with my arms without subluxation or dislocation, etc.

Whats the freaking point? I questioned. Shouldnt i focus on keeping this job?

Well here i am officially 4 months without tracking and 4 months without lifting and I am back at 132 just four pounds under my initial weight from three years ago. I feel like i've failed... sure... but why would i call it failure? It's not like i've given up completely. I have significantly more muscle mass than i did before. I have an excess of knowledge regarding fitness and nutrition. It's my opinion that we can never look at a short period of time and consider ourselves "failures". After all, this is something we have to carry on for life... and this past four months doesn't define me!


Also, just for reference... I was maintaining my weight and eating around 1700-1800 (on workout days). When i started gaining i was consuming 2100-2200 with no working out. And to think something like a few extra hundred calories and 4 months could be hell!

you haven't failed! Here you are:drinker:

bubaluboo

For me, losing weight has been exciting. Yes it's been difficult and when I had plateaus, it wasn't so much fun but there was progress most of the time. Now I'm in maintenance, I realise that if I don't keep counting (at least for the foreseeable future), I will put the weight back on. In contrast to dieting, maintenance is boring. The extra calories you can eat don't give you permission to stuff your face (unless you exercise more than me). There's no ticker to mark your success and no congratulations. Nobody notices your maintenance success and you don't get the excuse to keep buying new clothes. I like goals but maintenance doesn't feel like a goal. However, since MFP, I've learned enough that I hope will keep me on the straight and narrow. Before MFP, I'd have dieted to my 'ideal' or as close as my determination would take me and then stop dieting or paying attention. Firstly, I'd eat less than pre-diet but slowly and without realising it, portion sizes would go up until I'm eating just like before.

It was nice to feel comfortable in my clothes this Christmas. I think that one motivation for me will be to look forward to the next 'occasion' like say my birthday and work on staying trim for that and then move on to the next occasion. That way I still have goals...I like goals!

msunat97

Lack of personal discipline. I know I should eat better, but I don't have the personal discipline to do so day in & day out for a long time. I'll then get bored with MFP & stop logging. I maintain a pretty consistent weight so I'm lucky. however, I know I must do better in order to get better. It's up to me to be disciplined.

likitisplit

For me, losing weight has been exciting. Yes it's been difficult and when I had plateaus, it wasn't so much fun but there was progress most of the time. Now I'm in maintenance, I realise that if I don't keep counting (at least for the foreseeable future), I will put the weight back on. In contrast to dieting, maintenance is boring. The extra calories you can eat don't give you permission to stuff your face (unless you exercise more than me). There's no ticker to mark your success and no congratulations. Nobody notices your maintenance success and you don't get the excuse to keep buying new clothes. I like goals but maintenance doesn't feel like a goal. However, since MFP, I've learned enough that I hope will keep me on the straight and narrow. Before MFP, I'd have dieted to my 'ideal' or as close as my determination would take me and then stop dieting or paying attention. Firstly, I'd eat less than pre-diet but slowly and without realising it, portion sizes would go up until I'm eating just like before.

It was nice to feel comfortable in my clothes this Christmas. I think that one motivation for me will be to look forward to the next 'occasion' like say my birthday and work on staying trim for that and then move on to the next occasion. That way I still have goals...I like goals!

Yes. And the difference between eating to satiety rather than fullness is like 500 calories a day...and satiety is so boring. Being full feels better.

Amandainyaface

I think sometimes people let themselves enjoy everything just a little too much once they're at the weight they want to stay at. Like, I know a lot of people saying "I don't need to lose more weight, so now I can eat everything in moderation" whilst eating an entire bag of chips and a carton of soda. A lot of people like the idea of everything in moderation(and so do I, I live by that saying), but it's not moderation if you go crazy on only junkfood one day and eat salad the next day. You get where I'm coming from? Moderation throughout the day, not throughout your entire life.

arewethereyet

I have a bit of an issue just accepting that I ate bad one day and moving on. I dwell on it and think "well what's one more day gonna matter " then here I am months later and gained about 40 lbs left of the 90 I lost

I used to do that also. When I logged my food here, the next day was not so much fun to go over the calories again. As I logged the 1st meal of yogurt my brain reset. My 'day before' became just that.

For me, seeing it on paper (computer) did it for me.

MFP has been a lifesaver for me

Unknown

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thesimsisters

Well, that's a good question and I think most of the answers have hit it dead on. It's a lifestyle, not a diet. I lost 100 lbs and reached my goal slowly, started in 2007 and took several years to get there in 2010. I maintained within my 5 lb range I gave myself until early around February this year when I got really sick. I was in so much pain that exercising beyond walking was impossible. And I couldn't even walk like we (Hubby and I did this all together) had been each night most nights after suffering through work each day. I was lucky to do that. I was put on several things for a few months after tons of testing to see if the medications would fix me instead of surgery. This added on some weight as it was hormones etc plus pain meds. I got much worse and in May I had to have open abdominal surgery. The road afterwards was very rough trying to recover. I was off work for two months before being allowed to return. So as you can imagine, there was little exercising etc. I also ate somewhat worse as truthfully, it was all hard to deal with and depressing.

I started back increasing my walking more and more until I was back to my normal amount of exercise. I wasn't well enough for extra cardio until around late October. My belly is let us say, depressing, as any of you who've have been cut all the way across probably know, those muscles are messed up and I wonder if I'll ever be right. If I'll ever lose the even extra "fanny pack" as I call it now

After maintaining so long it's discouraging to have to lose about 20 lbs now to get back to my goal, but I guess it could have been worse. I can normally maintain with exercise and without logging just because we are used to eating healthy now over the years. But to lose, I have to log exactly and follow my calories exact. So after that long novel if you're still reading, my answer is it's not really failure sometimes but just what life throws at you sometimes that can mess you up. I don't think I've failed, to fail would have been to have not got back to my "normal new lifestyle" after everything happened. But I knew what I needed to do, and I have done it as soon as I was able to To me failure is quitting, if you are trying then you are not failing..no matter what the scale says.

arewethereyet

You know how Nike says "JUST DO IT" ?? For me it was just not doing it.

I had lost the 35+ pounds I wanted to. Had the body I liked after going to the gym, lifting weights, was strong (grrrrrrrrrr) walking everyday and even ran a mile. :laugh:

The week I logged my last pound I:
*told my husband I wanted a divorce
*had a stroke/TIA the same day, where they found a hole in my heart
*had heart surgery which took me off work for 4 wks
*Got back to work and the job I loved was eliminated
*Was blessed to be moved to a new job, same pay, but not one that I had wanted and with an expectation that was unreachable
*Went for a minor sx on my neck,an injection only really where they burn a nerve, so that I would be the 100% I wanted to be for my new job.
*This created daily migraine pain and visual disturbance no one could fix. The occipital nerve was over heated and that was 3 yrs ago, it is still not better
*got divorce after nearly 30 yrs
*My daughter moved out and to another city 3 hrs away
*Had severe abdominal pain, had a test and found a bad infection, the antibiotics made me sicker
*They found reflux with burns on my throat I didn't know about
*IBS severe and painful
THEN I found out by accident I have been severely depressed for the past 2 years

BUT............... the question is WHAT CAUSES FAILURE???


I stopped exercising.
I stopped watching what I eat.
I stopped logging my food.
I thought I 'had this'

The bottom line is, excuses. Yes I had reasons, for a day to day might not do it, but EXCUSES as to why I didn't keep going. I DO believe whole heartedly that most of the things to follow would have been much easier to handle, or not there at all, if I had continued to exercise and eat right.

This IS life change. Sounds like just words, but if you change the way you think it will be a life time. Now when I go out to dinner on a date I am not the least bit embarrassed " Grilled chicken/fish dry, steamed veggies, real butter on the side, huge salad with dressing on the side and no croutons. Rolls for my date only please" I have never had a funny look. Actually I think the guys like that I know what I want. Oh and I EAT my food too :laugh:

SO What causes failure? Not doing it.

What causes failure is people not getting on top of the real cause of obesity, which is the maladaptive response a lot of people have when their stomach signals that it is empty. "Naturally" thin people can push that sensation in the background and get on with their lives. For the obese, they have learned to drop everything and start consuming.

It CAN be normalized. Only then will a normal weight be maintained.

Thank you for your comment on my comment, but it really had nothing to do with what I said.

I was not obese, I was not hungry. I had been a "naturally skinny' person prior to my mid 30's.

My entire statement had to do with a year of losing 36 pounds, 2 years of keeping it off, 2.5 years of not exercising and gaining back approx. 15 pounds.

It was slipping back into old habits of NOT exercising and eating the right amount of foods for my body size.

If you look at my ticker I am approx. 132 pounds, not obese.

So to the OP-the answer to your question from ME is - we stop doing it.

4ALongerLife

I have listened to a couple of people who have years of knowledge and experience in seeing others and discuss health behaviors. One of the two persons that I value their input says you will regain when either one or both of the following apply: 1. you stop making yourself a priority (i.e. planning meals, exercising, getting enough sleep, etc) and/or 2. you stop believing you are worth it.

The second person that I value their input says sometimes we all go through "behavioral fatigue" - you get tired of doing what you have been doing to get to where you want. It's ok to get tired. It's ok to take a 1-2 week break. IMO it's not ok to let it continue much longer. Make a list of all of the reasons why you truly want it... and go over that list frequently. Ingrain the reasons in your mind and recall them whenever you feel like you 'can't' push through. Look... I've been fighting all of this for all of my life, successfully the past 2 years. I am now trying to do body building, so believe me, I get the frustration parts of this equation too! This second person also says that there are certain behaviors that support success: tracking your food, protein intake, water intake, exercising, getting enough sleep, social support. Exercise THOSE behaviors to help you in this endeavor.

Remember this goal may be partially about looking better, but overall you need a better root cause. For me - it's about successfully adding more quality to our lives. And what I model to my son. Being lethargic on the couch with a bag of Cheetos isn't the way to add that quality (one time once in a while, ok, but after once in a while, should you continue to do it.. is it depression? then go see someone pls... otherwise, let's get to gettin' y'all!). Best of luck!

Mr_Knight

Being healthy isn't a hobby, it's a job. It's not meant to be "fun", it's something that needs to be done, like cleaning the kitchen or feeding the dog.

If you don't treat it like a job, odds are, you will fail.

IMO, etc.

Jestinia

Being healthy isn't a hobby, it's a job. It's not meant to be "fun", it's something that needs to be done, like cleaning the kitchen or feeding the dog.

If you don't treat it like a job, odds are, you will fail.

IMO, etc.

Couldn't disagree more.

The human body is near perfect.

People just eat too much, encouraged on by advertising and false social cues.

Your body has been corrupted.

The human body has evolved over hundreds of millions of years.

To think you have to "work" to be healthy is counter-intuitive.

Just don't pack in all the crap you see advertised on TV and you will be amazed at how well you will feel.

Over time, you will lose weight as well, without the need for calorie restriction or exercise.

An easy way is to just skip breakfast and get used to having an empty stomach for the rest of the day.


OK- let the naysayers and fitness folks and those who make money off of keeping YOU obese jump in and pillory me!

Not a naysayer, but I will say training your brain to ignore those cues is work. Everything else feels pretty good. Except for the backsliding into a pile of sugary processed evil. Avoiding the 'I can eat just a little bit of that now' syndrome is about the mental work for me, and it is work.

darrensurrey

It's the on-off mentality.

If you change your lifestyle and cut down rather than out, you're more likely to keep your new body.

Jestinia

It's the on-off mentality.

If you change your lifestyle and cut down rather than out, you're more likely to keep your new body.

Unless you're a binge eater triggered by specific foods. And I am. This does not and has never worked for me. If I'd stop forgetting that, I wouldn't have to keep losing the same pounds over and over again.

ingraha

I really appreciate this post and this question. I am somewhere between 2-5 pounds away from my self appointed goal. I also havent quite figured out what that goal is. The weight height chart has a lower weight for my height(116 at 5'1) than I ever weighed since I was thirteen. I dont even know if I can go that low. Irregardless, between the ages of twenty and 59 I went up to 156, slowly gaining every year, never losing no matter what diet or exercise or gym I tried, until I went to MFP. I have not lost 28 pounds since May and have a huge fear of this weight gain at maintenance. I plan to keep the FitBit tracker and log my food for the next decades. As I go into my sixties and seventies, the importance of good nutrition and health multiply in different ways. My mother is 81 and she has just started MFP and walking with a FitBit. Obviously the goal of age is health, not buff bodies. So thanks to everyone on here who is truly committed to a healthy lifestyle. The support is invaluable.

likitisplit

It's the on-off mentality.

If you change your lifestyle and cut down rather than out, you're more likely to keep your new body.

Unless you're a binge eater triggered by specific foods. And I am. This does not and has never worked for me. If I'd stop forgetting that, I wouldn't have to keep losing the same pounds over and over again.

Try losing at a slower rate.

Jestinia

It's the on-off mentality.

If you change your lifestyle and cut down rather than out, you're more likely to keep your new body.

Unless you're a binge eater triggered by specific foods. And I am. This does not and has never worked for me. If I'd stop forgetting that, I wouldn't have to keep losing the same pounds over and over again.

Try losing at a slower rate.

Except I was in maintenance. Note the 'was'. I tried controlling portion size while eating the foods I love from Halloween to Thanksgiving. Didn't work out so well. Fortunately I caught it in time and I'll be back to where I was in a few weeks.

eyecandyrayce

For me it was stress. I gave up my job, gave away all my big furniture, loaded everything into a uhaul and moved 2000+ miles from Seattle to Dallas with no job waiting for me (I did it for my elderly mother who lived alone). I had lost 12 pounds and gained it all back during the move. Then the issue was financial. When you don't have a job, it is far cheaper to buy a box of ramen noodles and hot dogs than it is to eat healthy.

And here I am, back again.

I suggest to those who insist it is pure laziness or lack of will power to consider that life is not always that black and white. Consider that there might be a bigger story behind someone's weight gain.

lthames0810

My theory is that people don't have a good idea what successful maintenance will be like for them. They anticipate being able to have fries with their hamburger and beer with their pizza and desert after dinner. In reality they may only be able to do one of those things and not every day. Combine this expectation with relaxing on their logging and the weight comes back on before they even notice.

I"m worrying about maintenance already, even though I'm still a good ways from my goal weight. I looked at one of those TDEE calcualtors to see what mine would be at my goal weight. It was a lot less than I expected. It was maybe only a donut more per day than what I'm currently eating to slowly lose weight. I'm practically eating at maintenance already!

Those previous posters that pointed out deprivation causing weight relapse were right on target. However it is that you are manageing to losing weight, you need to not deprive yourself too much because the way you are eating now is pretty much the same way you will have to eat at maintenance with only a very few changes.

elfo

Quitting=Failure

SideSteel

This is a good question.

I don't think I have the right answer but to make some observations:

- I don't think it's a singular cause such as "not wanting it bad enough".
- I think it's a combination of factors and I think that the collective list of barriers to weight loss success will differ from person to person.


Some things that come to mind:

- Lacking quality information. Part of this lies in the absolutely horrible dieting industry and them pushing scammy products and misinformation.
- Not putting enough emphasis on dietary adherence and/or lacking the knowledge to maximize adherence through various strategies.
- Biological factors that predispose us to resist weight loss or regain weight (hunger signaling/hormonal responses to dieting/AT)
- Not wanting it bad enough. (I believe this is a legitimate element, it's just not the only element).
- Methodological flaws in diet and/or exercise that stem from the information piece above.
- I do believe the food industry is a variable. To be clear, I am not BLAMING obesity on the food industry. Far from it. However I believe the availability and prevalence of high energy density foods with very low satiety and very appealing flavor certainly doesn't help things.