What causes failure?

Amadbro

whats a failure?

Sabine_Stroehm

I have heard that calling anything a "diet" is going to set you up for failure, you should consider it a lifestyle change. A diet is something that is temporary and will not be sustained for a lifetime. Counting calories is a good way to make sure you lose and when you have lost you can maintain by counting calories as well. I think some people just want to see instant results, but not lbs are going to melt off as fast as you want them to. You have to be patient with yourself.

Changing a word and expecting it to happen is silly.

Just stating what has worked for me since I started. I started this for motivation not for people to try to say what I do is wrong. When you set your mind to something anything is possible. I'd rather tell people I changed my lifestyle than say I am on a diet because a diet is short term, you can't say you are on a diet your whole life. You change things about your eating and sustain that eating habit for life.

umm okay?

Sabine_Stroehm

"has not had a hostess cupcake in 20 years…

I eat when I want, and eat what I want. If I go to mcdonalds and scarf down a big mac and fries, so what? I won't be back for six months when I am on the road again …

Just because you lack self control does not mean that you have been "programmed" to eat when some advertisement says so …it just means you need to work on said self control. how can I walk by a cupcake and not even glance at it, but you have an impulse to eat it? We both watch the same advertisement, yes? Yet you can't resist it, and I can ..hmmmm, I wonder why?

Actually, I am a libertarian who abhors government control …but nice try to fit me into your preconceived box."

Well, I'm talking about the overweight who want to lose weight. People in THAT box are the ones I am addressing.

Advertising plays a huge role in how they think of food and what they eat.

If you have conquered that and maintain your weight where you want it, congratulations.

Frankly, I can't figure out WHO you're addressing.
In any post you comment on. Mayhaps it's just me.

Madaly320

I am full of excuses for why I fail. The excuse I use the most is that I got so busy. The real reason is that I am lazy. I guess it means I don't "want it bad enough". That could be it...I feel like I want it bad enough, but obviously I don't.

The truth is, I love food. I don't mind excercise one bit, but I LOVE to eat, and eat very bad things. I got tired of tracking my food and I just wanted to do what I want. and I let those feelings take over again, and I gained back the 20lbs which I worked VERY hard to remove.

I am back to the OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE phase, and I am ready again to work hard. I need to get to the root of the issue that causes my motivation to fade away. I hate that person I become, but she takes over. Here is to hoping I can overcome those lazy cravings!

fattymcrunnerpants

I haven't read through all the replies so maybe someone has said this already but how is failure being defined? I doubt it's something we all agree has a universal definition in terms of weight management. If my perfectionism gets in the way, failure might mean one thing. It's a difficult question to answer when we all use different yardsticks for what is considered failure.

For me failure is losing control completely. For myself I saw my weight continue to creep up and creep up more and more and more around January last year. I couldn't stop it from going higher and I got discouraged and therefore began not doing things I knew I should be doing such as staying gluten free (I have celiac's). Come to find out there was a combination of things going on but losing my control over what I should be doing also harmed me quite a bit. I had stayed away from gluten for YEARS, regularly exercised (3-4x's/ week) for YEARS. That is failure to me, stopping doing the things you should be doing just because you get discouraged. Failure for me has never been defined by a certain weight. It has been maintaining a space (mind and body) where I feel my best.

XxmeetmydedicationxX

Yeah, I have to agree with the others that say it's the people that view it as a "diet" rather than a "lifestyle change". I've been maintaining my weight for almost 2 years now & I honestly see it as my way of life. I don't stress too much if I treat myself or indulge now and then - I just make sure I stay on my weekly targets and cut back a little bit in the following days if necessary

I think it's moreso the people that think "Oh, I'm going to cut out ALL carbs until I lose x amount of pounds" or "Oh, I'm going to only eat cabbage soup for all my meals until I lose x amount of pounds". And those approaches might work out in the short term, but once they actually DO lose "x amount of pounds", they're just going to pile it back on again when they start re-introducing carbs into their diets or foods other than cabbage soup.

So my advice to you, OP is to NOT restrict yourself or demonize certain foods. Stick to your weekly calorie goals and try to meet your macros as much as possible, but make it SUSTAINABLE to do so. If you're craving chocolate cake one day, save some room in your allowance for a slice of chocolate cake. If you're craving taco bell, leave a space in your cals for a burrito. Whatever tickles your fancy! It's gotta be a plan that you can stick with for years to come :happy:

AtLeastOnceMore

I hit one particular weight, and it suddenly triggers a panic response that ends up with me comfort eating. I'm going through counselling to prevent it happening this time, but it's interesting the things that cause us to go back to old habits. This time it's a lifestyle change, not an 'eating program' or 'diet' or 'exercise regime' - it's just 'what I'm doing now to be as healthy as I can'.

Kittyvicious1

Three months in to losing weight, life struck, I lost my father and I was in my second semester of my Master's program at school. I finished the semester with A's but was running on fumes. People may do better if they plan or manage losing weight around life occurrences. In the two months I took off I gained ten out thirteen pounds back. Bottom line PLAN for success.

QuietBloom

Lack of success.

Seriously, just trying to bump this thread along so it goes off my feed.

twixlepennie

The National Weight Control Registry tracks people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. They have found some common behaviors in successful maintainers.


78% eat breakfast every day.
75% weigh themselves at least once a week.
62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.


More data available at: http://www.nwcr.ws/default.htm

I can't wait until I add my stats to that site It's very interesting to see how different people are succeeding at maintenance. I do eat breakfast every day, weigh myself every day, don't have a tv hooked up (wonder how internet plays a role though ), and I exercise 30 minutes a day/5 days a week. So pretty in line with the statistics.

Jestinia

how can I walk by a cupcake and not even glance at it, but you have an impulse to eat it? We both watch the same advertisement, yes? Yet you can't resist it, and I can ..hmmmm, I wonder why?

I think this is a great question. If it hasn't been well-researched, it should be. I don't think the answer is as simple as you probably think it is.

Sabine_Stroehm

Yeah, I have to agree with the others that say it's the people that view it as a "diet" rather than a "lifestyle change". I've been maintaining my weight for almost 2 years now & I honestly see it as my way of life. I don't stress too much if I treat myself or indulge now and then - I just make sure I stay on my weekly targets and cut back a little bit in the following days if necessary

I think it's moreso the people that think "Oh, I'm going to cut out ALL carbs until I lose x amount of pounds" or "Oh, I'm going to only eat cabbage soup for all my meals until I lose x amount of pounds". And those approaches might work out in the short term, but once they actually DO lose "x amount of pounds", they're just going to pile it back on again when they start re-introducing carbs into their diets or foods other than cabbage soup.

So my advice to you, OP is to NOT restrict yourself or demonize certain foods. Stick to your weekly calorie goals and try to meet your macros as much as possible, but make it SUSTAINABLE to do so. If you're craving chocolate cake one day, save some room in your allowance for a slice of chocolate cake. If you're craving taco bell, leave a space in your cals for a burrito. Whatever tickles your fancy! It's gotta be a plan that you can stick with for years to come :happy:

What needs to happen, regardless of whether one reduces or eliminates (I think the word demonize is so silly) the consumption of certain foods, or ingredients (enriched, bleached, white flour for example), or simply counts calories and eats whatever actual foods they want, is to have a plan for after the dieting period is over. EITHER approach will lead to weight gain if the dieter returns to their previous HABITS. i.e., if the person who gives up enriched, bleached white flour goes back to eating two seven layer burritos (for example), for lunch (and does what he used to do at breakfast and dinner) then he will likely gain weight back. If someone diets by eating one chile cheese burrito, then returns to eating two seven layer burritos (and whatever they used to eat for breakfast and dinner) that person will gain the weight back too. There's nothing magical about eating your comfort foods (but at a deficit). You've got to have a plan for how to eat the right number of calories to maintain. Each day the introduction section has thread after thread of folks coming back... Most probably simply counted calories (since formal diet plans aren't popular here).
You've gotta have a plan for the rest of your life. That's the key. And if you exercised to lose, then you need to exercise forever, (or change something else).
I personally think that folks who learn to build their diets around nutritious whole foods WHILE they are losing weight, and who continue to eat primarily nutritious foods, such as high fiber vegetables (for example) will be more likely to succeed in the long run, because they will be fueling their bodies and will be less likely to "binge" or otherwise overdo.

QuietBloom

Yeah, I have to agree with the others that say it's the people that view it as a "diet" rather than a "lifestyle change". I've been maintaining my weight for almost 2 years now & I honestly see it as my way of life. I don't stress too much if I treat myself or indulge now and then - I just make sure I stay on my weekly targets and cut back a little bit in the following days if necessary

I think it's moreso the people that think "Oh, I'm going to cut out ALL carbs until I lose x amount of pounds" or "Oh, I'm going to only eat cabbage soup for all my meals until I lose x amount of pounds". And those approaches might work out in the short term, but once they actually DO lose "x amount of pounds", they're just going to pile it back on again when they start re-introducing carbs into their diets or foods other than cabbage soup.

So my advice to you, OP is to NOT restrict yourself or demonize certain foods. Stick to your weekly calorie goals and try to meet your macros as much as possible, but make it SUSTAINABLE to do so. If you're craving chocolate cake one day, save some room in your allowance for a slice of chocolate cake. If you're craving taco bell, leave a space in your cals for a burrito. Whatever tickles your fancy! It's gotta be a plan that you can stick with for years to come :happy:

What needs to happen, regardless of whether one reduces or eliminates (I think the word demonize is so silly) the consumption of certain foods, or ingredients (enriched, bleached, white flour for example), or simply counts calories and eats whatever actual foods they want, is to have a plan for after the dieting period is over. EITHER approach will lead to weight gain if the dieter returns to their previous HABITS. i.e., if the person who gives up enriched, bleached white flour goes back to eating two seven layer burritos (for example), for lunch (and does what he used to do at breakfast and dinner) then he will likely gain weight back. If someone diets by eating one chile cheese burrito, then returns to eating two seven layer burritos (and whatever they used to eat for breakfast and dinner) that person will gain the weight back too. There's nothing magical about eating your comfort foods (but at a deficit). You've got to have a plan for how to eat the right number of calories to maintain. Each day the introduction section has thread after thread of folks coming back... Most probably simply counted calories (since formal diet plans aren't popular here).
You've gotta have a plan for the rest of your life. That's the key. And if you exercised to lose, then you need to exercise forever, (or change something else).
I personally think that folks who learn to build their diets around nutritious whole foods WHILE they are losing weight, and who continue to eat primarily nutritious foods, such as high fiber vegetables (for example) will be more likely to succeed in the long run, because they will be fueling their bodies and will be less likely to "binge" or otherwise overdo.

Studies show that virtually all folks who lose weight on diet-only programs gain it back after five years, no matter what type of diet..

It is becoming clear that diets don't address a central eating issue that "naturally" thin people have successfully conquered, and that is the sensation of hunger, which is basically signals from the stomach saying it is empty.

That aspect CAN be addressed by the dieter by consciously eating small meals, and even skipping a meal, in order to adapt and get used to the sensation. The brain is plastic and constantly adapting and this approach results in real change.

Happy New Year!

I'm pretty sure that naturally thin people get hungry and eat too (I know, I am one of them). So 'getting used to the sensation of hunger' is not a plausible solution. Unless you can point us toward any credible research.

Sabine_Stroehm

Yeah, I have to agree with the others that say it's the people that view it as a "diet" rather than a "lifestyle change". I've been maintaining my weight for almost 2 years now & I honestly see it as my way of life. I don't stress too much if I treat myself or indulge now and then - I just make sure I stay on my weekly targets and cut back a little bit in the following days if necessary

I think it's moreso the people that think "Oh, I'm going to cut out ALL carbs until I lose x amount of pounds" or "Oh, I'm going to only eat cabbage soup for all my meals until I lose x amount of pounds". And those approaches might work out in the short term, but once they actually DO lose "x amount of pounds", they're just going to pile it back on again when they start re-introducing carbs into their diets or foods other than cabbage soup.

So my advice to you, OP is to NOT restrict yourself or demonize certain foods. Stick to your weekly calorie goals and try to meet your macros as much as possible, but make it SUSTAINABLE to do so. If you're craving chocolate cake one day, save some room in your allowance for a slice of chocolate cake. If you're craving taco bell, leave a space in your cals for a burrito. Whatever tickles your fancy! It's gotta be a plan that you can stick with for years to come :happy:

What needs to happen, regardless of whether one reduces or eliminates (I think the word demonize is so silly) the consumption of certain foods, or ingredients (enriched, bleached, white flour for example), or simply counts calories and eats whatever actual foods they want, is to have a plan for after the dieting period is over. EITHER approach will lead to weight gain if the dieter returns to their previous HABITS. i.e., if the person who gives up enriched, bleached white flour goes back to eating two seven layer burritos (for example), for lunch (and does what he used to do at breakfast and dinner) then he will likely gain weight back. If someone diets by eating one chile cheese burrito, then returns to eating two seven layer burritos (and whatever they used to eat for breakfast and dinner) that person will gain the weight back too. There's nothing magical about eating your comfort foods (but at a deficit). You've got to have a plan for how to eat the right number of calories to maintain. Each day the introduction section has thread after thread of folks coming back... Most probably simply counted calories (since formal diet plans aren't popular here).
You've gotta have a plan for the rest of your life. That's the key. And if you exercised to lose, then you need to exercise forever, (or change something else).
I personally think that folks who learn to build their diets around nutritious whole foods WHILE they are losing weight, and who continue to eat primarily nutritious foods, such as high fiber vegetables (for example) will be more likely to succeed in the long run, because they will be fueling their bodies and will be less likely to "binge" or otherwise overdo.

Studies show that virtually all folks who lose weight on diet-only programs gain it back after five years, no matter what type of diet..

It is becoming clear that diets don't address a central eating issue that "naturally" thin people have successfully conquered, and that is the sensation of hunger, which is basically signals from the stomach saying it is empty.

That aspect CAN be addressed by the dieter by consciously eating small meals, and even skipping a meal, in order to adapt and get used to the sensation. The brain is plastic and constantly adapting and this approach results in real change.

Happy New Year!

I've maintained for about 12 years now. I don't skip meals. In fact I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks. for me the key is NOT getting hungry.

ETA: everyone in my family is fat, so I don't think I'm "naturally thin".

Mr_Knight

The National Weight Control Registry tracks people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. They have found some common behaviors in successful maintainers.

Have to be careful drawing sweeping conclusions from this. For example....

78% eat breakfast every day.

Turns out an even higher percentage of obese folks eat breakfast, so the obvious inference is that skipping breakfast helps maintain weight loss.

ndj1979

how can I walk by a cupcake and not even glance at it, but you have an impulse to eat it? We both watch the same advertisement, yes? Yet you can't resist it, and I can ..hmmmm, I wonder why?

I think this is a great question. If it hasn't been well-researched, it should be. I don't think the answer is as simple as you probably think it is.

well the original premise of that poster was that "advertising" make us eat the cupcake…so how do we watch the same ad and he eats, and I do not?

devodev44

I think the reasons are vast and depends on the individual.

That said, one common reason that often comes up is a lack of patience.

Folks forget that it may have taken them 1 year to gain 20 pounds, then after 2-3 years/40-60 pounds more, they want the weight gone in 6 months or some other fraction of time.

If it is not, they get discouraged, quit, try again next year and the cycle repeats over and over again (usually with added weight).

madaleingericke

After 14 years at a little lower than my "ideal weight " and never gaining any weight, I started packing on the pounds without a change in lifestyle or diet. Why?
Doctors shrug. Genes. Metabolism. Age...
My conclusion? I either have to starve myself, or I have to literally look the other way when there's food or a mirror anywhere near!

Linda09189

I don't think "No discipline" is right at all, most ppl who are heaving are discipline, some it just doesn't come off, so to say that ppl who are heavy have no discipline is just not right....I don't know one person who is heavy that likes it.....

Jestinia

how can I walk by a cupcake and not even glance at it, but you have an impulse to eat it? We both watch the same advertisement, yes? Yet you can't resist it, and I can ..hmmmm, I wonder why?

I think this is a great question. If it hasn't been well-researched, it should be. I don't think the answer is as simple as you probably think it is.

well the original premise of that poster was that "advertising" make us eat the cupcake…so how do we watch the same ad and he eats, and I do not?

That is the question that needs answering. Why?

Also why is it that some people find it easier to eat one cupcake and stop than to never have a cupcake at all, and some find it easier to not eat any cupcake at all rather than stop after just one?