What causes failure?

Senneth12

For me, it is all about sustainability.

I gained a lot of weight (70 lbs). I lost a lot of weight (45 lbs). I gained some back (15lbs). I've kept the rest (30lbs) off for six years. That leaves me at 150lbs at 5'9.

I can maintain at 150 without counting calories, as long as my diet is decent (plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein, limited junk food and desserts). I can't maintain at 135-140 without counting calories. I fall into disordered eating easily when I'm counting calories, which isn't healthy, so if I can maintain at 150 without counting, I'm healthier as a whole person than if I maintain by counting calories at 135-140. Add in a long series of injuries, and it's really hard to heal right when you're limiting calories.

Now I'm back because my doctors want me to track my sodium and protein intake, and MFP is an incredibly easy way to do that.

I don't consider my partial weight regain as a failure. At 5'9 and 150 lbs, I'm a dress size 8-10. I would like to be a few pounds lighter, but I'm happy enough where I am. I wouldn't be happy if I regained all of it.

I think that if you look at it as a lifestyle change, you'll be fine.

I figured out what worked for me, and slowly transitioned out of calorie counting while monitoring my weight. I ate the same foods I did while calorie counting, and at first I still wrote them down, but without the calories. Eventually I stopped food journaling completely. The transition took about a year and a half. What I ate and the amounts didn't change much. I substitute foods here and there, but I check calorie count. If I'm replacing an about 500 calorie meal, I either replace with another 500 cal meal or add or subtract from other meals. I don't consider it strict calorie counting, but it sort of is.

hazeljordan1974

I think the main reason is that each of us is so different and we are trying to use a "one size fits all" approach - yes in simple terms it is a case of a calorie deficit to lose weight, neutral calories to maintain and excess calories to gain but we are not cars with a "tank full/tank empty" gauge where we can calculate very accurately the "miles per gallon" - we forget to log things, we over estimate exercise calories, we have families and lots of other drains on our time - I think it is a miracle we stay within 10lbs of a goal, let alone a couple that we all aspire to.

I have been under my goal for 3 months now and I was actually getting suspicious of my scales the other day as I had weighed in at the same weight for 6 days in a row and assumed them to be broken - up I hopped again holding some cans to add extra weight and found I am maintaining at the moment. But I have been here before and know that if I take my eye off the ball my weight will increase and continue to do so unless I log everything I eat and drink. I have to consider how important it is for me to maintain versus the freedom of never counting again - I enjoy being the weight I am, it gives me confidence, I am stronger, I am fitter, I can wear lovely clothes, I can choose who I date and I don't hate looking in the mirror - if this is available to me for 15 minutes a day logging, being careful what I eat and being a regular at the gym surely I can carry on doing this? I am terrified though as I have done this before and it always ends with me unable to do up my size 18 jeans (UK size) and grabbing handfuls of fat stomach and crying....

Rachelmilloy

Bump. This is definitely something I want to read through later, thanks!

wild_wild_life

For me, it is all about sustainability.

I gained a lot of weight (70 lbs). I lost a lot of weight (45 lbs). I gained some back (15lbs). I've kept the rest (30lbs) off for six years. That leaves me at 150lbs at 5'9.

I can maintain at 150 without counting calories, as long as my diet is decent (plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein, limited junk food and desserts). I can't maintain at 135-140 without counting calories. I fall into disordered eating easily when I'm counting calories, which isn't healthy, so if I can maintain at 150 without counting, I'm healthier as a whole person than if I maintain by counting calories at 135-140. Add in a long series of injuries, and it's really hard to heal right when you're limiting calories.

Now I'm back because my doctors want me to track my sodium and protein intake, and MFP is an incredibly easy way to do that.

I don't consider my partial weight regain as a failure. At 5'9 and 150 lbs, I'm a dress size 8-10. I would like to be a few pounds lighter, but I'm happy enough where I am. I wouldn't be happy if I regained all of it.

I think that if you look at it as a lifestyle change, you'll be fine.

I figured out what worked for me, and slowly transitioned out of calorie counting while monitoring my weight. I ate the same foods I did while calorie counting, and at first I still wrote them down, but without the calories. Eventually I stopped food journaling completely. The transition took about a year and a half. What I ate and the amounts didn't change much. I substitute foods here and there, but I check calorie count. If I'm replacing an about 500 calorie meal, I either replace with another 500 cal meal or add or subtract from other meals. I don't consider it strict calorie counting, but it sort of is.

Great comment. I think it is important to find a balance between where our brain wants to be, our body wants to be, and the amount of time and energy it takes to be there. I also feel I could maintain at a lower weight but the amount of effort required is exponentially increased. At the same time, it doesn't mean a free-for-all, lack of willpower, or no attention at all to diet. It's all about a balance that works for the individual at this point in their life. Sometimes the balance is not what we planned, but it doesn't mean failure.

focuseddiva

I lost a ton of weight and maintained that loss for FOUR YEARS. They say if you get to the 5-year mark of maintaining your loss, it's a permanent lifestyle change. I never made it to the 5-year mark. I let old eating habits come in. I rationalized too much that I could have this or that, because I was at my goal weight. Every week that I wanted to get back on track was pushed to the next week. And then, THE BIGGEST PREDICTOR of regaining was this:

I stopped weighing myself.

So, I'm back at it now. But I have to weigh myself daily or weekly. It's the only way to know. Otherwise, too easy to rationalize that your clothes don't realllly feel tighter, do they?

You have to fight for it every day. Every. Day.

happylady5254

I absolutely agree with you.
I also think that this is a lifetimes change in habits. When I followed this planned diet I was never hungry but I was careful
. I ate three times a day. Its xmas now and I've put on 4 pounds because i have taken my eye of the ball.

Following the calories focuses the mind as to what foods are healthy and what are not. Today I ate a higgidy quiche and realised it was over 400 calories. My husband made it and I was totally unaware until I checked it out. I would prefer to have had a salad and then eat a nice meal in the evening really. So i am going back on this diet but starting in the new year. Im 61 so its harder as you get older as everyone knows. Remember alcohol is dangerous, so I.m keeping to a slimline tonic.

andreahanlon

I think it's about mindset. Some folks go about it thinking they will do whatever they have to in order to lose weight.... and they do, but it is not sustainable. A person can only hold on to a "Whatever it Takes" mentality for so long before reverting back. Making changes one can maintain as a longterm lifestyle is the ticket. I think it also can take many attempts before a person finds out what qualifies a longterm change for them personally.

jim9097

Let me offer a different view. Most of us dream about winning $636M in the lottery, getting more money to do less, or that our lives were easier in some way. Without challenges, obstacles, troubles, FAILURES, mistakes, problems, dilemmas, and even catastrophes, our lives would be less not more. To achieve anything worthwhile in life, there has to be struggle. A challenge is not about what it is you want to achieve, but more about the struggle that it will require surmounting the obstacles to achieving it. A Challenge is what you can use to test the limits of your physical skills and mental willpower. The results of a challenge will tell you what you are made of.

My advice is to get most excited when things get most difficult. Welcome the challenge. People who excel get fired up for the greatest obstacles because he or she knows they are his or her opportunity to find greatness. That person comes upon a roadblock does not see a stopping point, but an obstacle that can, must, and will be overcome to reach a higher level.

My point is that failure is not a bad thing; it is simply a challenge that you must overcome. Once it is put in the right perspective it can be used for learning and becoming mentally and physically stronger. SO, who cares what causes failure; it is how you respond to that failure that is important.

ggeise14

Bump to read later

shad1018

Ditto - the goal for me is to never have to diet again. Move more... Eat less, it's a lifestyle.

randomtai

Freaking out over the small things cause failure.

E_Brault

I fall into the category of peer pressure. When out on dates, a boyfriend actually said, "You are not really going to eat a garden burger?" I've had friends want to take me to a rib house - that is the last place I wanted to be. Just acknowledging this is happening is big for me. I will have to develop a strategy for social situations. Maybe something simple, like you said, "I can't eat what everyone else eats."

margaretturk

I agree that maintaining weight loss is a paradigm shift. Replacing your old habits with new habits that help you maintain your weight. There are sometimes mitigating factors like illness and medications that make it more difficult. I have maintained a 25 pound weight loss for a year now. What has helped me is to become better informed. I have read books like MIndless Eating and Salt, Fat , and Sugar which is about how the big food rely on these substances to get us to buy more of their products. Are my diet and exercise habits perfect even with this knowledge? No. I do find knowing what causes food cravings and how there are factors out there that sabotage our best efforts useful.

Good luck in your own process of losing and maintaining weight. There are many of us trying to accomplish the same thing. Everyone has to find their own way and what works for them.

Merry Christmas.

0EmmeNicole0

Really, it's a lot of reasons and it all depends on the person.

I think failure leads to poor planning. If you don't plan ahead for times where you would be weak then you are likely to fail. So my two cents are know your weaknesses, know your temptations, and plan accordingly.

Sreneesa

Not being consistent

ldrosophila

false expectations, not dealing with the mind, not being mindful, finding excuses, go out of routine, thinking it's over, not paying attention anymore

arewethereyet

You know how Nike says "JUST DO IT" ?? For me it was just not doing it.

I had lost the 35+ pounds I wanted to. Had the body I liked after going to the gym, lifting weights, was strong (grrrrrrrrrr) walking everyday and even ran a mile. :laugh:

The week I logged my last pound I:
*told my husband I wanted a divorce
*had a stroke/TIA the same day, where they found a hole in my heart
*had heart surgery which took me off work for 4 wks
*Got back to work and the job I loved was eliminated
*Was blessed to be moved to a new job, same pay, but not one that I had wanted and with an expectation that was unreachable
*Went for a minor sx on my neck,an injection only really where they burn a nerve, so that I would be the 100% I wanted to be for my new job.
*This created daily migraine pain and visual disturbance no one could fix. The occipital nerve was over heated and that was 3 yrs ago, it is still not better
*got divorce after nearly 30 yrs
*My daughter moved out and to another city 3 hrs away
*Had severe abdominal pain, had a test and found a bad infection, the antibiotics made me sicker
*They found reflux with burns on my throat I didn't know about
*IBS severe and painful
THEN I found out by accident I have been severely depressed for the past 2 years

BUT............... the question is WHAT CAUSES FAILURE???


I stopped exercising.
I stopped watching what I eat.
I stopped logging my food.
I thought I 'had this'

The bottom line is, excuses. Yes I had reasons, for a day to day might not do it, but EXCUSES as to why I didn't keep going. I DO believe whole heartedly that most of the things to follow would have been much easier to handle, or not there at all, if I had continued to exercise and eat right.

This IS life change. Sounds like just words, but if you change the way you think it will be a life time. Now when I go out to dinner on a date I am not the least bit embarrassed " Grilled chicken/fish dry, steamed veggies, real butter on the side, huge salad with dressing on the side and no croutons. Rolls for my date only please" I have never had a funny look. Actually I think the guys like that I know what I want. Oh and I EAT my food too :laugh:

SO What causes failure? Not doing it.

arewethereyet

false expectations, not dealing with the mind, not being mindful, finding excuses, go out of routine, thinking it's over, not paying attention anymore

Can we be friends, you said that in less than 20 words :laugh:

danifo0811

I think the 5 year mark is an interesting idea. My step dad has lost and gained 50-80lbs multiple times. He usually maintains it for 3-4 years and then gains it back in a few months. He still exercises, he still eats healthy but his portions change.

I don't think it is all laziness. I think some part of it is you feel you have the knowledge of what you should do, you know that you can do it because you've been doing it for several years so it must be habit and maybe one day you are just sick of recording/weighing everything.

Really, most of us are here because we have had some kind of issue with food. Once you stop tracking, you are probably on your way to gaining back. If you didn't have an issue with food and you came here to decrease body fat but not change your weight or just watch your macros, you are probably fine with not tracking.

likitisplit

I can maintain pretty well when I have a consistent exercise routine. The things that have gotten me off track are major life changes (waitress to college, foot surgery and pregnancy).