Totally not cool.
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I have no idea why you have not been asked out.
I sense that you are overly picky given your own "market value" so to speak. You talk about having many guy friends, but none are suitable. Additionally, men are often turned off by women with more guy friends than women friends, so in the long term, that does not work to your favor. I'm always amazed with women 30+ being incredibly fussy, when in fact the logical move is to become less selective. This 'tude breeds the perpetually single cat woman, but I digress.
Anyway, you could do online dating. I wouldn't recommend it, but here's what it is likely to happen for you. Your inbox will be full, as you will have hundreds of messages. Many will be creepy. But you could sequence 5 dates in 5 days no problem.
What I would recommend is an offline approach. Get to meet people in person first, that way, you have a better sense of the in person experience of that person right away rather than wasting your time with someone who you only see words from. Communication entails far more than just words. You said you go to the gym. Get your body in rockin' shape. We're talking normal BMI range, flat stomach, some muscle definition. You don't need six pack abs or anything, you just want to look good. That'll help you attract the man you probably want. You have two ways in a gym setting to meet men. First, never wear headphones to the gym in a basic weight room and machines type setting. That'll make you more approachable. Also, you could take a fitness class. Fitness classes have a greater social component than the plain old typical weight room setting.
Other options include the grocery store, coffee shops, retail stores. Always wear skimpy clothing to accentuate your best physical asset. That ought to help you get asked out more in person.
Most of the women I interact with talk about getting too much attention. I think what I suggest will help you get more attention.
Happy hunting!0 -
You have to reevaluate your lifestyle and understand when and how you are giving opportunity for guys to ask you out. If you are always hanging out with your friends, there are a very few guys who would get up and try to get you out of your group and ask you out. If you want to be asked out, you have to make yourself look available and give the guys a hint. Here are some tips
Go clubbing and get up on dance floor by yourself. You can have your friends keep an eye on you from a distance, but don't make it look like you are with somebody.
At meetups, conference, trade shows etc, look for guys you might be interested in and ask simple questions to help you with something, let the guy lead you from then on.
On social networks, comment, like on guys posts you might be interested in and let them start a conversation with you and you can guide the conversation towards getting asked out.
Hope that helps.0 -
I sense that you are overly picky given your own "market value" so to speak.
Every time you post, you endear yourself more and more to the women around here. You're such a great guy. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. Really. I bet you have women falling all over themselves to get to go out with you.0 -
I have no idea why you have not been asked out.
I sense that you are overly picky given your own "market value" so to speak. You talk about having many guy friends, but none are suitable. Additionally, men are often turned off by women with more guy friends than women friends, so in the long term, that does not work to your favor. I'm always amazed with women 30+ being incredibly fussy, when in fact the logical move is to become less selective. This 'tude breeds the perpetually single cat woman, but I digress.
Anyway, you could do online dating. I wouldn't recommend it, but here's what it is likely to happen for you. Your inbox will be full, as you will have hundreds of messages. Many will be creepy. But you could sequence 5 dates in 5 days no problem.
What I would recommend is an offline approach. Get to meet people in person first, that way, you have a better sense of the in person experience of that person right away rather than wasting your time with someone who you only see words from. Communication entails far more than just words. You said you go to the gym. Get your body in rockin' shape. We're talking normal BMI range, flat stomach, some muscle definition. You don't need six pack abs or anything, you just want to look good. That'll help you attract the man you probably want. You have two ways in a gym setting to meet men. First, never wear headphones to the gym in a basic weight room and machines type setting. That'll make you more approachable. Also, you could take a fitness class. Fitness classes have a greater social component than the plain old typical weight room setting.
Other options include the grocery store, coffee shops, retail stores. Always wear skimpy clothing to accentuate your best physical asset. That ought to help you get asked out more in person.
Most of the women I interact with talk about getting too much attention. I think what I suggest will help you get more attention.
Happy hunting!
Wow. This post was a roller coaster. I nodded in agreement. I was puzzled. Offended. Nodded in agreement. Confused; not sure if I should be angry or amused. Then I was pretty sure you were quoting from some Cosmo magazine or '50's advice column as a joke. Then I was like...yeah, that makes sense. Back to offended.
Fun ride, thanks.0 -
I totally get where you're coming from OP, except in my case I have tons of dates.....that go nowhere. Like NOWHERE. And I have been beating myself up about why....after every one....WHY do they end? (For the record I do online dating, so this is not men asking me out in real life, rather over email or text)
And last night (after my date) it came to me. I'm a B!tch. Straight up b!tch. Now don't get me wrong...it's not all the time. And I'm so caring and compassionate and funny and generous. I have a heart of gold and I generally tend to put others first. BUT if I don't agree with something....or I don't like something.....I'm SO transparent. Like last night I could feel my eyebrows raise and my eyes squint :laugh: I think I roll my eyes too. Like the guy on last Saturday evening that told me he doesn't eat bread because it's "genetically modified". I mean COME ON!!!! Thinking back, the date went downhill after that because I was pretty much like WTF are you talking about? :laugh:
Anyway....I don't think you should change who you are either....I think you are gorgeous and fun! But maybe you are unapproachable.....or maybe overly picky (this happens to me a lot too). It's easy to start to think that all men are douche's (haha been there done that and will probably feel that way later today :laugh: ) but really they aren't. It's just a matter of finding the right ones
It will happen though....and when it does you will know why it took so long :flowerforyou: 0 -
I totally get where you're coming from OP, except in my case I have tons of dates.....that go nowhere. Like NOWHERE. And I have been beating myself up about why....after every one....WHY do they end? (For the record I do online dating, so this is not men asking me out in real life, rather over email or text)
And last night (after my date) it came to me. I'm a B!tch. Straight up b!tch. Now don't get me wrong...it's not all the time. And I'm so caring and compassionate and funny and generous. I have a heart of gold and I generally tend to put others first. BUT if I don't agree with something....or I don't like something.....I'm SO transparent. Like last night I could feel my eyebrows raise and my eyes squint :laugh: I think I roll my eyes too. Like the guy on last Saturday evening that told me he doesn't eat bread because it's "genetically modified". I mean COME ON!!!! Thinking back, the date went downhill after that because I was pretty much like WTF are you talking about? :laugh:
Anyway....I don't think you should change who you are either....I think you are gorgeous and fun! But maybe you are unapproachable.....or maybe overly picky (this happens to me a lot too). It's easy to start to think that all men are douche's (haha been there done that and will probably feel that way later today :laugh: ) but really they aren't. It's just a matter of finding the right ones It will happen though....and when it does you will know why it took so long :flowerforyou:
Sounds like all of your dates have dodged a bullet. I couldn't imagine being with someone who gets so bent out of shape after talking about GMO wheat products. Maybe this attitude is normal and I've just been extremely lucky with the women I've been in serious relationships with over the years.
I think this is a prime example why men would rather just "hang out" and grab coffee instead of going out to a nice dinner during the courting process. I couldn't imagine sitting across from someone after getting into this kind of trivial argument. Talk about awkward!0 -
Maybe you're putting a the "unavailable/unappoachable" sort of "vibe"?
Maybe guys are doing the old "ahh man, I'd love to ask her but she's totally out of my league and would never say yes..0 -
I have no idea why you have not been asked out.
I sense that you are overly picky given your own "market value" so to speak. You talk about having many guy friends, but none are suitable. Additionally, men are often turned off by women with more guy friends than women friends, so in the long term, that does not work to your favor. I'm always amazed with women 30+ being incredibly fussy, when in fact the logical move is to become less selective. This 'tude breeds the perpetually single cat woman, but I digress.
Anyway, you could do online dating. I wouldn't recommend it, but here's what it is likely to happen for you. Your inbox will be full, as you will have hundreds of messages. Many will be creepy. But you could sequence 5 dates in 5 days no problem.
What I would recommend is an offline approach. Get to meet people in person first, that way, you have a better sense of the in person experience of that person right away rather than wasting your time with someone who you only see words from. Communication entails far more than just words. You said you go to the gym. Get your body in rockin' shape. We're talking normal BMI range, flat stomach, some muscle definition. You don't need six pack abs or anything, you just want to look good. That'll help you attract the man you probably want. You have two ways in a gym setting to meet men. First, never wear headphones to the gym in a basic weight room and machines type setting. That'll make you more approachable. Also, you could take a fitness class. Fitness classes have a greater social component than the plain old typical weight room setting.
Other options include the grocery store, coffee shops, retail stores. Always wear skimpy clothing to accentuate your best physical asset. That ought to help you get asked out more in person.
Most of the women I interact with talk about getting too much attention. I think what I suggest will help you get more attention.
Happy hunting!
WTF!!
OP I think you have enough sense to ignore everything this guy says, don't you
:flowerforyou: 0 -
I totally get where you're coming from OP, except in my case I have tons of dates.....that go nowhere. Like NOWHERE. And I have been beating myself up about why....after every one....WHY do they end? (For the record I do online dating, so this is not men asking me out in real life, rather over email or text)
And last night (after my date) it came to me. I'm a B!tch. Straight up b!tch. Now don't get me wrong...it's not all the time. And I'm so caring and compassionate and funny and generous. I have a heart of gold and I generally tend to put others first. BUT if I don't agree with something....or I don't like something.....I'm SO transparent. Like last night I could feel my eyebrows raise and my eyes squint :laugh: I think I roll my eyes too. Like the guy on last Saturday evening that told me he doesn't eat bread because it's "genetically modified". I mean COME ON!!!! Thinking back, the date went downhill after that because I was pretty much like WTF are you talking about? :laugh:
Anyway....I don't think you should change who you are either....I think you are gorgeous and fun! But maybe you are unapproachable.....or maybe overly picky (this happens to me a lot too). It's easy to start to think that all men are douche's (haha been there done that and will probably feel that way later today :laugh: ) but really they aren't. It's just a matter of finding the right ones It will happen though....and when it does you will know why it took so long :flowerforyou:
Sounds like all of your dates have dodged a bullet. I couldn't imagine being with someone who gets so bent out of shape after talking about GMO wheat products. Maybe this attitude is normal and I've just been extremely lucky with the women I've been in serious relationships with over the years.
I think this is a prime example why men would rather just "hang out" and grab coffee instead of going out to a nice dinner during the courting process. I couldn't imagine sitting across from someone after getting into this kind of trivial argument. Talk about awkward!
Dodged a bullet is a pretty harsh statement, no? And it actually wasn't that I got "so bent out of shape" but I did challenge him on it and it wasn't an "argument" at all, rather a discussion. Perhaps I am the one that dodged a bullet if a man can't have a discussion/debate on something.
Thanks for coming out though.0 -
Sounds like all of your dates have dodged a bullet. I couldn't imagine being with someone who gets so bent out of shape after talking about GMO wheat products.
Yeah. It was her dates that dodged the bullet.0 -
Sounds like all of your dates have dodged a bullet. I couldn't imagine being with someone who gets so bent out of shape after talking about GMO wheat products.
Yeah. It was her dates that dodged the bullet.
Thank you :flowerforyou:0 -
Sounds like all of your dates have dodged a bullet. I couldn't imagine being with someone who gets so bent out of shape after talking about GMO wheat products.
Yeah. It was her dates that dodged the bullet.
Thank you :flowerforyou:
Stupidity and buying into every fad and media-hyped panic is enough reason to not want to see someone again, if you ask me. lol
Anyway, don't mind Mike. He's a bit of an egotistical misogynist.0 -
Anyway, you could do online dating. I wouldn't recommend it, but here's what it is likely to happen for you. Your inbox will be full, as you will have hundreds of messages. Many will be creepy. But you could sequence 5 dates in 5 days no problem.
Quality over quantity is the name of the game (or should be).
There was a thread in another forum about a guy who made a fake OKCupid profile. The profile had an obese woman who said numerous times throughout her profile that she was HIV positive. The OP had screenshots of her inbox and it was full of men flat out asking for sex.
As a man, I just have to SMH at a lot of guys who do online. Though I'm sure there some good guys out there.0 -
I wouldn't stress so much. I'm also 31 and I haven't been on a date in over a year. I don't get approached or asked out. I know I'm intimidating though. I'm independent and fairly accomplished, which can be a bit much for a man's ego.
Like everyone has said, it's when you stop looking that someone comes into your life. This has been correct in almost every one of my previous relationships.
Keep in mind that people settle a lot later in life now. Single in your early 30s isn't that big of a deal. Plus, many couples divorce around this time, too. So there'll be more fish in the sea. Just focus on yourself and being happy.0 -
I have no idea why you have not been asked out.
I sense that you are overly picky given your own "market value" so to speak. You talk about having many guy friends, but none are suitable. Additionally, men are often turned off by women with more guy friends than women friends, so in the long term, that does not work to your favor. I'm always amazed with women 30+ being incredibly fussy, when in fact the logical move is to become less selective. This 'tude breeds the perpetually single cat woman, but I digress.
Anyway, you could do online dating. I wouldn't recommend it, but here's what it is likely to happen for you. Your inbox will be full, as you will have hundreds of messages. Many will be creepy. But you could sequence 5 dates in 5 days no problem.
What I would recommend is an offline approach. Get to meet people in person first, that way, you have a better sense of the in person experience of that person right away rather than wasting your time with someone who you only see words from. Communication entails far more than just words. You said you go to the gym. Get your body in rockin' shape. We're talking normal BMI range, flat stomach, some muscle definition. You don't need six pack abs or anything, you just want to look good. That'll help you attract the man you probably want. You have two ways in a gym setting to meet men. First, never wear headphones to the gym in a basic weight room and machines type setting. That'll make you more approachable. Also, you could take a fitness class. Fitness classes have a greater social component than the plain old typical weight room setting.
Other options include the grocery store, coffee shops, retail stores. Always wear skimpy clothing to accentuate your best physical asset. That ought to help you get asked out more in person.
Most of the women I interact with talk about getting too much attention. I think what I suggest will help you get more attention.
Happy hunting!
WTF!!
OP I think you have enough sense to ignore everything this guy says, don't you :flowerforyou:
Exactly where should I be ignored? Just want to know. The OP isn't being asked out. Things aren't working. I suggest shaking things up a bit. I think she'd be asked out more, and with less time wasting guys, by doing exactly what I say. And this is the thanks I get? I'm shaking my head.0 -
I totally get where you're coming from OP, except in my case I have tons of dates.....that go nowhere. Like NOWHERE. And I have been beating myself up about why....after every one....WHY do they end? (For the record I do online dating, so this is not men asking me out in real life, rather over email or text)
And last night (after my date) it came to me. I'm a B!tch. Straight up b!tch. Now don't get me wrong...it's not all the time. And I'm so caring and compassionate and funny and generous. I have a heart of gold and I generally tend to put others first. BUT if I don't agree with something....or I don't like something.....I'm SO transparent. Like last night I could feel my eyebrows raise and my eyes squint :laugh: I think I roll my eyes too. Like the guy on last Saturday evening that told me he doesn't eat bread because it's "genetically modified". I mean COME ON!!!! Thinking back, the date went downhill after that because I was pretty much like WTF are you talking about? :laugh:
Anyway....I don't think you should change who you are either....I think you are gorgeous and fun! But maybe you are unapproachable.....or maybe overly picky (this happens to me a lot too). It's easy to start to think that all men are douche's (haha been there done that and will probably feel that way later today :laugh: ) but really they aren't. It's just a matter of finding the right ones It will happen though....and when it does you will know why it took so long :flowerforyou:
Sounds like all of your dates have dodged a bullet. I couldn't imagine being with someone who gets so bent out of shape after talking about GMO wheat products. Maybe this attitude is normal and I've just been extremely lucky with the women I've been in serious relationships with over the years.
I think this is a prime example why men would rather just "hang out" and grab coffee instead of going out to a nice dinner during the courting process. I couldn't imagine sitting across from someone after getting into this kind of trivial argument. Talk about awkward!
Dodged a bullet is a pretty harsh statement, no? And it actually wasn't that I got "so bent out of shape" but I did challenge him on it and it wasn't an "argument" at all, rather a discussion. Perhaps I am the one that dodged a bullet if a man can't have a discussion/debate on something.
Thanks for coming out though.
Yeah, but you originally stated that "I'm a btch, a straight up btch" in your original post. And then you escalate an argument over something pretty insignificant and then blame the guy?0 -
If the ratio of women to men in New Zealand is 3/1 the odds are stacked against you to begin with. You do have a unique style, which I applaud, but the men that style attracts most likely are not the type you are looking for. Most men hitting 30 have a career where they can't have a style like yours and the women they are approaching are the ones they can take home for holiday. I am sure they can take you to meet family and friends but if their family/friends is not into the style....they would need to do the whole get to know her, you'll get why she is so great, thing. For a lot of men that would be a lot of extra work that without already knowing you, they may just not want to put in.
You also say you have many male friends, why are none of them date-able?
With a 3/1 ratio then your unique style, the odds are just not in a womans favor. Living in California again would make dating a lot easier for you probably :flowerforyou:
I do believe what the others have said, try to just be single without the worry and the right man will come to you.0 -
I totally get where you're coming from OP, except in my case I have tons of dates.....that go nowhere. Like NOWHERE. And I have been beating myself up about why....after every one....WHY do they end? (For the record I do online dating, so this is not men asking me out in real life, rather over email or text)
And last night (after my date) it came to me. I'm a B!tch. Straight up b!tch. Now don't get me wrong...it's not all the time. And I'm so caring and compassionate and funny and generous. I have a heart of gold and I generally tend to put others first. BUT if I don't agree with something....or I don't like something.....I'm SO transparent. Like last night I could feel my eyebrows raise and my eyes squint :laugh: I think I roll my eyes too. Like the guy on last Saturday evening that told me he doesn't eat bread because it's "genetically modified". I mean COME ON!!!! Thinking back, the date went downhill after that because I was pretty much like WTF are you talking about? :laugh:
Anyway....I don't think you should change who you are either....I think you are gorgeous and fun! But maybe you are unapproachable.....or maybe overly picky (this happens to me a lot too). It's easy to start to think that all men are douche's (haha been there done that and will probably feel that way later today :laugh: ) but really they aren't. It's just a matter of finding the right ones It will happen though....and when it does you will know why it took so long :flowerforyou:
Sounds like all of your dates have dodged a bullet. I couldn't imagine being with someone who gets so bent out of shape after talking about GMO wheat products. Maybe this attitude is normal and I've just been extremely lucky with the women I've been in serious relationships with over the years.
I think this is a prime example why men would rather just "hang out" and grab coffee instead of going out to a nice dinner during the courting process. I couldn't imagine sitting across from someone after getting into this kind of trivial argument. Talk about awkward!
Dodged a bullet is a pretty harsh statement, no? And it actually wasn't that I got "so bent out of shape" but I did challenge him on it and it wasn't an "argument" at all, rather a discussion. Perhaps I am the one that dodged a bullet if a man can't have a discussion/debate on something.
Thanks for coming out though.
Yeah, but you originally stated that "I'm a btch, a straight up btch" in your original post. And then you escalate an argument over something pretty insignificant and then blame the guy?
Calling yourself a female dog is not a good thing. There's an expression that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Guys like a sweet, feminine woman.
The whole GMO bread thing is absurd, but the main point I see because I see the bigger picture is how the dates are happening. Perhaps trifling discussions over GMO bread wouldn't happen on dates if VegasBaby met more men offline first and then went on a date with them. A lot of dates that happen from online/app sources really have no business happening if the two people met offline in a grocery store, fitness class, or quiet bar for 10 mins first and spent some quality time together.0 -
If the ratio of women to men in New Zealand is 3/1 the odds are stacked against you to begin with. You do have a unique style, which I applaud, but the men that style attracts most likely are not the type you are looking for. Most men hitting 30 have a career where they can't have a style like yours and the women they are approaching are the ones they can take home for holiday. I am sure they can take you to meet family and friends but if their family/friends is not into the style....they would need to do the whole get to know her, you'll get why she is so great, thing. For a lot of men that would be a lot of extra work that without already knowing you, they may just not want to put in.
Wow, where did you find the 3:1 female to male ratio? Census data for New Zealand has it at 1.05 : 1, male : female ratio.
The most extreme ratio on planet is China with a 1.12 : 1, male : female ratio.0
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