Mom's advice to son... Seriously?

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24

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  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Not impressed.

    There's such a paucity of decent guidance for young men and women regarding accountability. All young people should be explicitly told in no uncertain terms that they own their bodies, lives, choices, and consequences of those choices, and having sex while intoxicated and consent is blurry is a very bad choice for young men AND women, with the potential for horrible consequences for both. So DON'T.

    A suitcase full of condoms and some crap advice to get a meaningless consent text does not, IMO, drive this point home. What it does do is tell her son an ineffective strategy to shield him from his own bad choices, and that a woman's default setting is manipulation and entrapment. Awesome!

    But so many parents prefer to be their kids' friends today, and with so many adults showing they too have zero accountability and terrible judgment I'm not surprised to see advice like this being given. You can't teach what you don't know.

    Now I'm grumpy.
    Get off my lawn.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    She should have always taught him to respect women and treat them like people, and understand and respect sex as well. That women are capable of thinking and making decisions and are worth of friendship and even love. That sex is natural and enjoyable but shouldn't be treated as a recreational activity.


    Nah, that would never work.
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
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    Arghbowl is DTF on 12/23/13 at 1535.

    Come n get it ladies.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    Arghbowl is DTF on 12/23/13 at 1535.

    Come n get it ladies.

    Dibs
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
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    Arghbowl is DTF on 12/23/13 at 1535.

    Come n get it ladies.

    Dibs

    Meet you in the back of your uncles Pinto?
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    Arghbowl is DTF on 12/23/13 at 1535.

    Come n get it ladies.

    Dibs

    Meet you in the back of your uncles Pinto?

    El Camino, jacka$$
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
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    Arghbowl is DTF on 12/23/13 at 1535.

    Come n get it ladies.

    Dibs

    Meet you in the back of your uncles Pinto?

    El Camino, jacka$$

    More drugs fit in the Pinto though. Does it have hydraulics? I'd hate to break his drug running mobile.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,662 Member
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    Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

    but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

    i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

    I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
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    Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

    but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

    i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

    I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

    Truth. I've been lady raped.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

    but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

    i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

    I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

    I happen to enjoy consensual drunk sex...

    But yes, the concept of "consent" when drunk I guess is hard to define, but no all of the blame and responsibility should no reside only with the man. Again it comes back to realizing that women are people and men are people. Men are NOT evil sex-driven beasts. Women are not stupid, slutty objects to be used only for sex. PEOPLE should be taught not to reach the point of intoxication where they can not make at least half way responsible decisions. They should be taught to respect other PEOPLE.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,662 Member
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    lol, i've regretteed sexual encounter BEFORE they happend, but followed through so as not to hurt feelings.


    EDIT: did not necessairly produce the desired effect
  • BossLadyDSimp
    BossLadyDSimp Posts: 257 Member
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    Legally speaking ... this is dumb ...

    50540473.png
  • Love4fitnesslove4food2
    Love4fitnesslove4food2 Posts: 711 Member
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    Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

    but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

    THIS! Took the words right out of my mouth.
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 304 Member
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    Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

    but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?
    [/quote]

    ****

    My point is not that the male should always be the one in control of or responsible for everything. It's that getting a text message from a girl (or guy, for that matter) saying that she/he consents to sex does not necessarily prove consent or protect from rape charges after the fact. I just think this article proposes a ridiculous "fail-safe" that is not at all logical or even sane.

    I do think that girls should know how to take care of themselves and not get so drunk that they can't give or deny consent. But with all of today's date-rape drugs, etc, unfortunately it's not always as simple as that. (Again, that goes for men or women giving consent). As much as I don't think men should sleep with obviously intoxicated women, I don't think that women should sleep with obviously intoxicated men. There should be more of a discussion between parents and their children other than "be sure to get consent via text for proof."

    *edited to try to fix the quote blocks... fail...
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    this is why i video all my sexual encounters from start to finish.


    yeeeah.... that's the reason.
  • Love4fitnesslove4food2
    Love4fitnesslove4food2 Posts: 711 Member
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    Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

    but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

    ****

    My point is not that the male should always be the one in control of or responsible for everything. It's that getting a text message from a girl (or guy, for that matter) saying that she/he consents to sex does not necessarily prove consent or protect from rape charges after the fact. I just think this article proposes a ridiculous "fail-safe" that is not at all logical or even sane.

    I do think that girls should know how to take care of themselves and not get so drunk that they can't give or deny consent. But with all of today's date-rape drugs, etc, unfortunately it's not always as simple as that. (Again, that goes for men or women giving consent). As much as I don't think men should sleep with obviously intoxicated women, I don't think that women should sleep with obviously intoxicated men. There should be more of a discussion between parents and their children other than "be sure to get consent via text for proof."

    *edited to try to fix the quote blocks... fail...
    [/quote]

    To be fair...nothing is going immunize you from rape charges if someone decides to allege that sex (consensual or not) was rape. All you can do in that situation is hope that the credibility of the parties reflects the truth of the matter and justice is ultimately served. The idea behind the mom's suggestion is absolutely understandable given the sexual climate of college.
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 304 Member
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    ^I agree that nothing will immunize someone from a rape charge if their "partner" really wants to press charges. But that's why suggesting that a consenting text will provide any protection at all is just dumb and bad advice - and also potentially dangerous for her son!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    My advice to my sons:
    "Know someone well before you bump uglies."
    and
    "If you get arrested, use your one phone call to let me know where you'll be staying."

    I'm mean like that.
  • HungryasFuark
    HungryasFuark Posts: 463 Member
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    Says the woman in the media business haha

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