Mom's advice to son... Seriously?

stumblinthrulife

My advice to my sons:
"Know someone well before you bump uglies."
and
"If you get arrested, use your one phone call to let me know where you'll be staying."

I'm mean like that.

My dear old mum used to tell me if I ever got in trouble with the police I'd be begging to be taken to jail by the time she was through with me!

DamePiglet

My advice to my sons:
"Know someone well before you bump uglies."
and
"If you get arrested, use your one phone call to let me know where you'll be staying."

I'm mean like that.

My dear old mum used to tell me if I ever got in trouble with the police I'd be begging to be taken to jail by the time she was through with me!

Well, your mum & I have a few things in common! I'm dear, old AND I feel the same way.
Oddly enough, it seems that we also have sons who are capable of thought. hmmmm...

RonnieLodge

Oh gawd, so much of that woman's opinion is just infuriating.

"Parents need to step up. I'm doing my part, raising a son to respect women and himself ......... If she's falling down drunk, stay away, far away."

Surely part of respecting women would be if a girl is falling down drunk, he (and others) HELP her by making sure she gets home safe.

When I have been in the company of guys from the USA (and as it happens, falling down drunk) I have always found them to be AWESOME. They made sure I got home safe when I was somewhere unfamiliar.

just_Jennie1

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

Because a woman who is mildly intoxicated and knows what she is consenting to can then have the day after regret. Even though she consented she can turn around and say it wasn't consensual, that she was intoxicated and he raped her. It then becomes a "he said she said" situation and who do you think they're going to believe?

kateanne27

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

Because a woman who is mildly intoxicated and knows what she is consenting to can then have the day after regret. Even though she consented she can turn around and say it wasn't consensual, that she was intoxicated and he raped her. It then becomes a "he said she said" situation and who do you think they're going to believe?

Him, of course. The media isn't subtle about their bias, neither is law enforcement, most campus officials, or public opinion.

briandahawaiian

There's mancode....and there is also momcode.


I'm surprised that you actually think this is the first time this has been said?

I'm very sure this is not the first time it's been said. I'm just very disappointed to see it posted on CNN's website.

Like I said, I'm sure she has discussed this with her son and raised him with the proper values. But putting that online could wrongly make many people think that they can do whatever they want as long as they get a text "proving" consent.

I agree, I can't believe this is actually news isn't there something more important to cover?

just_Jennie1

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

Because a woman who is mildly intoxicated and knows what she is consenting to can then have the day after regret. Even though she consented she can turn around and say it wasn't consensual, that she was intoxicated and he raped her. It then becomes a "he said she said" situation and who do you think they're going to believe?

Him, of course. The media isn't subtle about their bias, neither is law enforcement, most campus officials, or public opinion.

That was my point.

HeKTiKKBraH

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

just_Jennie1

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

Why is a dirty sloot considered a dumb girl? So what if someone has multiple of sex partners? The amount of sexual partners a person has is not equal to their intelligence.

SamanthaD1218

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

Not what the mother was telling him at all, actually. Basically she told him if he was going to hook up with a drinking/drunk girl, to get consent via text first so that he can't be charged with rape later. Read the article first - nothing to do with "sloots" or "respectable girls."

HeKTiKKBraH

Not what the mother was telling him at all, actually. Basically she told him if he was going to hook up with a drinking/drunk girl, to get consent via text first so that he can't be charged with rape later. Read the article first - nothing to do with "sloots" or "respectable girls."

Ahh okay didn't read that far ahead, disregard my post then (:

DamePiglet

Not what the mother was telling him at all, actually. Basically she told him if he was going to hook up with a drinking/drunk girl, to get consent via text first so that he can't be charged with rape later. Read the article first - nothing to do with "sloots" or "respectable girls."

Ahh okay didn't read that far ahead, disregard my post then (:

And all other times you post.

Myhaloslipped

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

Women can't handle alcohol.........FACT. When Men drink they can read minds, but cannot predict the future

Haha you haven't met my college roommate from Ireland, apparently! :laugh:

wewon

I wonder what the tone of the thread would be if it was a father giving stigmatizing advice to his daughter?

Would there be nearly as much indignation and talk of how he should teach her to "respect first and protect herself second"?

QuietBloom

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

Sloot shaming offends me.

helpfit101

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

Not what the mother was telling him at all, actually. Basically she told him if he was going to hook up with a drinking/drunk girl, to get consent via text first so that he can't be charged with rape later. Read the article first - nothing to do with "sloots" or "respectable girls."

Maybe his mom is a lawyer. Sounds like good advice. Not sure how practical though.

SamanthaD1218

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

Not what the mother was telling him at all, actually. Basically she told him if he was going to hook up with a drinking/drunk girl, to get consent via text first so that he can't be charged with rape later. Read the article first - nothing to do with "sloots" or "respectable girls."

Maybe his mom is a lawyer. Sounds like good advice. Not sure how practical though.

If she was a lawyer she would know that a consenting text is not equivalent to consent in the moment. Even if a girl DOES consent in the moment and then claims "rape" later, the aforementioned text will not protect the son (even if he really was in the right). It's just bad advice all around - I do understand the sentiment, but it scares me that perfectly respectful young men could read the article and think that a text protects them 100%, when a girl can still cry rape if copious amounts of alcohol were involved. Even scarier, a would-be rapist could read it and assume that if he has the consenting text he can do whatever he pleases. I just think it's terrible advice and skirts the real issue.

dbmata

This mom is telling her college-aged son to have a girl text him that she is willing to sleep with him before he sleeps with her, supposedly to protect him from getting accused of rape if they have both been drinking.

That's a good idea. In today's liability fraught times, you must protect yourself at all times.

She should also tell him to lick it, before he sticks it.

dbmata

Then again, if it were my son.

I'd tell him to have her sign a contract, and then put it on video, so there is complete evidence.

MM_1982

The mother is just looking out for her son. I think it's a great idea.