Embarrassing your trainer...what do you think?

jazzygurl81

I started working with a trainer around this summer, and with her help I lost 30 lbs. And it's been a struggle every single day, trying to overcome emotional/stress eating. In the last month or so, I admit to letting life get in the way of my weight loss journey - stress, a relationship going bad, business travel, anxiety regarding an upcoming surgery, and, of course, the holidays - and completely fell off the wagon. I've continued working out, but my eating habits went completely awry, resulting in me putting back on half of what I lost.


I went to the gym today, and after my training session, was telling my trainer that I feel like I'll be in a better place to get back on track for New Years, and wanted her advice on a cleanse that I can do to start off. The training manager happened to come over and joined in our conversation. And I got scolded...he told me that by me not doing what I should have been doing all this time, that I was making the trainer look bad. He said it several times...that I was making her look bad, because people see that I work with her, and if I'm not putting in 100% as her client, then it reflects negatively on the trainer.


On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract.


I dunno...what do you all think about this?

FFfitgirl

So I don't judge people working out. I see people bigger and smaller then me working out. I don't know if they have lost 10-100 pounds or gained 10 last month. All that matters is you are there trying your hardest

Edited to add:
I would be very p.o. That he said that.

meshashesha2012

wow i would have given him a huge tongue lashing but that's just me. i dont deal well with being scolded like i'm a child even when i was a child i had a huge problem with it and sassed back, so as an adult i for darn sure will not let someone talk to me like that. especially someone that i pay for a service!

if she thinks you make her look bad then she can always not take your money, but if she did then that's stupid. she's a PT not a life coach. she's there to get you fit not police your food and nutrition.

personally i would go back and give the rude PT a reminder to either mind his own damn business or come to my house free of charge and cook all my meals. if not the latter then he needs to drink a huge cup of STFU

jillmarie125

Wow!! What did your trainer say when he said that to you? I think he was way out of line for saying it. While I do not know if your trainer feels it reflects on poorly on her, I dont think she should feel that way. We are all adults and make our own decisions. People know that.

I have been with my trainer for 10 months now. I have lost maybe 15 pounds and 2 jeans sizes. Could it have been more...sure. I know where I went wrong. But I also have gained so much strength while working with him. I am a different and better person. I have more confidence too. I enjoy the workouts we do. And guess what! Its my money!!! So if people felt that I wasted money because in 10 months I only lost 15 pounds and I reflect badly on the trainer...screw them! Ok- I am getting mad now.

Now- should you quit?? Well that all depends on what the trainer said about a "cleanse." If her answer was healthy eating and lots of water...stay with her. If she suggested anything else...find a new trainer.

I guess I am lucky...my gym sucks. They actually prefer the PT clients to stay the way they are and keep spending money. Such a lovely world we live in.

seidel1325

I think after getting over the initial shock of being called to task, I would've realized that there may have been some truth in what he said.

I've trained with several different trainers over the years - some good and some bad. The best ones I've had are the ones who show up with a plan and ready to work. That being said, you are the other part of the equation to make the training relationship work. It sounds like you were doing your part, putting in the work, being accountable and getting results. From what you've posted, it appears you did let yourself down and (unintentionally) your trainer. Get back on the horse and try not to hold on to the anger! Most of all, best of luck.

GeminiBridget

Don't get discouraged by that *kitten* comment! That trainer manager seemed to forget that They work for YOU. You are paying them for a service, regardless of your input to that service. Their job is to encourage you to do better, not discourage you when you fall off. Shame on them. My advice: Get another trainer who will help encourage you, even through the tough times.

MaryJane_8810002

I am sorry but I think that training manager is a total d-bag. It matters about how YOU look and feel. She can't be that embarrassed since she is cashing your checks. I would void your contract because they should not make you feel this way, it is YOUR journey not theirs.

To be honest though you should avoid cleanses and try not to let personal conflicts hinder your goals.

kiannlouise

The words didn't come directly from your personal trainer. If you have a good relationship I wouldn't even worry about what the other trainer came over and said to you! Of course it's your decision whether you go back to that gym- you want to feel comfortable. If you're not happy then definitely leave. You want to look forward to your training sessions good luck & don't let those comments set you back! Keep going so you make him look bad for saying what he did

jazzygurl81

The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:

http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx

LoveMyLife_NYC

WOW! He was completely out of line! Who's HIS manager? You need to talk to them!

You hired your trainer to be your ally and to help you with your struggles as they arise. They are there to help you be physically and emotionally stronger, and to answer fitness and nutritional questions as they come up. Life has ups and downs, and a great trainer can give you suggestions for dealing with struggles as they come up. The gym should be a place where you go to relieve stress without having someone judge you. It should NOT be a source of your stress.

I remember when I injured my chest really badly... the doctors actually tested to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. I told my trainer, and instead of letting me take weeks off to heal, he worked with me to lighten my workouts and find things that I could still do. He asked me several times a week how I was feeling, and gave me a lot of exercises and stretches that would help to improve my situation. What did your trainer say?

jillmarie125

The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:

http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx

please dont. i did it twice. big mistakes. you can get the same results by proper eating and lots of water. really. i was so afraid she was going to try to sell you advocare. ugh!!!

randomtai

I stopped reading at "cleanse". Just no. :noway:

jazzygurl81

When the training manager finally walked away, I was completely embarrassed. I did ask my trainer her thoughts...that if my actions have embarrassed her or hurt her in any way. She said no, that she's very proud of the progress that I've made so far, but she's concerned because I don't believe it, and end up taking several steps backward. She says she can see the change in me, and agrees that bad eating habits are hard to change, but that she can see that I can do it and the problem is in my head.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Right, because progress is linear.

That guy was was a douche and I'd find out who his manager is. You know what reflects poorly on trainers? When their clients stop showing up.

ETA: I would get a new trainer who isn't talking to you about cleanses.

LoveMyLife_NYC

Right, because progress is linear.

That guy was was a douche and I'd find out who his manager is. You know what reflects poorly on trainers? When their clients stop showing up.

ETA: I would get a new trainer who isn't talking to you about cleanses.

^^Awesome answer.

PinkNinjaLaura

When the training manager finally walked away, I was completely embarrassed. I did ask my trainer her thoughts...that if my actions have embarrassed her or hurt her in any way. She said no, that she's very proud of the progress that I've made so far, but she's concerned because I don't believe it, and end up taking several steps backward. She says she can see the change in me, and agrees that bad eating habits are hard to change, but that she can see that I can do it and the problem is in my head.

Sounds like your trainer is cool. I'm sure she was embarrassed by his comments (at least I would have been!). Stick with her, and ignore him.

BinaryPulsar

wow i would have given him a huge tongue lashing but that's just me. i dont deal well with being scolded like i'm a child even when i was a child i had a huge problem with it and sassed back, so as an adult i for darn sure will not let someone talk to me like that. especially someone that i pay for a service!

if she thinks you make her look bad then she can always not take your money, but if she did then that's stupid. she's a PT not a life coach. she's there to get you fit not police your food and nutrition.

personally i would go back and give the rude PT a reminder to either mind his own damn business or come to my house free of charge and cook all my meals. if not the latter then he needs to drink a huge cup of STFU

Yes, these would be my points. You are paying for the service. You are not responsible for "making the trainer look good". You are paying them. They are not paying you to be a walking advertisement or spokesperson for the trainer. Wow! :noway:

And you are paying the trainer to help you workout, not to police your food. I would not want a trainer policing my food.

That manager was out of line!!!

Mr_Knight

...and wanted her advice on a cleanse that I can do to start off.

After reading that, I don't even care what happened next in the story - I'm siding with the trainer/manager.

randomtai

...and wanted her advice on a cleanse that I can do to start off.

After reading that, I don't even care what happened next in the story - I'm siding with your trainer.

I like you :flowerforyou:

Loves418

Complain to HIS boss get more free time with trainer because of it...I would be calling everyone above him right after he spoke like that. He has no right none zero..want me to call and complain for you???

BinaryPulsar

...and wanted her advice on a cleanse that I can do to start off.

After reading that, I don't even care what happened next in the story - I'm siding with your trainer.

I like you :flowerforyou:

I don't agree with cleanses either, but that was actually just a side track that had nothing to do with what happened. And it wasn't the trainer that said what was said, it was the training manager and it was not about the cleanse. It was about her lack of weight loss reflecting badly on the trainer.