Embarrassing your trainer...what do you think?
Replies
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The training manager is a douche.
Your trainer is a douche for recommending a "cleanse".
You shouldn't quit your work. What I don't think you should do is tell your trainer to stand up to you. The last thing a manager wants is for his/her employee to embarrass the manager in front of a customer unless she wants to get fired or disciplined. You should however just find a new gym if going to the current one makes you uncomfortable. This might be exactly what the training manager wants because I highly doubt the gym needs your money, and that's the truth.
EDIT: Don't do a "cleanse" they DON'T DO ANYTHING except give you a very large an unhealthy caloric deficit.0 -
Well, first, I just wanted to say - good for you for returning to the gym, doing so is progress. I highly encourage you to keep continue working out (at a different gym because I think the way you were talked to and the advice you received were lame) and making right food choices. Good Luck!0
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OP *asked* for a cleanse.wait, OP. your trainer recommended a cleanse? :huh:
To the rest of the Literal Police, good grief. The OP bailed on her plan and is looking for cleanses - whatever else is going on, the OP is already on a bad path, regardless of what the trainer or the trainer's manager may or may not have subsequently said.
THAT is the key point here. Without changes there, it simply doesn't matter what anybody else does.
She continued to go to the gym, despite not having her diet as tuned in as it should have been, that's not bailing on her plan, that is life -- she was not on a "bad pat"h, she's been on a path most people have been on at some point. She also maybe doesn't know that cleanses aren't helpful -- which is why her trainer should have been like "YOU DON'T NEED THAT" not "Advocare".0 -
I agree everyone, the training manager was totally out of line. If anything, you're there, you're training and you're losing weight. People notice that, regardless of how long there was in between training sessions.
As for the cleanse, don't do it. Water and eating right does the same thing without being so hard on your body. And yes, I feel that a cleanse is a waste of money and hard on your body.0 -
Honestly, I'm not sure why we're having a conversation about what the man next to the man next to the GD man said. Your trainer didn't say a word to you about it so why do you think it reflects his/her feelings?
That said, you are a walking, talking billboard for your trainer and you're success or lack of success reflects on them. Doesn't have to be a concern of yours but it is true just the same.
And, since it seems to have affected you, perhaps the desired effect was to light a fire under your *kitten* to get back to work. Some real work, and not some BS cleanse garbage. Different people respond to different things, and it's possible you care about your trainer's feelings more than your own in your current mental state. If playing on that gets you back on track, well, being on track is what the money is for.
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This whole ordeal is between you and your trainer - not the other people at the gym, and not managers to sit back and judge.
I work as a counsellor in addictions. MANY of my clients are not "successful", but fall off the wagon. One thing I tell myself, and other counsellors say is that we can not take credit for client success or client failures either. That is 100% on the client and the decision they make outside of the office.
Really, your trainer should just meet you where you are at and work with you and what IS getting in the way instead of dwindling on the mistakes.
Now, about your question - is this coming from your trainer (was she agreeing and backing up the manager), or the manager? If it was the manager, i would talk to your trainer about the incident and share your thoughts and feelings about it. If it was your trainer - I would consider finding a new gym.0 -
If all of the clients of a trainer are unsuccessful that would indeed reflect badly on the trainer. I would then wonder about the trainer. But, it's normal for there to be variation in client goals and adherence. I don't expect trainers to be miracle workers.0
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As a trainer, the manager was out of line. And if it were, me I would have told him so in front of my client. What a ****.
While many people may view results as the evidence of a good trainer, that's not always the best measuring stick. A good trainer will give correct information and inspiration to every client. They look for improvement, not just perfect results. If results were all that counted, then chances are that that trainer is hand picking the people they want to work with and not really helping those who really need great assistance.
Last, if your trainer is telling you to cleanse, they really aren't that knowledgeable of a trainer. They are following BS protocol that's echoed by many fitness industry trainers who really have no knowledge of actual physiology and how the body works.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
\The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:
http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx
get a new trainer..
any trainer recommending a cleanse is bunk…
Your body naturally cleanses itself..its called pooping and peeing…
Eat in a calorie deficit, work out, stay on track, and you will lose..
You have already identified the reasons as to why you are not succeeding, now you just need to remove the bad habits that you have identified…
Does your trainer have you lifting heavy weights, or do they always have you on "machines", doing circuits, and or lifting light weights…..if the answer is the later then again, get a new trainer...0 -
Cleanse = stupid idea. Like where do people get this crazy idea of doing a cleanse ? To much listening to **** on the internet I think. Like just eat well and maintain your calorie deficit and get some exercise. You will be just fine if you do that.
Re the trainer .... I think you are fine with your current trainer, but I agree you did mess up. But guess what .. not the end of the world. Get to it ... and get going again and make a better effort to reach your goals. Excuses are for weak people, so no more need for those.0 -
The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:
http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx
By suggesting a cleanse, your trainer did a really good job of making herself look bad on her own.
Time for a new gym and a new trainer.0 -
Personally, my opinion is that you should find a new place to invest in your life. Your trainer is working for someone that bases her performance on your rate of success rather than your level of motivation and excitement about losing weight and being healthier.
A trainer is not a keeper. They should be inspiring you and working with you to be the best you possible.
I'd ask for my money back for the reminder of your contract and go somewhere else where you can find the inspiration you need without the added pressure of keeping your trainer in a job because her manager is a douchecanoe.
Look for gyms offering a free month and try them all out until you find somewhere you feel comfortable.
And don't do the cleanse. Just keep eating well and drink a lot of water. You can do this!0 -
Your trainer's boss is a jerk. How horribly rude. Do not listen to anything that mean person says. Don't worry about it, and keep trying every day. I agree with other posters that the cleanse is probably a bad idea.
Healthy living is a marathon, not a sprint. Who cares someone can lose 30 pounds in 3 weeks if they gain it all back in the following 3 weeks? The goal is to reach and maintain a healthy weight, and to feel happy in your body. We all stumble on our journey (I know I do, a lot, lol). The trick is to get back up, and keep working on the new healthy you day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. Good luck and Happy New Year. Don't give up. We are here for you
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Okay, let me see if I got this straight. You shouldn't ask your trainer for diet input because that's not a trainer's specialty. You go to a trainer for physical training so you should ignore whatever they say about diet. But if they recommend a cleanse then you should drop them regardless of how good they are at training because they obviously don't know anything about proper nutrition even though you're not supposed to take their nutrition advice anyway.
Having a trainer seems complicated.0 -
The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:
http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx
1) the manager was out of order and I would have told him to eff off
2) if the trainer suggested a cleanse I would also tell them to eff off.
they are both idiots.0 -
What was said was totally unprofessional. It should never have been said. Your health is more important than your trainer's reputation. Anyone coming into the gym would not know if you lost or gained. And it is nobody's business! I would speak to the trainer, but I might find another gym that did not have rude managers. You pay them to help you regardless of their reputation! I would be taking my money elsewhere.0
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I don't agree w/ the training manager's approach, but I do understand where they are coming from. The client's success IS the trainer's success. Many people choose their trainer usually by word of mouth because they have seen successful clients. If the OP is telling people that "__________" is her trainer and they see she hasn't lost much weight, their first thought would be that the trainer is not very good, not that the OP is not following the plan.
With that being said, it was very wise of you to discontinue the sessions until you're in the right mindset. I personally, would speak to the manager one-on-one and tell them how upset I was at the tongue-lashing, then move on to another gym or trainer, or just consult w/ a nutrionist.0 -
I would have just walked out period. No one should ever treat you that way.0
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The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:
http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx
1) the manager was out of order and I would have told him to eff off
2) if the trainer suggested a cleanse I would also tell them to eff off.
they are both idiots.
^ perfectly chosen words in the perfect word order.0 -
I started working with a trainer around this summer, and with her help I lost 30 lbs. And it's been a struggle every single day, trying to overcome emotional/stress eating. In the last month or so, I admit to letting life get in the way of my weight loss journey - stress, a relationship going bad, business travel, anxiety regarding an upcoming surgery, and, of course, the holidays - and completely fell off the wagon. I've continued working out, but my eating habits went completely awry, resulting in me putting back on half of what I lost.
I went to the gym today, and after my training session, was telling my trainer that I feel like I'll be in a better place to get back on track for New Years, and wanted her advice on a cleanse that I can do to start off. The training manager happened to come over and joined in our conversation. And I got scolded...he told me that by me not doing what I should have been doing all this time, that I was making the trainer look bad. He said it several times...that I was making her look bad, because people see that I work with her, and if I'm not putting in 100% as her client, then it reflects negatively on the trainer.
On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract.
I dunno...what do you all think about this?
The trainers job is to help you, not the other way around. You aren't being paid or contracted to make her look good, she is being paid to teach you about fitness and help you reach your goals to the best of her ability... with the understanding that once you leave the gym, the rest is up to you. The manager sounds like an ***. I'd like to think the other patrons are 1.) smart enough to realize that a trainer isn't a wizard who succeeds or fails at making somebody thin and 2.) are focusing on their own goals and workouts and not keeping track of the weight loss/gain of other patrons i.e. YOU. If I were in your shoes, I would have felt humiliated and my self-esteem would have taken quite the beating. He has no idea what is going on in your life. Does he think that you aren't aware that you fell off the wagon? You're being honest with your trainer about your home habits and I don't see why he even involved himself. What a jerk!
I vote that you keep going. What was the point of all the work you put in just to quit? If you feel that uncomfortable about going back, look into other gyms in your area... and maybe write a letter to the manager explaining why you changed. I would anyway. I actually feel angry right now. :explode:0 -
The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:
http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx
1) the manager was out of order and I would have told him to eff off
2) if the trainer suggested a cleanse I would also tell them to eff off.
they are both idiots.
^ perfectly chosen words in the perfect word order.
This.
You DON'T need a cleanse. Don't do that.
You don't *need* a trainer, but if you like having one, go get a different one, right after you tell the trainer's boss that his extreme unprofessionalism is the reason you are leaving.0 -
Everyone else here is wrong.
The training manager is NOT a d-bag. The training manager is not an a-hole.
The training manager was finding a different way to motivate OP. If the OP won't do it for OP's sake, then maybe the OP will do it for trainer's sake. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOMEONE.
Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.
Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?
No? Really? How sad.
I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.0 -
Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.
in addition to reading peoples minds, can you also predict the winning lottery numbers for me?0 -
Sounds like he was maybe trying to motivate you through guilt. However since you are PAYING for a service I think this was more rude of him than helpful.0
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wow i would have given him a huge tongue lashing but that's just me. i dont deal well with being scolded like i'm a child even when i was a child i had a huge problem with it and sassed back, so as an adult i for darn sure will not let someone talk to me like that. especially someone that i pay for a service!
if she thinks you make her look bad then she can always not take your money, but if she did then that's stupid. she's a PT not a life coach. she's there to get you fit not police your food and nutrition.
personally i would go back and give the rude PT a reminder to either mind his own damn business or come to my house free of charge and cook all my meals. if not the latter then he needs to drink a huge cup of STFU
lol ur right. the manager is unprofessional. u should write a letter and complain to the corporate headquarters about this manager. u paid for a service and u should not be treated like crap.0 -
I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.
I'll own the raspberry you send my way. My losing weight and being in better shape has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else in any way whatsoever. You may be motivated by humiliation and guilt, but not everyone is. I think it's skeevy for people to embarrass other people into doing something to make them feel better about themselves. Sorry, but I just can't agree with this bullying approach.0 -
Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?
No? Really? How sad.
First of all OP is the boss, not the trainer.
A person's body is different than a test or work station. You don't owe anyone, anything when it comes to your person. You have to want it for you or it NEVER works.
Also, not being a kiss *kitten* isn't sad.0 -
Everyone else here is wrong.
The training manager is NOT a d-bag. The training manager is not an a-hole.
The training manager was finding a different way to motivate OP. If the OP won't do it for OP's sake, then maybe the OP will do it for trainer's sake. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOMEONE.
Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.
Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?
No? Really? How sad.
I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.
lol....how on earth would you know? Is the manager a psychologist now? Sounds like it didn't motivate much even if it was his intention...so he is pretty crap at his job either way you look at it.
Also...everyone else here is wrong? What are the odds?0 -
I'd find a different gym and let the trainer manager know that I'm not interested in taking on any big responsibilities to anyone else regarding my fitness.
It was clearly hard for you just being responsible to yourself and to your trainer; adding being responsible FOR your trainer gets a bit much. No thanks.
I mean, the manager can think it and all, but putting it to you was kind of dumb. Chances are you'll resent it too much, and it'll be very hard to walk in that door. Somehow I don't think that's what you needed right then.0 -
what?! This just sounds like a mess all the way around. The manager sounds like a jerk, I wouldn't go to any trainer who recommends a cleanse, and the OP looking for a quick fix rather than doing the necessary work....0
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