Embarrassing your trainer...what do you think?
Replies
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Definitely find the manager of the manager and complain. It's super-important to have a trainer that is the right fit for you - and it sounds like you're happy with yours. Aside from the cleanse, sounds good to me.
That said, as you can see from some of the comments, there are people who want a different kind of trainer. I remember a co-worker in tears b/c her trainer had dropped her for not following the trainer's very low-cal/low-carb diet. The trainer's rationale was that she only wanted clients willing to fully commit. o.O
You either got lucky or were smart enough to make sure your trainer does what you want. Now follow through & make sure management understands this too. Wouldn't hurt to let your trainer know that more incidents of that kind will have you looking at other options (just in case she's playing good cop).
Having a PT is like doing BDSM without the pesky leather bills: Lots of ways to play, just negotiate up front to ensure everyone's on the same page ;-)0 -
Everyone else here is wrong.
Nope. Pretty sure that you're wrong.
Thanks for playing.0 -
Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?
No? Really? How sad.
First of all OP is the boss, not the trainer.
A person's body is different than a test or work station. You don't owe anyone, anything when it comes to your person. You have to want it for you or it NEVER works.
Also, not being a kiss *kitten* isn't sad.
^^^This
I can't relate to the concept of suddenly becoming motivated in something as personal as fitness because a manager yelled at me that I was reflecting badly on the trainer. No, I can't relate to that. I've always kept fit for myself or for my dancing. I'm not motivated by guilt trips.0 -
Everyone else here is wrong.
The training manager is NOT a d-bag. The training manager is not an a-hole.
The training manager was finding a different way to motivate OP. If the OP won't do it for OP's sake, then maybe the OP will do it for trainer's sake. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOMEONE.
Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.
Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?
No? Really? How sad.
I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.
i bet you're one of those people who give great reviews on restaurants at yelp because the people were nice even though the food is disgusting and it made you sick.0 -
That sounds terrible and would make me want to find a different gym! You are paying for their services - so they can feel confident in that you will continue to pay them to get your results! You are an adult and nobody should scold you as if you are a child. You know that not following your diet plan was going to not produce the best results but hey at least you were still working out. Until now they made that an uncomfortable for you as well.0
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If you quit the gym, it will be just another reason (or excuse) to add to the list...stress, travel, relationship, a gym employee was mean to me, etc..
If you don't like the way this person spoke to you, you should seek him or her out and talk to them about it. Running away won't solve anything.0 -
i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.0 -
i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
For what it's worth, I think some people are motivated by the type of attitude the manager took with OP -- but my guess is those people are in the minority. That's why we're not all football playing marines, no? That's also why people here are calling the dude out. People looking for a tough love, *kitten* kicker trainer hire that person - not hope a stranger will be that way to them for motivation. Football/military - those are things you sign up for, not that randomly happen to you one day.
OP had no established relationship with the manager -- so while his aim MIGHT have been tough love, it was definitely misguided. With no established relationship with the OP, he just comes off as rude. Most people don't want to be being called out by some dude that don't know -- especially in a way that is based on guilt. OP is trying. It wasn't like she quit the gym and came back -- she kept up with her workouts -- she lacked in the diet department. That is basically life, sometimes you aren't on your A game, but you're not a loser so long as you don't give up and keep showing up. OP didn't give up.
Dude shouldn't have approached a client that wasn't his, unless the trainer asked for an intervention. It totally undermines the trainer's authority and alienates the client.0 -
Everyone else here is wrong.
The training manager is NOT a d-bag. The training manager is not an a-hole.
The training manager was finding a different way to motivate OP. If the OP won't do it for OP's sake, then maybe the OP will do it for trainer's sake. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOMEONE.
Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.
Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?
No? Really? How sad.
I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.
WTG training manager. Not only is OP considering discontinuing her training contract, she's considering leaving the gym altogether. Good work! :flowerforyou:
OP, celebrities get paid big bucks to endorse a product instead of the other way around for a reason.
Your trainer said the right thing to you in response, though I don't know what the Advocare cleanse is so no comment on that.0 -
i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
Great job of motivating he did. In the words of the OP
"On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract."
Maybe the manager should leave the pop psychology to those better at it. All it seemed to do is motivate her to make this thread.0 -
I assume you are paying for this trainer. If so, I would take my money and find myself a new trainer. *kitten* happens, I would want someone encouraging me not to give up because of a set back, not someone telling me that I am making them look bad. They should be doing their job and not giving up on you!0
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i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
Great job of motivating he did. In the words of the OP
"On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract."
Maybe the manager should leave the pop psychology to those better at it. All it seemed to do is motivate her to make this thread.
Pretty motivational then. Usually it takes imagined sabotage or imagined infidelity to motivate someone to make a thread here.0 -
i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
Great job of motivating he did. In the words of the OP
"On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract."
Maybe the manager should leave the pop psychology to those better at it. All it seemed to do is motivate her to make this thread.
Pretty motivational then. Usually it takes imagined sabotage or imagined infidelity to motivate someone to make a thread here.
True story. So in keeping with that.
Just Break Up!0 -
What a moron! You are not unlike any other client the trainer is working with. Perhaps he should have been more encouraging instead of worrying about his $$$! What a moron! Maybe you should find another trainer and take your business elsewhere.0
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i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
Great job of motivating he did. In the words of the OP
"On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract."
Maybe the manager should leave the pop psychology to those better at it. All it seemed to do is motivate her to make this thread.
i never said it was a great idea, nor did i say it was the correct idea. i also didn't say it would be my way. just that in some cases it can work. one doesn't know what will work and what doesn't till one tries. since i wasn't there, i'm not privy to any interaction the manager had either with the OP, OR with the the OP's trainer, who may or may not have had conversations about the OP with the manager. That's part of the job description of the manager, after all.
also, i think this is good time to point out that the OP has not, in fact, cancelled her contract or ceased going to the gym. talking about doing something isn't the same as doing something. part of lighting a fire under someone's *kitten* is motivating them to make a choice, and sometimes that choice isn't the desired outcome. but either way, you make them decide to do something besides sit there like a lump. for all i know after a weekend spent moping about the comment, then getting enraged about the comment, she might go back in there, tell the manager to go screw off and never speak to her again, but then get focused on her health and lose the weight again.
what i'm saying is that this story hasn't ended. just because you pissed someone off doesn't mean they aren't still on board with the plan. (although i fully acknowledge that her reading both my post and this thread in general will change the trajectory it would have otherwise had)0 -
Everyone else here is wrong.
The training manager is NOT a d-bag. The training manager is not an a-hole.
The training manager was finding a different way to motivate OP. If the OP won't do it for OP's sake, then maybe the OP will do it for trainer's sake. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOMEONE.
Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.
Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?
No? Really? How sad.
I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.
LOL0 -
i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
For what it's worth, I think some people are motivated by the type of attitude the manager took with OP -- but my guess is those people are in the minority. That's why we're not all football playing marines, no? That's also why people here are calling the dude out. People looking for a tough love, *kitten* kicker trainer hire that person - not hope a stranger will be that way to them for motivation. Football/military - those are things you sign up for, not that randomly happen to you one day.
OP had no established relationship with the manager -- so while his aim MIGHT have been tough love, it was definitely misguided. With no established relationship with the OP, he just comes off as rude. Most people don't want to be being called out by some dude that don't know -- especially in a way that is based on guilt. OP is trying. It wasn't like she quit the gym and came back -- she kept up with her workouts -- she lacked in the diet department. That is basically life, sometimes you aren't on your A game, but you're not a loser so long as you don't give up and keep showing up. OP didn't give up.
Dude shouldn't have approached a client that wasn't his, unless the trainer asked for an intervention. It totally undermines the trainer's authority and alienates the client.
and how do you know that the trainer didn't ask for an intervention? and just because i used football and military service in my analogy doesn't mean that he manager was screaming at the OP thru a megaphone and trying intentionally to make her cry.
this thread has all the makings of every one sided relationship thread on this site. i've heard one person tell one version of a story and i'm assuming there are other sides and shadings to it. you know, because in the real world random strangers don't just walk up to long time paying customers and say insulting things out of the blue.0 -
i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
Great job of motivating he did. In the words of the OP
"On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract."
Maybe the manager should leave the pop psychology to those better at it. All it seemed to do is motivate her to make this thread.
i never said it was a great idea, nor did i say it was the correct idea. i also didn't say it would be my way. just that in some cases it can work. one doesn't know what will work and what doesn't till one tries. since i wasn't there, i'm not privy to any interaction the manager had either with the OP, OR with the the OP's trainer, who may or may not have had conversations about the OP with the manager. That's part of the job description of the manager, after all.
also, i think this is good time to point out that the OP has not, in fact, cancelled her contract or ceased going to the gym. talking about doing something isn't the same as doing something. part of lighting a fire under someone's *kitten* is motivating them to make a choice, and sometimes that choice isn't the desired outcome. but either way, you make them decide to do something besides sit there like a lump. for all i know after a weekend spent moping about the comment, then getting enraged about the comment, she might go back in there, tell the manager to go screw off and never speak to her again, but then get focused on her health and lose the weight again.
what i'm saying is that this story hasn't ended. just because you pissed someone off doesn't mean they aren't still on board with the plan. (although i fully acknowledge that her reading both my post and this thread in general will change the trajectory it would have otherwise had)
Nice. It's a good wall o text but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a
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i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
For what it's worth, I think some people are motivated by the type of attitude the manager took with OP -- but my guess is those people are in the minority. That's why we're not all football playing marines, no? That's also why people here are calling the dude out. People looking for a tough love, *kitten* kicker trainer hire that person - not hope a stranger will be that way to them for motivation. Football/military - those are things you sign up for, not that randomly happen to you one day.
OP had no established relationship with the manager -- so while his aim MIGHT have been tough love, it was definitely misguided. With no established relationship with the OP, he just comes off as rude. Most people don't want to be being called out by some dude that don't know -- especially in a way that is based on guilt. OP is trying. It wasn't like she quit the gym and came back -- she kept up with her workouts -- she lacked in the diet department. That is basically life, sometimes you aren't on your A game, but you're not a loser so long as you don't give up and keep showing up. OP didn't give up.
Dude shouldn't have approached a client that wasn't his, unless the trainer asked for an intervention. It totally undermines the trainer's authority and alienates the client.
and how do you know that the trainer didn't ask for an intervention? and just because i used football and military service in my analogy doesn't mean that he manager was screaming at the OP thru a megaphone and trying intentionally to make her cry.
this thread has all the makings of every one sided relationship thread on this site. i've heard one person tell one version of a story and i'm assuming there are other sides and shadings to it. you know, because in the real world random strangers don't just walk up to long time paying customers and say insulting things out of the blue.
Except for in Pueblo, CO where they beat people to death for being fat in the gym.0 -
I started working with a trainer around this summer, and with her help I lost 30 lbs. And it's been a struggle every single day, trying to overcome emotional/stress eating. In the last month or so, I admit to letting life get in the way of my weight loss journey - stress, a relationship going bad, business travel, anxiety regarding an upcoming surgery, and, of course, the holidays - and completely fell off the wagon. I've continued working out, but my eating habits went completely awry, resulting in me putting back on half of what I lost.
I went to the gym today, and after my training session, was telling my trainer that I feel like I'll be in a better place to get back on track for New Years, and wanted her advice on a cleanse that I can do to start off. The training manager happened to come over and joined in our conversation. And I got scolded...he told me that by me not doing what I should have been doing all this time, that I was making the trainer look bad. He said it several times...that I was making her look bad, because people see that I work with her, and if I'm not putting in 100% as her client, then it reflects negatively on the trainer.
On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract.
I dunno...what do you all think about this?
Wow! You took that pretty well and I give you major props.
Had it be me, lets just say I do not tolerate that .....and it would have got ugly real fast.
I say screw them and do not let a butt hole affect your fitness/ weight loss goals.
I am sorry that this happened. Ive never heard of such a thing.
Oh, and there would be no way on this earth I could deal with them, or that gym again. I would look elsewhere.
But, you got to do what makes you happy and comfortable.0 -
i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
Great job of motivating he did. In the words of the OP
"On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract."
Maybe the manager should leave the pop psychology to those better at it. All it seemed to do is motivate her to make this thread.
i never said it was a great idea, nor did i say it was the correct idea. i also didn't say it would be my way. just that in some cases it can work. one doesn't know what will work and what doesn't till one tries. since i wasn't there, i'm not privy to any interaction the manager had either with the OP, OR with the the OP's trainer, who may or may not have had conversations about the OP with the manager. That's part of the job description of the manager, after all.
also, i think this is good time to point out that the OP has not, in fact, cancelled her contract or ceased going to the gym. talking about doing something isn't the same as doing something. part of lighting a fire under someone's *kitten* is motivating them to make a choice, and sometimes that choice isn't the desired outcome. but either way, you make them decide to do something besides sit there like a lump. for all i know after a weekend spent moping about the comment, then getting enraged about the comment, she might go back in there, tell the manager to go screw off and never speak to her again, but then get focused on her health and lose the weight again.
what i'm saying is that this story hasn't ended. just because you pissed someone off doesn't mean they aren't still on board with the plan. (although i fully acknowledge that her reading both my post and this thread in general will change the trajectory it would have otherwise had)
Are you in league with the manager. Is your post all part of his cunning plan?
If so....genius....
Imma going to use that logic at work btw so I can be a **** to someone and HR tries to call me on it!0 -
Because the only reason somebody works with a trainer is to lose weight? I'm not even trying to lose weight. Does that make my trainer look bad? Unbelievable.
My trainer works for me, not the other way around. After working with my trainer for five months, I think my trainer is just the bee's knees, and his motivational style meshes well with my needs. If after working with your trainer for a little while, your needs are not being met, you need to be able to walk away.
And my trainer has a degree in nutrition, yet I don't work with him on that point at all. Go figure.0 -
This is a response to DavPul: Well, I was responding from my own reaction and from what would be preferable to me because I can only speak for myself. That was my thinking. I wasn't trying to project some other person's reaction, I was just giving mine.
In dance I have had different types of choreographers take different approaches. And at times when I was part of a group of 25 dancers, they speak to the entire group as if we are all like the most unrehearsed and unmotivated and overconfident member of the group. So, I do understand. It does make me rehearse like a maniac every chance I can and stay awake all night rehearsing the dance over and over in my mind. So, it certainly does motivate me, more than needed. And then usually someone pulls me aside to explain that they don't have time to talk to people individually, so the feedback is not directed at me personally and that they need me to be a part of it. But, there is a difference between what someone pays me to do and what I pay someone to do. I will work for other people when they are paying me. I don't usually work for people when I am paying them, but I guess there could be an exception (if it was training for a job opportunity).0 -
I think the training manager is an idiot. Continue to do the best you can and if your uncomfortable find a trainer you are comfortable with. It's enough to concentrate on forgiving ourselves and not carrying around guilt, you certainly don't need to carry guilt because you're letting the trainer down. :noway: Good luck!!!0
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i'm going to get on the other side of this one and say that i find it odd that everybody is razzing on the manager not being able to read minds....while reading his mind and saying exactly what his reasons were for saying what he said.
i also find it odd that everyone believes that everyone else gets motivated (or demotivated) by the same stimulus that they do. and that no way would anyone be motivated to do something for reasons other than themselves. i guess no one here played on a football team? or was in the military? because those are two specific instances where the basis of training is about making sacrifices in order to help someone else.
sometimes you're in a place where you're not motivated to do anything to help yourself but you will suck it up if you feel that someone else's neck is on the line. from the OP's opening description of her mental state, it sounds like that's where she was. i'm not saying this was the right tactic and i'm not saying that he's not an *kitten*.....but damn, there's got to be more than one way, no? as for mind reading, it's a lot easier to do when you're in the room and not reading selective commentary on the net.
on the topic of the cleanse: screw that noise. cleanses are dumb, period. that said, from the OP is sounds like it was the OP's decision to ask for a cleanse, not the trainer. and i've met people that are believe in cleanses that are otherwise (IMO) wholly competent. do i wish they would stop with the cleanse BS? absolutely. but one bad thing doesn't wipe away everything else they are in their profession.
For what it's worth, I think some people are motivated by the type of attitude the manager took with OP -- but my guess is those people are in the minority. That's why we're not all football playing marines, no? That's also why people here are calling the dude out. People looking for a tough love, *kitten* kicker trainer hire that person - not hope a stranger will be that way to them for motivation. Football/military - those are things you sign up for, not that randomly happen to you one day.
OP had no established relationship with the manager -- so while his aim MIGHT have been tough love, it was definitely misguided. With no established relationship with the OP, he just comes off as rude. Most people don't want to be being called out by some dude that don't know -- especially in a way that is based on guilt. OP is trying. It wasn't like she quit the gym and came back -- she kept up with her workouts -- she lacked in the diet department. That is basically life, sometimes you aren't on your A game, but you're not a loser so long as you don't give up and keep showing up. OP didn't give up.
Dude shouldn't have approached a client that wasn't his, unless the trainer asked for an intervention. It totally undermines the trainer's authority and alienates the client.
and how do you know that the trainer didn't ask for an intervention? and just because i used football and military service in my analogy doesn't mean that he manager was screaming at the OP thru a megaphone and trying intentionally to make her cry.
this thread has all the makings of every one sided relationship thread on this site. i've heard one person tell one version of a story and i'm assuming there are other sides and shadings to it. you know, because in the real world random strangers don't just walk up to long time paying customers and say insulting things out of the blue.
:huh: Wait, I said unless the trainer asked for an intervention, it was out of line. Unless. Unless. Unless.
I have NO idea what actually happened. If OP specifically asked the trainer if she felt that way and the trainer said no (which is the story here), I don't understand what the trainer's motivation in lying at that point would be. If she wanted to back away from this particular client, this was a grand opportunity.
I actually have had people say extremely rude things to me out of nowhere - at places of business, non-the less. So that doesn't sound crazy to too far fetched. If this has never happened to you... I would say you're fairly lucky. I think the account seemed pretty reasonable. OP seems to have owned up to her failings with the diet and says she doesn't want to embarrass the trainer -- unlike most relationship threads where the OP is entirely a victim.0 -
Because the only reason somebody works with a trainer is to lose weight? I'm not even trying to lose weight. Does that make my trainer look bad? Unbelievable.
My trainer works for me, not the other way around. After working with my trainer for five months, I think my trainer is just the bee's knees, and his motivational style meshes well with my needs. If after working with your trainer for a little while, your needs are not being met, you need to be able to walk away.
And my trainer has a degree in nutrition, yet I don't work with him on that point at all. Go figure.
BINGO!!!!
"My trainer works for ME, not the other way around." Helllooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!10 -
There are also clients that use the trainer as their reason to go to the gym. I have a couple of people who are like that. If they didn't have me training them, they might not show up. Granted both are single and have money, but to them it's money well spent. They don't have to figure out what to do that day, they pay me to do that for them and then just follow the program.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
So I don't judge people working out. I see people bigger and smaller then me working out. I don't know if they have lost 10-100 pounds or gained 10 last month. All that matters is you are there trying your hardest
Edited to add:
I would be very p.o. That he said that.
I agree with this! I have worked with a trainer all year. And I actually regained some weight I had lost. But you know what I also lost a lot of inches, gained muscle, endurance, strength and cofidence in working with weights. Soooo nobody knows really what is going on looking from the outside in. The manager had no right to say that to you. Funny this topic came up...I just had this conversation with my trainer. I was feeling a little bad in back sliding. I told my trainer how I felt and he looked me straight in the eye and told me that I should be proud of what I have accomplished so far! That we are humans and we get caught up and then get back on track. He encouraged me, motivated me, explained to me how sometimes things happen to to him. He related to me; a human being to another human being. There was not need for that manger to say what he/she did. I would be putting my money elsewhere. you deserve better!!0 -
Right, because progress is linear.
That guy was was a douche and I'd find out who his manager is. You know what reflects poorly on trainers? When their clients stop showing up.
ETA: I would get a new trainer who isn't talking to you about cleanses.
^^Awesome answer.
THIS THIS THIS.
You're gym is full of knuckleheaded trainers.
1.) PT's are NEVER to advise on diet things- they are not dietitians/nutritionists- unless they are qualified to do so. They best they can/should say is point you in a direction for your own research and give you some things to think about- they should never recommend any actual diet program- or god forbid a fricking cleanse. (Check see if they aren't getting kick backs)
2.) Training manager- not his place to say that AT ALL
3.) your PT SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN UP. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY i would let my former manager come talk chit to my clients- that is 100% unacceptable. NO WAY_ NO HOW.
Complain to management- and or find a new gym/training place- that is so unprofessional on so many levels. I'm sorry you had to deal with that!!!
Get back on track and put the work in.0 -
lol0
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