Why do we have to suffer? :'(

mailaki
mailaki Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night :'(:cry:
«134

Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:
    Tough love here: every "different" person feels this way even if not overweight/obese. You're 19 and with some effort and commitment can change all of that with the right attitude. Right now you're looking for pity and consoling.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
    No one told you that you can't do those things or enjoy them. The only one who decides your attitude is YOU.
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
    Fit people have problems too. A lot of it has to start with you. Being heavy should not stop you from enjoying life. There are still plenty of activities you can enjoy and relationships you can have, at ANY weight. But if you feel that your weight is holding you back from the life you want to experience, put your foot down and change it. Losing weight does not need to be complicated, you do not need to deprive yourself from foods you love or miss out on occasions you enjoy. I've lost 126lbs and I eat ice cream everyday, I enjoyed the holiday treats and meals, I go to the movies and have popcorn etc. My point is that the process can be fun, and it does work, but it will not be a cure all. Enjoy the journey and your life, right now, today. And here's a great post to get you started.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I'm truly sorry you're feeling so low. I checked out your profile and saw that you struggle with depression. Do you work with a counselor or doctor on that? If you do, make sure they are consulting with your hypothyroid doc and vice versa.

    If you don't like your life, you can change it. Sometimes changing means getting the right kind of help and support, though.

    I'll keep you in mind-rooting for you!
  • blueboxgeek
    blueboxgeek Posts: 574 Member
    Some people can't do all kinds of things through disability or injury, and that really isn't FAIR.

    But you have a chance to change this, to do something about it. It isn't always easy, but it certainly isn't impossible. lose the "it's not fair" attitude and adopt the "I'm not doing this any longer, I am going to kick butt and lose weight" attitude.

    With willpower and determination you can get to a healthy weight and enjoy all those things. You can do it.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    I'm not sure what you are looking for here, but you will not get pity from most of this community. Many of the people here have been in the same situation you are in now, and they DECIDED to change their life. Determination and commitment can turn your world around. Take a look at the Success stories thread, and then stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it.
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
    Why do you think you can't enjoy life?

    You can literally do anything you want. There is no law saying that overweight people can't eat the food they want (you, and only you, chose what you put in your body), can't talk to strangers (??), or go (most) places (excluding, I don't know, maybe tiny airline seats or something). Just because you are overweight doesn't mean you need to hate and punish yourself.

    I do think that discrimination against fat people is, unfortunately, considered more socially-acceptable than discrimination against most other groups, which bothers me. However, f*** the haters. Feeling bad about yourself gives them the power, and the worse you feel about yourself, the less likely you are to make positive changes.

    It's great that want to lose weight (presumably--since you are on MFP), but your post concerns me that you base so much of your self-esteem on your weight. Plenty of people lose weight but still have a poor self image. This attitude, to me, seems a lot more worrisome than your weight, and something you might want to seek out some help for.

    Life is pretty unfair for most of us, overweight or not, and that is OK. Welcome to the human condition. :)
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Well not sure if you expected the answers your getting...but the thing is you posted this in a place full of people who are all about change and wanting to live their life.

    Something that you can absolutly do if you choose to..in fact there is a whole movement out there full of people who are learning to be happy with themselves and their size...who think we are all wasting our time.

    A year ago I never thought Id be able to run a city block again in my life...Ive run 3 half marathons since then.

    We have to learn to change the things we can and accept the things we cant...otherwise...heres the shovel start piling on the dirt.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:

    You say you have hypothyroid and depression. Are you being treated by professionals for these conditions?

    As others have said, you CAN do the things you've described. Life is tough for everyone, but I'm not going to pretend that it isn't harder being obese. So work out a plan to end your obesity. You're 19. You have plenty of time.
  • climbing_trees
    climbing_trees Posts: 726 Member
    No one told you that you can't do those things or enjoy them. The only one who decides your attitude is YOU.

    You aren't suffering because you're overweight. You're suffering because you LET yourself.

    If you are ready to change your life, you are in a great place. MFP is full of smart, kind people to help you on your fitness journey. It is also full of people ready to kick your butt if they see you slipping! Today is as good of a day as any to begin. :) Best of luck to you ^__^
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:

    I think you'll wish this post got buried!
  • dawningr
    dawningr Posts: 387 Member
    You don't 'have' to suffer. You don't 'have' to be obese. Take control of your life and make it better.
  • gatecityradio
    gatecityradio Posts: 401
    Oh get a grip. Stop eating then and lose some weight.

    come off it
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    This has very little to do with your weight and everything to do with your self-esteem. Try doing different things to work on your confidence, social skills, etc. Try talking to a professional.

    If you think like this now, you could drop all the weight, and still end up feeling miserable, like you can't talk to girls, etc.
  • beallh
    beallh Posts: 24 Member
    lifes not fair - the sooner you realize that the better life will be.
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
    newsflash If someone told you life was fair or easy, they lied to you.
  • Chris_58
    Chris_58 Posts: 32
    1st of all, Welcome to MFP.
    I'm sure you made an account here because you want to change, Just like I did.

    When I was at my highest weight from age 18-21 (107kg) I also felt like you do, but then I realised that I didn't need to feel that way.
    The only thing stopping you from doing something is yourself, whether you are overweight or not, you can most certainly go to the movies or talk to people, one of my best friends is heavier than I am and has a girlfriend (whilst I don't)
    There are of course limits to that (e.g skydiving) :P

    It took me 7 months to drop 45lb (around 20kg) (in fact I'm also now light enough to go skydiving - I checked XD) and if your weight is getting you down then you're in the right place, it takes a bit of time, but it's so worth it in the end, don't give up! and treat yourself every now and again.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    Life is not fair. Period. You have the power within yourself to make changes, but is up to you to make those changes because nobody else can do it for you.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    This has very little to do with your weight and everything to do with your self-esteem.

    Exactly this.

    You are suffering because you have coupled your sense of self worth and self esteem to your weight and appearance. That is unsurprising. We live in cultures obsessed with those things.

    Break the ties that bind and you will free yourself.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Eh I have been obese my whole life pretty much, since age 15 anyway (37 now) and I have never actually suffered or been miserable. Attitude goes a long way. Playing the victim never helps. You can make small changes that will lead to success.
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
    Some people can't do all kinds of things through disability or injury, and that really isn't FAIR.
    Seriously you can stop being overweight. I can't stop the fact my entire back is fused, and I have a disorder that grows tumors up and down my spinal cord. And you know what? I don't complain about it because there are people who worse off than me. Complaining and pity parties gets you no where in life.
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
    Okay - a LOT of people are going to 'harsh' on your post - realize if you're going to post stuff like this, you will need thicker skin, my friend!

    As one person commented - we ALL have 'stuff' in our lives - we're all on this site for a reason.............!

    Bottom line is - only YOU can turn things around!

    BUT - only if YOU WANT to turn them around!

    If you aren't seeing a counselor of some sort - maybe you should (there's nothing wrong with getting help; to lose weight and get your body how you want - your head has to be in the 'right' place first)! I'm not saying this to be mean - I'VE been to counseling - I had to get my *kitten* together before I started this journey.

    When you're truly ready for this - do it; and we'll be here for you!
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:

    No. Life is not fair to the people that are born with a disability that prevent them from doing things that they want. Or people that have developed disabilities from accidents later in life. Or children that are born with diseases that guarantee a short life. The list could go on and on.

    What you have, is all your own doing and can be reversed with a little effort and perhaps a little help from a professional, if you are depressed.

    I'd like to add, 100kg is 220lb. I started this journey weighing over 60lb more than you, and I didn't have any problems going to parties, going to see films, talking to people, or performing any other 'normal' activities. Don't blame everything on your weight.
  • red_road
    red_road Posts: 761 Member
    /harsh
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
    Hope you feel better soon! You have the power to change - not only your weight, but the way you see life. Don't wait until you hit a certain weight to live your life. That is dangerous.

    Life is pretty fair. We all have struggles. You are lucky enough to have a struggle that can be overcome! Again, good luck and please ignore the cranky pants.
  • soupandcookies
    soupandcookies Posts: 212 Member
    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:

    It seems like you consider yourself a victim. I am so sorry you feel that way. I just want to reassure you, that you are not powerless in this. You are powerFUL. You have the power to change your body and mind. We are here to support you through this. Keep coming back for support. You can turn this around.
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:

    Okay I am going to refrain from a snarky response as you are obviously upset but at the same time I will be honest...
    I cannot shop like "normal" people
    If this is because of your size than you just have to develop a plan to lose weight and adhere to it...will provide links at end.
    If it is because of self-esteem or social anxiety I recommend some form of therapy and also exercise as I find this to be a very effective method of dealing with emotional issues.
    cannot eat the food I like

    Well yes you can if you develop self control particularly over portion sizes, because food is not inherently bad but diets can be...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think
    cannot go to movies or go partying

    You could if you wanted to but I reiterate this is a symptom of your low self-esteem and recommend taking the steps necessary to improve it.
    I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places.
    You are still quite young and have plenty of time to change but the best time to start is now, yes you may have poor self esteem but you are not the only one. It may seem difficult at the moment to change but if you are committed nothing you have written about is unchangeable.
    ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.

    These comments make me think that you no doubt are suffering but have a small window to the vast amount of suffering occurring right now in the world, I get it you have low self esteem from being overweight, well do something about it...at least you have an opportunity to change your life many do not.

    yDoQ8ND.gif

    Helpful links...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1069278-acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Skinny people must have fast metabolisms right?

    Think again: http://youtu.be/eTr1JUvEiUU

    Still convinced your problem is a slow metabolism?

    You don't: http://youtu.be/KA9AdlhB18o

    OP I wish you the best of luck but you have to try and stop being a victim or as it says on my wall

    "Just another person trying to break free of a trap dug and designed by my own two hands."

    I learned I could live more than one life in a lifetime.

    “Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.” ― Bill Hicks

    ETA: Could probably remove the word "can't" from you post and replace it with "won't".
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    Hope you feel better soon! You have the power to change - not only your weight, but the way you see life. Don't wait until you hit a certain weight to live your life. That is dangerous.

    Life is pretty fair. We all have struggles. You are lucky enough to have a struggle that can be overcome! Again, good luck and please ignore the cranky pants trying to give you "tough love" (insults).

    Exactly!

    A young 19 yr old with depression and medical issues and everyone jumps on them! Shameful!!!! Wow!!!!

    Talk to your doctor to get your depression and hypothyroidism under control so you can get your emotions in check.

    Not everyone here is cruel so keep your head up, keep pushing through everyday, and realize that although you feel terrible now, it will past.

    Its hard but you have to make the first step. Only you can do it.

    Good luck hon, and keep your head way up to the sky!
  • emilyisbonkers
    emilyisbonkers Posts: 373 Member
    edit / not worth it
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
    Oh get a grip. Stop eating then and lose some weight.

    come off it

    Agreed. I'm not into coddling people, and my many friends on this site know that I will love them with a tough love if need be and will say whatever needs to be said to them. But when someone comes on here who is CRYING over something and mentions that they suffer from depression in their profile - BE CAREFUL HOW YOU RESPOND TO THEM. These are human beings, people. We don't know if this person is on the edge of doing away with themselves, for example. It could be quite serious. In these situations we should follow the example of the folks on here who have been kind, compassionate, and even-toned and yet still spoke the *truth* to this person. You can do both. You don't have to be a douche about it, sheesh.

Categories