Why do we have to suffer? :'(

MorgueBabe

Some people can't do all kinds of things through disability or injury, and that really isn't FAIR.

Seriously you can stop being overweight. I can't stop the fact my entire back is fused, and I have a disorder that grows tumors up and down my spinal cord. And you know what? I don't complain about it because there are people who worse off than me. Complaining and pity parties gets you no where in life.

becky10rp

Okay - a LOT of people are going to 'harsh' on your post - realize if you're going to post stuff like this, you will need thicker skin, my friend!

As one person commented - we ALL have 'stuff' in our lives - we're all on this site for a reason.............!

Bottom line is - only YOU can turn things around!

BUT - only if YOU WANT to turn them around!

If you aren't seeing a counselor of some sort - maybe you should (there's nothing wrong with getting help; to lose weight and get your body how you want - your head has to be in the 'right' place first)! I'm not saying this to be mean - I'VE been to counseling - I had to get my *kitten* together before I started this journey.

When you're truly ready for this - do it; and we'll be here for you!

lauren3101

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

No. Life is not fair to the people that are born with a disability that prevent them from doing things that they want. Or people that have developed disabilities from accidents later in life. Or children that are born with diseases that guarantee a short life. The list could go on and on.

What you have, is all your own doing and can be reversed with a little effort and perhaps a little help from a professional, if you are depressed.

I'd like to add, 100kg is 220lb. I started this journey weighing over 60lb more than you, and I didn't have any problems going to parties, going to see films, talking to people, or performing any other 'normal' activities. Don't blame everything on your weight.

red_road

/harsh

SerenaKitty

Hope you feel better soon! You have the power to change - not only your weight, but the way you see life. Don't wait until you hit a certain weight to live your life. That is dangerous.

Life is pretty fair. We all have struggles. You are lucky enough to have a struggle that can be overcome! Again, good luck and please ignore the cranky pants.

soupandcookies

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

It seems like you consider yourself a victim. I am so sorry you feel that way. I just want to reassure you, that you are not powerless in this. You are powerFUL. You have the power to change your body and mind. We are here to support you through this. Keep coming back for support. You can turn this around.

Ophidion

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

Okay I am going to refrain from a snarky response as you are obviously upset but at the same time I will be honest...

I cannot shop like "normal" people

If this is because of your size than you just have to develop a plan to lose weight and adhere to it...will provide links at end.
If it is because of self-esteem or social anxiety I recommend some form of therapy and also exercise as I find this to be a very effective method of dealing with emotional issues.

cannot eat the food I like

Well yes you can if you develop self control particularly over portion sizes, because food is not inherently bad but diets can be...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think

cannot go to movies or go partying

You could if you wanted to but I reiterate this is a symptom of your low self-esteem and recommend taking the steps necessary to improve it.

I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places.

You are still quite young and have plenty of time to change but the best time to start is now, yes you may have poor self esteem but you are not the only one. It may seem difficult at the moment to change but if you are committed nothing you have written about is unchangeable.

ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.

These comments make me think that you no doubt are suffering but have a small window to the vast amount of suffering occurring right now in the world, I get it you have low self esteem from being overweight, well do something about it...at least you have an opportunity to change your life many do not.



Helpful links...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1069278-acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

Skinny people must have fast metabolisms right?

Think again: http://youtu.be/eTr1JUvEiUU

Still convinced your problem is a slow metabolism?

You don't: http://youtu.be/KA9AdlhB18o

OP I wish you the best of luck but you have to try and stop being a victim or as it says on my wall

"Just another person trying to break free of a trap dug and designed by my own two hands."

I learned I could live more than one life in a lifetime.

“Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.” ― Bill Hicks

ETA: Could probably remove the word "can't" from you post and replace it with "won't".

Sreneesa

Hope you feel better soon! You have the power to change - not only your weight, but the way you see life. Don't wait until you hit a certain weight to live your life. That is dangerous.

Life is pretty fair. We all have struggles. You are lucky enough to have a struggle that can be overcome! Again, good luck and please ignore the cranky pants trying to give you "tough love" (insults).

Exactly!

A young 19 yr old with depression and medical issues and everyone jumps on them! Shameful!!!! Wow!!!!

Talk to your doctor to get your depression and hypothyroidism under control so you can get your emotions in check.

Not everyone here is cruel so keep your head up, keep pushing through everyday, and realize that although you feel terrible now, it will past.

Its hard but you have to make the first step. Only you can do it.

Good luck hon, and keep your head way up to the sky!

emilyisbonkers

edit / not worth it

Brandolin11

Oh get a grip. Stop eating then and lose some weight.

come off it

Agreed. I'm not into coddling people, and my many friends on this site know that I will love them with a tough love if need be and will say whatever needs to be said to them. But when someone comes on here who is CRYING over something and mentions that they suffer from depression in their profile - BE CAREFUL HOW YOU RESPOND TO THEM. These are human beings, people. We don't know if this person is on the edge of doing away with themselves, for example. It could be quite serious. In these situations we should follow the example of the folks on here who have been kind, compassionate, and even-toned and yet still spoke the *truth* to this person. You can do both. You don't have to be a douche about it, sheesh.

Jestinia

Because humanity has spent all of its history killing each other, stealing from each other, and making up imaginary anthropomorphic beings, often then used to justify said killing and stealing. We have not spent enough time studying and fixing our mortal, fragile, disease prone selves yet. But if we don't nuke ourselves back to the stone age, perhaps someday we will.

This post brought to you by someone who hopes every young person that reads it will aspire to work in the science and medical fields. Get to it! And if you're fat, don't let it stop you, make it motivate you.

Phoenix_Warrior

Why do we have to suffer?

We don't. This is self inflicted behavior and it needs to stop. You are not a victim. You are a person who cannot stand to live another day feeling sorry for yourself. You find every piece of you that you find redeeming and you push forward and make changes. Either to your inner self or outer. You have to fuel yourself on dreams and positive energy to make it out of the darkness. You have to believe that there is more to life than loathing. You can do anything you want. You're only bound by the chains you create. Break them.

celtbell3

I am sorry sweetie...you are definitely angry about being obese and now that you have let out your anger at being obese, channel your anger and become even more focused on meeting the challenge of making yourself 'healthy'. If you haven't already, work hard at making healthy dietary decisions. Make yourself walk and then run and then sprint. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it. Since it's not, only the winners will risk to the task. Your call.

Fit_Happens_2021

A lot of advice here is worth taking on board, but please ignore the harshness of some posts don't let it get you more down.

I don't have a lot to add except, because I'm a mum, and my son is the same age as you, I want to just give you a hug and say 'believe in yourself, you CAN change this!'

(((hugs)))

Jerrypeoples

two things you need to learn, one of which has already been stated;

1. Life isn't fair
2. People are *kitten*

what you have to do is judge for yourself, not cause someone called you a name or are trying to bring you down. You have to make that decision when is enough enough. For me it was @42 years old and wanting to play basketball better.

maybe use what you cant do, shop for "normal" clothes. set small goals, not unrealistic ones.

(these are arbitrary solutions/goals and not aimed directly at you but in general a starting point)

first month cut out whatever is in your diet that isnt good for you.

take up walking - first time go for 10 minutes without a break, 2nd time 12, 3rd time 15 minutes

maybe do a light jog for 5 minutes.

join a gym

whatever it is you decide it has to come from you, not from someone else or done to please someone else. it's very easy to be told this but until you hit that moment where it actually makes sense your life is not going to change.

Kevalicious99

Wishing the OP the best in the future. Depression and medical issues are not fun to deal with.

Take care and good luck.

Fullsterkur_woman

Hi, I won't harsh on ya, but I won't coddle you either.

I've got depression too, but thankfully I've had my thyroid tested a few times and it's all good. But I still have a pretty slow metabolism because of the depression. Anyway, hypothyroid doesn't make it impossible to be a healthy weight, it just means you have to work more at it. It may not be fair, but we live in the world of reality. Wishing it were otherwise accomplishes nothing.

Now that you've gotten your rant off your chest (I get it, I really do!), what are you going to DO about it? You only get one go-round at this life, so make the most of it!

Are your thyroid symptoms adequately controlled? If not, talk to your endocrinologist about getting your dosage adjusted until it is! Be pushy about this; your numbers may be "fine" but the symptoms not well-controlled. Nobody is going to be a strong advocate for your health better than you, so get after it! Same goes for the depression. Are you taking an anti-depressant? Are you in counseling? Some people have really intractable depression that takes a *lot* of managing, even if the severity of the depression is mild (like me-- meds, counseling, vitamin supplements, light therapy for seasonal depression even though I live in the US south, healthy balanced diet *and* exercise!). Just because one thing does not work does not mean you get to just give up. You have to keep working at it until you find the combination that works for you and helps you be functional and the best *you* you can be.

You don't have to fix this all in one shot, so don't get overwhelmed! Just do one thing to make your life a little better today. Keep it up until it's a habit, and then do one more thing. It will all add up eventually, and you will be amazed at the transformation!

Send me a FR if you like.

rjmwx81

This will sound harsh, but life isn't fair. The sooner you learn to accept that fact, the sooner you can learn to enjoy the good moments in life.

kgeyser

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

I'm not going to be harsh, because I understand what you are trying to say. It is frustrating. It sucks not to be able to walk right into a store and find something, anything, in your size. It sucks that you can't go out and enjoy a slice of pizza without people giving you the "this is why you are fat" looks. It sucks not to feel included. It sucks not to be able to do everyday things because your weight makes it difficult. It sucks to feel like you can't talk to the opposite sex because you'll automatically be put in the "friend zone" or the person will act repulsed that "someone like you" spoke to them. It sucks to know that overweight people seem to be one of the only groups in this country that people seem to think it is ok to treat with disdain.

So, you're right. It's not fair, and it does suck. And it's ok to be frustrated and a little angry. And I think we all know that in letting this rant out, you're also expressing the anger and frustration you feel with yourself right now. And that's ok.

The important thing is, you're here. And this place is full of people who are living proof that it doesn't have to be this way for you. It's not going to be easy, and you're going to have good days and bad days. The good news is that if you read the site and talk to people in the community, you learn how to power through the bad days. Losing weight isn't going to solve all the problems in your life, but you can do this. And maybe once you see yourself hitting your goals here, tackling some of your other goals won't seem as daunting.

bellesouth18

Hope you feel better soon! You have the power to change - not only your weight, but the way you see life. Don't wait until you hit a certain weight to live your life. That is dangerous.

Life is pretty fair. We all have struggles. You are lucky enough to have a struggle that can be overcome! Again, good luck and please ignore the cranky pants trying to give you "tough love" (insults).

Exactly!

A young 19 yr old with depression and medical issues and everyone jumps on them! Shameful!!!! Wow!!!!

Talk to your doctor to get your depression and hypothyroidism under control so you can get your emotions in check.

Not everyone here is cruel so keep your head up, keep pushing through everyday, and realize that although you feel terrible now, it will past.

Its hard but you have to make the first step. Only you can do it.

Good luck hon, and keep your head way up to the sky!

I agree with this advice. I have low thyroid, too. Hypothyroidism can cause symptoms of depression, too. If you are still feeling depressed, especially if you are already taking medication and still feel this way, you really need to go back to your doctor.

When I was your age, I was awkward around the opposite sex, too. It's normal! Lots of people are this way. But you have to practice the changes you want in order to get better. And how do you practice? By doing. You have to practice talking to girls. You have to practice eating a proper intake.

My best advice is probably easier said than done for you--START NEW CONVERSATIONS WITH YOURSELF! You have to practice telling yourself you are totally worth it. Your whole life is ahead of you. Get help with your issues asap.

I wish you the best and am sorry if I sound too preachy. It's the mother in me and I can't help it. :flowerforyou:

edited for cut and paste error.