Why did you dump the person above you?

WMDemetree

hugged the TV remote and would not give it up.

Spnneil06

I loved the tv remote, it likes to snuggle with me!

WMDemetree

she preferred to snuggle with someone/thing else :-(

Groovyca2022

He wouldn't let me eat pumpkin Oreos in bed.

bago08

Would only let me eat pumpkin oreos and not the regular kind

Lian98

He liked the regular oreos

WMDemetree

I was too old to eat oreos.

Fvaisey

He told me I was too old to eat oreos!

GordieLaChance

I couldn't handle the unibrow...

La_Malfaisante

He was too sweet for me...

Spnneil06

He thought I told him to spank softer, but it was never hard enough!

assthetik

i broke my hand in 3 places trying to spank her. Turns out she got butt implants sewed in

Spnneil06

He didn't like my buns of ACTUAL steel!

FabulousFantasticFifty

I'd get injured every time she sat on my lap!

assthetik

she was addicted to sitting in my lap. It got difficult driving on the highway

Spnneil06

He never wanted to drive on the highway, all back roads! Come on you make a 20 minute trip 2 hours!

Lian98

She didn't like to enjoy the scenery. And she drove WAY too fast.

assthetik

she wouldnt slow down when we passed the naked runners

Spnneil06

They were too old for me, he has a strange fetish!

assthetik

the naked runners got me excited and she turned the wrong gearstick

WMDemetree

He had too many sticks to gear.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He didnt shift back into low gear!

Spnneil06

We never went the same speed, I wanted faster she wanted slower and vice versa!

WMDemetree

Her skirt was always in the way when I tried to shift gears

assthetik

he wanted me to give him a bikini wax

FabulousFantasticFifty

He wouldn't wax my mustache!

assthetik

i was fine with that but it was your nasal hair that had me running for the hills

FabulousFantasticFifty

He apparently had a problem with my gorgeous nostril locks!

assthetik

thanks to her nostril locks, kissing her felt like i was flossing my teeth

ilfaith

He didn't floss