I don't want to be attractive.

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  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    You're brave to be honest.
    I have a thought and hope it helps:
    When you're overweight, you learn HOW to respond to people's comments (both good and bad) about food, weight, etc. You are practiced and experienced in how to act in all kinds of situations because you're familiar with your weight, your image, who you are.
    Now, WHO you are is changing. It might only be a physical change, but it IS a change.
    People act differently towards you. OF COURSE it is uncomfortable. You may or may not want to be noticed, to be flirted with, etc. But you are also UNprepared for how to act, react, and BE this new person.
    THAT IS OKAY. Take it slow.
    Try to imagine that you know how to react and act to attention. When somebody notices how attractive you are, it will not bother you when you know how to react.
    Then, you can learn the tools of how to act. You will gain experience.
    I agree with those who recommend don't flaunt it now. But also, don't stop the great progress you are making.
    One step at a time.
    Just like you had to buy new clothes to fit the new body, you have to learn new skills to interact with people in your new body.
    Good Luck!

    I think this is very good advice.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    I hear you. Its easier to hide when no one considers you attractive....but you know what? people do anyway. I do understand about wanting to avoid unwanted attention. The thing to remember is that you DESERVE attention. You are worth attention and love and a sexual life. You may not feel you deserve those things...but you do. You also deserve a healthy body. I feel like you need some therapy to get past this. Not everyone is comfortable being the center of attention, and that's perfectly ok, but there's no reason to hide how wonderful you are and how wonderful you are becoming.
  • A1345
    A1345 Posts: 12
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    Have you considered going to therapy? It can help you. There is a reason deep down inside that is making you feel this way. Maybe something you have repressed. Thank you for sharing this. I know it wasn't easy to put yourself out there. If you need to talk you can write me any time.

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