Fun for thought Only...Opinions Requested!
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Let me go back to what a very religious and reserved friend told me once, "You do not shake a woman's hand, she shakes yours. She must first extend hers to be invited into her space." Granted, I extend my hand first in today's world but the point remains valid. A woman must show interest before a man should pursue. Now, equal opportunity, if a woman pursues, that is ok too.
Where do I fall, initially, I want to know if a woman is interested in more obvious ways, subtleties are fine but sometimes, they are hard to recognize. At the same time, I want to know not to advance as well. For me, asking a girl out was very hard, my confidence was pretty brittle back then and if I was dating again, it might still be hard.
At the end, I like to be pursued, then I like to pursue.0 -
Damn, Hayley. I love you.Let me put this another way!! I would never raise my daughter to approach a man first!!
A real man should be confident enough to approach a woman and say Hello!!!
Any man who thinks a woman should approach him lacks confidence and should Man Up!!!
Hi topsking2010.
I would respond to you via the private message you sent me, but doing so would make my skin crawl, so instead I will respond to this lovely post you've made.
While I understand you may be used to overcompensating for any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, I find your ideals, to put it lightly, absolutely abhorrent. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes women may want to approach a man they find interesting and that is completely fine. I'm sure this idea terrifies you, but sometimes women are confident enough to go for what they want without depending on a man to give it to them - and also unfortunately for you, it does not mean they are "aggressive".
I am saddened that you are raising your daughter to accept misogyny and to feel as if it is acceptable for men to be aggressors. Does your mindset extend to her interactions with her teachers and, later, bosses? Should she not go for the things she wants because she, as you told me, "should expect the best because she gives the best"? Sounds like settling to me. I guess I will have to accept the "best" at my job because I only "give the best". I won't ask for anything else, because otherwise I wouldn't be considered a "classy lady" by your definition.
And, next time I see a guy I might be attracted to or find interesting, I won't try and strike up conversation with him. No, doing so would be far too aggressive and would mean that I am not fully dependent on men to give me anything I may need. And the next time I am approached by a man, I will be sure to "express interest" as that would make me a "classy lady" (your words, if you recall). Even if the guy is setting off every alarm in my creeper radar, I will be sure to be polite and make conversation with him because I am so lucky that he finds me attractive enough to come talk to me.
Oh, and, just so you know, I would and do want to date someone who's shy. There is nothing wrong with that and it is not a measure of character. I happen to be shy too and find it an endearing quality. I know, I know... women have more preferences in men other than "aggressive enough to approach". Hopefully that's not too much for you to handle.
Sincerely,
One unclassy slore
PS: By the way, next time, please don't PM me instead of addressing me in the thread. I am clearly not a "classy lady" by your definitions and won't respond graciously so I would advise you not take that extra effort.
Edit: In a non-creeper way!0 -
Personally I wouldn't approach a man. I would rather the man approach me but its easy to catch someone's eye from a far and then flirt enough to make it happen
!!!
Catching someone's eye / getting their attention = to approaching / pursuing, to me anyway. The only difference is that one tactic is more direct.0 -
A classy lady should never approach a man!! It's looks like she is desperate.
that's bull****. you need to go back to the 1950s where you came from.
yes, women can approach men. be smart, be funny.0 -
Let me put this another way!! I would never raise my daughter to approach a man first!!
A real man should be confident enough to approach a woman and say Hello!!!
Any man who thinks a woman should approach him lacks confidence and should Man Up!!!
Hi topsking2010.
I would respond to you via the private message you sent me, but doing so would make my skin crawl, so instead I will respond to this lovely post you've made.
While I understand you may be used to overcompensating for any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, I find your ideals, to put it lightly, absolutely abhorrent. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes women may want to approach a man they find interesting and that is completely fine. I'm sure this idea terrifies you, but sometimes women are confident enough to go for what they want without depending on a man to give it to them - and also unfortunately for you, it does not mean they are "aggressive".
I am saddened that you are raising your daughter to accept misogyny and to feel as if it is acceptable for men to be aggressors. Does your mindset extend to her interactions with her teachers and, later, bosses? Should she not go for the things she wants because she, as you told me, "should expect the best because she gives the best"? Sounds like settling to me. I guess I will have to accept the "best" at my job because I only "give the best". I won't ask for anything else, because otherwise I wouldn't be considered a "classy lady" by your definition.
And, next time I see a guy I might be attracted to or find interesting, I won't try and strike up conversation with him. No, doing so would be far too aggressive and would mean that I am not fully dependent on men to give me anything I may need. And the next time I am approached by a man, I will be sure to "express interest" as that would make me a "classy lady" (your words, if you recall). Even if the guy is setting off every alarm in my creeper radar, I will be sure to be polite and make conversation with him because I am so lucky that he finds me attractive enough to come talk to me.
Oh, and, just so you know, I would and do want to date someone who's shy. There is nothing wrong with that and it is not a measure of character. I happen to be shy too and find it an endearing quality. I know, I know... women have more preferences in men other than "aggressive enough to approach". Hopefully that's not too much for you to handle.
Sincerely,
One unclassy slore
PS: By the way, next time, please don't PM me instead of addressing me in the thread. I am clearly not a "classy lady" by your definitions and won't respond graciously so I would advise you not take that extra effort.
LOL. yes. you're ****ing awesome.0 -
I really don't understand why it's OK for a man but not OK for a woman. If you like a guy, why wouldn't you talk to him? Maybe he's dense and doesn't know you're interested.0
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i sincerely pity your children, and your SO, if you found a partner desperate enough to settle for you.Let me put this another way!! I would never raise my daughter to approach a man first!!
A real man should be confident enough to approach a woman and say Hello!!!
Any man who thinks a woman should approach him lacks confidence and should Man Up!!!0 -
a women should do what she feels like doing ..if she wants to pursue the person thats cool
if not..that's cool too0 -
O wow. No need for hate. This was just for fun and friendly opinions only. Obviously, as I stated in the opening, opinions on this topic vary so widely. That was the entire point of the thread. Thank you all for participating. The debate was, very enlightening!
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I really don't understand why it's OK for a man but not OK for a woman. If you like a guy, why wouldn't you talk to him? Maybe he's dense and doesn't know you're interested.
Speaking as one of the dense ones we're always grateful if you say something 0 -
A classy lady should never approach a man!! It's looks like she is desperate.
A smile while making eye contact is enough and a real man will approach the woman!!
Please define "classy lady"
I believe it's common phrase used in the seventies. Hence the outdated and disproved usage is telling. As in make me throw up in my mouth a little.0 -
Let me put this another way!! I would never raise my daughter to approach a man first!!
A real man should be confident enough to approach a woman and say Hello!!!
Any man who thinks a woman should approach him lacks confidence and should Man Up!!!
Dude, you are using up all the ! the 'real men' will need at some point.0 -
Let me put this another way!! I would never raise my daughter to approach a man first!!
A real man should be confident enough to approach a woman and say Hello!!!
Any man who thinks a woman should approach him lacks confidence and should Man Up!!!
Hi topsking2010.
I would respond to you via the private message you sent me, but doing so would make my skin crawl, so instead I will respond to this lovely post you've made.
While I understand you may be used to overcompensating for any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, I find your ideals, to put it lightly, absolutely abhorrent. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes women may want to approach a man they find interesting and that is completely fine. I'm sure this idea terrifies you, but sometimes women are confident enough to go for what they want without depending on a man to give it to them - and also unfortunately for you, it does not mean they are "aggressive".
I am saddened that you are raising your daughter to accept misogyny and to feel as if it is acceptable for men to be aggressors. Does your mindset extend to her interactions with her teachers and, later, bosses? Should she not go for the things she wants because she, as you told me, "should expect the best because she gives the best"? Sounds like settling to me. I guess I will have to accept the "best" at my job because I only "give the best". I won't ask for anything else, because otherwise I wouldn't be considered a "classy lady" by your definition.
And, next time I see a guy I might be attracted to or find interesting, I won't try and strike up conversation with him. No, doing so would be far too aggressive and would mean that I am not fully dependent on men to give me anything I may need. And the next time I am approached by a man, I will be sure to "express interest" as that would make me a "classy lady" (your words, if you recall). Even if the guy is setting off every alarm in my creeper radar, I will be sure to be polite and make conversation with him because I am so lucky that he finds me attractive enough to come talk to me.
Oh, and, just so you know, I would and do want to date someone who's shy. There is nothing wrong with that and it is not a measure of character. I happen to be shy too and find it an endearing quality. I know, I know... women have more preferences in men other than "aggressive enough to approach". Hopefully that's not too much for you to handle.
Sincerely,
One unclassy slore
PS: By the way, next time, please don't PM me instead of addressing me in the thread. I am clearly not a "classy lady" by your definitions and won't respond graciously so I would advise you not take that extra effort.
FTW!!!! Wow, Slore, you are awesome - great reply!
I agree with the concern for his children - both sons and daughters, if he has both. What sad lessons to be imparting to children. Equality is a really neat thing that they're being taught doesn't exist when it comes to gender... and this is a loss for both sons and daughters :-(
I am heartened to mainly see replies on here supporting equality and acceptance of many types of people - those who prefer to approach and those who prefer to be approached, no matter what the gender.
Use of terms such as "be a man" or "man up" (or "be more of a lady," for that manner) are damaging and imply that there's only a narrow selection of ways to be a man (or lady)... Men can be outgoing or shy, confident or insecure, etc etc, and no one is more "man" than the other!
Thanks Slore for publicly addressing this guy, and so eloquently :-)0 -
I probably wouldn't want to be with a dude who found me saying hello classless. Whether male or female, chasing after somebody who appears disinterested is a no-no in my book - either somebody want to get to know somebody or you don't. I have found that genuine people who are worth the time and effort don't go for games like crazy notions of what makes a "real man" or "real woman".0
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Let me put this another way!! I would never raise my daughter to approach a man first!!
A real man should be confident enough to approach a woman and say Hello!!!
Any man who thinks a woman should approach him lacks confidence and should Man Up!!!
Hi topsking2010.
I would respond to you via the private message you sent me, but doing so would make my skin crawl, so instead I will respond to this lovely post you've made.
While I understand you may be used to overcompensating for any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, I find your ideals, to put it lightly, absolutely abhorrent. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes women may want to approach a man they find interesting and that is completely fine. I'm sure this idea terrifies you, but sometimes women are confident enough to go for what they want without depending on a man to give it to them - and also unfortunately for you, it does not mean they are "aggressive".
I am saddened that you are raising your daughter to accept misogyny and to feel as if it is acceptable for men to be aggressors. Does your mindset extend to her interactions with her teachers and, later, bosses? Should she not go for the things she wants because she, as you told me, "should expect the best because she gives the best"? Sounds like settling to me. I guess I will have to accept the "best" at my job because I only "give the best". I won't ask for anything else, because otherwise I wouldn't be considered a "classy lady" by your definition.
And, next time I see a guy I might be attracted to or find interesting, I won't try and strike up conversation with him. No, doing so would be far too aggressive and would mean that I am not fully dependent on men to give me anything I may need. And the next time I am approached by a man, I will be sure to "express interest" as that would make me a "classy lady" (your words, if you recall). Even if the guy is setting off every alarm in my creeper radar, I will be sure to be polite and make conversation with him because I am so lucky that he finds me attractive enough to come talk to me.
Oh, and, just so you know, I would and do want to date someone who's shy. There is nothing wrong with that and it is not a measure of character. I happen to be shy too and find it an endearing quality. I know, I know... women have more preferences in men other than "aggressive enough to approach". Hopefully that's not too much for you to handle.
Sincerely,
One unclassy slore
PS: By the way, next time, please don't PM me instead of addressing me in the thread. I am clearly not a "classy lady" by your definitions and won't respond graciously so I would advise you not take that extra effort.
Cheers!0 -
A woman confident enough in herself to approach me will make an impression.0
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Let me put this another way!! I would never raise my daughter to approach a man first!!
A real man should be confident enough to approach a woman and say Hello!!!
Any man who thinks a woman should approach him lacks confidence and should Man Up!!!
Hi topsking2010.
I would respond to you via the private message you sent me, but doing so would make my skin crawl, so instead I will respond to this lovely post you've made.
While I understand you may be used to overcompensating for any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, I find your ideals, to put it lightly, absolutely abhorrent. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes women may want to approach a man they find interesting and that is completely fine. I'm sure this idea terrifies you, but sometimes women are confident enough to go for what they want without depending on a man to give it to them - and also unfortunately for you, it does not mean they are "aggressive".
I am saddened that you are raising your daughter to accept misogyny and to feel as if it is acceptable for men to be aggressors. Does your mindset extend to her interactions with her teachers and, later, bosses? Should she not go for the things she wants because she, as you told me, "should expect the best because she gives the best"? Sounds like settling to me. I guess I will have to accept the "best" at my job because I only "give the best". I won't ask for anything else, because otherwise I wouldn't be considered a "classy lady" by your definition.
And, next time I see a guy I might be attracted to or find interesting, I won't try and strike up conversation with him. No, doing so would be far too aggressive and would mean that I am not fully dependent on men to give me anything I may need. And the next time I am approached by a man, I will be sure to "express interest" as that would make me a "classy lady" (your words, if you recall). Even if the guy is setting off every alarm in my creeper radar, I will be sure to be polite and make conversation with him because I am so lucky that he finds me attractive enough to come talk to me.
Oh, and, just so you know, I would and do want to date someone who's shy. There is nothing wrong with that and it is not a measure of character. I happen to be shy too and find it an endearing quality. I know, I know... women have more preferences in men other than "aggressive enough to approach". Hopefully that's not too much for you to handle.
Sincerely,
One unclassy slore
PS: By the way, next time, please don't PM me instead of addressing me in the thread. I am clearly not a "classy lady" by your definitions and won't respond graciously so I would advise you not take that extra effort.
I love you.
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Topsking2010 -
Apparently, you only like trying to talk via PM so that you only irritate one person at a time but I have no more intention of engaging you in a PM conversation than TheSlorax did. However, allow me to respond.
You claim that you "date hot women who like being approached by a man" and that it's an "alpha male thing." I date hot women who welcome an approach from a man but are also confident enough to talk to someone they find interesting without relying on that person to make it happen. And alpha males aren't threatened by strong women.
You also claim the people getting annoyed at your comments are from a different generation like me. You were born in 1962; I was born in 1973. Not that much younger than you chief, but apparently, a little more enlightened and a little more comfortable around women with a brain and a spine.
You also suggest that I talk to my dad about this and listen to his comments. First off, my dad is 78 years old and has been married forever. He doesn't know the first thing about talking to women he might find interesting. Secondly, my dad works with and around strong women all the time and sees them as people and equals, not window dressing, chefs and babysitters.
It's 2014. Join the real world. Or, at the very least, don't keep your daughter from doing so.0 -
oh topsking2010. sending PMs instead of responding in the thread is so beta.0
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Topsking2010 -
Apparently, you only like trying to talk via PM so that you only irritate one person at a time but I have no more intention of engaging you in a PM conversation than TheSlorax did. However, allow me to respond.
You claim that you "date hot women who like being approached by a man" and that it's an "alpha male thing." I date hot women who welcome an approach from a man but are also confident enough to talk to someone they find interesting without relying on that person to make it happen. And alpha males aren't threatened by strong women.
You also claim the people getting annoyed at your comments are from a different generation like me. You were born in 1962; I was born in 1973. Not that much younger than you chief, but apparently, a little more enlightened and a little more comfortable around women with a brain and a spine.
You also suggest that I talk to my dad about this and listen to his comments. First off, my dad is 78 years old and has been married forever. He doesn't know the first thing about talking to women he might find interesting. Secondly, my dad works with and around strong women all the time and sees them as people and equals, not window dressing, chefs and babysitters.
It's 2014. Join the real world. Or, at the very least, don't keep your daughter from doing so.
These responses to this misogynist make me very happy ❤️0
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