Leaving your child at home alone??
Replies
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My friend works for CPS and she said it really depends on the child's maturity. Our state does not have minimum age. My 10 and 8 yr old are home for an hour or so after school by themselves, and they have been just fine. DH works 5 mins away and we check in often.0
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My son turned 10 this year and the only time we leave him alone is when we take the short trip to the store. He knows what he's supposed to do and not supposed to do, he knows the emergency numbers & my cell, he knows not to let anyone inside the house. Still, I freak out when we do it, of course, but sometimes you have to let them prove that they are capable of it.
Same here... although I think it depends on the individual child and their maturity level.
This right here!
My son was about 10/11, but he was very mature at that age. Now my daughter just turned 12 and I JUST started leaving her alone while I run to the store, etc... Different personalities, maturity levels, etc...0 -
10 for short trips and 12 for longer
I don't have kinds, but this is the age I was at. But the rule was I wasn't allowed to use the stove. Probably a good rule considering my clumsiness!0 -
I think my parents started leaving my sister and I alone for short periods of time (ie, a trip to the grocery store, taking one kid somewhere, or occasionally the time between the end of the school day and one parent or the other getting home from work) when I was 8 and my sister was 6 (but my sister had to be with me). However - I was a pretty responsible kid (I was already cooking and doing laundry at that age!), we knew all the neighbors, we had a list of family/friends we could call if anything happened, and we never really got up to much trouble anyway.
That said, it *definitely* depends on the kid. I'd say 10 is probably more usual.0 -
My son is 18. I think he needs more supervision now than he did at 10. Sigh.
I think summertime_girl is kidding. BUT . . . we began to leave my sons home alone when the older one was 11 years, I think. But not for very long. The amount of time we were away slowly got longer for a few years. But then, when kids are about 14 years or 15 years, you have to cut it back again, or maybe not leave them alone at all. Certainly, not overnight -- ever. I don't care if your child is a good kid. Certainly, mine were. But, temptation is temptation and a teenager is not old enough to handle temptation -- not with peer pressure the way it is.
I definitely remember what happened whenever we found that a friend's parents were away . . .0 -
I agree with those that have said it also depends on the maturity of the child.
My oldest I could leave alone at 9 and could even trust him with my youngest who was 3 at the time for short grocery store trips but could not leave the middle child (6) with them. I still have a problem leaving the middle child who is now 10 alone or with the youngest who is now 7. The oldest now 13 does great on his own and with the other two now.
I am happy not to have to pay day care expenses this year during the summertime.
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Just this year, and my girls are 10 & 11. I only leave them for very short periods, like a quick trip to the store for milk. The law where I am in California has no age minimum, just that they are "mature" enough to be able to be safe.0
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By law kids here can't be left unattended/home alone under the age of 10. BUT, at 10 they can not be in charge of caring for any other siblings. At 12, when they can take the provincial babysitter program, they are then able to care for younger siblings.
My daughter just turned 7, and she is pretty reliable already, so, we will see what comes when she is 10.0 -
My sister and I were 8 and 10 when we were left home alone all day to babysit our younger siblings, 6 and 4. We were too poor to afford babysitters and we lived in the rural Midwest where it wouldn't be as likely to be noticed. Not recommending that, but I suspect it happens quite often.0
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Totally depends on the child. My now 10 year old would be alone for short trips to the store or for me to walk the dog around the block (if she didn't want to come with) when she was about 8. It was never more than 10-15 minutes.
When she was 9, I let her babysit her 1 year old sister for 30 minutes while I went to the store but their dad was working in the backyard so she wasn't really alone and she knew she could get him any second. But I paid her for it and I think it is a great way for her to learn more responsibility. They just played with toys on the floor and watched cartoons. No biggie but I wouldn't have done that without my husband in the backyard.
I let her walk after school about a mile to a kids center but I will not let her walk home and be along a couple hours until I get off work. Plus she has a large group of friends she walks with.0 -
We've not yet left our daughter alone, though she keeps telling me it's fine to do so :laugh: She is very responsible for her age (7), and very, very independent. We're still not ready to leave her alone, however.
This summer we'll probably have my step-son (13) start babysitting for the first time. Funnily enough, Amelia is in many ways more responsible and self-reliant than he is, but he has an extremely strong sense of right and wrong. If anything he'll probably be over protective/controlling of his sister.
I think that you just have to make the call on a child by child basis. I've known 20+ year olds that frankly can barely look after themselves. :laugh:0 -
I grew up in the inner-city between 2 housing projects with a high crime rate, yet I was a latch-key from age 4 (entered Kindergarten early) and was home alone for 30-90 min until my Mom got home. For the 1st year or so she paid some older kids to walk me home (~ 5 blocks), but afterwards I was completely solo. I was age 6 the first time I was left home all day (e.g. >8 hours). I even cooked my own dinner that day (real stove, not m-wave).
I readily admit that I was an anomaly and was very mature for my age IF I was told exactly the Do's and Don'ts. It would've been another story if left to my own devices in unfamiliar territory (aka "Street Smarts") I've looked it up and Virginia doesn't have any statewide laws regarding such matters, so it's left to parents' discretion.
I now live in the Suburbs in a "safe" neighborhood and I couldn't imagine leaving a child the same age to do the same things I did, especially in today's online era. I grew up in the 70s-80s, so if I was locked up in the house, I was "relatively" safe. Nowadays with SMS/Internet/Cells etc. you get into so much trouble while sitting in the living room alone.0 -
I walked home from school and stayed there alone for 1-2 hours when I was 7, then again my parents sent me alone to violin lessons when I was 8 (took a buss into town right after school).
I have an older sister and when I was 12 and she was 15 my parents left her in charge and went for a week long trip to deal with family issues on the other side of the country. I mean they had someone check up on us once a day, and my sister called twice a day, but other then that it was just us two. My sister was responsible, I would have stayed up all night if I was allowed to.
Edit: Our neighbor was a friend of the family and we knew that if there were problems we should go over to her.0 -
Totally agree! left my son alone at 10 and have said many times I trusted him then more than I do now.My son is 18. I think he needs more supervision now than he did at 10. Sigh.0 -
I was an 80's latchkey kid growing up. So, I was about my son's age, which is about 6, when I would walk home from school and fix me something to eat and sit in front of the tv, until my mother got home from work. But, like I said, it was the early 80's then. I would never leave my son home alone even if he was 21, being that he is autistic, but if he wasn't, it would depend on my child's behaviors and if I could trust my child home alone. However, I think a good age would be 12 or 13 years old. No younger than this age. But, that is just my opinion.0
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Definitely not overnight!My son is 18. I think he needs more supervision now than he did at 10. Sigh.
I think summertime_girl is kidding. BUT . . . we began to leave my sons home alone when the older one was 11 years, I think. But not for very long. The amount of time we were away slowly got longer for a few years. But then, when kids are about 14 years or 15 years, you have to cut it back again, or maybe not leave them alone at all. Certainly, not overnight -- ever. I don't care if your child is a good kid. Certainly, mine were. But, temptation is temptation and a teenager is not old enough to handle temptation -- not with peer pressure the way it is.
I definitely remember what happened whenever we found that a friend's parents were away . . .0 -
I believe they have to be 12. But it's a maturity/personality thing. My oldest (15yo girl) has been capable since she was 10. My second girl is 12, and she can, but I make special considerations for her.0
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I grew up in the inner-city between 2 housing projects with a high crime rate, yet I was a latch-key from age 4 (entered Kindergarten early) and was home alone for 30-90 min until my Mom got home. For the 1st year or so she paid some older kids to walk me home (~ 5 blocks), but afterwards I was completely solo. I was age 6 the first time I was left home all day (e.g. >8 hours). I even cooked my own dinner that day (real stove, not m-wave).
I readily admit that I was an anomaly and was very mature for my age IF I was told exactly the Do's and Don'ts. It would've been another story if left to my own devices in unfamiliar territory (aka "Street Smarts") I've looked it up and Virginia doesn't have any statewide laws regarding such matters, so it's left to parents' discretion.
I now live in the Suburbs in a "safe" neighborhood and I couldn't imagine leaving a child the same age to do the same things I did, especially in today's online era. I grew up in the 70s-80s, so if I was locked up in the house, I was "relatively" safe. Nowadays with SMS/Internet/Cells etc. you get into so much trouble while sitting in the living room alone.
I guess most of us on here were latchkey kids. It just depends on the area and how mature the children are in question, being left home alone, I suppose. I grew up in Missouri, so it was not very fast-paced at all. Most of us on here, didn't have much technology either. I know I just had a tv with cable to keep me entertained and a swing set in the backyard, but I wasn't allowed to go outside once I got home until my mom got home.0 -
This depends on the child. Some kids are too scared to be left alone even in their early teens, others act like they are 5 going on 30. My stepson stayed home from school with a cold when he was 11. I worked nights and my husband worked days, but there was a small gap of 2 hours between when I left for work and my husband got home. My stepson was so unphased that he slept the whole time.
My brother and I were left alone after school every day when I was 9 and he was 7. We used to beat the crap out of each other sometimes, but as far as danger from things like a gas leak we were very responsible and knew how to operate the gas shut off and circuit breakers etc.0 -
This depends on the child. Some kids are too scared to be left alone even in their early teens, others act like they are 5 going on 30. My stepson stayed home from school with a cold when he was 11. I worked nights and my husband worked days, but there was a small gap of 2 hours between when I left for work and my husband got home. My stepson was so unphased that he slept the whole time.
My brother and I were left alone after school every day when I was 9 and he was 7. We used to beat the crap out of each other sometimes, but as far as danger from things like a gas leak we were very responsible and knew how to operate the gas shut off and circuit breakers etc.
That is funny about you and your brother. I use to beat the crap out of my little sister for being my mom's favorite spoiled brat. LOL. Nothing better than your parents leaving you home alone, so that you can settle some sibling rivalry issues. haha.0 -
My twins have been home completely alone for a few hours here and there (they're 8 years old); they are alone each morning when I leave for work/before the bus arrives. My children have been minimally monitored for several years. My mother lives with us and works nights. In the summer and on vacation time, she sleeps and my children are home and 'on their own'. They clean their own messes {most of the time}, they make their own breakfast, lunch & snacks, they can pick out weather and socially appropriate clothing, they brush their teeth and take their medication on a schedule, they have virtually monitored tv/computer/gaming time. I have given them the tools to be extremely self-sufficient at a young age and they have done well being minimally monitored from age 6 through the present0
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My son is 8 and I feel he's responsible enough now. Yet, I doubt it will actually be done on my part until close to 10 years old.0
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at what age did you leave your child at home alone for the first time? not the whole day, just for like an hour? Just curious on other peoples opinions? I have a almost 5 year old and know that wont be ANY TIME SOON!!! Just curious on the age that would be ok to do it! I know every state has different laws but i know not everyone follows them! So what age did you leave them alone?
Thanks
In British Columbia it's illegal to leave your child at home under the age of 12 for any length of time. A child must be 12 to babysit any other child and hold a credible Baby Sitting Course Certificate as well.0 -
My son is 11, and I'm a very apprehensive mom, so he's never been home alone.
However, I was a latchkey from age 7, spending entire afternoons at home by myself, for years, and I was fine.
I think it depends a lot on your kid's general awareness and maturity.
But it doesn't matter when anyone else does it, you'll do it when you're comfortable with it.0 -
The law where I live is 12 years old.0
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The law where I live is 12 years old.
The Law rules over any 'maturity' levels in my home. I was 10 and babysitting infants over night for relatives which is not appropriate even though I was mature enough and skilled enough. I wouldn't leave my child alone with a ten year old in this day and age. Plus, even that is illegal where I am living as well.0 -
I was left at home for a few hours at a time since I was 8 or 9. They knew as long as they left the Nintendo out, I wouldn't get into any trouble, so they just locked the door behind them and that was that.0
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Mine was 10 when I would leave for work before he left for school, and he'd be home before I got off (about an hour each). He's 11 now, and we go shopping during the day without him, or go to the gym while he sits at home. He knows the rules, lock all the doors, keep your cell phone on you, don't cook food (he can have a snack, but no cooking). He has done so well! The school librarian lives next to us, so she kind of guides him to school because they leave at the same time, the teacher knows that he's on his own so they make sure he has his phone and his house key. I don't leave him home at night though. I trip out when I'm home alone at night lol. He did have one incident when we first started this routine, he tripped out because there was a strange vehicle parked infront of the house, I didn't blame him, and he was quite funny when I got home. He had all the curtains closed, doors and windows locked, and he had a mini baseball bat in hand when he came up the stairs lol, but he's way more comfortable at home by himself now.
Edited to add: He stays home all day by himself when he has PD days or time off at school. I make sure he has lunch in the fridge that he can just grab and go, and he eats breakfast while I'm still there. He has no problem hanging out in the basement all day watching tv and playing video games. He isn't allowed out of the house while I'm gone, and I really think he enjoys the responsibility of being home alone, with no one to tell him what to do lol0 -
The law where I live is 12 years old.
The Law rules over any 'maturity' levels in my home. I was 10 and babysitting infants over night for relatives which is not appropriate even though I was mature enough and skilled enough. I wouldn't leave my child alone with a ten year old in this day and age. Plus, even that is illegal where I am living as well.
Our law states that "it depends on maturity"...kind of ridiculous.0 -
I think summertime_girl is kidding. BUT . . . we began to leave my sons home alone when the older one was 11 years, I think. But not for very long. The amount of time we were away slowly got longer for a few years. But then, when kids are about 14 years or 15 years, you have to cut it back again, or maybe not leave them alone at all. Certainly, not overnight -- ever. I don't care if your child is a good kid. Certainly, mine were. But, temptation is temptation and a teenager is not old enough to handle temptation -- not with peer pressure the way it is.
I definitely remember what happened whenever we found that a friend's parents were away . . .
The trick is letting the teenagers think they are unsupervised so that they can make some mistakes in a controlled environment to minimize the damage. They are still learning how to use common sense. Allowing them to make some (minor) mistakes and feel the consequences of their decisions will save their lives later on.
I suspected that my stepson was using my car when he was 15, but didn't have any hard evidence aside from a feeling that my car was using way more fuel than normal. I asked my neighbor who was a local police officer to keep an eye out for my vehicle during his graveyard shift patrols.
Sure enough, within a week he was caught driving the car. He had three friends with him in the car and they were pulling cookies on an unpaved section of road. (Not sure how that works in a Toyota Corolla, LOL). All four boys were ****ting bricks at the thought of having their parents come to the police station at 3am. Nothing happened and no one was hurt, but they learned that they weren't nearly as sneaky as they thought they were. :laugh:0
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