Leaving your child at home alone??

Options
135

Replies

  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    Options
    We've not yet left our daughter alone, though she keeps telling me it's fine to do so :laugh: She is very responsible for her age (7), and very, very independent. We're still not ready to leave her alone, however.

    This summer we'll probably have my step-son (13) start babysitting for the first time. Funnily enough, Amelia is in many ways more responsible and self-reliant than he is, but he has an extremely strong sense of right and wrong. If anything he'll probably be over protective/controlling of his sister.

    I think that you just have to make the call on a child by child basis. I've known 20+ year olds that frankly can barely look after themselves. :laugh:
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
    Options
    I grew up in the inner-city between 2 housing projects with a high crime rate, yet I was a latch-key from age 4 (entered Kindergarten early) and was home alone for 30-90 min until my Mom got home. For the 1st year or so she paid some older kids to walk me home (~ 5 blocks), but afterwards I was completely solo. I was age 6 the first time I was left home all day (e.g. >8 hours). I even cooked my own dinner that day (real stove, not m-wave).
    I readily admit that I was an anomaly and was very mature for my age IF I was told exactly the Do's and Don'ts. It would've been another story if left to my own devices in unfamiliar territory (aka "Street Smarts") I've looked it up and Virginia doesn't have any statewide laws regarding such matters, so it's left to parents' discretion.
    I now live in the Suburbs in a "safe" neighborhood and I couldn't imagine leaving a child the same age to do the same things I did, especially in today's online era. I grew up in the 70s-80s, so if I was locked up in the house, I was "relatively" safe. Nowadays with SMS/Internet/Cells etc. you get into so much trouble while sitting in the living room alone.
  • Dugleik
    Dugleik Posts: 125
    Options
    I walked home from school and stayed there alone for 1-2 hours when I was 7, then again my parents sent me alone to violin lessons when I was 8 (took a buss into town right after school).

    I have an older sister and when I was 12 and she was 15 my parents left her in charge and went for a week long trip to deal with family issues on the other side of the country. I mean they had someone check up on us once a day, and my sister called twice a day, but other then that it was just us two. My sister was responsible, I would have stayed up all night if I was allowed to.

    Edit: Our neighbor was a friend of the family and we knew that if there were problems we should go over to her.
  • Runfaster14
    Runfaster14 Posts: 90 Member
    Options
    My son is 18. I think he needs more supervision now than he did at 10. Sigh.
    Totally agree! left my son alone at 10 and have said many times I trusted him then more than I do now.
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    Options
    I was an 80's latchkey kid growing up. So, I was about my son's age, which is about 6, when I would walk home from school and fix me something to eat and sit in front of the tv, until my mother got home from work. But, like I said, it was the early 80's then. I would never leave my son home alone even if he was 21, being that he is autistic, but if he wasn't, it would depend on my child's behaviors and if I could trust my child home alone. However, I think a good age would be 12 or 13 years old. No younger than this age. But, that is just my opinion.
  • Runfaster14
    Runfaster14 Posts: 90 Member
    Options
    My son is 18. I think he needs more supervision now than he did at 10. Sigh.

    I think summertime_girl is kidding. BUT . . . we began to leave my sons home alone when the older one was 11 years, I think. But not for very long. The amount of time we were away slowly got longer for a few years. But then, when kids are about 14 years or 15 years, you have to cut it back again, or maybe not leave them alone at all. Certainly, not overnight -- ever. I don't care if your child is a good kid. Certainly, mine were. But, temptation is temptation and a teenager is not old enough to handle temptation -- not with peer pressure the way it is.
    I definitely remember what happened whenever we found that a friend's parents were away . . .
    Definitely not overnight!
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    Options
    I believe they have to be 12. But it's a maturity/personality thing. My oldest (15yo girl) has been capable since she was 10. My second girl is 12, and she can, but I make special considerations for her.
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    Options
    I grew up in the inner-city between 2 housing projects with a high crime rate, yet I was a latch-key from age 4 (entered Kindergarten early) and was home alone for 30-90 min until my Mom got home. For the 1st year or so she paid some older kids to walk me home (~ 5 blocks), but afterwards I was completely solo. I was age 6 the first time I was left home all day (e.g. >8 hours). I even cooked my own dinner that day (real stove, not m-wave).
    I readily admit that I was an anomaly and was very mature for my age IF I was told exactly the Do's and Don'ts. It would've been another story if left to my own devices in unfamiliar territory (aka "Street Smarts") I've looked it up and Virginia doesn't have any statewide laws regarding such matters, so it's left to parents' discretion.
    I now live in the Suburbs in a "safe" neighborhood and I couldn't imagine leaving a child the same age to do the same things I did, especially in today's online era. I grew up in the 70s-80s, so if I was locked up in the house, I was "relatively" safe. Nowadays with SMS/Internet/Cells etc. you get into so much trouble while sitting in the living room alone.

    I guess most of us on here were latchkey kids. It just depends on the area and how mature the children are in question, being left home alone, I suppose. I grew up in Missouri, so it was not very fast-paced at all. Most of us on here, didn't have much technology either. I know I just had a tv with cable to keep me entertained and a swing set in the backyard, but I wasn't allowed to go outside once I got home until my mom got home.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    Options
    This depends on the child. Some kids are too scared to be left alone even in their early teens, others act like they are 5 going on 30. My stepson stayed home from school with a cold when he was 11. I worked nights and my husband worked days, but there was a small gap of 2 hours between when I left for work and my husband got home. My stepson was so unphased that he slept the whole time.

    My brother and I were left alone after school every day when I was 9 and he was 7. We used to beat the crap out of each other sometimes, but as far as danger from things like a gas leak we were very responsible and knew how to operate the gas shut off and circuit breakers etc.
  • amaysngrace
    amaysngrace Posts: 742 Member
    Options
    This depends on the child. Some kids are too scared to be left alone even in their early teens, others act like they are 5 going on 30. My stepson stayed home from school with a cold when he was 11. I worked nights and my husband worked days, but there was a small gap of 2 hours between when I left for work and my husband got home. My stepson was so unphased that he slept the whole time.

    My brother and I were left alone after school every day when I was 9 and he was 7. We used to beat the crap out of each other sometimes, but as far as danger from things like a gas leak we were very responsible and knew how to operate the gas shut off and circuit breakers etc.


    That is funny about you and your brother. I use to beat the crap out of my little sister for being my mom's favorite spoiled brat. LOL. Nothing better than your parents leaving you home alone, so that you can settle some sibling rivalry issues. haha.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    Options
    My twins have been home completely alone for a few hours here and there (they're 8 years old); they are alone each morning when I leave for work/before the bus arrives. My children have been minimally monitored for several years. My mother lives with us and works nights. In the summer and on vacation time, she sleeps and my children are home and 'on their own'. They clean their own messes {most of the time}, they make their own breakfast, lunch & snacks, they can pick out weather and socially appropriate clothing, they brush their teeth and take their medication on a schedule, they have virtually monitored tv/computer/gaming time. I have given them the tools to be extremely self-sufficient at a young age and they have done well being minimally monitored from age 6 through the present
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    Options
    My son is 8 and I feel he's responsible enough now. Yet, I doubt it will actually be done on my part until close to 10 years old.
  • GoreWhore72
    GoreWhore72 Posts: 190 Member
    Options
    at what age did you leave your child at home alone for the first time? not the whole day, just for like an hour? Just curious on other peoples opinions? I have a almost 5 year old and know that wont be ANY TIME SOON!!! Just curious on the age that would be ok to do it! I know every state has different laws but i know not everyone follows them! So what age did you leave them alone?

    Thanks
    :wink:

    In British Columbia it's illegal to leave your child at home under the age of 12 for any length of time. A child must be 12 to babysit any other child and hold a credible Baby Sitting Course Certificate as well.
  • xilka
    xilka Posts: 308 Member
    Options
    My son is 11, and I'm a very apprehensive mom, so he's never been home alone.

    However, I was a latchkey from age 7, spending entire afternoons at home by myself, for years, and I was fine.
    I think it depends a lot on your kid's general awareness and maturity.

    But it doesn't matter when anyone else does it, you'll do it when you're comfortable with it.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    Options
    The law where I live is 12 years old.
  • GoreWhore72
    GoreWhore72 Posts: 190 Member
    Options
    The law where I live is 12 years old.

    The Law rules over any 'maturity' levels in my home. I was 10 and babysitting infants over night for relatives which is not appropriate even though I was mature enough and skilled enough. I wouldn't leave my child alone with a ten year old in this day and age. Plus, even that is illegal where I am living as well.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    Options
    I was left at home for a few hours at a time since I was 8 or 9. They knew as long as they left the Nintendo out, I wouldn't get into any trouble, so they just locked the door behind them and that was that.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    Options
    Mine was 10 when I would leave for work before he left for school, and he'd be home before I got off (about an hour each). He's 11 now, and we go shopping during the day without him, or go to the gym while he sits at home. He knows the rules, lock all the doors, keep your cell phone on you, don't cook food (he can have a snack, but no cooking). He has done so well! The school librarian lives next to us, so she kind of guides him to school because they leave at the same time, the teacher knows that he's on his own so they make sure he has his phone and his house key. I don't leave him home at night though. I trip out when I'm home alone at night lol. He did have one incident when we first started this routine, he tripped out because there was a strange vehicle parked infront of the house, I didn't blame him, and he was quite funny when I got home. He had all the curtains closed, doors and windows locked, and he had a mini baseball bat in hand when he came up the stairs lol, but he's way more comfortable at home by himself now.

    Edited to add: He stays home all day by himself when he has PD days or time off at school. I make sure he has lunch in the fridge that he can just grab and go, and he eats breakfast while I'm still there. He has no problem hanging out in the basement all day watching tv and playing video games. He isn't allowed out of the house while I'm gone, and I really think he enjoys the responsibility of being home alone, with no one to tell him what to do lol
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    Options
    The law where I live is 12 years old.

    The Law rules over any 'maturity' levels in my home. I was 10 and babysitting infants over night for relatives which is not appropriate even though I was mature enough and skilled enough. I wouldn't leave my child alone with a ten year old in this day and age. Plus, even that is illegal where I am living as well.

    Our law states that "it depends on maturity"...kind of ridiculous.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    Options

    I think summertime_girl is kidding. BUT . . . we began to leave my sons home alone when the older one was 11 years, I think. But not for very long. The amount of time we were away slowly got longer for a few years. But then, when kids are about 14 years or 15 years, you have to cut it back again, or maybe not leave them alone at all. Certainly, not overnight -- ever. I don't care if your child is a good kid. Certainly, mine were. But, temptation is temptation and a teenager is not old enough to handle temptation -- not with peer pressure the way it is.
    I definitely remember what happened whenever we found that a friend's parents were away . . .

    The trick is letting the teenagers think they are unsupervised so that they can make some mistakes in a controlled environment to minimize the damage. They are still learning how to use common sense. Allowing them to make some (minor) mistakes and feel the consequences of their decisions will save their lives later on.

    I suspected that my stepson was using my car when he was 15, but didn't have any hard evidence aside from a feeling that my car was using way more fuel than normal. I asked my neighbor who was a local police officer to keep an eye out for my vehicle during his graveyard shift patrols.

    Sure enough, within a week he was caught driving the car. He had three friends with him in the car and they were pulling cookies on an unpaved section of road. (Not sure how that works in a Toyota Corolla, LOL). All four boys were ****ting bricks at the thought of having their parents come to the police station at 3am. Nothing happened and no one was hurt, but they learned that they weren't nearly as sneaky as they thought they were. :laugh:

Categories