Tips for a first date? (guys only..)
Scumbag_Gil
Posts: 397 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I have my first date this Friday. I have a couple of questions, and I would appreciate any input/advice from older bros who have experience in this field. Okay so when I pick her up, should I walk to her door? I'm kind of afraid of her dad opening the door, I think it would be kind of awk. I'm going to be as nervous as it is, don't need her dad intimidating me.. So I was thinking about opening the car door for her and closing it. Is that too "soft" of me? I don't want to come off as some sort of softy. Well I want to be nice/ polite yet stay firm and show my dominance as a guy and show her I'm in charge. Also I was thinking while we are driving to the restaurant I was gonna reach in the back seat and surprise her with some flowers. Is that too much? If not what kind of flowers? Should I pay for her meal? I've done some research and a lot of guys say you shouldn't have to pay for everything on the first date because there might not be a second. Lastly..should I bring "protection" just in case..? Not sure if I missed anything. I appreciate any input. Ty !
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I suggest keeping it simple and be yourself.
Walk up to the door and introduce yourself when/if you meet the dad. It may be intimidating, but that is just the nature of the beast.
Opening/closing the car door is optional. I'm that man that does it no matter if its my daughter, mom, or a lady friend. It might be too old school for some young ladies, but its who I am as a person. There is nothing "soft" about showing manners.
You can be in charge, just remember there is a fine line of coming off as a douche especially on the first date. Don't be a douche, keep it simple.
Flowers, I wouldn't.
Dinner~If I asked her out, then I would pay. If she asked me out, It really depends on the date and individual. I usually pay anyway.
Protection? Yes. Although I never go on a date with the intentions of something happening. Keep it simple.
I think the most important advice I can give you is to listen to what she has to say. Look her directly in the eyes and close your mouth and listen to what she is telling you. A lady always tells you what is interesting to her and what makes her happy if you give her the opportunity to. The art of conversation is much easier than a one way speech of who I am.
Then if the date goes well, all those things she was telling you...if you were listening, makes it quite easy on suggesting a second date. Keep it simple.
Good luck...0 -
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As stated before, there is nothing wrong with doing the Chivalry thing at all... Introduce yourself to the parent's and feel free to certainly shake hands. Engage in small talk banter with them to show you are not some creep. As for flowers, I always like to give flowers, but not a whole dozen of the samew thing and not from the gas station. I usually go with 6 roses with 6 carnations some greenery and Baby's Breath... All flowers white, with the exception of one of each being re (That's just my thing).
As for protection, always have it with you, always, always, always... Even if nothing happens, it's just a safer way to live.
One last "Guy" tip for you... NEVER go on a date with a loaded weapon... It's a metaphor, but read between the lines on the meaning.0 -
I can post if I want to and you can't stop me! *neener neener*0
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One last "Guy" tip for you... NEVER go on a date with a loaded weapon... It's a metaphor, but read between the lines on the meaning.
This is the worst advice ever. A loaded weapon is a good thing. It makes a guy more masculine, and masculinity drives attraction.0 -
Why would you want "guys only" to post? You don't want input from women as to how they like to be treated? As a woman AND a parent, I know how I'd like the date to go.
Walking her to the door and opening car doors for her is not "soft", it's sweet and gentlemanly. Most women appreciate it. Take her somewhere fun that's not too loud so you can actually talk and get to know each other to see if there will be a second date.
If you asked her out on a formal date, I would say yes, you pay. I would keep it simple and not too expensive, in case things don't work out and you're out $200.
I'm not a flower person, personally, but if you know she likes them go ahead. I wouldn't go for anything big or expensive or fancy, that might come off as desperate or creepy for a first date. Maybe just a single rose as a gesture?
If you run into her dad, SMILE, step forward, extend your hand and say "nice to meet you sir." If you are nervous, fake it til you make it. Don't be a shady little douche who looks guilty around his prized daughter, it'll make him wonder what you have to hide and make him suspicious of you. If things go well with this girl you don't want her dad hating you. (First hand experience, here)
(Not calling YOU personally a shady douche, btw :laugh: )0 -
Despite having a vagina, I'm going to reply to this.
Walking to the door...
If my dad found out some guy came to pick me up and DIDN'T come to the door, he might not let him come back. At the very least he would have a bad first impression.
Opening car doors is not soft. (At least not soft in a bad way.) It's a nice gesture.
I think flowers are lovely, but... it can be kind of awkward in that situation. You give them to her in the car and she had nowhere to put them. So she just has to hold them awkwardly in her lap and then lay them back down in the back seat when you get out. Then hopefully remember to grab them when you take her home. If you brought them to the door, she would have a chance to put them inside, but that means possibly entering her house or hanging around longer than you want to. I would probably skip the flowers, or like mentioned before, maybe present her with a single stem when you say goodnight to her. That way there's no bulky flowers to carry around.0 -
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I suggest keeping it simple and be yourself.
Walk up to the door and introduce yourself when/if you meet the dad. It may be intimidating, but that is just the nature of the beast.
Opening/closing the car door is optional. I'm that man that does it no matter if its my daughter, mom, or a lady friend. It might be too old school for some young ladies, but its who I am as a person. There is nothing "soft" about showing manners.
You can be in charge, just remember there is a fine line of coming off as a douche especially on the first date. Don't be a douche, keep it simple.
Flowers, I wouldn't.
Dinner~If I asked her out, then I would pay. If she asked me out, It really depends on the date and individual. I usually pay anyway.
Protection? Yes. Although I never go on a date with the intentions of something happening. Keep it simple.
I think the most important advice I can give you is to listen to what she has to say. Look her directly in the eyes and close your mouth and listen to what she is telling you. A lady always tells you what is interesting to her and what makes her happy if you give her the opportunity to. The art of conversation is much easier than a one way speech of who I am.
Then if the date goes well, all those things she was telling you...if you were listening, makes it quite easy on suggesting a second date. Keep it simple.
Good luck...
All of this0 -
Remember to tense your triceps at all times and you'll have nothing to worry about mate.0
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I can post if I want to and you can't stop me! *neener neener*
Yeah, you're not the boss of me! *scatters tampons and girly magazines all over*0 -
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I agree with the women. There is a fine line between coming off as a douche or an A-hole. Make sure you are an A-Hole. A-Hole's get the ladies. Read 'I Hope They Serve Beer in Heaven' for tips on becoming an A-hole.
Goodluck Gil.
Just remember to *kitten* before you go.0 -
-1/10
try harder.0 -
I would definitely go to the door to get her! For your own sake haha
Personally, I would love it if a guy brought flowers on a first date. It's sweet and romantic!
Opening the car door is good because it shows you're a gentleman... just don't be obsessive lol
No comment on the last thing... o.o0 -
I know guys only but you sound young so you need any advice you can get.
Walk to the door and introduce yourself. Do you want her father's first impression of you to be the guy who honked the horn from the street?
Yes open her door, manors are appreciated.
Flowers, that's up to you. If you chose to gift her with flowers, not roses. That's for later. I'd go for a pretty mix of flowers.
As for dinner...did you ask her out? If you did then I would say yes, you should pay. If things go well and she has manors herself, she will pay the next time, (BUT!!! If she goes crazy with the menu and orders the most expensive thing you may still chose to pay but I would reconsider a 2nd date).
I wouldn't expect anything to go down on the first date but always bring protection. If you don't want to make her your wife, you don't want to make her a mother.
Have fun and breathe!!!0 -
I wouldn't expect anything to go down on the first date but always bring protection. If you don't want to make her your wife, you don't want to make her a mother.
^^^this
(and all the loaded vs unloaded weapon talk is cracking me the hell up! rofl! Had no idea this was an issue. May have to inquire of the hubby in a bit...hahah!)0 -
It sounds like it has all been said really.
Yes, knock on the door. You will (hopefully!) have to meet Dad at some point, so you might as well just grasp the nettle and get it over with.
Open the car door - of course! Chivalry is not dead!!
Flowers, personally, no.
Paying for dinner - yes, but if she wants to go halves or something then accept or decline graciously as you see fit.
Protection - absolutely, but don't expect to need it.
Loaded weapon - up to you, but I know what I would do!!
Above all, smile, be confident in yourself, and have a good evening. I don't know you, but it sounds like you have earned this date!! Enjoy yourself!0 -
I am a bit concerned with the name of who started the thread.....Scumbag_Gil0
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You will give a poor impression to the dad, as well as your date, if you don't walk to the door. As for the flowers, you could send her some after the date, if it was good. If you do take flowers, take them to the door so she can put them in water. As for the type of flower, definitely no roses. I personally like painted daisies or tulips. Yes, you should pay for dinner. Protection; you should always have it, but certainly don't count on it. Do you really want to date the type of girl that puts out on a first date? (Wait, don't answer that).0
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Parents love it when you talk to them, and you know with teenage girls, get good with her father, and you're getting good with her.
Chivalry is never outdated.
Flowers are a nice gesture, but where to put them? In the movies the guy always brings the girl a flower, but you don't see them anywhere after the initial scene.
We live in progressive times, it's cool if you want to pay for dinner, and it's cool if you don't. Just talk to her about it, she'll respect your opinion, and if she doesn't, well just tell her you got it from a stranger online who's a complete loon.
ALWAYS have protection, maybe you just click, maybe you don', and run into the love of your life on your way home, in any case, always better to have em and not need it, than it is to be needing em and go home cursing yourself.
NEVER go out with a loaded weapon mate, guy 101, but i'm sure you know that already.0 -
show my dominance as a guy and show her I'm in charge.
Wow. Lucky lady.0 -
based on OP's chosen name, I feel bad for this girl.0
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Seriously OP. Just be yourself, and don't be a ****head. That's about it. Don't be 'dominant', because here's a newsflash for you- women are your equal. We are not inferior, or weak. We don't need you to be big tough manly men. We don't need you to be in charge of us.
Knock on the door, be cool, don't buy flowers because as another poster mentioned they'll be a pain in the *kitten* to lug around all night. It's a nice gesture, but maybe suited for another time. You don't need to open doors for her but if you're on that side of the car anyway or first to the restaurant then go for gold. She might also hold doors for you. Manners are universal.
Take protection but do not expect anything and do not pressure or coerce her (this advice applies to every woman you ever meet for the rest of your life forever). If it happens- good onya if not, well, it's not the end of the world.
Just be kind and respectful. Easy.
And next time you want advice on what women like- best to ask women.
Good luck, mate.0 -
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I know you said guys only but that just makes me immediately want to see what I'm missing lol. If you want a female opinion, then I would say that you are overthinking it way too much. She said yes to the date so she obviously like you. Just be yourself, do what feels right and see how it goes. Good luck0
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you should always be yourself!
if your a gentlemanly type- then open doors etc, dont do this purely for the first few dats- a girl will be only disappointed when she falls for you and you turn in to a jerk!
source: experience!!!0 -
Call her 10 mins before you get there so she will be ready standing on the curb when you pull up.
No flowers.
Bring protection.....some nunchucks....you can't be too safe nowadays.
Pay for half the date. You don't want a needy woman who can't pay her own way.
Good luck.0 -
Seriously OP. Just be yourself, and don't be a ****head. That's about it. Don't be 'dominant', because here's a newsflash for you- women are your equal. We are not inferior, or weak. We don't need you to be big tough manly men. We don't need you to be in charge of us.
Knock on the door, be cool, don't buy flowers because as another poster mentioned they'll be a pain in the *kitten* to lug around all night. It's a nice gesture, but maybe suited for another time. You don't need to open doors for her but if you're on that side of the car anyway or first to the restaurant then go for gold. She might also hold doors for you. Manners are universal.
Take protection but do not expect anything and do not pressure or coerce her (this advice applies to every woman you ever meet for the rest of your life forever). If it happens- good onya if not, well, it's not the end of the world.
Just be kind and respectful. Easy.
And next time you want advice on what women like- best to ask women.
Good luck, mate.
Spot on! Took the words right out of my mind!
Good luck on your date, OP!0
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