Do you leave your kids alone in the car?

DSTMT

I don't have kids unfortunately, but if I did I think it would depend on a lot of things, like their age, the length of time, the distance from the store...but aren't kids allowed to babysit at the age of 12, legally? So a 12 year old can watch someone else's kids, but can't be left alone in a car for a couple of minutes?

My parents left me alone in the car when I was a kid and they needed to just run in and grab something, and my only instructions were "don't touch ANYTHING"...they were more concerned about me getting it into my head to try driving around the parking lot than they were worried about abduction lol mostly because they knew I wasn't an idiot and wouldn't open the door for a random stranger even under the age of 10.

ScorpionQwean

Double digits for everything in life - as soon as my youngest reached 10; that's when I left them alone (12/10).

PBsMommy

Ok, I seriously have to ask...where are people getting these random age rules from???

EVERY kid is different! Some kids can play with 6+ toys at 4 years old...some adults may still find them to be choking hazards...Some kids are mature enough to be left in a car for 2 minutes at 8 years old...Some adults might start licking the window because they can't stand the pressure of the responsibility.

Look at your child AS THEY ARE NOW and make your judgements. And, unless you see a toddler left in a car alone, don't judge other parents when you don't know anything about their kids.

Geez, people!

I can only speak for myself, but it's not really "rules", just what I am comfortable with.

However, I agree and I personally don't judge what other parents do with their kids. Unless a child is in danger or harm, I follow the moto "not my kid, not my problem."

rml_16

NM. I think I missed the point. Apologies.

fbmandy55

If I'm going inside somewhere, no. My 6 year old always comes with me. When he is a little bit older (front seat age) then maybe, if I can see him from where I am at.

That being said, my mom left us in the car all the time as kids (she is a Realtor) but not until my brother and I were 8 and 10 or older.

PBsMommy

If you do that in Alberta Canada and someone reports you (and they do) the police come and charge you. Even if you leave before they make it there they go to your home and charge you.

Harsh yes, but effective.

Just out of curiosity, do they use an age guideline or is it any "child" under 18?

I would just find it kind of silly if they could charge for a "child" more than competent enough to drive the said vehicle they were left in.

Sovictorrious

I never leave my kids in the car because I just rather not have some nosy person call the cops on me. Then It will be like the scene in the Color Purple when Sofia went crazy.

sullus

I would never do it...not in this day and time. No way, no how.

You do realize that child abductions in 2014 are exactly the same as child abductions in, say, 1970, right? Statistically, it isn't any more likely now (less than 1% of all child abductions are by strangers) than it was when we were kids.

You just hear more about it now.

I feel so sorry for children now. They can't even go outside and play freely for a few hours anymore.

In the US, do you have any idea how many kids a year are abducted by strangers?

About 100. That's it. 100.

Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

Not to derail the thread or anything, but THIS pisses me off. Children who are abducted by estranged parents don't matter as much? You obviously don't know anything about parental or familial abductions. Some last just as long, or longer, than stranger abductions. Some come with more physical, mental and/or sexual abuse than stranger abductions...and all at the hands of a "trusted" family member.

No one abduction is any less important than another.

Get your facts straight before you make comments like that.

And, PS, this is coming from someone who was abducted by her mother for ten years and had to deal with everything that entailed. But, I guess "nothing to see here."

Stupid word I'll get a strike for saying that rhymes with witch.

I'm sorry for what you went through. But, I have far more concern for a child kidnapped by a violent stranger than I do for one kidnapped by a non-custodial parent.

_JPunky

I would never do it...not in this day and time. No way, no how.

You do realize that child abductions in 2014 are exactly the same as child abductions in, say, 1970, right? Statistically, it isn't any more likely now (less than 1% of all child abductions are by strangers) than it was when we were kids.

You just hear more about it now.

I feel so sorry for children now. They can't even go outside and play freely for a few hours anymore.

In the US, do you have any idea how many kids a year are abducted by strangers?

About 100. That's it. 100.

Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

Not to derail the thread or anything, but THIS pisses me off. Children who are abducted by estranged parents don't matter as much? You obviously don't know anything about parental or familial abductions. Some last just as long, or longer, than stranger abductions. Some come with more physical, mental and/or sexual abuse than stranger abductions...and all at the hands of a "trusted" family member.

No one abduction is any less important than another.

Get your facts straight before you make comments like that.

And, PS, this is coming from someone who was abducted by her mother for ten years and had to deal with everything that entailed. But, I guess "nothing to see here."

Stupid word I'll get a strike for saying that rhymes with witch.

You have COMPLETELY missed the point.

The people who are afraid to leave their children alone in the car are not concerned about another parent or aunt or whatever showing up and taking them. They are afraid of The Big Bad Stranger.

IF you have reason for concern about an estranged spouse or whatever, obviously that is a different conversation.

@rml - No, I do understand the point of the car issue. And I'm on the side of people judging based on their child's age and maturity level. My issue is was with this comment. "Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

rml_16

If you do that in Alberta Canada and someone reports you (and they do) the police come and charge you. Even if you leave before they make it there they go to your home and charge you.

Harsh yes, but effective.

"Effective" at what? Wasting police time and energy on something that isn't a big deal nine out of 10 times?

rml_16

I would never do it...not in this day and time. No way, no how.

You do realize that child abductions in 2014 are exactly the same as child abductions in, say, 1970, right? Statistically, it isn't any more likely now (less than 1% of all child abductions are by strangers) than it was when we were kids.

You just hear more about it now.

I feel so sorry for children now. They can't even go outside and play freely for a few hours anymore.

In the US, do you have any idea how many kids a year are abducted by strangers?

About 100. That's it. 100.

Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

Not to derail the thread or anything, but THIS pisses me off. Children who are abducted by estranged parents don't matter as much? You obviously don't know anything about parental or familial abductions. Some last just as long, or longer, than stranger abductions. Some come with more physical, mental and/or sexual abuse than stranger abductions...and all at the hands of a "trusted" family member.

No one abduction is any less important than another.

Get your facts straight before you make comments like that.

And, PS, this is coming from someone who was abducted by her mother for ten years and had to deal with everything that entailed. But, I guess "nothing to see here."

Stupid word I'll get a strike for saying that rhymes with witch.

You have COMPLETELY missed the point.

The people who are afraid to leave their children alone in the car are not concerned about another parent or aunt or whatever showing up and taking them. They are afraid of The Big Bad Stranger.

IF you have reason for concern about an estranged spouse or whatever, obviously that is a different conversation.

@rml - No, I do understand the point of the car issue. And I'm on the side of people judging based on their child's age and maturity level. My issue is was with this comment. "Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

Yeah, sorry. I re-read and edited my response.

jrue1985

"Look at the headlines in Florida'... "I live in Florida"...etc etc.. you are clearly trying to state that Florida is the worst of the worst. Guess what, I live in Maine. Look at our headlines once in a while. Ever hear of bath salts? Guess what? Pretty much started up here. hear about all the kidnappings, murders, shootings, bank robberies up here. It all happens everywhere. It all CAN happen anywhere, and Florida is no worse than anywhere else. Every state has a "bad" part, as well as a "good" part. Get off your high horse, stop trying to sound tough and "cool" cause you live in such a "dangerous" place. If you don't like it, move to another state, since all of the other 49 are so much safer.

This is for the OP, not sure why the part of her post didn't show up like I had wanted.

kelleygi

"Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

:noway:

Are you serious???????????????????

sheenarama

I don't trust my boys (5&7) in the car without me. They've played too much Mario Kart.. they'll think they know how to drive!

BamaBreezeNSaltAire

You aren't from Florida, are you? Florida is where all of the craziness happens.

:huh: :huh: :huh: :noway:

Check out the Orlando Sentinel for a week or two straight and then ask yourself if you'd leave your kid in the vehicle.

I think not!

That can happen anywhere. Not just Florida. Wow... :noway:

Oh, okay. Your baby is in serious risk anywhere. All the more reason to leave them unattended with freaks circling about like sharks. Because 1 in 1,000,000, right? Well, my kid will NOT be that 1.

Note: There has been a lot of talk around here about the insaneness of Florida, so if you think it was "wow" of me to post the Florida bit, it was in jest. And seriously, check OrlandoSentinel.com, the headlines are outrageous.

K.. *puts on tinfoil hat*

+1

She should take a look around her. Yet another ignorant statement in the public forums. Go figure.

Uhhhhhhhhh, okay. Take look around me? Sure, hence my bringing up of Florida (Orlando in particular) where the headlines read as:

RAPE
KIDNAPPING
MURDER
CAR JACKING
Also a shark is off the coast
MURDER
ROBBERY

So, a bit paranoid? Yes, totally paranoid. No doubt. Over protective? Completely. Sharks circling around cars?

a·nal·o·gy
əˈnaləjē/Submit
noun
1.
a comparison between two things, typically on the basis of their structure and for the purpose of explanation or clarification.

ex·ag·ger·ate
igˈzajəˌrāt/Submit
verb
past tense: exaggerated; past participle: exaggerated
1.
represent (something) as being larger, greater, better, or worse than it really is.
"they were apt to exaggerate any aches and pains"

I was not in any way, shape or form implying that Florida is the only place bad stuff happens at, which if you read

Note: There has been a lot of talk around here about the insaneness of Florida, so if you think it was "wow" of me to post the Florida bit, it was in jest.

(not that it doesn't make Florida any less insane)

But, alright. If you want to leave your kid in the car all the more power to you. I certainly am not judging your parenting choices. :-) They are yours and yours alone.

Did I say one word about leaving my children anywhere? Nope, didn't think so.

_JPunky

I would never do it...not in this day and time. No way, no how.

You do realize that child abductions in 2014 are exactly the same as child abductions in, say, 1970, right? Statistically, it isn't any more likely now (less than 1% of all child abductions are by strangers) than it was when we were kids.

You just hear more about it now.

I feel so sorry for children now. They can't even go outside and play freely for a few hours anymore.

In the US, do you have any idea how many kids a year are abducted by strangers?

About 100. That's it. 100.

Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

Not to derail the thread or anything, but THIS pisses me off. Children who are abducted by estranged parents don't matter as much? You obviously don't know anything about parental or familial abductions. Some last just as long, or longer, than stranger abductions. Some come with more physical, mental and/or sexual abuse than stranger abductions...and all at the hands of a "trusted" family member.

No one abduction is any less important than another.

Get your facts straight before you make comments like that.

And, PS, this is coming from someone who was abducted by her mother for ten years and had to deal with everything that entailed. But, I guess "nothing to see here."

Stupid word I'll get a strike for saying that rhymes with witch.

I'm sorry for what you went through. But, I have far more concern for a child kidnapped by a violent stranger than I do for one kidnapped by a non-custodial parent.

I do work with a group that places a lot of focus on familial abductions...and one thing that our studies show is that no parent in a healthy mental state abducts their child...but you're not at all worried about a child being taken by someone who is currently mentally unbalanced. Good for you. Twit.

PBsMommy

I don't trust my boys (5&7) in the car without me. They've played too much Mario Kart.. they'll think they know how to drive!

Completely off topic... Kind of... But I had a cousin who wrecked her first car before she turned two, luckily she wasn't hurt. She knocked a car out of gear and rolled it into a ditch.

kelleygi

I would never do it...not in this day and time. No way, no how.

You do realize that child abductions in 2014 are exactly the same as child abductions in, say, 1970, right? Statistically, it isn't any more likely now (less than 1% of all child abductions are by strangers) than it was when we were kids.

You just hear more about it now.

I feel so sorry for children now. They can't even go outside and play freely for a few hours anymore.

In the US, do you have any idea how many kids a year are abducted by strangers?

About 100. That's it. 100.

Every time I hear an amber alert, and find out it's an aunt or the estranged father or whatever, I shrug and think "nothing to see here"

Not to derail the thread or anything, but THIS pisses me off. Children who are abducted by estranged parents don't matter as much? You obviously don't know anything about parental or familial abductions. Some last just as long, or longer, than stranger abductions. Some come with more physical, mental and/or sexual abuse than stranger abductions...and all at the hands of a "trusted" family member.

No one abduction is any less important than another.

Get your facts straight before you make comments like that.

And, PS, this is coming from someone who was abducted by her mother for ten years and had to deal with everything that entailed. But, I guess "nothing to see here."

Stupid word I'll get a strike for saying that rhymes with witch.

I'm sorry for what you went through. But, I have far more concern for a child kidnapped by a violent stranger than I do for one kidnapped by a non-custodial parent.

I do work with a group that places a lot of focus on familial abductions...and one thing that our studies show is that no parent in a healthy mental state abducts their child...but you're not at all worried about a child being taken by someone who is currently mentally unbalanced. Good for you. Twit.

:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
THIS!!!!!!

ScorpionQwean

Personally, I don't think kids have the "maturity" or the "sense" to be left alone in cars. Why? Someone could be watching you for a while; know ur moves and play upon that if that person goes up to your car when u are inside. A person can be so manipulative towards kids and kids tend to "respect" adults at that young age (sure that changes as they grow, ugh).

So someone could say, "oh your mom / dad said for me to come to you and your mom / dad is wearing "this or that"... and she said for you to go inside b/c of "this or that" reason or b/c ur mom / dad needs help.... ... hell no..........any kid that young would believe that person; esp if they hear, "your mom / dad needs help and wants you in the store or whereever"

As they get older, their minds develop and can think other ways - like hmmm, this doesn't sound right.

Nothing wrong with "playing safe" especially for your children and F what others think !!

neandermagnon

Why so much focus/obession with stranger danger? There are other dangers besides that to kids left alone in cars.

I wouldn't leave my kids (age almost 4 and 7) alone in a car in Bahrain (where I live) because the climate is very hot, and I don't know (or want to test) how long it'll take on any given day for the interior of the car to get dangerously hot. I'm not leaving them alone with the engine + AC on either, due to the risk of fire (a small risk, but if it happens they can die very quickly). And there are a lot of crazy drivers here, someone drove into the back of my car while I was stationary and waiting to turn left at a junction... someone like that could quite easily drive into a parked car. another danger here is civil unrest... a few times I've seen where people have set fire to tyres in the road to disrupt traffic and one time someone threw a firebomb at a police car while I was driving on the sliproad to a highway, followed by the police shooting at the ones who threw it (about 10 metres in front of my car, nearly caused a pile up not to mention the danger from the firebomb itself).

Simply teaching your kid to stay in the car with the doors locked and only open the door to a parent is not sufficient to keep them safe in a car alone, especially on a busy road or a very hot or cold day. People often don't realise how hot a car can get even on quite a cold day. The UK police regularly warn people about it on the rare occasions there's warm weather in the UK. Kids need to know when and how to get out of the car and call for help, how to call for help, and to stand somewhere safe away from traffic and away from the car (if it's on fire or something) while they wait for help. Similar to how kids need to know when and how to call the emergency services before they're left home alone or allowed to go out to places on their own.

Yes I think it's okay to leave your kids alone in a car if they're mature enough to handle it when stuff goes wrong. But it annoys me when people only focus on stranger danger and not other potential stuff that can happen (which is generally more common than kids being abducted).