Question is about my 7 year old daughter who weighs 80lbs

bethyv1030

I don't have kids so maybe my opinion is easier said than done, but what I would do is stop buying unhealthy snacks. That way if your daughter feels she needs to snack when others snack then maybe it'll be veggies and low cal dip, or fruits etc. also if you have time maybe pack her a well portioned bag lunch to take every day. I know it may seem embarassing to her if you were to notify her teacher to watch for snacking from others, but wouldn't you rather her go through a minute of embarrassment rather than a lifetime of being overweight and unhappy? Most teachers would be discreet about the issue anyway so no one else would know. Hope my advice can help in any way!! Good luck!

DawnTepp

This is a touchy topic. I have been overweight my entire life. My mom was great but there where a few things that did more harm than good. She changed her cooking for the whole familyand we would do evening bike rides. All of these things where good but I didn't lose weight, and I didn't take food from the other kids at school. I ate a much heathier lunch than anyone else. I remeber my grandma not letting me eat things that the other grandkids were eating right in front of me. This was not good, it made me feel fat and singled out. I still did not lose weight. I started doing some sports in fifth and sixth grade. That was the best thing for me. I lost weight and I didn't even realize it! I didn't make any sports teams in Jr. High so I didn't get the excersize I needed and I gained weight back. Just encourage her to be active.

wilsoje74

Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?

and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.

You should talk to her pediatrician. Also, what does she eat? I'm not at all qualified to judge, nor am I trying to, but if she's eating calorie-dense foods (sweets, ice cream, etc.) then she won't feel as full.

However, I also would've eaten as much as possible when I was younger, and several times ate to the point of sickness. Try to get her to eat more slowly and really recognize signs of fullness vs. just liking the way food tastes.

I limit "junk" alot...I don't eat it...dont like it so its not in the house too much. And luckily she likes everything, even veggies, fruit. But I think she does raid others lunch boxes at school...not sure how to broach that or even if I should...its not really teachers job to patrol her food intake.

She needs to be told she is not to be eating anyone else's food. In many schools that is not allowed. It is not polite and is bad behavior. At her age she knows better.

wilsoje74

Also put her in a sport. She picks but something every season. Try new ones if she doesn't like one but always finish out the class. Soccer, tennis, gymnastics, swimming, karate, basketball, softball, are a few ideas. She will find one she likes and meet new friends. My kids both have their sport of choice but when they were young they had to pick something organized.

MSWDiet

I LIVED THIS WITH MY NOW GROWN DAUGHTER AND STILL PONDER HOW I SHOULD HAVE HANDLED IT. ONE THING I WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY IS TAKE HER DAILY EATING HABITS INTO MY OWN HANDS BY RECORDING OUR FOOD AND EXERCISE TOGETHER AS A MOTHER DAUGHTER ACTIVITY. WE ROUTINELY HAVE MOTHER DAUGHTER TIME. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A NATURAL EXTENSION.

AS ACTIVE A LIFESTYLE AS YOU CAN MANAGE WILL HELP. TAKE NOTE OF THE FOODS THAT TRIGGER APPETITE BY HELPING HER JOURNAL. CALORIE COUNTING CAN BE A MATH GAME NOT A CHORE OR PUNISHMENT (YES, I'M A NERD MOM WHO MADE EVERYTHING A MATH GAME LOL). MOST IMPORTANT, FIGURE OUT WHAT CAUSES HER TENDENCY TO BE OVERWEIGHT. I'M TALKING PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL. MENTION OF EMOTIONAL EATING IS NOT AN ALLUSION TO ABUSE. THERE ARE NUMEROUS CAUSES OF EMOTIONAL EATING.

A LOT WILL BE ON YOU TO RESEARCH & FIND SITES AIMED AT HELPING PARENTS OF FAT KIDS. AS WITH MANY CONDITIONS, THE MOST HELPFUL SITES MAY BE RUN BY OTHER PARENTS WHO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. HOPEFULLY THERE ARE ALSO SITES FOR KIDS TO INTERACT WITH OTHER KIDS WITH YOUR SUPERVISION OF COURSE.

LOOK INTO FAMILY MEDICAL HISTORY FOR METABOLIC DISORDERS INCLUDING THOSE UNDIAGNOSED BUT SUSPECTED. YOU MAY FIND A PATTERN THERE. FIND FOODS/ RECIPES WHERE PORTIONS, TASTE AND CALORIES MEET HER NEEDS AND ARE FILLING. HELP HER EMBRACE HER BODY AS IS WHILE YOU WORK ON HER GROWING INTO THE EXCESS WEIGHT AND OUT OF THE EXCESS EATING. LOOKING GOOD HELPS US TO FEEL GOOD. MUSCLE TONE, CLOTHES, HAIR, NAILS AS AGE APPROPRIATE WILL HELP IN A WORLD WHERE FAT PEOPLE ARE ACCEPTABLE TARGETS OF INSULTS.

MY STORY: I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THIS ABOUT ME BUT I HOPE IT WILL BE HELPFUL

I DID ALL THE MEDICAL DUE DILIGENCE INCLUDING A WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM AT A WELL KNOWN HOSPITAL ATTACHED TO AN IVY LEAGUE MEDICAL SCHOOL. DOCTORS READ ME THE SAME OLD CALORIES IN VS OUT LINE. AT THE TIME I HAD NO IDEA THAT OBESITY IS FAR MORE COMPLEX THAN WHAT WE EAT. MOST IMPORTANT, REASONS FOR EATING AND DIFFICULTY WITH WEIGHT CONTROL VARY BY INDIVIDUAL.

IT TOOK YEARS BUT WE'VE GLIMPSED THE ROOTS OF HER OVEREATING AS I DISCOVERED MY OWN. WE ALSO DISCOVERED A FAMILY HISTORY OF METABOLIC DISORDERS ON BOTH SIDES WERE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS. ONLY ONE DOCTOR PICKED UP ON THIS ABNORMALITY IN ROUTINE BLOOD WORK WHEN SHE WAS SIXTEEN. GIVEN I WAS OBESE, OTHER DOCTORS WERE NOT LISTENING. FAT PEOPLE ARE OFTEN IGNORED BY THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY AND LABELED AS LOOKING FOR EXCUSES.

FORTUNATELY MY DAUGHTER GREW UP TO LOVE HER BODY AND HERSELF JUST AS SHE IS. I CREDIT MY BEING OBESE AND EXTREMELY VAIN FOR THIS. SHE KNEW GORGEOUS DID NOT MEAN THIN. UNFORTUNATELY SHE BECAME MORBIDLY OBESE AND HAS BEEN SLOWLY LOOSING FOR YEARS. THE METABOLIC ISSUES STILL NEED TO BE ADDRESSED BUT THEY MUST WAIT UNTIL SHE IS READY.


FORTUNATELY WEIGHT LOSS SUPPORT IS EVERYWHERE ON LINE TODAY. I WISH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THE BEST IN FINDING HER SOLUTION . MAY SHE NEVER BECOME OBESE.



*PLEASE BELIEVE, ME I'M NOT SCREAMING AT YOU. I'M SIMPLY HARD OF SEEING. ;-)

redheadmommy

I think the first priority is to *kitten* whether she is actually obese/overweight or not. If she is actually overweight, that is entire different problem than the constant snacking habit.

I know BMI is not perfect measure , but based on it, your kid is obese. (http://www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/weight/bmi/bmi-calculator) But , you may have just rounded her measurements and she may not be 4 ft, but maybe she is 4 ft 2 " , and maybe she is not 80 lb ,but only 78 lb. So first measure her exactly, calculate her accurate BMI , take her to the doctor and specifically ask if the doctor think she is obese/overweight. Plus just look at her and ask friends what do they think. Sometimes parent seem to just overlook the extra padding when they come to their own kids. But maybe she is not overweight, without a picture it is impossible to determinate. Anyway first and most importantly , you need to *kitten* if whe has a weigh problem or just a problem of eating pattern.

Grazing all day is not a great habit to have regardless of the overweight or not situation. My sister 5 yrs old constantly grazing, and he is VERY underweight. Because the kid is dangerously skinny my sister encourage every bites he eats, and I think this have a bite here and there constantly actually worsens the weight situation. Because the kids grazing ( usually on rather empty carbs) , he never hungry at meal time and never eats a proper meal, which again leads more snacking an hr later. Without adequate protein the kid is never going to put on healthy meat on his bones. We live very far from them, but when we visit and stay with them for a couple of weeks , the kid always eat better by the end. The main reason because we , as a whole family , sit down for our meals, which their family never do that. They eat , especially snacks different times , just like you mentioned your family does. Personally that would drive me nuts. When we were kids that was the case in our house and my sister obviously followed that habit, but it always annoyed me so I change it. In our house , you eat at meal time or you do not eat, end of story. I usually time weekend/holiday mealtime to match up with the mealtime my kids have in schooldays. There is a breakfast at 7 am, plenty of food to eat. School snack time is 10-10:30, so on the weekend we have snack time around that time too. Schoolday they eat lunch at 12, on the weekend we may eat lunch 12:30 , bu no later than 1 pm. Schoolday afternoon snack time is 3:30, weekend afternoon snacktime is around the same. We eat dinner together every day around 6 , no later than 6:30 pm , no exceptions. We sign up kids for practice according to our family schedule , weekday 4-5 pm and weekend mornings. I ensure there is protein on all 3 main meal, because that what keeps them full. Carbs only meals get digested so quicky and they hungry an hr or so again. There is no dessert /sugary snack at the morning- no exceptions. That is bad for concentrating in school. I pack a tiny bit of dessert for lunch, like 5-6 mini marshmallows or one square of tiny chocolate . ( My son have the planetbox lunchbox and have a tiny compartment for dessert). After dinner there can be dessert, if the veggies and meat has been (mostly) eaten.
I find this schedule works for us, and kids like structure. Sometimes my son whines half or an hr before dinner that he is so hungry , but every time I give in and let him have a snack, he ends up not eating proper dinner. Plus when I give in, he whines the next day even more, because he knows I am getting weak No kids will starve if they have to wait an hr for their next meal. Most of the time if my son whines prior to dinner, I just tell him if he helps out it will be done faster. Sometime he really hungry and choose to help, other days he say he can wait and play instead.

crazyincolorado84

I have a daughter who is turnin 7 in a few weeks, she used to be a little chunky. Once it got to the point of having to buy jeans too long just to fit her waist I knew it was getting out of control.

She is now 62 lbs and does gymnastics and competative cheerleading, she is all muscle and an amazing tumbler.

This is what we did. She stopped using our plates and uses toddler sized plates again. She has a crazy big appetite, im sure due to all of her activity and she is a bordom eater like me. She is allowed to have as many veggies and fruit as she wants at any time, she's sat in bed and eaten a ontainer of mushrooms before because she was hungry after bedtime and that's what she asked for. When we go to friends houses she can eat whatever she wants, it's an occasional treat, but i don't deny her anything. We eat plant based at home and she's learned to absolutely love all the weird veggies and gets excited over tofu (we do still eat meat and eggs, but not much)

This didn't happen overnight. It had to be a family affair. She has been on a few hunger strikes....she'll live, I promise they won't/can't let themselves actually starve. They will eat it eventually if it's whats offered and they will develope a taste for it. Most importantly TALK TO HER TEACHER. If she's rummaging through other kids lunches that's not only bad for her health, but it's down right rude. It's not going to single her out, she needs to respect other students no matter what her immediate urge or hunger is, that comes with being a part of society. Pack fun luches. I always include something to dip the veggies in b/c she won't eat them at school without peanut butter, hummus, or ranch.

Most of all you are the parent and as harsh as it sounds if she ends up overweight, unhealthy and miserable at a young age it's your fault. She's 7. You have the power to make everyone in your household focus on health and then it doesn't single her out, it becomes :this is what we're doing as a family because we want to be healthy and be able to play and not get sick" situation. Have her help pick out and prepare new foods to try each week.

And find a new pediatrition. My daughter is in the 93rd percentile at 4'1" and 62lbs. So if that ped doesn't see a problem and want to help her grow into her weight, get a new one.

Dreamingallday

Verify a healthy weight with her pediatrician, they can tell you for sure if she needs to lose weight and if there are any health concerns that could come from this.

I was a "chubby" child growing up. I became an emotional eater and during the years of a divorce and parents fighting for custody... I had a lot of emotions. I mean 170 pounds at 12 years old....

Now as an adult trying to shed the pounds of all the years I emotionally ate and got in to bad habits, I wish it had been addressed much sooner! It is easier to lose weight when you are younger and it's easier to form new habits then too. If you don't want to make her uncomfortable ( which is the best option or she may not be so enthusiastic) do a family health overhaul, that way everyone is on board and she is not singled out. It becomes much more fun and interesting too.

Have only healthy food options available for snacking on like veggies, fruits and whole grains. Go on active family outings like hikes and bike rides or even just a walk to a local park to play soccer or something. See what is happening in your city and plan for your family to go. Get her pumped up to go and be a part of it, bring healthy snack options to keep from getting junk foods and lots of water.

Even where I am now, more aware and working hard, I still will eat a whole chocolate bar if it is in the house, so I don't keep them in the house. Also, do mention it to the teacher, at the very least they can let you know if she is bumming food from other kids or trading so that you can find a solution. It's for your kids happiness and health, and in the long run, the hiccups and hard work now will be worth it.

fitfreakymom

I don't have kids so maybe my opinion is easier said than done, but what I would do is stop buying unhealthy snacks. That way if your daughter feels she needs to snack when others snack then maybe it'll be veggies and low cal dip, or fruits etc. also if you have time maybe pack her a well portioned bag lunch to take every day. I know it may seem embarassing to her if you were to notify her teacher to watch for snacking from others, but wouldn't you rather her go through a minute of embarrassment rather than a lifetime of being overweight and unhappy? Most teachers would be discreet about the issue anyway so no one else would know. Hope my advice can help in any way!! Good luck!

for the most part this, I have a daughter that is 12 . When she was younger she was outside a lot and heard the word no a lot to and my hubby is navy and when he sailed which can be a lot we have next to no junk in the house and all the schools she have gone to do have guid lines for what can be in a lunch. When it comes to meal times for the most part portion control. Most of hubbys family are obese and I will not have that here.

WalkingAlong

This won't be popular but I disagree with restricting. I agree with some who said it sounds like control issues.

It's been a while since I read books on the topic of kids and eating but the advice then was pretty much to let them guide the HOW MUCH while you guide the WHAT by how you shop and cook. If they refuse to eat what you fixed, the advice was to let them have a bowl of healthy cereal they fix themselves, period. And don't make food an issue of contention.

Usually they say to try to get the child more active.

My daughter wasn't overweight but was on the higher end of normal than her friends. Now she's 13 and I worry she might be getting too thin. I don't know what my parenting or home environment effect had on her, if any. But I refused to restrict and have always told her to listen to her body, eat when she's hungry and stop when she's full, and tried to lead by example by mostly eating healthy but also not having treat foods be forbidden or glorified.

missomgitsica

Definitely talk to a doctor about it. Regardless of how embarrassing it might be if you take charge of this kind of stuff now it'll be better in the long run. My younger sister started getting chubby as a kid and my parents just wrote it off and assumed she'd lose the baby weight . . . now she's 21 and morbidly obese and won't do anything about it.

nicola1141

One thing I notice in your posts is that you seem to be extremely hesitant to discuss this with your daughter herself. I am NOT in any way suggesting you have the "You may be overweight, how do we rectify this" conversation at all. I don't think it should be a "weight" conversation, but you should definitely be having the "health" conversation with her. She is old enough to understand what is healthy food, what is not. She is old enough to know what the rules are about eating healthy and not. You can set those rules and be firm about them.

So if you're telling her not to eat other kids' foods, it doesn't have to be about the other mom packing the lunch. You shouldn't skirt around the issue - you should actually address the issue. It should be "I packed your lunch for you, if that is not enough for you, let me know and we will adjust your lunch. But we need to make sure we're all eating healthy food and as your mother I want to know what you're eating in a day." I think you can have the conversation (and you should be) without making it a "you're fat" conversation!

specialsnowflake

With my kids I have tried to make it more about listening to their bodies than about just restriction. When we're having meals I tell them that once they are no longer hungry they should stop eating. I don't make them clean their plates. If they have eaten what I feel is enough and still say they're hungry I will tell them to have a glass of water and wait 20 minutes. If they're still hungry after 20 minutes I will gladly provide them with more food but 90% of the time their bodies will register that they're full and they no longer want the extra portions. I also never let my kids eat in front of a screen. Good luck! You're a good mama for trying to nip this in the bud in a way that is healthy physically and emotionally for your child!

Momjogger

Have only healthy snacks in the house. Give her whatever she wants to eat but in small amounts. Take her to your doctor to get advice.

Sreneesa

Well honestly, if all she wants to do is eat, you're the parent. Tell her no, she does not need a snack right now. Offer her healthy things for meals and snacks. I know you can't do it all when she's in school and all, but try packing her lunch for her? My 4 year old is 50 lbs and very tall for her age--46 inches, eats like a bird. She's a junk food junkie too and if she had it her way, she'd eat cookies and ice cream 24/7, but I tell her no and she's been slowly coming around because she knows I won't give in. I totally get it's not easy. I just stopped getting any junk food in the house when we go shopping so it's not in sight. She only sees the fruits and veggies in the fridge. I also tried to get her some ranch dip for the veggies and she's been eating them with a little less hassle. Luckily my 3 year old eats anything I put in front of her, but my oldest is a trip.

When raising my daughter I never allowed her to eat whenever she wanted. I was firm about snacking just to snack. She could have seconds at dinner but I always had a portion fit for someone her age. Didn't allow sugary candies until she was around five or so. She always asked me first before going into the fridge to have a snack or something to eat. I didn't have high sugar things in my home. I never was into candy, chips, etc so that wasn't a problem. She was always was active in sports; track, basketball, football from the age 6 on up. Always outside playing with friends. I made it this way because I'm the parent.

It starts with the parents. Ive seen way too many kids have weight issues as a child and now they are teenagers and have the same issues.

It will be hard at first but consistency is the key.

heidicalif

Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?

and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.

Yes. She could have Celiac. It's determined by a simple blood test.

I wish it was that simple. Blood tests are just the first step and are especially inaccurate with children. Celiac can only be diagnosed with an intestinal biopsy.

latinlil

I can't help but chime in just to say that if you talk with her pediatrician, try to do it out of earshot of her.

My friends' kids are big eaters and their BMI tested high so she had legitimate concerns, and one of her pediatricians was very positive, but also didn't label the kids in front of them. Her second pediatrician called her daughter, "chubby" in front of her, and her daughter asked her later if she was chubby, so she's already taken that label into her psyche. Uncool.

Zoejohnse91

Join her up to a class? Like Boxing or something? Exercise is good no matter what