I just have to accept that I will always be fat

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Replies

  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    Yeah, I made the same statement 2 years ago, but for some reason it didn't take. Decided diets don't work...cuz well they don't and started making smarter choices about what I put in my mouth. Still have the "bad" things, but just less of them, and more of the good stuff, got off my *kitten* and started working out (never set foot in a gym). 2 years later and 110lbs lighter, I have accepted that I will always be FIT.

    ETA: BTW had a giant burrito for lunch today. Yummmmmm!
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    I have tried so many diets, I dont have the discipline, I LOVE food that is bad for me, it makes me feel full in a different way to anything else.

    I will just always be fat, there is no other option for me.

    I have been trying this 5:2 diet, I got so hungry and found a galaxy bar and ate it at about 4pm

    I've also had a bowl of granola and a yogurt and a banana today.

    well over my 500 calories, so I have basically been hungry all day for no reason what so ever.

    I give up, this is the end of my weight loss journey because I am just not good enough and I never ever will be.

    Off to throw away my 'skinny' clothes.

    STOP DIETING!

    Stop telling yourself that yummy food is *BAD* for you!


    I was put-off at the idea of trying to lose weight because I believed these things, and look at me now, down almost 80 pounds without giving up anything or feeling any guilt. So just stop it!

    Check out the OP of this thread:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Free your mind, and your *kitten* will follow! Seriously, get a grasp on basic nutrition and how to keep an accurate food diary. Once you have your head on straight, you will realize that it's *easy* to lose weight because you are no longer trying to conform to the dieting myths that the media and diet books, etc. have drilled into our heads. They are all liars, trying to get money from suckers.

    :flowerforyou:
    This 1000 times!

    Stop the diet yo-yo. Eat less, move more, it really can be that simple.

    So many people who lose weight seem to think they can and should eat differently to lose weight. Then they can go back to eating the way they eat now and it'll stay off. It doesn't work that way. Really, just eating less of the same things you already eat is enough.

    My advice to people just starting out is to eat NOW like you'll need to eat to *maintain your goal weight*. Figure out the calories needed to maintain whatever weight you want to be and that's your new daily calorie goal. Forever. No special foods, no cutting out food groups, no twice per week of 500 calories. It'll take longer than a "crash diet" to hit that goal weight but you'll never be starving and miserable and you'll never fail because there's always tomorrow to go right back to eating the way you'll be eating for the rest of your life.
  • NWfluffy
    NWfluffy Posts: 48 Member
    I too really like food! And I have ridden the weight roller coaster up and down 30 lbs or so since I was 16 (I'm 51). This time around I'm looking for success, so I set a program that would allow me to succeed fairly easily each day.

    I set my goal to lose 1/2 lb per week. That;s 1580 calories a day which is only a 250 cal. deficit daily for me. I love MFP because it helps me be totally honest about my intake (and yes, I'm a bit obsessed with logging everything as soon as I can). For me, the intent is to be under goal each day, but i insist on being under average goal each week.

    One important lesson I learned recently is that one really bad day can blow your whole week. However, if I deny myself any particular category of food I will "rebel" against myself & eat too much of it, Makes no sense, I know, but that 's how it is ;) So I sometimes have to ask myself if what I want is really worth it. More food earlier in the day makes for a slim dinner & I don't like that because the rest of my family can & does eat whatever they want.

    The added bonus is that it will take me a year or more to lose the weight at this rate. The hope is that any changes I make will stick if I do them for a year. It would be so nice to want to get in the pool with the kids or to not dread shorts season every year.

    So pull up those big girl panties, devise a program that you can live with for a long time, and have at it. And when you totally blow it on occasion (because we're all human) accept your temporary failure, don't beat yourself to death over it, and move forward.

    I read a great line recently "No one can go back and make a brand new start, but anyone can start now and make a brand new ending.:

    Go for it and good luck!
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    I have tried so many diets, I dont have the discipline, I LOVE food that is bad for me, it makes me feel full in a different way to anything else.

    I will just always be fat, there is no other option for me.

    I have been trying this 5:2 diet, I got so hungry and found a galaxy bar and ate it at about 4pm

    I've also had a bowl of granola and a yogurt and a banana today.

    well over my 500 calories, so I have basically been hungry all day for no reason what so ever.

    I give up, this is the end of my weight loss journey because I am just not good enough and I never ever will be.

    Off to throw away my 'skinny' clothes.


    Firstly, 500 calories? I do hope that's per meal, not all day. If you are restricting to 500per day, THAT is why you aren't losing.

    Secondly, you do NOT have to accept that you will always be fat. You can decide that you want to be FIT. THEN MAKE IT HAPPEN. Eat healthy, exercise, research what works and try new things.

    If you give up then you are right, it will not happen.

    HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?!

    You will fail. It will happen, You have to be able to pull up your bootstraps and cowgirl up. Otherwise, you are right, and you will always be fat.
  • oakley556
    oakley556 Posts: 3 Member
    That diet sounds awful! I know I'd sure fail on that. Focus on eating real, clean foods. Fill up on low calorie things like cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, etc so you aren't as hungry. If you feel snacky and are craving something (but you're not really hungry) find something to do, clean the house, go for a walk, etc. Stop buying the bad food so it's not as easily accessible. Don't limit yourself so much, just make sure what you're eating is healthy. I think just about everyone loves the bad food, you just need to try an stay away from it as much as you can!
    And there are plenty of delicious healthy foods, salmon and broccoli, chicken breast, avacados, eggs, smoothies, eating healthy doesn't have to mean eating cardboard flavored protein bars!
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    Stop. Just stop. Take a step back and breathe and start listening to the people posting instead of making excuses.

    You don't need to diet. You just need to eat less than you currently are and get up and move a little bit more. When I get home, I have cookies on the menu. I've lost 30+ pounds. Could I do that if I was on a crappy diet? No. Cookies would be forbidden. Thus, logically speaking, diets are evil. 5:2 is obviously making you miserable. Miserable is bad. Stop doing things that make you miserable. "The definition of insanity is repeating the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results," correct?

    Being happy isn't going to help you lose weight. Wanting to lose weight and doing something about it will make you lose weight. If you don't want it bad enough, you won't do it. I said for years that I was going to lose weight. I even started saying that as a kid. It wasn't until I TRULY wanted to do something about my life that I actually did it.

    You can't afford a new Healthcare Provider or a therapist. Okay. There's TONS of information on MFP to help you out. People have posted the information to a TDEE calculator and you brushed it off. Figure it out and learn what you need to do. Input your numbers (height, weight, how much you work out in a week), decide what kind of deficit you want to eat at to lose weight (10-20%, I think), don't consume more calories than the number it spits out. Not hard. At all.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Of course you're going to be starving and probably binge if you're only eating 500 calories a day (or trying to). No one can stick to that. You can eat a lot more than that of filling, healthy foods along with some treats and exercise and lose weight.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    on the upside you can now focus on other more important things......one less thing to not worry about \m/
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Well after finding out that a tiny wee bit of choccy is 300 calories I won't be eating it again .

    Thanks for the TDEE thing that's interesting but I didn't really get what I was supposed to be eating.

    I think I just want to try being happy and see if that makes me lose weight

    being happy doesn't help you lose weight.

    eating at a regular SMALL deficit does. Stop trying to force it. there is a reason dieting doesn't work and regular CONSISTENT SMALL down ward trend does.

    SMALL Deficits are manageable. - eating 200 calories a day less than maintenance is much more palatable and manageable than whatever ridiculous 500 calorie diet you are trying to cram yourself into is.

    Consistency brings the results.

    do more research and stop trying rubbish diets.

    You can do this if you want to. You just have to decide that- I would also support seeing a therapist as well though. Many people have unhealthy relationships with food- now or in the past- it's not uncommon at all.
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  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    I can't afford a therapist. I have one counsellor I go and see but she's 30 miles away and I can't afford to take the time out right now. That's my only option for a counsellor.

    I think people forget that things like 'nutritional HCP' and counsellors are not easy to come by in the uk.

    You can't afford NOT to stick with this counselor. If you can get some basic emotional and psychological needs met it will help get you in a better place emotionally to start losing. Then, you will start losing and feeling better. As you start feeling better you will become more motivated and lose more. The snowball will keep growing as you keep shrinking.

    I tried to lose weight by berating myself and telling myself I was all kinds of negative things. It did NOT work. Only when I relented and said to myself "Ok, you don't suck THAT bad." did I feel ok with trying to make myself better.

    Support yourself and try not ignore any negative self dialogue that rattles around in your head.

    We'll support you too. Even, those who aren't so gentle with their "support" really want to see you succeed. We all do.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    I follow the simple rules of eat when I'm hungry and make it a healthy decision no I'm not talking about salads all the time.
    I had fries on the weekend :wink: everything in moderation.
    And try to get out, walk, run, gym, swim anything even for 30mins a day.
    And I don't beat myself up if I miss a day of workout.

    Seems to be working for me :) and i'm happy :)

    FYI there is not :explode: I could eat 500 calories between two days... if that is what you said...
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    Well after finding out that a tiny wee bit of choccy is 300 calories I won't be eating it again .

    Thanks for the TDEE thing that's interesting but I didn't really get what I was supposed to be eating.

    I think I just want to try being happy and see if that makes me lose weight

    being happy doesn't help you lose weight.

    Agreed. A healthy self-esteem with a daily calorie deficit is a good start. Start doing a sh*tload of homework on both of these. Google.com is your friend.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Thank you :) I think acceptance is what I need rather than trying to become something I am not.

    I have reached that point (fine. I'll just be fat forever) so many times. All that it means is that you haven't found the right thing for you.

    For me, the balance tilted when I found a way to incorporate exercise into my many commitments and using MFP to make sure I neither under eat nor over eat. Just keep trying things until you find something that works for YOU!

    I would also recommend the book "The Willpower Instinct"
  • kittykat925
    kittykat925 Posts: 64 Member
    No more 5:2

    No more restrictions

    No more DIET.

    If you want this to work, its all about finding something that works for you that you can stick with. You need to eat what you want, along with nutrient rich foods. Find healthy foods that you enjoy eating, but don't live off of just that; enjoy the foods you love. Enjoy the balance. And find some exercise you enjoy. It doesn't have to be super vigorous, just something you enjoy. And make sure you eat enough.

    ^^^This

    You can do this! There is no need to give up reaching for what you want, just know that it takes time and will not happen overnight. Also, there is no need to feel hungry or like you are starving yourself because in the long run that will backfire.

    P.S. We will accept you for who you are; after all, isn't that why we are all on here...to attain a healthy eating/fitness goal of some sort?

    best of luck to you. :smile:
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    I have tried so many diets, I dont have the discipline, I LOVE food that is bad for me, it makes me feel full in a different way to anything else.

    I will just always be fat, there is no other option for me.

    I have been trying this 5:2 diet, I got so hungry and found a galaxy bar and ate it at about 4pm

    I've also had a bowl of granola and a yogurt and a banana today.

    well over my 500 calories, so I have basically been hungry all day for no reason what so ever.

    I give up, this is the end of my weight loss journey because I am just not good enough and I never ever will be.

    Off to throw away my 'skinny' clothes.

    You can go that route if you wish to but that's your 'Choice'. You can beat yourself up about a chocolate bar or just get on with it. Weightloss is mainly about mindset if you want it you do it. We can all make excuses but it comes down to doing the work. Fad diets don't work its a basic eat less than you expend and you'll lose weight. So find a way to make that work for you as we all work these things in a different way.

    No one can give you motivation that's up to you. Good health and being there for your family should be motivation enough if not why not. Look at your reasoning and why. Maybe the reason you failed on 5:2 was that you were being un realistic in your food choices and aims. Have a rethink and decide what you are going to do. You can either go the self pity route 'I'm always going to be fat' or just go and do it. It's not always easy but when you start to achieve you will know you can. As I said it a choice you need to make.

    Good luck
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    OMG I still love how people didn't even read the OP's post about it not being 500cals a day...it's 500cals TWO days a week.
  • Luv2Smile55
    Luv2Smile55 Posts: 133 Member
    Awe ... Please don't give up. I am in my fifties and have been where you are a million times. I have gotten back up from falling off the wagon a million AND one times.
    Just keep trying. If what you're doing now isn't working then let's try something else. I agree with Jillian. Do you like yogurt? If so have some Greek yogurt for your protein and mix in a little fruit. I think it's important to have protein. I am giving that a shot today. A Dr said that we should have protein with every meal so I'm going to try that. He also said to eat less processed foods as in less white stuff; for example sugar, flour, white rice. We need more whole grains and less processed crap to feel satisfied and beat the cravings. Let me know if I can help. Let's make 2014 the year that we learn to eat what fuels our bodies but that we like as well and let's lose some LBs. We CAN do this!! :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    You appear to be seeking attention (and getting it). Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
  • FeebRyan
    FeebRyan Posts: 738 Member
    Okay well I have eaten a jacket potato... With beans and cheese on

    Not loads of cheese

    I feel a lot better (and warmer)

    I have made some positive changes in the last few weeks, we've reduced red meat down to once a week, opting for veggies and fish most nights and chicken and veggies the others

    It's the comfort eating that I need to stop, getting munchies in the evenings Etc

    I've also stopped eating wheat, not because of weightloss necessarily but because it's bad for me and gives me the runs and indigestion and wind.

    I've also started having diet drinks instead of anything full fat

    Even with the stuff I have eaten tonight, I've not gone over my 2350 calories needed to lose weight according to the scooby people

    So I think I am going to tell myself that I have changed sonething rather than failed something.
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
    We ALL love food. The difference between those who are successful with weight loss and those who are not is who walks away from the cookie and who eats it. You have to make walking away from bad foods a habit. NO ONE is "meant to be fat." Being fat is a choice that a lot of us have made, but you have to make the choice to correct what you have done wrong. Feel free to add me for support. :)
  • alhumphreys
    alhumphreys Posts: 53 Member
    It usually annoys me when people give rude feedback, but this post is crazy. You either want to lose weight or you don't want to lose weight. BUT if you wanted to give up why would you even bother posting this ?? Just give up, but don't go seeking for attention. You are in control of your habits, no one else. :huh:
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Okay well I have eaten a jacket potato... With beans and cheese on

    Not loads of cheese

    I feel a lot better (and warmer)

    I have made some positive changes in the last few weeks, we've reduced red meat down to once a week, opting for veggies and fish most nights and chicken and veggies the others

    It's the comfort eating that I need to stop, getting munchies in the evenings Etc

    I've also stopped eating wheat, not because of weightloss necessarily but because it's bad for me and gives me the runs and indigestion and wind.

    I've also started having diet drinks instead of anything full fat

    Even with the stuff I have eaten tonight, I've not gone over my 2350 calories needed to lose weight according to the scooby people

    So I think I am going to tell myself that I have changed something rather than failed something.

    Great attitude! If you keep getting uncontrollable munchies, boost your daily intake by 100 calories until you feel satiated between meals (and really, really hungry right before the next one).
  • Enjoy your life. LOVE your body (no matter the size). Eat foods you enjoy.

    Give yourself a few months. Then try to work more healthy foods into your diet. If eating right is always just about being thin, then you will likely feel upset and like a failure. Instead, LOVE your body. It works for you.

    I'm a dietitian and, after years of working with clients, I firmly believe that weight loss happens in this order:
    1. They learn to love themselves no matter how large or small.
    2. They get healthy - lots of exercise, strength training and good food.
    3. They suddenly feel like it's time to lose weight and they do.

    So, for now, focus on the first two. I have a love-hate relationship with Fitness Pal. It focuses the client on only 1 aspect of a lifelong journey!
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
    It usually annoys me when people give rude feedback, but this post is crazy. You either want to lose weight or you don't want to lose weight. BUT if you wanted to give up why would you even bother posting this ?? Just give up, but don't go seeking for attention. You are in control of your habits, no one else. :huh:

    Agree. I can't be sympathetic for someone with such a horrible attitude.
  • Oscarinmiami
    Oscarinmiami Posts: 326 Member
    don't give up, it's a marathon not a sprint...500 calories is not enough try 1,200 a day...work in a cheat day or two wednesday and sunday...it's better to lose a few pounds then to give up.
  • tracym22
    tracym22 Posts: 107 Member
    Well done for making positive changes this week. Small steps count, you'll still get there. I too get the munchies in the evening and am trying to eat more healthily throughout the day. I bought a fitbit last week, to make me acknowledge and take control of my movement and exercise.
    Stick with it and good luck to you
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
    Thank you :) I think acceptance is what I need rather than trying to become something I am not.

    You are who you are, my dear, whether unhealthy or fit. You are the only one who can stand in your way. Get some counseling. It sounds like you may need help making the changes you need to make for yourself. I can't imagine only eating 500 calories in a day: that would make me crazy and growly!

    1. start tracking everything that goes into your mouth.
    2. start making changes to your diet and habits.
    3. love yourself and make sure you have positive self-talk because the way we talk to ourselves is very much self-prophesying. (if we tell ourselves that we cannot do something, it will be more likely that we cannot. If we tell ourselves that we can, it's more likely that we will, etc.) Tell yourself the things you would tell your dearest friend.
    4. be patient and just keep going.
    5. forgive yourself when you have mishaps, set backs, and get back on track the very next meal.

    You can get healthier. You can accept and love yourself the way you are and bring yourself to set goals and shoot for improvement. Write down your goals and the reasons for them.

    Good luck to you, what ever you decide though- again, it's up to you- no one can do this for you.
  • Karen_LM
    Karen_LM Posts: 61 Member
    Rather than following diets, attempting to find magical combinations of food or eating schedules, I have found it easier to just track what i actually do using this app. I have it on a smartphone, so can track it closely all day. Its not really about restrictions and limitations, for me. Its about understanding the values and costs of food and exercise choices. I moved from the US to the UK this past summer. Everything about my life got turned upside down. Good habits, bad habits. We lived in a hotel and ate out every day for a month. That was not great.

    A few months ago, i let MFP determine calories for me without a diet goal, just so i could get back in the habit of managing my calories in/out at a maintenance, normal life level. This past week, i finally reconfigured for a lose weight level. Struggling!

    If my calorie count has shrunk to the point that i might have to stop eating or go over my goal, then i find time for a walk, or to find a youTube work out, or something to earn enough calories to sit down to dinner. Once i had that habit, it became easier to limit the treat, (half the Mars bar? A single digestive biscuit(with chocolate of course)? To avoid the situation. Some days, i just accept that i am going to go over, i dont kick myself, though i may spend the rest of the day eating vegetables so i am not hungry even if my calories are over. Or, rarely, i skip dinner.

    In the end, calories are calories. You must eat enough to fuel yourself. 'Bad' calorories, but not an excess number, will leave you feeling ill and hungry. Completely healthy calories in too low a quantity will also leave you feeling ill and hungry. Eat enough good calories to fill you, eat only as much 'bad' calories as your exercise and long term plans can manage.
  • alexandriax03
    alexandriax03 Posts: 289 Member
    My doctor doesn't give a ****, I have sat and begged them to help me and they have just ignored it time and time again.

    Easy solution: find a new doctor. Particularly who you can build a relationship with and who will support you throughout your journey. You'll know this is "the doctor" when you meet him or her.