Dealing with sabatagers

Ophidion

LOL - I was thinking of this song/video when I came in here….awesome!

X2...actually got it playing on YouTube.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

OP - in all seriousness….can't you eat some of this food he brings into the house and still eat in a calorie deficit? Perhaps you are completely eliminating certain foods, that could be incorporated into your diet, and you would still be in a deficit and lose, and then maybe your husband would not feel so ostracized..? Just saying…

congrats on 80 pounds lost that is a great achievement…


but you may want to re-examine how you view certain foods..there are no "bad" or "good" foods…just food that you use for energy ..understanding this, may go a long way in your progress going forward and your relationship with husband.

This

OP, I know it seems like he is trying to break you down, but realize that you can eat whatever he brings home as long as you keep your calorie deficit. You've come a long way and have done a great job with your loss.

Lives2Travel

I don't get why someone buying and bringing home things they like to eat = sabotage. Unless he's holding you hostage and forcing you to eat what he buys, I don't see a problem.

melmckay99

Guys can be pretty clueless somethimes (no offense, men). I have told my BF many times about the types of food I want to be eating and also the types I want to limit or avoid, and have even asked him not to bring certain types of junk food into the house (especially ice cream and chocolate!) cause my self control is very weak sometimes.... yet he stil asks me every now and then "do you wanna go out for ice cream?" or comes home with a big bag of chocolate covered blueberries and leaves them out on the kitchen table. I really don't think he means it, I think he just forgets. He doesn't need to watch what he eats as much as I do to maintain his health/weight, so why should he have to? He also perfectly capable of having just a small portion or a couple bites of something and then leaving it til next time he craves it... I struggle with this as I tend to binge and lose control over these things and eat the whole container/box/package.

I do warn him though, that if he leaves that stuff lying around too long it's either:
A: gonna get eaten by me in a moment of weaknes, or
B: It's gonna get thrown out by me in a moment of overcoming my weakness.

moya_rargh

"You look ill."
"You looked better before,"
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Go on, have one!"
"Go on, have another!"
"God, you're BORING, you!"

etc.

Achrya

"You look ill."
"You looked better before,"
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Go on, have one!"
"Go on, have another!"
"God, you're BORING, you!"

etc.

Um

seltzermint555

Maybe he thinks "ah, she's lost enough...back to "normal eating habits" now"

I know that's not correct. But some people do think that way. I honestly do not think it sounds like he is trying to sabotage your efforts.

Ophidion

Guys can be pretty clueless somethimes (no offense, men).

None taken, some women can be freak'n' thick in the head with their blanket statements.

moya_rargh

"You look ill."
"You looked better before,"
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Go on, have one!"
"Go on, have another!"
"God, you're BORING, you!"

etc.

Um

Um what? I faced all of those comments in the past few months, including borderline tantrums about 'wasting money on food' when I stuck to my guns and refused.

LishieFruit89

"You look ill."
"You looked better before,"
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Go on, have one!"
"Go on, have another!"
"God, you're BORING, you!"

etc.

Um

Um what? I faced all of those comments in the past few months, including borderline tantrums about 'wasting money on food' when I stuck to my guns and refused.

It wasn't related to the situation at hand dude or useful in any way, shape, or form.

Achrya

"You look ill."
"You looked better before,"
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Go on, have one!"
"Go on, have another!"
"God, you're BORING, you!"

etc.

Um

Um what? I faced all of those comments in the past few months, including borderline tantrums about 'wasting money on food' when I stuck to my guns and refused.

Was just a bit contextless

kgeyser

"You look ill."
"You looked better before,"
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Go on, have one!"
"Go on, have another!"
"God, you're BORING, you!"

etc.

Um

Um what? I faced all of those comments in the past few months, including borderline tantrums about 'wasting money on food' when I stuck to my guns and refused.

The OP said he was making comments, she didn't say what those comments were. Let's not pigeonhole this guy, his comments, and his motivations without knowing the facts of the situation.

moya_rargh

It's in the context of diet sabotage, which is the subject of this thread, regardless of whether or not the OP is mistaken, no?

melmckay99

Guys can be pretty clueless somethimes (no offense, men).

None taken, some women can be freak'n' thick in the head with their blanket statements.

haha I won't argue. What can I say? I wanna be the controlling know-it-all in my relationship and I always know best. Though there are some situations where I prefer to hand over the reins

moya_rargh

"You look ill."
"You looked better before,"
"You don't need to lose any more weight."
"Go on, have one!"
"Go on, have another!"
"God, you're BORING, you!"

etc.

Um

Um what? I faced all of those comments in the past few months, including borderline tantrums about 'wasting money on food' when I stuck to my guns and refused.

The OP said he was making comments, she didn't say what those comments were. Let's not pigeonhole this guy, his comments, and his motivations without knowing the facts of the situation.

I wasn't pigeonholing anybody, I was referring to comments that I faced myself by people who were trying to sabotage my diet, you know, the subject matter of this very thread?

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Guys can be pretty clueless somethimes (no offense, men).

None taken, some women can be freak'n' thick in the head with their blanket statements.

:laugh:

Ophidion

It's in the context of diet sabotage, which is the subject of this thread, regardless of whether or not the OP is mistaken, no?

I would try to use the quote button when answer replies, see where it says quote, that's the one.

I would recommend that yes use a little more context probably something like "I can sympathize because..."

But yes, best not to make assumptions about her husband.

SezxyStef

I don't know if I am the only one on here that has this problem but I am really at a loss. My husband was very supportive in the beginning but now that I am down almost 80 pounds I find that he is making comments, and bringing food into the house that he knows is tempting to me. I have been on my weigh loss journey for about 5 months now, but he has been going to the gym for 2 years and I have always supported him, and tell him how good he looks. But now I don't know if it's because he is worried that I am going to try and find someone new or something like that, or if he was more comfortable when I was bigger. We have 3 kids and I tell him everyday how much I care for him, so I am really at a loss. Has anyone else had this problem before?

Okay what comments??? please explain...

As for bringing food into the house ??? really? how is that sabatoge...maybe he wants to eat it? my husband brought me turtles and a gym membership....He buys me lindt all the time because he knows I love them...having food in the house you find tempting is not sabatoge...

I am sure that in the two years your husband has been going to the gym you didn't give up the foods you love, you continued to cook the way you felt like, ate the way you wanted? were you trying t sabatoge him????

If you don't ask him how will you know?

moya_rargh

It's in the context of diet sabotage, which is the subject of this thread, regardless of whether or not the OP is mistaken, no?

I would try to use the quote button when answer replies, see where it says quote, that's the one.

I would recommend that yes use a little more context probably something like "I can sympathize because..."

But yes, best not to make assumptions about her husband.

Sorry.

ndj1979

Guys can be pretty clueless somethimes (no offense, men). I have told my BF many times about the types of food I want to be eating and also the types I want to limit or avoid, and have even asked him not to bring certain types of junk food into the house (especially ice cream and chocolate!) cause my self control is very weak sometimes.... yet he stil asks me every now and then "do you wanna go out for ice cream?" or comes home with a big bag of chocolate covered blueberries and leaves them out on the kitchen table. I really don't think he means it, I think he just forgets. He doesn't need to watch what he eats as much as I do to maintain his health/weight, so why should he have to? He also perfectly capable of having just a small portion or a couple bites of something and then leaving it til next time he craves it... I struggle with this as I tend to binge and lose control over these things and eat the whole container/box/package.

I do warn him though, that if he leaves that stuff lying around too long it's either:
A: gonna get eaten by me in a moment of weaknes, or
B: It's gonna get thrown out by me in a moment of overcoming my weakness.

men are clueless and woman are all geniuses…right, got ya…

thanks for calling me clueless...