Anybody else losing fat...TO LOOK GOOD?

journey_man

Lol. OP, thank you for starting this thread so I don't have to. I have noticed the same thing: wanting to look good is oddly villainized around here. Incredulously, I have read endless claptrap about how little looks matter, on a site where everyone is furiously working to reshape their body.

At the same time, the same people go on endlessly about "confidence" gained with weight loss. One wonder what the source of that confidence is.

Anyway, I am absolutely here to look good, among other goals. I was always honest about it and put it right in my profile from the start.

Also, it wasn't always this way. Without bragging, I used to look good, and never had to struggle much for female attention. But over the last 5 years or so, I let myself go, and saw myself gradually descend into sexual irrelevence. It's a horrible thing to realize.

As a single man in my 30s, my attractiveness to the opposite sex is absolutely an important aspect of my quality of life. Looks, in turn, are an important part of that attractiveness. All this affects my self esteem and confidence. So I am here to work on that, among other things.

GiveMeCoffee

When I started it was all about improving my health, I was sick of being in the hospital and the thought of being on oxygen all the time scared the hell out of me. Now that I've improved my health significantly, it's about my health, my strength and that I actually like how I look.

journey_man

As a result of a neurological dysfunction I never developed a sex drive (along with many other natural, base instincts). I have absolutely nothing to gain by prioritizing looks. It is done exclusively for practical benefit. And the people who can't wrap their brains around the idea that someone like myself can exist are nothing but narrow-minded. Seriously, you have no room whatsoever. NO. ROOM. AT. ALL. To say what you THINK about how everyone else's mind works. And you should think before you open your mouth about the possibility that maybe the human mind is much more diverse in how different one person can be from another than you first thought.

So you have a special condition. Not sure why you're getting so worked up about this. There are exceptions to everything. You are an exception. (Heck, it took a neurological condition for you to be an exception. What does that tell you?) Great. We recognize that. Moving on.

mumblemagic

BE ADVISED **Something that not many people who need to lose more than 50lbs (not sure if you do but this IS important) are made aware of is that skin integrity becomes an issue. You reach your goal weight and are like "Well, this is wonderful when I'm *clothed*..." That is why toning is so important, even when you are still larger. Your skin will bounce back, but it's been 6 months for me and it still hasn't (still not exercising yet, that's my next hurtle)

But YES I completely understand losing weight to look good. That is the ONLY reason that I lost weight and I am proud of that. My blood pressure and vitals were fine before losing weight because I was lucky. Yes, being healthier now is a great side effect, but I lost weight purely so I could look in a mirror without crying. Looks are important to some people, and no one should pass judgment on anyone else without understanding your story. You did this for looks? GOOD! You did this for health? GOOD! You did this so you could ride a pony without hurting it? GOOD! Whatever floats your boat, it takes all kinds to enjoy life and make it interesting!


I realize how scatterbrained the above message is, read it slow to get the idea, I get like this when I just wake up.

Good for you!

Personally I think people underestimate the mental health effects of not looking good due to obesity. Poor self esteem can come simply from being overweight, and cause huge problems for a person. It can trigger depression which causes a whole host of other medical conditions, including some physical medical conditions. Losing weight improves self esteem, thus improving the mental health issues and also improves physical health. Two birds with one stone. If the mental self esteem issues are the primary motivator and the physical health secondary, it's still a health decision.

Generally people trivialise vanity and its effect on mental health, and I don't think they should.

Achrya

Yep. Pretty much losing weight solely because I was starting to look like a fatass and that just wasn't a good look for me. My goals a bit more refined now and I do have fitness dreams BUT those are seperate from my weight loss.

Which is basically all about looking good.

walkdmc

Yes! That really is my #1 motivator....hotness. I have no shame.

KnM0107

Lol. OP, thank you for starting this thread so I don't have to. I have noticed the same thing: wanting to look good is oddly villainized around here. Incredulously, I have read endless claptrap about how little looks matter, on a site where everyone is furiously working to reshape their body.

At the same time, the same people go on endlessly about "confidence" gained with weight loss. One wonder what the source of that confidence is.

Anyway, I am absolutely here to look good, among other goals. I was always honest about it and put it right in my profile from the start.

Also, it wasn't always this way. Without bragging, I used to look good, and never had to struggle much for female attention. But over the last 5 years or so, I let myself go, and saw myself gradually descend into sexual irrelevence. It's a horrible thing to realize.

As a single man in my 30s, my attractiveness to the opposite sex is absolutely an important aspect of my quality of life. Looks, in turn, are an important part of that attractiveness. All this affects my self esteem and confidence. So I am here to work on that, among other things.

Everyone here is not furiously trying to reshape their bodies... I am here to gain strength and endurance for work. Some people just don't care about how they look. If that is a motivation for you then that is fine but realize that you can't speak for everyone.

Iwishyouwell

BE ADVISED **Something that not many people who need to lose more than 50lbs (not sure if you do but this IS important) are made aware of is that skin integrity becomes an issue. You reach your goal weight and are like "Well, this is wonderful when I'm *clothed*..." That is why toning is so important, even when you are still larger. Your skin will bounce back, but it's been 6 months for me and it still hasn't (still not exercising yet, that's my next hurtle)

But YES I completely understand losing weight to look good. That is the ONLY reason that I lost weight and I am proud of that. My blood pressure and vitals were fine before losing weight because I was lucky. Yes, being healthier now is a great side effect, but I lost weight purely so I could look in a mirror without crying. Looks are important to some people, and no one should pass judgment on anyone else without understanding your story. You did this for looks? GOOD! You did this for health? GOOD! You did this so you could ride a pony without hurting it? GOOD! Whatever floats your boat, it takes all kinds to enjoy life and make it interesting!


I realize how scatterbrained the above message is, read it slow to get the idea, I get like this when I just wake up.

Good for you!

Personally I think people underestimate the mental health effects of not looking good due to obesity. Poor self esteem can come simply from being overweight, and cause huge problems for a person. It can trigger depression which causes a whole host of other medical conditions, including some physical medical conditions. Losing weight improves self esteem, thus improving the mental health issues and also improves physical health. Two birds with one stone. If the mental self esteem issues are the primary motivator and the physical health secondary, it's still a health decision.

Generally people trivialise vanity and its effect on mental health, and I don't think they should.

This is me. I'm concerned about health in the context of avoiding some issues I likely have a genetic potential to encounter. But I'm healthy now. I haven't had so much as a cold in over a decade and I use to be surprisingly quick on my feet, energetic, and agile even when I was obese.

But the mental blows were devastating. Some people seem to take to being fat better than others. It was detrimental for me. Losing weight has had a profoundly positive affect on my entire life, and it continues to get better and better the closer I get to my goals. I wouldn't wish the way I felt about my fat body on my worst enemy.

Iwishyouwell

Lol. OP, thank you for starting this thread so I don't have to. I have noticed the same thing: wanting to look good is oddly villainized around here. Incredulously, I have read endless claptrap about how little looks matter, on a site where everyone is furiously working to reshape their body.

At the same time, the same people go on endlessly about "confidence" gained with weight loss. One wonder what the source of that confidence is.

Anyway, I am absolutely here to look good, among other goals. I was always honest about it and put it right in my profile from the start.

Also, it wasn't always this way. Without bragging, I used to look good, and never had to struggle much for female attention. But over the last 5 years or so, I let myself go, and saw myself gradually descend into sexual irrelevence. It's a horrible thing to realize.

As a single man in my 30s, my attractiveness to the opposite sex is absolutely an important aspect of my quality of life. Looks, in turn, are an important part of that attractiveness. All this affects my self esteem and confidence. So I am here to work on that, among other things.

I grew up feeling extremely unattractive. I had the "nice guy" syndrome and was almost always put in the friend zone. I remember when I first started to lose weight in my late teens and suddenly I was getting female attention. Then eventually so many people, strangers, friends, family, couldn't stop talking about how hot and handsome I was. It was a HUGE shock. I was so far gone in self esteem though that I never took any of the compliments to heart. I could not see what they saw. Part of the reason I gained back all my weight is that I had no idea how close I was to my best physical self. I couldn't even describe what my body looked like back then, at my fittest, because I still only saw my body as fat.

Even my wife reacts differently. My baby, love her with all that I am, is such a blessing. Even at my heighest of 320lbs she still was attracted to me, still wanted me, even though I felt like absolute chit. But their are still differences in how she reacts to me now vs then. After over a 120lbs loss so far, the woman can keep neither her hands nor her eyes off me. She is constantly staring at me, constantly touching me, constantly pulling my clothes off, and constantly saying "you are so damn sexy", or "you are beautiful". Yes, it makes all the difference in the world how attractive you seem, even to the women who do love you and embraced you heavier.