Punishment for my son. I need ideas!
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I agree, I did the taking away, yelling, stressed myself out. Finally left both of them alone and they straightened up when they saw their grades. All you can do is love'em and let them learn on their own.0
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A few more things to clarify:
1. My kids all do regular chores. They do not get paid for these chores because that's part of being a family. We work together to take care of things around the house. The chores I listed are the things that I will normally pay a small allowance for. These are "extras", so that they have an opportunity to make some money and learn to manage it. But only after regular chores are done. I have 5 children at home. No free rides! I regularly get compliments on how clean my house is though.
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
3. I can't try the "take away privacy" thing. He shares a room with his 8 year old step brother. He pretty much has no privacy anyway. Never has. :laugh:
ETA: I can't spell.0 -
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
What I think is happening is that he does not feel challenged by the work. Homework is supposed to be practice. He can pass all the tests with top scores, and doesn't need to practice. So, the homework feels boring and unnecessary. Do you think you could talk to the teachers and guidance counselor about the issue and maybe trying him in higher level classes if he isn't already in the top level and/or AP classes, etc? I know it will be tough when they look at the grades, but if you can point out the test scores and lack of homework. I sometimes face this with my kids. The school had my older daughter tested because they felt like something was going on with her. The tests revealed that she has an extremely unusual high level of memory for a girl her age. That is why she excels beyond her level in some things, but has trouble in other areas dealing with the amount of information she processes at once because she is still learning how to manage her abilities.
Also when I was in school the regular level classes felt like a joke (the work) and a zoo to me (the way the kids behaved). The top level classes just felt like regular school, in which I could just do work that was not super easy. It was still very easy to me, but it wasn't like a complete joke. The school system isn't always so good.
I love the school my kids are in, though.0 -
A few more things to clarify:
1. My kids all do regular chores. They do not get paid for these chores because that's part of being a family. We work together to take care of things around the house. The chores I listed are the things that I will normally pay a small allowance for. These are "extras", so that they have an opportunity to make some money and learn to manage it. But only after regular chores are done. I have 5 children at home. No free rides! I regularly get compliments on how clean my house is though.
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
3. I can't try the "take away privacy" thing. He shares a room with his 8 year old step brother. He pretty much has no privacy anyway. Never has. :laugh:
ETA: I can't spell.
It sounds like you are an awesome mom!0 -
A few more things to clarify:
1. My kids all do regular chores. They do not get paid for these chores because that's part of being a family. We work together to take care of things around the house. The chores I listed are the things that I will normally pay a small allowance for. These are "extras", so that they have an opportunity to make some money and learn to manage it. But only after regular chores are done. I have 5 children at home. No free rides! I regularly get compliments on how clean my house is though.
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
3. I can't try the "take away privacy" thing. He shares a room with his 8 year old step brother. He pretty much has no privacy anyway. Never has. :laugh:
ETA: I can't spell.
You may be facing a losing battle on this one! I refused to do homework, because it was stupid and I didn't need it. I considered it a waste of my time and I didn't care if the teacher failed me for it. It was a stubborn, stupid attitude to have, and one that came back to bite me in the butt later on, but at that age, there was nothing my parents could do to convince me that endless busy work was a necessary part of success in my future.
That being said, my parents never tried the consequence/reward system with me, so who's to say if it would have worked.0 -
Also, speaking from personal experience AND professional training. GT students ARE NOT motivated by grades, period. They don't care if they get an A and if they think what they are learning holds no value, they're not going to do it. There is a BIG difference between a high achiever student and a GT student. Most teachers don't know how to work with (or even recognize) a true GT student.
That's why I suggested connecting the consequence/reward system to career goals that your kid might be interested in. At a certain maturity level a GT kid should be able to understand that while what they're doing right now might NOT actually be that important to their future, their GPA absolutely WILL be important towards being able to get in to the schools/classes/careers that ARE interesting to them.
One semester in an on level english class in 9th grade was MORE than enough to convince me that I needed to be in honors for the rest of my highschool career. I was DESPERATE to get out.0 -
Hmmm.. I'm not a parent so I might not be the right person to give an idea .. however I know what being a strict parent can do to a kid .. I experienced it and it only drove me crazy as a kid until i knew it was my life not their life and took control and did pretty well .. so my idea for you is .... let him not do his homework! let him fail once ..twice .. and let gim take responsibility he will learn! everything has consequences once he taste that bad feeling of being such a loser .. next time he will do his homework for sure.. Anyway wish you luck and damn parenting is a hard work
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I taught parenting classes for years. My advice is to make sure that the *punishment* fits the misbehavior. Logical consequences work. Consistency with redirecting the behavior and parents being in control are something to keep in mind.0
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A few more things to clarify:
1. My kids all do regular chores. They do not get paid for these chores because that's part of being a family. We work together to take care of things around the house. The chores I listed are the things that I will normally pay a small allowance for. These are "extras", so that they have an opportunity to make some money and learn to manage it. But only after regular chores are done. I have 5 children at home. No free rides! I regularly get compliments on how clean my house is though.
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
3. I can't try the "take away privacy" thing. He shares a room with his 8 year old step brother. He pretty much has no privacy anyway. Never has. :laugh:
ETA: I can't spell.
I'm sorry, but... Where do we stand on Duct Tape and Burpees???0 -
A few more things to clarify:
1. My kids all do regular chores. They do not get paid for these chores because that's part of being a family. We work together to take care of things around the house. The chores I listed are the things that I will normally pay a small allowance for. These are "extras", so that they have an opportunity to make some money and learn to manage it. But only after regular chores are done. I have 5 children at home. No free rides! I regularly get compliments on how clean my house is though.
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
3. I can't try the "take away privacy" thing. He shares a room with his 8 year old step brother. He pretty much has no privacy anyway. Never has. :laugh:
ETA: I can't spell.
I'm sorry, but... Where do we stand on Duct Tape and Burpees???
Burpees legal, duct tape not legal. :ohwell:0 -
A few more things to clarify:
1. My kids all do regular chores. They do not get paid for these chores because that's part of being a family. We work together to take care of things around the house. The chores I listed are the things that I will normally pay a small allowance for. These are "extras", so that they have an opportunity to make some money and learn to manage it. But only after regular chores are done. I have 5 children at home. No free rides! I regularly get compliments on how clean my house is though.
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
3. I can't try the "take away privacy" thing. He shares a room with his 8 year old step brother. He pretty much has no privacy anyway. Never has. :laugh:
ETA: I can't spell.
I'm sorry, but... Where do we stand on Duct Tape and Burpees???
Burpees legal, duct tape not legal. :ohwell:
Not even over smart little mouths??0 -
Not even over smart little mouths??
If it was, my life as a teacher would be a LOT simpler :laugh: :drinker:0 -
It's funny you should say this. I had lunch with my dad today, and he said this same thing. Maybe he's bored and the grades aren't enough to motivate him. It's just so unlike him to half-*kitten* anything. Maybe he does just feel stuck and bored.Also, speaking from personal experience AND professional training. GT students ARE NOT motivated by grades, period. They don't care if they get an A and if they think what they are learning holds no value, they're not going to do it. There is a BIG difference between a high achiever student and a GT student. Most teachers don't know how to work with (or even recognize) a true GT student.
That's why I suggested connecting the consequence/reward system to career goals that your kid might be interested in. At a certain maturity level a GT kid should be able to understand that while what they're doing right now might NOT actually be that important to their future, their GPA absolutely WILL be important towards being able to get in to the schools/classes/careers that ARE interesting to them.
One semester in an on level english class in 9th grade was MORE than enough to convince me that I needed to be in honors for the rest of my highschool career. I was DESPERATE to get out.
I think I need to go call the school and get a face to face meeting with the principal.0 -
Already standard procedure. Need new material.A few more things to clarify:
1. My kids all do regular chores. They do not get paid for these chores because that's part of being a family. We work together to take care of things around the house. The chores I listed are the things that I will normally pay a small allowance for. These are "extras", so that they have an opportunity to make some money and learn to manage it. But only after regular chores are done. I have 5 children at home. No free rides! I regularly get compliments on how clean my house is though.
2. Several people asked if he may be struggling with the material. I should have included in my OP that, while my son is failing several classes, it is ONLY because of the missing homework. For instance, in Advanced Math, he has a 98% average for tests, quizzes and classwork, but a 45% in homework. So, he's failing. It is the same story with the other classes. He understands. This is strictly a homework driven.
3. I can't try the "take away privacy" thing. He shares a room with his 8 year old step brother. He pretty much has no privacy anyway. Never has. :laugh:
ETA: I can't spell.
I'm sorry, but... Where do we stand on Duct Tape and Burpees??? 0 -
When they were little, I would give my kids "the blackout" ... Nothing electronic (except a lightbulb) for x amount of time. Small things would get a 2 hour blackout. Big .. maybe even a 48 hour blackout.
Now that they're in high school, they dont get the WiFi password of the day until homework is done.
Ohhhhh...keeping the WiFi password on lockdown. Excellent one!0 -
Lock him in a room and make him listen to Justin Bieber all day and all night! LOL!0
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When i was little, my parents would make me sit next to the TV (facing away from it) while they watched it. I was only allowed to get up to use the bathroom(where i got aprox. 3 minutes in), and to sleep. In my room, my parents would take away everything but my bed and dresser.0
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I teach 7th grade. My advice would be to, as much as possible, focus on the positive. If he does one assignment, give him 15 minutes of screen time. If he does two, give him 20 minutes. Baby steps...0
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bump for later...0
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I teach middle school math. Thank you for trying to get your child to do his part! I have lots of students who don't do homework. I've tried everything on my end, and some of them just won't do it.
I had one very bright young man do little to no homework last quarter. He missed two weeks of school, and I repeatedly gave him the work and emailed parents to remind them that he needed to turn in homework and take missed assessments. In addition, I offered to help him at lunch. The parents assured me via email that he would get the work in.
Well... the quarter ended, and he did not step up, and as a result, his grade for the quarter was an E. (His exam grade was a B, so its not that he can't do it). I submitted grades yesterday, and now I wait for the other shoe to fall. Once the parents see the grade for Algebra, which is considered a high school class, I am sure they will be right on it, now that its too late. Natural consequences are always best.
Please continue to support your son. He will figure it out because you are doing your job as a parent:-)0
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