Punishment for my son. I need ideas!

Ksh1055

Kids his age have no conception of the consequences of not doing homework and how that will affect his ability to make money and support himself when he is older, nor does he really care. At this age they are invincible and nothing is going to convince them otherwise. Do you remember how you felt when you were his age? Is school harder for him than it was for you? Is this a stubborn streak or is there a deeper problem with the homework (may be he doesn't understand completely, needs more one on one), What kind of student has he been up until now? There are so many variables it's hard to decipher what would be the best route for him and for yourself. Believe me, I know exactly frustrating it can be. I went through about 6 months of CRAP, sass, etc., from my daughter when she was about this age. At one point (not for too long) she had no electronics in her room at all, no talking on phone, no friends over and going out, etc. You have to find what will work for your son.

I believe in making the punishment fit the crime, i.e., no homework, no tv, music, etc.),. Keep track and give him an incentive he can relate to when he finishes and turns in his homework either daily or weekly (money, treat, movie, friends, extra play time,etc.). Have you discussed with his teacher(s)/counselor ideas that may help him get on track?

It is my opinion that making him do chores as a punishment for not doing homework will just lead to resentment. By now, I expect he is already picking up after himself, sorting/putting away laundry, keeping his room somewhat cleaned up and receiving an allowance for doing so. Money is the incentive here.

Whatever you end up doing, by consistent and firm. I know that it's hard and most of the time it's harder on the parent than the child, but know this is a stage and won't last forever (hopefully).

jitsuda

I was once like your son..

My dad spent a whole year working with me every 2 - 3 hours after work just to make sure homework was done.
He personally asked the teacher to tell him what homework I had.. and made sure I had it done.
He double checked my school bag to make sure I had it.
I hid some from him, but got caught. He made sure I know he loved me and wanted to help. We still do fun things together on weekends.

I barely passed that grade. I was much better the next year never wanted to fall into that circle again.

Just my very personal experience related to the issue. I turned out pretty well Finished med school, 2 residencies and so close to completing my fellowship.

phantomjam

How about the old-fashioned approach? "Son! Sit at that table and do your homework where I can keep an eye on you."

Also, are you sure that he doesn't have some reason, other than laziness, for avoiding the work? Procrastination, if that's what this is, often happens because a person is trying to avoid anxiety.

Next, in my opinion, chores are a duty of all family members and no one gets paid for chores because you don't charge family. Children learn about money management instead by sitting with their parents to plan the budget and running their own business to make pocket change. At least that's how my parents ran their house.

MickeyCastello

Glad to see this thread is still going. I was discussing this with a neighbor, and she said her mother actually went to school with her for a whole day. Then her mother told her that next time it would be for a week, and so on. That was all it took for her to do her homework every day.

nilbogger

So is he doing his homework yet?