Non judgemental Friends Please....?
Replies
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but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Reporting you for logic!
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OP, just remember: judgement on your diary doesn't equal judgement on your character. Someone pointing out how you can eat better or move more does not mean they are saying you aren't a unique, awesome person.
You say you need to make major changes - good for you for admitting it. However, nothing changes until something changes, you know? If you are serious about this, it helps to have some no-nonsense friends on your list to give it to you straight. I get that it can be annoying to have someone pick apart every decision you make (hence my private diary - I don't need someone who doesn't know my goals asking me 'Did you really need that ice cream?' Yes, I did really need it. Thanks.), but sometimes it is the wake up call we need.
Anyway, good luck.0 -
anyone want a great group.. you can join us feel free to add me.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/18785-motivation-support-and-accountability
i do agree we all have to do whats right for each of us, but i also think we need to be accountable and own our choices and realize excuses wont get us results.. i love supporting my friends and my group is amazing.
anyone wants to give advice i take it.. some will work for me some wont, but i always listen.. im always willing to learn.. i have released 204 pounds, but i don't know everything.. i learn something new everyday and that's because im open to others thoughts and opinions..doesn't mean ill do what they say. it may not work for me, but i at least i hear them out.. maybe its just me, if im doing something wrong i would hope my friends would call me out on it..that's accountability.
if you don't want accountability . you may want to keep your diary closed.. just a suggestion.0 -
Solid advice isn't judgement. It's solid advice. Learn to spot and listen to solid advice, and ignore the bad.0
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but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye0 -
You are not setting yourself up for failure, You have decided to make this a positive experience. Choose your friends wisely. Negative people are like a slow acting poison. They are immune to the poison they spread so they need new victims.
I hope you are successful with your weight loss and I want you to remember your best friend is you.
that is why i asked them to keep away
thank you FR sent 0 -
Mmmm, this topic seems to be spinning rapidly away from the point of us all being members of MFP in the first place! I would greatly appreciate support and would really like to be able to support others, we're all aiming for the same end game (albeit for different reasons and different amounts of weight) but we're all going to achieve it using very different methods. I welcome and am more than happy to listen to advice, hints and tips, it doesn't mean that I am going to follow them all or that each one will suit me or my lifestyle and I may even have some little ways of helping others but I won't be offended if they are not taken on board
I do however wish everyone lots of luck regardless of how they are getting there
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but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….0 -
Add me if you want
I agree with all the others; we are all on the same boat, so why judging others if we're fighting for the same goal? 0 -
Add me if you wish, I only reply if I have something nice to say. If you want my honest opinion on something I trust you will ask for it, otherwise I assume you want some cheer leaders, I can do that :happy:0
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*sniff sniff*
I didn't get a FR
*feeling judged/not one of the cool kids*0 -
Add me if you want
I agree with all the others; we are all on the same boat, so why judging others if we're fighting for the same goal?
No.
I'm on a different boat. Mine is cooler.
Sorry for being judgmental.
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but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou0 -
<<< perfect
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Add me if you wish, I only reply if I have something nice to say. If you want my honest opinion on something I trust you will ask for it, otherwise I assume you want some cheer leaders, I can do that :happy:
lol, thanks, thats what i look forward to 0 -
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
:laugh:
So funny because the ones who you think will be judgemental will not only be the ones who say "go girl" about chocolate, but also eat all the chocolate with you. I know I do. It's called everything in moderation. That's the key to long term success and stability. :flowerforyou:
But I won't judge.
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Is that you in the pic? Where is the "overweight" part of you?
If I cannot judge what you eat or not eat, then I cannot be supportive. Do you want someone to say "way to go", "good job" or "keep up the good work" even when you are eating unhealthy, then you do not want support. You want someone to agree with you.
:flowerforyou:
You want to judge what people eat???? Seriously? How is that supportive? I'm sorry but who has a perfect diet? I don't even want a perfect diet. I'm going to have a donut from time to time (and enjoy it) and I'll be darned if someone is going to "judge" that and tell me it's wrong.0 -
Im starting to feel weird about some of the users. lets make this easy for me and for you. if you are the encouraging, motivating, inspiring type who will only give advice when asked for, please send me a request or leave a comment and i will return the favour. i will encourage and motivate you and will never give unsolicited advice. and the others who are not any of the above please dont leave a comment. lets try and not waste you're time as well as mine.0
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I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???0
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hi...my name is sam. i have spent most of my life watching my weight go up and come down. i know what it takes to "manage" it i guess but i tend to really like all the wrong things and "fail" to do what is best for me. i understand what you mean by not wanting to be judged. it not that you don't want the truth...like hearing "You know you ate all the wrong things yesturday." That is no big deal right. that is just the truth and well you know that anyway when it happens. What I always need to know is that i am still in this...that it is not a failure..I need to understand why I went that way that day. to be able to talk openly about food and emotion and what went through my head without someone being mean, nasty, or offering all the answers..."you just need to ....." or "if you would only..." i work myself over pretty good when I transgress and i do not need to be assisted in making myself feel bad. being judgemental is very different from simply telling a person the truth. I can hadle the truth all day. I am an intelligent person and usually aware of the truth. facts are easy to know. Judgement is the assessment of a person from your own point of view and usually with the assumption that you are better or more insightful. Judgement assumes that you have wisdom or insight beyond the others reach. when this is infact not so the person just comes off hurtful and arrogant and is not helpful. Remember that people can only pass judgment when you give them authority to do so. Hope to get to know you better0
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I eat chocolate, and consider it to be important. I'm too busy living my own life and being human to judge what other people eat. (unless someone asks me for advice). Food choices are a very individual and personal choice. We each do what we do for ourselves. We all have good days and bad days, and in-between days. A lot of people here go by IIFYM (if it fits your macros), sounds like that is what you want to do. I can completely understand not wanting people being a helicopter friend over your food diary.
I didn't read the comments, though, so don't really know the direction of this thread. I just saw chocolate.0 -
im sorry but you compltely missed my point.I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???0 -
Good Luck!0
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I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???
0 -
but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you never question what you're doing, how do you expect to grow or progress in ANYTHING?? Regardless of whether we are talking about our health or any other part of our lives, we always have to question what we're doing so we can learn. No one is born just automatically knowing the right way to do everything. We have to question ourselves and be open to feedback from others in order to get better at whatever we're attempting.
Like I said before, good luck OP. You are going to need it.0 -
I eat chocolate, and consider it to be important. I'm too busy living my own life and being human to judge what other people eat. (unless someone asks me for advice). Food choices are a very individual and personal choice. We each do what we do for ourselves. We all have good days and bad days, and in-between days. A lot of people here go by IIFYM (if it fits your macros), sounds like that is what you want to do. I can completely understand not wanting people helicoptering your food diary.
i desperately want to underline "unless someone asks me for advice". thanks 0 -
I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???
Well done.
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