Non judgemental Friends Please....?
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I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???0
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hi...my name is sam. i have spent most of my life watching my weight go up and come down. i know what it takes to "manage" it i guess but i tend to really like all the wrong things and "fail" to do what is best for me. i understand what you mean by not wanting to be judged. it not that you don't want the truth...like hearing "You know you ate all the wrong things yesturday." That is no big deal right. that is just the truth and well you know that anyway when it happens. What I always need to know is that i am still in this...that it is not a failure..I need to understand why I went that way that day. to be able to talk openly about food and emotion and what went through my head without someone being mean, nasty, or offering all the answers..."you just need to ....." or "if you would only..." i work myself over pretty good when I transgress and i do not need to be assisted in making myself feel bad. being judgemental is very different from simply telling a person the truth. I can hadle the truth all day. I am an intelligent person and usually aware of the truth. facts are easy to know. Judgement is the assessment of a person from your own point of view and usually with the assumption that you are better or more insightful. Judgement assumes that you have wisdom or insight beyond the others reach. when this is infact not so the person just comes off hurtful and arrogant and is not helpful. Remember that people can only pass judgment when you give them authority to do so. Hope to get to know you better0
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I eat chocolate, and consider it to be important. I'm too busy living my own life and being human to judge what other people eat. (unless someone asks me for advice). Food choices are a very individual and personal choice. We each do what we do for ourselves. We all have good days and bad days, and in-between days. A lot of people here go by IIFYM (if it fits your macros), sounds like that is what you want to do. I can completely understand not wanting people being a helicopter friend over your food diary.
I didn't read the comments, though, so don't really know the direction of this thread. I just saw chocolate.0 -
im sorry but you compltely missed my point.I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???0 -
Good Luck!0
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I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???
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but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you never question what you're doing, how do you expect to grow or progress in ANYTHING?? Regardless of whether we are talking about our health or any other part of our lives, we always have to question what we're doing so we can learn. No one is born just automatically knowing the right way to do everything. We have to question ourselves and be open to feedback from others in order to get better at whatever we're attempting.
Like I said before, good luck OP. You are going to need it.0 -
I eat chocolate, and consider it to be important. I'm too busy living my own life and being human to judge what other people eat. (unless someone asks me for advice). Food choices are a very individual and personal choice. We each do what we do for ourselves. We all have good days and bad days, and in-between days. A lot of people here go by IIFYM (if it fits your macros), sounds like that is what you want to do. I can completely understand not wanting people helicoptering your food diary.
i desperately want to underline "unless someone asks me for advice". thanks
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I'm encouraging you to eat more chocolate. There, did I do that right???
Well done.
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Hey anyone can me if they like..,happy to encourage.0
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but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you never question what you're doing, how do you expect to grow or progress in ANYTHING?? Regardless of whether we are talking about our health or any other part of our lives, we always have to question what we're doing so we can learn. No one is born just automatically knowing the right way to do everything. We have to question ourselves and be open to feedback from others in order to get better at whatever we're attempting.
Like I said before, good luck OP. You are going to need it.
i chose to read just the last line. thanks 0 -
I have about 60 lbs to lose myself. In for a few friends, I won't judge, but will call ya out on it if I see you consistently doing something you told yourself you won't be doing. Or not doing what you had planned too.
Mine is Dr pepper, I had one yesterday, first in 5 days, now if I have one, or more, for several days I do want a friend that will stand up and remind me of My goals. I don't consider that judging, but accountability, which I think is the real point of friends on this site....at least for me.
So, send a request if this is good for you :drinker:0 -
but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you never question what you're doing, how do you expect to grow or progress in ANYTHING?? Regardless of whether we are talking about our health or any other part of our lives, we always have to question what we're doing so we can learn. No one is born just automatically knowing the right way to do everything. We have to question ourselves and be open to feedback from others in order to get better at whatever we're attempting.
Like I said before, good luck OP. You are going to need it.
i chose to read just the last line. thanks
Of course you did. SMH. Well, we'll be here when you get to the "why am I not losing" thread, followed by the "I can't break this plateau" thread and, of course, the "MFP bullies are so mean!!!" thread. Open your mind OP. You just might learn something.0 -
but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you take proper diet advice from the judgemental meanies, you won't FEEL like giving up, because they've been there, done it, found a way to comfortably apply it and conquered it and you should take this opportunity to bring these learned people into your life. I can guarantee the way you're going about it now you will not learn how to fix your problem for life. This is serious!0 -
but what is your are doing something wrong that is making you gain more weight? Do you still want encouragement to gain more weight?
seems counterproductive…
I friend people bc they have had success and will tell me when I am doing things wrong, because I want to learn from them and do it right...
Suggesting something is entirely different from judgment. besides i know quite a lot about weight loss because ive been reading about it for years and have lost weight in the past . the only problem i have is sticking to my plan and the only thing that can help is encouragement. i have a clear idea of what i want. and im asking for exactly that. unsolicited advice? not so much. if i want advice, ill ask. i dont see what the problem is. but like i said ive found quite a number of motivating people and after a few messages i got up and worked out for the second time today. we all need different things. everybody isnt here looking for advice. some are just here for support and encouragement. anyways have a good day, bye
Curious - If you know so much about it then why are you back here? Doesn't that imply that what you know might not be correct, and looking to people have had long term success would make more sense?
If I post a workout and one of my friends says "dude, you are doing way too much volume, or this is not right" just because I did not solicit it does not mean that it is not good advice. That is kind of advice that i want. I would rather discover now that I am doing something wrong then waiting six months down the road….
Like i said, i know enough about weight loss to actually lose weight. i never question what I'm doing. Its the motivation that fades away and id like some friends who say " Go girl" rather than ask me why i ate chocolate. because i have my food habits and exercise under control.in case you missed it before, im here to find people who will just say "you can do it" when i need to hear it and even when i dont. And i will do the same for them. If my weight loss habits dont work, ill ask for advice. But for now, i just need some friends who can give me a little push when i feel like giving up.
I dont think theres anymore explaining to do. i need what i need. no offense, thankyou
If you never question what you're doing, how do you expect to grow or progress in ANYTHING?? Regardless of whether we are talking about our health or any other part of our lives, we always have to question what we're doing so we can learn. No one is born just automatically knowing the right way to do everything. We have to question ourselves and be open to feedback from others in order to get better at whatever we're attempting.
Like I said before, good luck OP. You are going to need it.
i chose to read just the last line. thanks
Of course you did. SMH. Well, we'll be here when you get to the "why am I not losing" thread, followed by the "I can't break this plateau" thread and, of course, the "MFP bullies are so mean!!!" thread. Open your mind OP. You just might learn something.
All, im going to say is, i will post my before and after pictures within 6 months on this very same post. i dont know how the forum works, so if this post is deleted by then i will open up a new post and post them. watch me.0 -
Is that you in the pic? Where is the "overweight" part of you?
If I cannot judge what you eat or not eat, then I cannot be supportive. Do you want someone to say "way to go", "good job" or "keep up the good work" even when you are eating unhealthy, then you do not want support. You want someone to agree with you.
:flowerforyou:
You want to judge what people eat???? Seriously? How is that supportive? I'm sorry but who has a perfect diet? I don't even want a perfect diet. I'm going to have a donut from time to time (and enjoy it) and I'll be darned if someone is going to "judge" that and tell me it's wrong.
Yes, when those on my FL are not eating well I refuse to say "good job" on their diary. I am not going to sugar coat anything. When they eat 1000 cals and exercise for over an hr an day, I say something and I delete those who constantly net under 1200 cals/day. It's about being healthy and learning from one another. If I drink too many Starbucks in a day, I want someone to call me out on it. It's ok that you and I are not in each other's support system. To each their own. I simply made a statement that obviously upset the "rainbows and glitter" crowd for which I will not apologize. Maybe you guys who do not appreciate "judging" stop judging me. :flowerforyou:0 -
Personally I'm on maintenance and have never been overweight, so no matter what my food diary looks like I chose it to be that way. I chose to go over or to have treats that day. It's all part of living a well balanced life. Also, I am a grown adult and doing this for myself, I am not accountable to anyone but myself when it comes to the food I choose to put into my mouth and belly. Sometimes it looks like my dairy may be low, but it just means I haven't logged. By the next day I will have logged and it will likely be in the 1900 to 2500 range. Which is fine, since I weigh 102 pounds.0
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Personally I'm on maintenance and have never been overweight, so no matter what my food diary looks like I chose it to be that way. I chose to go over or to have treats that day. It's all part of living a well balanced life. Also, I am a grown adult and doing this for myself, I am not accountable to anyone but myself when it comes to the food I choose to put into my mouth and belly. Sometimes it looks like my dairy may be low, but it just means I haven't logged. By the next day I will have logged and it will likely be in the 1900 to 2500 range. Which is fine, since I weigh 102 pounds.
yes, you need to be accountable to nobody but yourself because there is no one who knows you better than you. You're issues, you're preferances, youre medical history all have an influence what you eat. if those issues are too personal to share and people start judging you knowing nothing about you, its honestly frustrating and im glad some people agree 0 -
I like to think of my FL as a fight-to-the-death arena of judgement gladiators.
Didn't consume 500g of raw eggy protein-licious goodness?
JUDGED.
Didn't name your firstborn Arnold Schwarzenegger?
JUDGED MOAR.
Can't deadlift 6 times your body weight?
WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?
Needless to say, we all get along delightfully. Best of luck with what you're looking for OP:)0
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