Another stupid relationship post... Need opinions :/

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Figure out what your definitive deal breakers are and if you're not getting what you need leave. There are things that you can work through in most marriages (balance of sex life, communication, etc), then there are some things that are not necessarily workable (one person is adamant they want kids and the other never wants kids). It's your life to fullfil, so fill it.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

You know this is a fitness/weight loss website, right?

Hrmph, I've been doing it wrong this whole time. I thought this was farmersonly.com

skullshank

its time to go.

the differences you have are MAJOR life points IMO.

you are still relatively young, and i think that you would kick yourself down the road if you settle now.

and for the love of satan, PLEASE go have some more orgasms! you have lost time to make up for!

Marcia315

He's never actually given me an orgasm (other partners certainly have... he just genuinely doesn't seem to care, or is not interested in learning how to please me).

um. I read through this whole thing, and the whole time I'm like "wow, that's a lot of issues", but then I seriously heard the brakes slam in my head when I read this.


GIRL, ARE YOU CRAZY? get out now. of course the biggest issue is that you want kids and he doesn't, but seriously, you've been with him HOW LONG and he's never given you an orgasm? SAY WHAT?


sorry, I'm just in shock over here, don't mind me. seriously, just break up.

Hell yeah.

obrientp

Like others have said, you already know the answer.

littlemissfitnurse

His mentality is set and you will only resent him if you put up with a standard of living that does not meet your needs. Do YOU, girl. Along the way, you will find somebody with like interests.

CMoeDee

So reading from your tone and style, you sound like you're in that part of a relationship where you know it's gone bad, but you think it might be your fault somehow. I get that, and I get needing to hear it from outside. It's not your fault, btw, and it can be really hard to see what needs to happen when you're in it. You know what you want, and he isn't providing it. The answer's pretty clear on that one. He's also done some things that make him hard to trust, and you deserve to try and find someone you can trust, and who values and shares your desires - both in life and in sexytimes.

ActuarialChef

You know this is a fitness/weight loss website, right?

You know this is the Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games section, right? And that not all of life has to revolve around fitness and weight loss?

Give her a break. She's just trying to come to the community that has (likely) supported her through her weight loss journey and get some support on the relationship front.

That being said,
OP, GTFO of that relationship. You deserve to be happy in all of those areas.

AntWrig

The problem could be you as well. I highly doubt all the issues are on this guy.

KristinaB83

" .....he just genuinely doesn't seem to care, or is not interested in learning how to please me."

And I'm out!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Sometimes you can really love someone and not be compatible with them. It sucks, but it happens. Marriages and lifelong relationships are hard enough without having major differences in what you want out of life. To me, between the kids thing and the sex thing (he doesn't seem to care? That seems like a bad sign), it doesn't sound like the two of you are a good fit for each other.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Sex and kids especially are going to be deal breakers.

Yup, yup.

paladinpasha

well, i didn't read the whole thing because as soon as i read that he lied to you about his age, i stopped reading it. break up with him. he lied to you at the very beginning over a simple thing. he is not worth of your time kiddo!

WannabeStressFree

I think you know what to do, listen to your gut, too many dealbreakers. Do it while you are still young, you know what to do.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

But does he care if you run in the bad section of town at night?

rml_16

I think this is a decision you need to make yourself. Decide if these are make-or-break issues, tell him your decision and then either choose to stay knowing you may never get married or have children or choose to move on because those things are important to you. I don't know how important they are TO YOU. Only you know that.

MissSarahAllison315

He's never actually given me an orgasm (other partners certainly have... he just genuinely doesn't seem to care, or is not interested in learning how to please me).

um. I read through this whole thing, and the whole time I'm like "wow, that's a lot of issues", but then I seriously heard the brakes slam in my head when I read this.


GIRL, ARE YOU CRAZY? get out now. of course the biggest issue is that you want kids and he doesn't, but seriously, you've been with him HOW LONG and he's never given you an orgasm? SAY WHAT?


sorry, I'm just in shock over here, don't mind me. seriously, just break up.

BUT SERIOUSLY.

kadpotts

"sweet" does not a relationship make.

If you're questionning the relationship, I'd either seek counselling (alone and together) or find out what you want. No kids. no sex. different views on things. Perhaps the time is now.

_TastySnoBalls_

The only part I actually read was the "sex life" portion, that would be enough to make me run. Get out. The sooner, the better.

XxQueenMxX

Unless you never want to get married, or have kids then leave. It's always going to be about what HE wants.

ItsCasey

1. I would've ditched the guy the second I found out he lied about his age. The dude didn't even know you, and yet he took it upon himself to decide what you would and would not find acceptable? And he didn't tell you the truth ... you had to discover it for yourself? Really?

2. You stuck with him and now realize that you also don't agree on children, marriage, or sex. Call me old-fashioned, but I think those are all dealbreakers. You are not going to change his mind. If he doesn't want kids and you do, it's not going to work. If you want to get married and he doesn't, it's not going to work (and if you didn't want to get married, you wouldn't have brought it up in this thread). If you don't see eye to eye on sex, it's not going to work. Period.

But I get the feeling that you'd rather have someone with whom you aren't compatible than be alone.

rml_16

You know this is a fitness/weight loss website, right?

The MFP police will arrest you if you post about anything not directly fitness related, too. No one else EVER does!

MrsG31

As the opinion of this married woman, I think a lot of the issues you listed will cause regret and bitterness down the road if you keep tolerating them. I know you have invested a lot of time in this guy, but at 26 you are obviously starting to realize the type of person you truly are and what type of person you need and seems like you may be realizing that this man is not it. If you decide to end it, just know that it IS going to suck at first, it IS going to hurt, and be hard, and emotionally draining. But like the other person stated, if you can see your life going on without and still be pretty freaking great (not in those exact words), the after the initial shock wears off, you will start to heal and live life with a new attitude. Best of luck!

thatgorsuchkid

Admittedly.........TL;DR - stopped at him being 40 and never married. Run!!!

Haha, me too@!!!!!

TheSlorax

The problem could be you as well. I highly doubt all this issues is on this guy.

Nobody is "at fault" in this situation. They are simply two people with very different ideals and motivations. Some of it can be worked on, sure, but for the most part they just have different qualities and places they want their lives to go.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

He's never actually given me an orgasm (other partners certainly have... he just genuinely doesn't seem to care, or is not interested in learning how to please me).

um. I read through this whole thing, and the whole time I'm like "wow, that's a lot of issues", but then I seriously heard the brakes slam in my head when I read this.


GIRL, ARE YOU CRAZY? get out now. of course the biggest issue is that you want kids and he doesn't, but seriously, you've been with him HOW LONG and he's never given you an orgasm? SAY WHAT?


sorry, I'm just in shock over here, don't mind me. seriously, just break up.

Hell yeah.

I completely missed that part . . . no orgasm in 4 years that wasn't self induced? If I wanted to spend a lifetime pleasuring myself I would have never bother dating anyone in the first place! You've stuck around 3.5 years longer than I would have . . . who am I kidding, he would have been gone after the 4th date.

AntWrig

The problem could be you as well. I highly doubt all this issues is on this guy.

Nobody is "at fault" in this situation. They are simply two people with very different ideals and motivations. Some of it can be worked on, sure, but for the most part they just have different qualities and places they want their lives to go.

Agreed.

patrickblo13

I think this is a decision you need to make yourself. Decide if these are make-or-break issues, tell him your decision and then either choose to stay knowing you may never get married or have children or choose to move on because those things are important to you. I don't know how important they are TO YOU. Only you know that.

Says the woman that won't do something to make her fiancé happy

wheird

If he doesnt care about giving you an orgasm, he doesnt love you.


And really, you two want completely different things in life. I know it hurts to admit it and will be difficult to untangle since you are living together, but I am sorry.

Cre8veLifeR

I think you know the answer to your question. No need to seek validation. Most importantly though, for me, would be HIS HEALTH. He's 40 now and you are still in your 20's...when you are 40 and have taken care of yourself, he will be 54 - will he be a broken down 54 or a healthy 54? And, if things suck now, they will suck more when you are married. Not easy to break it, I know, but better before there are kids, marriage, etc.