Another stupid relationship post... Need opinions :/

LassoOfTruth

Leave him.

He's not for you.

stongjos

I think you should let him read your post.

UsedToBeHusky

Honestly, it doesn't really seem like you guys are on the same page. It may be time for you to move on. You're still young. If you wait around for a proposal/marriage/kids, it sounds like you are going to be wasting your time. Those are things that you want, and what you want is important.

Best of luck!

Docmahi

sounds like you just wrote 5 paragraphs about how you need to break up with a guy and want us to agree

I totally agree

break up

Cadaverous_Bones

You need to sit down and have a serious talk to HIM about all these things. It sounds like you both want different things in life, and if you do truly care about each other you need to talk to him. If he feels the way he does about all these things like marriage and kids, You need to break it off because it is a waste of time to continue down a road with no future. & He should definitely be trying to please you in bed! I would break up with him at that alone!!

Losing_Sarah

Break up. You want kids, he doesn't. Duh. Oh, and he lied about his age.

You are young and have time to date so you can find the right person. Seriously, just break up. A marriage between you two will not last.

darkrose20

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

He's never actually given me an orgasm (other partners certainly have... he just genuinely doesn't seem to care, or is not interested in learning how to please me).

um. I read through this whole thing, and the whole time I'm like "wow, that's a lot of issues", but then I seriously heard the brakes slam in my head when I read this.


GIRL, ARE YOU CRAZY? get out now. of course the biggest issue is that you want kids and he doesn't, but seriously, you've been with him HOW LONG and he's never given you an orgasm? SAY WHAT?


sorry, I'm just in shock over here, don't mind me. seriously, just break up.

Um, yes! I'm sorry, but the age lying and then the no need to feel he needs to please you. Girl, say "bye by, bye!"

gailmelanie

Those are serious issues, all of them. I don't see any hope here, honestly. I won't say he's too old for you, just wrong. Don't settle for anything less than what you think you deserve. If you think you deserve to have an honest partner, one who cares enough about you to give you great orgasms as often as you want them and who choses you out of all the other women he's been with to be his wife, then wait for that. I did and I've been married 17 years now . It doesn't feel like it's been that long. We both look forward to the day when we are alone together again, but we are still happy to be parents for as long as it takes to turn out an adult, and meanwhile we enjoy brief times alone, most of them planned. We reach for each other whenever we want and never turn each other away unless one of us is has had surgery.

MandysChange

Just break up.

/end thread

I second this...

ForeverCharlie

I think deep inside you know what you need to do.

Differences in relationships are ok as long as you come together and compromise. In your situation, it seems like the two of you are not even close to being on the same page. You're like several books apart. You're young and have your life ahead of you. If it's this "bad" right now, I think things will only get worse in the future. The best of luck to you!

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

I think that you are young and you are learning lots about yourself and about your relationship. There are millions of men out there who are perfect for you. It is ok to be selfish. If you decide to stay or leave, keep learning about yourself and what you want. You may decide to stay and work in these issues (and something may change) or you may decide to stay a few more years before you leave him because you still have stuff to learn. You are going to be all right no matter what. My only advice is to keep having fun with your girlfriends. The women in my life keep me sane sometimes:)

burlingtongrl

It doesn't matter how much time you have invested in the relationship or that you might hurt his feelings. He is not right for you and you are not right for him, just be happy that you realised it now and not 10 years down the road. It is your life, but if it were me, I'd end it before he does propose. Best of luck.

Oodlez

I can say the children thing is a big problem starter along with the small lie about his age.

I had a boyfriend that lied that he was allergic to peanut butter (the most STUPID lie of the year, but it happened) if you accept the stupid lies it'll leave more opportunity for the bigger lies.

And the children thing; I don't want kids (that may change down the road but it may not) so when I do my seldom dating I always am sure to tell guys I don't plan for children. Most guys never call me back because they do. So if it is TRULY something you want, and TRULY something he doesn't want, that is your queue to leave.

Plus, if sex is boring and he isn't interested in expanding that's, personally, a deal breaker for me.

nilbogger

So, like... why are you still with this dude?

MG_Fit

Do you get the be the mistress or second wife too?

Ferrous_Female_Dog

It sounds like your relationship is starting to get a little co-dependent, at least on his side.

I have no idea why you would spend 4 years with someone who does not bring you to orgasm. I do not understand why anyone, male or female, would do that.

If you want kids FOR SURE and he does not, you have no future. Period.

Those are my two major issues in all of this.

You need to talk to him about these things and I do not see the relationship lasting. You seem bored with things. That doesn't make either of you a bad person, these things just happen some times.

And the fact that you included his lying about his age shows that it does matter to you. If it didn't matter you wouldn't have mentioned it. I think you wanted people to call him out on it to justify your feelings about it.

Just my opinion based on what you've written.

Mainebikerchick

You want kids and he doesn't, obvious dealbreaker.

Lied about his age...what else is he lying about?

Sex is DECENT at best???

Girl, how come you aren't packing RIGHT NOW???

Mischievous_Rascal

Age really isn't the issue here. Everything else though...those are all real big life issues that require both partners to want the same things, or at least be willing to talk and compromise on them. If you're really interested in moving forward with him, seek couples councelling. If not, you've answered your own question, haven't you? And no, it's doesn't make you selfish. It just means you know what will make you feel fulfilled as a person. If he has no interest in you feeling that way with him, trust me, there's someone out there who will.

janeite1990

I bet by the time you wrote this long post it was seeming pretty clear. You didn't really list anything you like or enjoy about him. If you are staying around because you feel like you already "invested" 4 years, don't. You learned a lot about what you want and don't want in four years...time to be done.

Also, this is kind of the reverse of "he's not that into you" (although that seems to be a little bit of the case, too): you're just not that into him. He's a nice guy. No fault, no blame...you just aren't into him.

Do not let this go on to a marriage or parenthood that implodes. You know what is right for you. You've expressed it in your post. Start looking for what it will take to extricate yourself from shared living and make the move.

Really, really good luck to you. I know it will be hard. You will find a man who is honest, who wants kids, and who is good in the bedroom. They are out there, especially for 26 year old women!