Dieting According to Your Star Sign

Achrya · January 2014

Today we are here to talk about the proper diet for your star sign! Obviously our sign heavily influences who we are as people and it’s only a logical step to assume that it also influences how we eat and what we should eat! So, today I bring you a short starter guide.

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Aries (March 21-April 19)

Headstrong and passionate, you are terrific at kicking off a diet, not so great at sustaining one.

Best bet: A short-term, intense regimen that grips your attention...at least until you get sick of it. Or try a weight loss competition with a friend. You can't fathom coming in second.
Eat: Brown rice, bananas, fruit juices, olives, tomatoes, onions, lettuce, cauliflower, cucumbers, spinach, radishes, broccoli, beans, lentils, pumpkin, walnuts, figs, dried apricots, garlic, and mustard
Avoid: Spicy food, salt, and alcohol

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

No sign is more blockheadedly sedentary or accumulates pounds faster.

Best bet: Regular physical activity and constant dietary vigilance. You'll cheerfully and steadfastly stick to a fitness routine if it's predictable, slightly boring, and shows practical
Eat: Cranberries, asparagus, beets, cauliflower, cucumbers, spinach, onions, radishes, pumpkin, nuts, beans, and horseradish
Avoid: Rich and heavy foods, and excessive amounts of carbohydrates

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Thanks to your innate distractibility and near-hysterical nervous system, you burn calories the way a veld brush fire hurls off sparks.

Best bet: Graze daily on a half-dozen small, varied, mealettes that you can pick at while you're doing something else (reading the tabloids, watching TV, listening to your iPod, etc.).
Eat: Plums, oranges, grapefruit, grape juice, raisins, apples, lettuce, cauliflower, spinach, carrots, celery, green beans, tomatoes, vegan yogurt, almonds, cayenne, garlic, and ginger
Avoid: Coffee, root vegetables (e.g. potatoes and radishes), yeasty foods, and refined sugar

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Cancers are emotional eaters, before bedtime snackers, and inveterate food hoarders.

Best bet: With your love of domesticity, retrain yourself to prepare soothing meals that aren't over-the-top fattening. Tenacious and hardworking, you respond beautifully to any long-term fitness program.
Eat: Wheat, whole-grain rye, rice, oats, fruits, bananas, steamed vegetables, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, tomatoes, beets, pumpkins, cucumbers, seaweed, vegan yogurt, beans, and natural sugars
Avoid: Oily foods, salt, sweets, and refined sugar

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Warm, regal, and enthusiastic, you are identifiable by your innate flamboyance (you have a weakness for gold) and inclination to grasp people very tenderly on the arm when talking to them.

Best bet: Appeal to your own vanity by joining a gym, where you can work out in full view of the minions and fantasize ad nauseam about how dazzling you'll look once you've dropped a few pounds.
Eat: Whole grains, rice, citrus fruits, apples, peaches, root vegetables (e.g., potatoes, carrots, and radishes), spinach, broccoli, bitter greens (e.g., kale and mustard greens), nuts, almonds, sunflower seeds, and figs
Avoid: Spicy food, and dairy products

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Practically everything on the planet repulses you, or just plain gives you the shivers (you're the kids who'll eat only beige food one month, organic chimichangas the next), and you're maddeningly (to some) hypersensitive about dietary matters.

Best bet: Vegetarianism, or any fringe diet and fitness program that's pragmatic, detailed, purifying, and ferociously organized.
Eat: Whole grains and cereals, oats, fruit salads, fruit juices, lemon juice, bananas, oranges, leafy greens, vegetables with spices, sprouts, soups, teas, and almonds
Avoid: Rich and heavy foods, and chocolate

Libra (September 23-October 22)

You're so flipping wishy-washy—sorry, magnificently diplomatic—that mid-diet you're liable to change your mind (wait, wouldn't the Zone be better?).

Best bet: A partner to keep you on track, mixed with a balanced, middle-of-the-road eating plan.
Eat: Whole grains, oats, apples, grapes, strawberries, raisins, steamed vegetables, spinach, tomatoes, peas, carrots, corn, nondairy cheeses, vegan yogurt, nuts, and almonds
Avoid: Alcohol, carbonated beverages, yeasty foods, and refined sugar

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

You're infamously all-or-nothing in your approach to exercise and dieting. The nice part is that no zodiac sign has deeper reserves of willpower.

Best bet: Any extreme regimen that involves control over your impulses, mild self-flagellation, and full-body detoxification. Bikram yoga, anyone? Weeklong juice fast?
Eat: Fruits, bananas, black cherries, coconut, steamed vegetables, green salads, leeks, cauliflower, onions, radishes, tomatoes, asparagus, cucumbers, beets, beans, lentils, and almonds
Avoid: Oily foods, yeasty foods, salt, sweets, and refined sugar

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

Prone to claustrophobia, you require freedom, challenge, and open spaces filled with gaily chirping birds. You also tend to put on weight easily, particularly in the hips and thighs.

Best bet: Go hiking rather than sequestering yourself inside a gym. As for dieting, don't even think about it. Just try to eat for health and lead a vigorous, don't-fence-me-in life.
Eat: Whole grains, whole-grain cereals, pears, apples, oranges, strawberries, root vegetables (e.g., potatoes, carrots, and radishes), onions, olives, figs, and garlic
Avoid: Spicy food, sweets, refined sugar, and alcohol

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

You tender, quietly driven, and occasionally melancholic souls respond well to structure.

Best bet: A systematized diet and fitness plan favoring gentler exercise (yoga, Pilates, bands) to counter your tendency to stiffen under pressure. Remember, if you want to get ahead (Capricorns are nothing if not ambitious), it won't hurt to look your best.
Eat: Rice, fruit salads, fruit juices, oranges, lemons, vegetables with spices, cabbage, corn, potatoes, sprouts, soups, teas, peanuts, figs, and flaxseeds
Avoid: Rich and heavy foods, spicy foods, and chocolate

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

You are the "I'll do it my way" individualist of the zodiac, and by a long shot the most intellectual of the three air signs.

Best bet: Aquarius rules the ankles and circulatory system, which is why skiing, treadmilling, and dancing are excellent calorie burners for you. And diet? Follow your own regimen, the more off the beaten track, the better.
Eat: Apples, oranges, pears, steamed vegetables, cabbage, celery, corn, carrots, tomatoes, broccoli, soy yogurt, nuts, dates, figs, cayenne, garlic, ginger, and protein bars
Avoid: Coffee, yeasty foods, and refined sugar

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Kindly, dreamy, poetical, and occasionally self-delusional, you badly need structure in your life, or else you'll start drinking gin and writing god-awful song lyrics.

Best bet: Exercise that gives you the illusion of merging with the universe—yoga, rock climbing, running. To avoid going off the deep end, opt for a rational, three-meal-a-day diet—and hang on to your scales.
Eat: Apples, oranges, pears, steamed vegetables, cabbage, celery, corn, carrots, tomatoes, broccoli, soy yogurt, nuts, dates, figs, cayenne, garlic, ginger, and protein bars
Avoid: Coffee, yeasty foods, and refined sugar

SunofaBeach14 · January 2014

I hear that virgos don't put out either

Phoenix_Warrior · January 2014

As an Aries, I find it lightly hilarious the avoids are actually what I indulge in the most. Go fire sign!

Escape_Artist · January 2014

Awwww shyt! I've been doing it all wrong... :sad:

FredDoyle · January 2014

But, but, what about Ophiuchus?

Greenrun99 · January 2014

Really.... Where is that werewolf diet thread when you need it.

Achrya · January 2014

Awwww shyt! I've been doing it all wrong... :sad:

But now I've brought you the truth and you can start doing it better.

ninerbuff · January 2014

Ahaha! So Capricorn's recommendation is "gentler" exercise.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
And no chocolate!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

And we wonder why people laugh at seer's?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

RivenV · January 2014

Omg! So accurate--Taurus describes me to a T. (Haha!)

So glad I know what to change to get better results. New year, new me!

!11!1!!!one!

TR0berts · January 2014

I'm an Aries, and I'm supposed to avoid spicy food and alcohol? DAFUQ???

I practically live off those two items.

Holly_Roman_Empire · January 2014

No dairy or spicy foods?! What the hell am I supposed to eat?!?!?!

Achrya · January 2014

I'm an Aries, and I'm supposed to avoid spicy food and alcohol? DAFUQ???

I practically live off those two items.

Good health sometimes take sacrifice. And pain. And self flagellation.

I'm a Scorpio and as such starting my week long juice fast tomorrow. Because steak and potatoes tonight.

Amitysk · January 2014

Boo! As a Capricorn I reject the thought of avoiding spicy food!!

TR0berts · January 2014

I'm an Aries, and I'm supposed to avoid spicy food and alcohol? DAFUQ???

I practically live off those two items.

Good health sometimes take sacrifice. And pain. And self flagellation.

Yes, but - according to my doctor and my own general feelings - I'm perfectly healthy.

Maybe my parents lied to me, and I'm really born to the 13th sign - not an Aries at all.

Self-flagellation - is that like... nvm...

Mia_RagazzaTosta · January 2014

I am a Mexican/Italian Capricorn. So...be gone with your sorcery!

GiveMeCoffee · January 2014

No refined sugar or sweets, and cauliflower is good... I give up time to post my I will always be fat thread!

I_Will_End_You · January 2014

Virgo: Practically everything on the planet repulses you

This is far more accurate when it's not in the context of food.

Achrya · January 2014

No dairy or spicy foods?! What the hell am I supposed to eat?!?!?!

Um. I provided a whole list and stuff. Sheesh.

Achrya · January 2014

I am a Mexican/Italian Capricorn. So...be gone with your sorcery!

No one said lifestyle changes are EASY!

randomtai · January 2014

I am a Mexican/Italian Capricorn. So...be gone with your sorcery!

This is a suport foum!!!!111 No need to be RUDE!

ZombieEarhart · January 2014

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Kindly, dreamy, poetical, and occasionally self-delusional, you badly need structure in your life, or else you'll start drinking gin and writing god-awful song lyrics.

Best bet: Exercise that gives you the illusion of merging with the universe—yoga, rock climbing, running. To avoid going off the deep end, opt for a rational, three-meal-a-day diet—and hang on to your scales.
Eat: Apples, oranges, pears, steamed vegetables, cabbage, celery, corn, carrots, tomatoes, broccoli, soy yogurt, nuts, dates, figs, cayenne, garlic, ginger, and protein bars
Avoid: Coffee, yeasty foods, and refined sugar

Nailed it. Gin, yoga, I'm in for whatever "gives me the illusion of merging with the universe."

ETA: I'm looking from the pisces picture to my profile pic and back again: uncanny.

RaeLB · January 2014

I hear that virgos don't put out either

Tell that to my broken bed.

Achrya · January 2014

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Kindly, dreamy, poetical, and occasionally self-delusional, you badly need structure in your life, or else you'll start drinking gin and writing god-awful song lyrics.

Best bet: Exercise that gives you the illusion of merging with the universe—yoga, rock climbing, running. To avoid going off the deep end, opt for a rational, three-meal-a-day diet—and hang on to your scales.
Eat: Apples, oranges, pears, steamed vegetables, cabbage, celery, corn, carrots, tomatoes, broccoli, soy yogurt, nuts, dates, figs, cayenne, garlic, ginger, and protein bars
Avoid: Coffee, yeasty foods, and refined sugar

Nailed it. Gin, yoga, I'm in for whatever "gives me the illusion of merging with the universe."

ETA: I'm looking from the pisces picture to my profile pic and back again: uncanny.

I was gonna say something about being glad someone is taking this seriously, but your ETA distracted me and now I'm stuck in an adorable loop of adorable uncanniness.

NRSPAM · January 2014

Solid advice here!

:happy: BTW, I'm scorpio, where's my picture???!!!! Lol

RaeLB · January 2014

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Practically everything on the planet repulses you, or just plain gives you the shivers (you're the kids who'll eat only beige food one month, organic chimichangas the next), and you're maddeningly (to some) hypersensitive about dietary matters.

Best bet: Vegetarianism, or any fringe diet and fitness program that's pragmatic, detailed, purifying, and ferociously organized.
Eat: Whole grains and cereals, oats, fruit salads, fruit juices, lemon juice, bananas, oranges, leafy greens, vegetables with spices, sprouts, soups, teas, and almonds
Avoid: Rich and heavy foods, and chocolate

I am Vegan BUT comfort food > whole foods ALL. DAY.

But yes, everything repulses me.