Needing a man's perspective...
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No problem...0
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Any guy that would want his wife to make less than him is an selfish knob. You should always root for your spouse's success, and if she has chosen to enter the workforce, that typically means money.
If she makes more than you, awesome! Take her out to celebrate. Better Yet, let her take you out.
THIS ^^^
Partners should always be happy for their other half's success. I earn almost 2x my partner but neither of us cares because 1. it benefits both of us and 2. we both have good and bad days at work. We also work in the same industry (digital marketing) so can talk about work v openly as we know what the other one is talking about!
He's been in the industry for 1 year and I've been in it for 6 - hence difference in pay but we help each other with work stuff whenever possible. You need to support each other, always
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Are we talking about a huge difference or only a few thousand a year? Does he work/earn his own money?
Some of this will sound sexist...
Don't through it in his face - especially during heated moments
When arguing/disagreeing, don't bring it up
never call it "my money"
Don't get on his case if you think he is spending money on frivilous/stupid things (unless it's totally crazy)
Don't ever say..."don't worry i'll pay for it."
Don't say, "it's only because of me that we [INSERT BLANK (Live in this house, go on vacation, afford the cars, etc.]!"
Essentially, think of the situation as reversed. What would you hate to have him say/do? There you go.
These also apply to men.0 -
Do you have a problem with your woman making more money than you? Yes, this is a serious question.I know men who have major "power" issues with their woman making more money than they do. They don't mind spending it, but it's clear they feel threatened by it when they bring it up often.What do you think?
It's not sexy when women make more than men.
Are you being serious?
Yes I'm being serious. You said this was a serious question.
how does a woman who can take care of her self and provide for herself become unsexy??
to me that's even MORE sexy- intelligent- resourceful- and moving forward financially- how is that a turn off?
nothing like a power suit- heels and garters under that power suit with some money to play with- sounds like a big fat winnnnning!!!!!!!
I find it unladylike.
And this is why I'll be forever single. >.<
I spent 11 years in a relationship with someone who refused to work. Said he couldn't due to 'war injuries' (that were proven not to exist, as he was never even in the military). I am very successful and love my career - and I am not going through that again... he was a bit too comfortable with the fact, he negotiated DOWN salary on one of the last jobs I obtained while with him. I'll never get that.
So I have insecurities about being taken advantage of because of my success, but that's my own issue to resolve. Just a little bit of a different perspective. But to be generalized and objectified as unladylike? You, sir, are a classic example of what's wrong with this country most days.0 -
If you're threatened by the fact your partner makes more money than you, then you have issues!! Personally I'd be happy for my husband to make more money than me. Some of the time, he has done. Other times I've made more money than him, and currently I make more money than him.
I would have thought that most people would consider their partner making more money as a good thing because, you know, you both get more money to buy more stuff with and that's good right.....?0 -
Do you have a problem with your woman making more money than you? Yes, this is a serious question.I know men who have major "power" issues with their woman making more money than they do. They don't mind spending it, but it's clear they feel threatened by it when they bring it up often.What do you think?
It's not sexy when women make more than men.
Are you being serious?
Yes I'm being serious. You said this was a serious question.
how does a woman who can take care of her self and provide for herself become unsexy??
to me that's even MORE sexy- intelligent- resourceful- and moving forward financially- how is that a turn off?
nothing like a power suit- heels and garters under that power suit with some money to play with- sounds like a big fat winnnnning!!!!!!!
I find it unladylike.
And this is why I'll be forever single. >.<
I spent 11 years in a relationship with someone who refused to work. Said he couldn't due to 'war injuries' (that were proven not to exist, as he was never even in the military). I am very successful and love my career - and I am not going through that again... he was a bit too comfortable with the fact, he negotiated DOWN salary on one of the last jobs I obtained while with him. I'll never get that.
So I have insecurities about being taken advantage of because of my success, but that's my own issue to resolve. Just a little bit of a different perspective. But to be generalized and objectified as unladylike? You, sir, are a classic example of what's wrong with this country most days.
I didn't say it was unladylike, just that I find it to be. I'm sorry. I won't share my opinion anymore.0 -
Do you have a problem with your woman making more money than you? Yes, this is a serious question.I know men who have major "power" issues with their woman making more money than they do. They don't mind spending it, but it's clear they feel threatened by it when they bring it up often.What do you think?
It's not sexy when women make more than men.
Are you being serious?
Yes I'm being serious. You said this was a serious question.
how does a woman who can take care of her self and provide for herself become unsexy??
to me that's even MORE sexy- intelligent- resourceful- and moving forward financially- how is that a turn off?
nothing like a power suit- heels and garters under that power suit with some money to play with- sounds like a big fat winnnnning!!!!!!!
I find it unladylike.
Good thing I've never done "ladylike" in my life then. :drinker:0 -
I think some other variables can come into play and each relationship needs to figure out it's own plan that will work for them.
For us, we make about the same rate "per hour" (RN and professional firefighter/paramedic).
However, even before we were married, we agreed that he would be the primary breadwinner and I would take care of the kids while working part time to supplement his income.
We were both divorced with young kids when we met, so I was working full time to support myself and my sons.
Because of his schedule (24 on/ 48 off), he was able to care for the kids some of the days I was at work.
One day we were discussing (okay griping) about how I wished I could be at home more with the kids and not work as much and he was saying just the opposite, how he wished he was at work instead of wrangling three small kids in and out of winter coats, hats, mittens, boots etc.
And we both had an "a-ha" moment where I said, "you know, I don't even think twice about doing that with the kids" and he said the same about going to work.
So, we got married, "flipped" our roles and that works for us. 0 -
Just had this conversation with my daughter. She is worried that because she makes more money than her fiance, it could be a problem. I told her it's only a problem if she makes it a problem.
My wife made more than I did for the first 10 years of our marriage. It was not a problem. Now I make more. It's still not a problem.
Unless you're both making minimum wage, someone is likely to make money than the other. What difference does it make?0 -
Do you have a problem with your woman making more money than you? Yes, this is a serious question.I know men who have major "power" issues with their woman making more money than they do. They don't mind spending it, but it's clear they feel threatened by it when they bring it up often.What do you think?
It's not sexy when women make more than men.
Are you being serious?
Yes I'm being serious. You said this was a serious question.
how does a woman who can take care of her self and provide for herself become unsexy??
to me that's even MORE sexy- intelligent- resourceful- and moving forward financially- how is that a turn off?
nothing like a power suit- heels and garters under that power suit with some money to play with- sounds like a big fat winnnnning!!!!!!!
I find it unladylike.
Ah yes, real women should actually be at home wearing dresses and making babies and pies. Didn't you know, ladies?
I just my opinion, which was requested by the OP. I realize not every one shares this opinion.
do you nutella, brah?0 -
I would love it if my wife made more than me. Oh, maybe I could even quit my job. Yes, but then what would I do? Yes I thik a woman who makes more money than me is downright sexy.0
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Absolutely not, unless she also still wants me to pay for everything, the way a lot of women do.0
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Very soon, I will be making more than my boyfriend - He is also 10 years older than I am (and such a stud!!).
He says, "I've got myself a young, sugar mama!"
That being said, we've also split everything 50/50. He couldn't care less.0 -
Could care less if she makes more -- are the bills being paid, is there food on the table, is there a roof over our heads....0
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I got no problem with my sugar mama. She says that as long as my chores are done and dinner is on the table i have nothing to fear!0
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I can't wait for my wife to get famous and make more than me.. (she's an artist). I want to retire early :P Actually, she hates housework, etc. I told her a number of times that if she can find a job making as much or more than me, I will quit and become the house-husband...0
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I just started making more than my husband this year. He was okay with it, had been expecting it since we met due to my career and education vs. his. However his ego was a little hurt when we switch from his health insurance to mine (mine is completely free, saving us $300 a month). He got over it though. Said he'd do more around the house to make up for it, which is weird but whatever, he was volunteering to do more. I don't think he really has done more though.0
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I personally have no problem with it because it will go on bills no mater which one of us makes it and we split the money... we are able to get things that we want but we still make things work...
just have to make sure not to bring it up that either one makes more than the other.. and if either of you get a raise etc.. then it should be celebrated as "WE GOT A RAISE" instead of YOU or I got a raise... if that makes sense...
you have to love each other and go through those valleys together to figure out what works best as a couple..
And Prayer is always a great source...0 -
My husband earns more than I do and likely always will due to his line of work (engineer), but he'd support me and be so proud of me if I landed a job with a higher salary than his. He's supportive and wants to see me doing something I love that gives me value. If that's making $25k a year or $250k a year, he doesn't care. And vice versa. If he decided he wanted to change his career to something he truly loved and cut his salary substantially, I'd be a-okay with it.
In the long run, it's a partnership. Both parties should be contributing, whether it be financially or otherwise. More to that, money should be treated as "ours" and not "his" and "hers".0 -
Of course my wife makes more money than me - how do you think I manage to keep farming?
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I know you wanted this from a mans perspective, but I thought I'd share anyway :laugh:
For years I worked while my ex husband stayed at home with the kids (he was only making enough to cover gas and daycare expenses anyway, it was a mutual decision). He didn't care that I made all the money for the household, but it did eventually start to bother me. We agreed that he would stay home as long as it didn't hurt us financially, and it never really did. However, he wouldn't do much around the house while he was home. I was still doing laundry, still doing dishes, still cleaning up the house. It was very frustrating for me. Plenty of other things happened that led to us divorcing, but this was part of it. I began to resent him for not pulling equal weight (not financial weight, but household weight) in our partnership.0 -
Congrats, you know what 70% of husbands go through. Sucks don't it?I know you wanted this from a mans perspective, but I thought I'd share anyway :laugh:
For years I worked while my ex husband stayed at home with the kids (he was only making enough to cover gas and daycare expenses anyway, it was a mutual decision). He didn't care that I made all the money for the household, but it did eventually start to bother me. We agreed that he would stay home as long as it didn't hurt us financially, and it never really did. However, he wouldn't do much around the house while he was home. I was still doing laundry, still doing dishes, still cleaning up the house. It was very frustrating for me. Plenty of other things happened that led to us divorcing, but this was part of it. I began to resent him for not pulling equal weight (not financial weight, but household weight) in our partnership.0 -
I know you wanted this from a mans perspective, but I thought I'd share anyway :laugh:
For years I worked while my ex husband stayed at home with the kids (he was only making enough to cover gas and daycare expenses anyway, it was a mutual decision). He didn't care that I made all the money for the household, but it did eventually start to bother me. We agreed that he would stay home as long as it didn't hurt us financially, and it never really did. However, he wouldn't do much around the house while he was home. I was still doing laundry, still doing dishes, still cleaning up the house. It was very frustrating for me. Plenty of other things happened that led to us divorcing, but this was part of it. I began to resent him for not pulling equal weight (not financial weight, but household weight) in our partnership.
oh that's a no no- you either work and pull green things in- or you bust your hump at the house and make sure you earn your keep.
No way in hell I'd keep someone around who made nothing next to me and didn't participate around the house.
I'd resent the hell out of him for that- you are absolutely right to feel annoyed/slighted/resentful.0 -
I know you wanted this from a mans perspective, but I thought I'd share anyway :laugh:
For years I worked while my ex husband stayed at home with the kids (he was only making enough to cover gas and daycare expenses anyway, it was a mutual decision). He didn't care that I made all the money for the household, but it did eventually start to bother me. We agreed that he would stay home as long as it didn't hurt us financially, and it never really did. However, he wouldn't do much around the house while he was home. I was still doing laundry, still doing dishes, still cleaning up the house. It was very frustrating for me. Plenty of other things happened that led to us divorcing, but this was part of it. I began to resent him for not pulling equal weight (not financial weight, but household weight) in our partnership.
Congrats, you know what 70% of husbands go through. Sucks don't it?
Really? 70%?
http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/13/news/economy/women-work-force/
Only 26% of women don't work. Lets say half of that are good house keepers. That would mean only 13% of men are unhappy with the household weight their wives are pulling... (and of course that's assuming everyone is married, and that every woman is married to a man, which is of course wrong but whatever).0 -
Bothered by it? Hell, I would be thrilled! More than twice my salary in the household...sign me up.0
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Of course 70% is a fictitious and inflated number. However, I see 13% as quite a bit low as well. You have excluded a huge number of married women who work part time jobs, cash jobs and low paying jobs close to home while their husbands hold down a 40+ career that provides the actual household income as well as medical benefits. If I'm working 40+, providing 70% of the income and all the families bennies... I say the house better be clean and dinner better be on the table when I get home. This isn't developed via sexism. It's a formed opinion based on two people putting in what they can for a family. I would expect the same treatment if the gender roles were reversed.I know you wanted this from a mans perspective, but I thought I'd share anyway :laugh:
For years I worked while my ex husband stayed at home with the kids (he was only making enough to cover gas and daycare expenses anyway, it was a mutual decision). He didn't care that I made all the money for the household, but it did eventually start to bother me. We agreed that he would stay home as long as it didn't hurt us financially, and it never really did. However, he wouldn't do much around the house while he was home. I was still doing laundry, still doing dishes, still cleaning up the house. It was very frustrating for me. Plenty of other things happened that led to us divorcing, but this was part of it. I began to resent him for not pulling equal weight (not financial weight, but household weight) in our partnership.
Congrats, you know what 70% of husbands go through. Sucks don't it?
Really? 70%?
http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/13/news/economy/women-work-force/
Only 26% of women don't work. Lets say half of that are good house keepers. That would mean only 13% of men are unhappy with the household weight their wives are pulling... (and of course that's assuming everyone is married, and that every woman is married to a man, which is of course wrong but whatever).0 -
I know you wanted this from a mans perspective, but I thought I'd share anyway :laugh:
For years I worked while my ex husband stayed at home with the kids (he was only making enough to cover gas and daycare expenses anyway, it was a mutual decision). He didn't care that I made all the money for the household, but it did eventually start to bother me. We agreed that he would stay home as long as it didn't hurt us financially, and it never really did. However, he wouldn't do much around the house while he was home. I was still doing laundry, still doing dishes, still cleaning up the house. It was very frustrating for me. Plenty of other things happened that led to us divorcing, but this was part of it. I began to resent him for not pulling equal weight (not financial weight, but household weight) in our partnership.
I have been through exactly this. My problem now is I feel like I shouldn't have to do EVERYTHING around the house. I don't bring up the money issue with him bc I don't care about it, but I shouldn't have to bust my butt at work all day, then come home to cook, clean, homework, pets, everything while the man comes home and kicks off his boots and grabs a beer. Venting complete.0 -
I wish. I can't even imagine how lovely that would be. Would be nice not paying for 97% of everything. Ahh a man can dream at least...
Dinners and cleaning makes up for it. Oh wait, I pay for the cleaner and make/buy every single meal I eat. But truthfully, not a big deal. It is what it is, I don't pinch pennies and neither should she.0 -
Of course 70% is a fictitious and inflated number. However, I see 13% as quite a bit low as well. You have excluded a huge number of married women who work part time jobs, cash jobs and low paying jobs close to home while their husbands hold down a 40+ career that provides the actual household income as well as medical benefits. If I'm working 40+, providing 70% of the income and all the families bennies... I say the house better be clean and dinner better be on the table when I get home. This isn't developed via sexism. It's a formed opinion based on two people putting in what they can for a family. I would expect the same treatment if the gender roles were reversed.I know you wanted this from a mans perspective, but I thought I'd share anyway :laugh:
For years I worked while my ex husband stayed at home with the kids (he was only making enough to cover gas and daycare expenses anyway, it was a mutual decision). He didn't care that I made all the money for the household, but it did eventually start to bother me. We agreed that he would stay home as long as it didn't hurt us financially, and it never really did. However, he wouldn't do much around the house while he was home. I was still doing laundry, still doing dishes, still cleaning up the house. It was very frustrating for me. Plenty of other things happened that led to us divorcing, but this was part of it. I began to resent him for not pulling equal weight (not financial weight, but household weight) in our partnership.
Congrats, you know what 70% of husbands go through. Sucks don't it?
Really? 70%?
http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/13/news/economy/women-work-force/
Only 26% of women don't work. Lets say half of that are good house keepers. That would mean only 13% of men are unhappy with the household weight their wives are pulling... (and of course that's assuming everyone is married, and that every woman is married to a man, which is of course wrong but whatever).
I agree with this. I have been through both sides. My wife and I made about the same, for a while she made more, then I moved companies and made more. We have 3 kids and we shared all duties accordingly, except for feeding bceause it made my nipples hurt.
When the auto industry crashed in 2009 and everyone in Detroit lost their jobs, she was laid off. She was the Director of Program Management for an auto supplier, so she was making some pretty nice coin.
We are pretty frugal and I do well, so she decided to stay home with the 3 kids. Definietly had to change how we spent money (the wants vs. needs), but it was manageable. Now is the VP and CEO of our house. Man, our house runs like a military base. She was a beast in a workforce dominated by men (auto industry) and she took that p!ss and vinegar home and everything runs to plan. Woman takes care of bidniss. We are talking about her going back to work, but honestly I'd rather she stayed home, because I love that our house runs smooth.
In the end it doesn't matter who makes what, as long as both are contributing equally.
I sound like I am running for office.
My name is homerjspartan and I approve this message.0 -
not at all, but as they always say, we have to bring home the bacon.0
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