your worse or humiliating experience when fat?

dashaclaire

These all break my heart but the childhood stories omg!

sillyduckmoose

Just this past weekend actually. My husband who is my best friend and has loved me no matter what size I am told me that I was no longer attractive to him. That he was sick of my weight, and that our daughter was embarrased by me and has to defend me when people ask her if her mom is "the fat mom"

Suffice to say, any past insults by strangers and "well meaning friends" became moot.

I'm so very sorry. That's what hurts the most...when the hurt doesn't come from strangers...but from someone you love and hold dear to your heart who is supposed to love you no matter what.

I have a long term boyfriend who is significantly smaller than I am and I *always* feel that he's embarrassed to be seen with me in public and isn't as sexually attracted to me as he used to be. Granted I have no existent self esteem so this could also be just made worse in my head than it truly is.

Regardless, I'm so sorry you're in that situation. Don't give up, just make sure you're doing this for you as well. Not just your husband and daughter (Who are wonderful reasons anyhow).

fatalis_vox

Last summer I went home for my sister's wedding and was staying at my mom's house. I had gone thrifting with a good girlfriend, and I found this -adorable- little pale yellow sundress with little blue flowers on it. It wasn't a flowy sundress, it was a fitted one. I loved it. I loved how it fit, and how it looked. I had just returned from a military deployment, during which I worked out like crazy and I considered myself in the best shape of my life.

So I'm leaving the house to take my sister to get her hair done, wearing that dress, and my mom looks at me and says "Wow. You have REALLY HEAVY THIGHS."

And I was like "...thanks, mom. You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself. I'm gonna...leave...now." It was awful.

As I'm working back down to that level of fitness and that weight, I'm going to get a workout shirt that says "Thunder thighs? B*tch I've got WONDER THIGHS." Because, well...YES. THAT.

DoctorMcCoy10

There have been many but the worst by far were when my ex husband and his new wife told my kids to please not ever get fat like mom. Then my son (who was little at the time and wasn't intentionally being mean) told me I was big enough to go on that TV show. He was talking about biggest loser.

And then the last one I went lunch with my mother and sister in law and I was too big to fit in the booth and then when we did find a seat I could fit in it broke. I buried myself in food and cried for two days. I hated myself and I have hated myself for way too long!

I also know the look I get it all the time and I hate it.

lilmissmanx

My nanna regularly finds ways to remark upon my weight at family gatherings in the loudest possible voice. Its gone beyond embarrassing to being quite funny now. I look forward to the next inventively phrased snarky remark. My boyfriend didn't actually believe me until he saw it for himself. Some examples.....

Christmas - sit down next to nanna, nanna announces to me and the room that I am "nicely plump, but shouldn't let it go any further"
Family birthday - "oh wow, thats quite a plateful. I wish I could eat as much as you!"
Family gathering - Sit down next to nanna (by now I should know better). Nanna squeezes thigh and proclaims "ooh you're sturdy". When asked if this is code for fat, she replies with "well we don't like these skinny minny Victoria Beckham types".
Another family birthday - nanna reaches across, squeezes my upper arm and practically shouts "well you're not losing it, are you!". Boyfriend looks horrified, and quietly notes " I see what you mean now".

It doesn't matter to her whether i'm at my slimmest or fattest, these remarks have spanned all my weight for the last 8 years. Rude!

eemitchell1984

My nanna regularly finds ways to remark upon my weight at family gatherings in the loudest possible voice. Its gone beyond embarrassing to being quite funny now. I look forward to the next inventively phrased snarky remark. My boyfriend didn't actually believe me until he saw it for himself. Some examples.....

Christmas - sit down next to nanna, nanna announces to me and the room that I am "nicely plump, but shouldn't let it go any further"
Family birthday - "oh wow, thats quite a plateful. I wish I could eat as much as you!"
Family gathering - Sit down next to nanna (by now I should know better). Nanna squeezes thigh and proclaims "ooh you're sturdy". When asked if this is code for fat, she replies with "well we don't like these skinny minny Victoria Beckham types".
Another family birthday - nanna reaches across, squeezes my upper arm and practically shouts "well you're not losing it, are you!". Boyfriend looks horrified, and quietly notes " I see what you mean now".

It doesn't matter to her whether i'm at my slimmest or fattest, these remarks have spanned all my weight for the last 8 years. Rude!

My nana once said to me "that must be jelly 'cus jam doesn't jiggle like that!". I think I was about 13 at the time.

cmazurek85

WTF?! I'm so very sorry!!!! I hope those people are no longer in your life.

Smurfette4eva

Wow. Where do I start? Um, the first one I can remember was last year. Me and my friends went to Victoria's Secret and I went for moral support plus to kick it with them. I went in and this kid, about 10, 11, or 12, was staring at me. As I was looking for my friends in the store, the kid followed me with his eyes. That was until I found them, the kid started pointing and giggling at me. He said in a loud voice, poking his sister in the shoulder, snickering loud to himself, "What is she doing here? Nothing here can fit her." Then the sister joined in the snickering.

This girl, who moved in the Big House on the property that I live on. Kept looking at me when I was making jokes, later that day, she was giggling when she said, I was fixing to call you 'Precious'. I just looked at her like she was crazy. Then she said, "You do know who Precious is, right?" I looked at her like she was crazier than before, and said coldly, "Yes, I do." She then got uncomfortable and grew silent.

That's not the only disrespectful thing she said to me and that I had to put her in 'her place' about.

kraft_kris

How awful is it that this thread is 11 pages long?

After reading your experiences I feel very lucky that I have not had that many comments made about my weight...the only one that I can really think of right now is when I was expecting my first baby (and not at a healthy weight) and a lady giving me a pedicure commented "Why you no take care of yourself before having a baby?" That stung quite a bit.

What these cruel, insensitive people should probably realize is that in most cases no words that they can say are any different than what we say to ourselves. Do they think that we are oblivious to our size?

dopeysmelly

I've had the expecting-a-baby one a couple of times. Both times I've just said "no, I put on 20 lbs". It's a stupid, personal comment and I can't understand why people feel it's socially acceptable to say it.

I've also had the long stream of comments from family (my Mom and sister, who are both slimmer than me a bit). It started when I was a teenager, and never stopped. It doesn't humiliate me exactly. It's sad a bit, but mostly makes me extremely angry. How dare the two women in my life who mean more to me than any others essentially place their value of me purely on a number on a set of scales? It never ceases to astonish me that they could ignore my personality, my achievements, my wonderful daughter, my fabulous marriage and the great life my husband and I have built for ourselves in a different country no less. I'll never measure up, because they can only judge based on physical appearance. Likewise, I understand that excess weight contributes to several serious health problems, but it REALLY irritates me that my Mom and sister assume that if I lose 20, 30, 40 lbs (whatever), I'm virtually guaranteed to never die, and that every ailment I ever get (including a torn meniscus I'm dealing with now grrr) is due to my weight.

It has poisoned our relationships. I don't have the bonds with them I'd like, and I refuse to discuss weight or appearance with them. I don't intend to tell them I've lost a lot of weight, because they'll just make some comment like "that's not enough", and well, it reduces our relationship to an assessment of physical appearance AGAIN.

And as an aside, I proactively teach my daughter not to judge others based on appearance, explaining why and how hurtful it can be for other people. We don't allow any mention of weight or diet in our house, not from us nor guests. (My husband "slipped" the other day but made up for it later by chatting with her about health..)

DWBalboa

I'm an ER nurse and in saying this I see ALOT of pregnant ladies.....
I get asked WEEKLY, "How far along are you?!" "Oh your pregnant too?!" Or worse! Some of the doctors I have worked with... "I didn't know you were expecting!" Me.... And almost always my response "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat."
Never again! This sucks! I'm short and carry all my weight in my mid section.
I swear once I get in shape.... The only time I will ever be asked this again is when I am pregnant and lucky enough to even get there.

It's happen to me several times too. Only I work in a bar:( I think about it while struggling through ab workouts.

Sadly, that happens more often than you may think. If it’s any consolation (I’m sure it’s not) any decent person that makes that mistake feels like crap for doing so.

Neeters1969

There have been many but the worst by far were when my ex husband and his new wife told my kids to please not ever get fat like mom.

That's awful. I'm sorry. What an absolute pair of a**holes.

DWBalboa

I see a lot of people stating that their own families make many of the comments. My Grandmother use to make comments about my mother’s weight all the time; to make matters worse she would blame my mother when she would fart in a crowded room. It saddens me to see so many of you as young girls were exposed to such insensitivity. Nothing can be said to make that hurt go away but you can choose to use it to make you a stronger person.
I wish all of you the best of luck in your goals.

helenarriaza

My ex's family used to round me up and telling me each time I saw them that I was gaining more and more weight, I was not going to find clothes and I was going to break the bed/chair/stool.

Also in school these girls used to pretend there was an earthquake whenever I had to run in gym class.

SallyJones1985

My nanna regularly finds ways to remark upon my weight at family gatherings in the loudest possible voice. Its gone beyond embarrassing to being quite funny now. I look forward to the next inventively phrased snarky remark. My boyfriend didn't actually believe me until he saw it for himself. Some examples.....

Christmas - sit down next to nanna, nanna announces to me and the room that I am "nicely plump, but shouldn't let it go any further"
Family birthday - "oh wow, thats quite a plateful. I wish I could eat as much as you!"
Family gathering - Sit down next to nanna (by now I should know better). Nanna squeezes thigh and proclaims "ooh you're sturdy". When asked if this is code for fat, she replies with "well we don't like these skinny minny Victoria Beckham types".
Another family birthday - nanna reaches across, squeezes my upper arm and practically shouts "well you're not losing it, are you!". Boyfriend looks horrified, and quietly notes " I see what you mean now".

It doesn't matter to her whether i'm at my slimmest or fattest, these remarks have spanned all my weight for the last 8 years. Rude!

My nana once said to me "that must be jelly 'cus jam doesn't jiggle like that!". I think I was about 13 at the time.

My grandad tells me to make sure my kids don't get obese like me.

FabianRodriguez94

I've always been fat, ever since I was a kid. In the 4th grade my friends and I were running to go play kickball and I was the slowest one out of all of them. Some 5th graders saw me behind and I could see them pointing at me and laughing. I finally got close enough for them to be able to call out to me "Nice t*ts fat***".
I kept running but I didn't go towards my friends, I went to the bathroom and sat in a stall until the bell rang.

Also when ever I would go shopping for clothes and none of the stores would have larger than a 36 in pant sizes and I was a 42. And the shorts would only go up to a large and I was an XL.

But I can out that behind me now because I am (as of a few days ago), able to fit into size 36 pants and am comfortable in Large t shirts for the first time in my life!

Keep working at it everybody, it gets easier.

Kr1ptonite

I broke a chair in a crowded restaurant .

FredSetToGetFit

This is really sad that this thread is so long already. People are generally pretty awful to one another. I say, use this feeling as motivation. Remember these stories when you are feeling like giving up. And most importantly, when at last you are at your target weight, remember how you felt, and maybe spare someone else's feelings when trying to give advice. I remember when I was here previously, I gave up because of being badgered by another member with unwanted advice. Remember, criticism, no matter how constructive, if delivered without tact, can hurt just as much.

otter090812

So sorry you've all been through that.

My husband's family seem to think it's OK to comment on my weight / eating pretty much every time I see them:
- Grandma: <huge sigh> what happened to that beautiful, slim girl at your wedding?
- Grandma also takes big, audible, intakes of breath if I have seconds of anything, occasionally accompanied by an 'oooh'
- Mother-in-law has 'Goldilocks Syndrome' - when I lose weight she starts with the don't get 'too thin' stuff almost immediately, even though I was 'too fat' just a week before. (It's not even like I'm a yoyo dieter, I lost a decent amount of weight once before, got to a healthy BMI, but put it back on over about seven years.)

Contrast that with my parents, who haven't even once acknowledged that I've lost weight; and my sister who noticed after about 15% of my bodyweight was gone, and then cross-examined my husband as to whether I'd developed an eating disorder!

Families eh?

greeshu_89

I can relate to many of these posts.. sadly i too have had my share of countless experiences like this.. but somehow i don't think these incidents have motivated me to loose weight quicker. More often than not, I get into a depression mode once anything like this happens. Its really sad when people look at you as an object which is to be made fun of.

Now I am trying to work against this feeling. I hope my real weight loss journey will kick start soon.