your worse or humiliating experience when fat?
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A few years ago, I was driving with the windows down and stopped at a stoplight when I heard something coming from the car next to me. There were two guys in their 20s in the car next to mine and they were looking at me saying "moo!!" When I instinctively looked over, they said "How's it going cow?" and mooed at me until the light changed. I was so devastated that it crushed my self esteem and made things worse for me for a while. People can be so cruel. That experience just sticks with me. So simple, but so traumatic.
there's a really great line from the musical FOOTLOOSE where the owner of the burger joint tells the bad guy, "Your bike is parked in the handicapped space, which is a space we reserve for people with physical, not mental disabilities.' I wish you could recognize that those young idiots are scarred in their own way.0 -
4 experiences come to mind...
Grabbing a size 24 pair of jeans at Lane Bryant and realizing they were too tight and having the lady bring me a size 26.
Getting a pedicure done....I was wearing shorts and although the lady doing it was speaking a different language, I could tell she said something about my legs because 2 of her coworkers looked over and kinda laughed. I was too hurt and humiliated to say anything.
I used to love winter time because I felt like I could wear coats and sweaters to hide myself. When I got so heavy that my rolls showed through my sweaters, (not like people couldn't tell I was fat before) I got really depressed and realized I couldn't get away with it anymore.
Being picked on and left out when I was in school.0 -
I thought of another one, that happened recently and just made me feel awful.
It was about eight pounds ago. I generally gain weight in my belly, so my pants size doesn't fluctuate a whole lot. I was wearing a pair of jeans that I'd bought after my housefire, before I gained 20 pounds.
I was at my boyfriend's apartment, and the zipper broke. Like, the pull came off of one side of the zipper, so the pants couldn't zip anymore. It. Felt. Awful.
I tried to shrug it off. I grabbed another pair of pants and put them on. They seemed too big, and too long. But sometimes that happens. I buy pants because they "kind-of" fit. They fit my thighs and butt, but are too long and too big in the waist. But whatever.
Then later, while we were watching a movie, I scratched an itch and felt a weird texture. So I asked my boyfriend if I'd sat in something. He said "No, there are butterflies on those pants." I'm like, "...I don't have any pants with butterflies on them...?"
Then, while changing for bed, I noticed they were a size of jeans that I'd never bought before. They were bigger.
So I said to him, "These are definitely not my pants. I've never bought a pair of pants this big."
And he turns around and looks at me, completely baffled, and asks, "Who do I know who wears bigger pants than YOU?"
I felt my heart fall into my stomach. He didn't even realize why it was such a horrible thing to say.
That's when I started trying to eat better. But it totally blows my mind how sometimes boyfriends/husbands just don't realize how freaking hurtful they're being. Oi.
(Side note: They were his roommate's girlfriend's pants, no funny business was going on.)0 -
My mother's constantly telling me how I'm so fat. Some direct quotes.
"Wow you're so fat"
"Are you going to try and lose weight yet?"
"Hey, you're getting fatter"
"Your brother is so skinny, he needs to eat more. You need to stop eating"
"*buys food* This is not for you, it's for your brother. You're fat"
There's a lot more but you get the point. She's not doing it to be mean, she honestly just doesn't see that her comments are offensive and annoying as hell. I live in an Asian household so the culture's different. I'm pretty Americanized by now and my parent's are pretty traditional. People from my culture can be pretty straightforward and blunt, that's just how it is. Respect only goes uphill in my family, you have to respect your elders (not to be cliche lol) but they don't respect you if they don't want to. Honestly, I'm surprised that I didn't turn out worst like a lot of my friends who did drugs, alcohol, and various other crimes.0 -
Was in the bathroom the other day when the phone rang. My almost 4 yr old son answered the phone and I could hear him saying "No I can't put mommy on the phone. She is too big she will break it" LOL!0
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I think the worst was knowing this one friend I had wouldn't date me because I was fat. He never said it outright because he's a friend, but I know through another friend that he wasn't attracted to me. I'm sure being so overweight played a big role in that, he dated a bunch of thin girls that were friends of mine and had similar interests.
Luckily I have a boyfriend that loves me for who I am and what I look like, bigger or thinner.0 -
Aha! You should have said "then you DO know someone with bigger pants!" lolI thought of another one, that happened recently and just made me feel awful.
It was about eight pounds ago. I generally gain weight in my belly, so my pants size doesn't fluctuate a whole lot. I was wearing a pair of jeans that I'd bought after my housefire, before I gained 20 pounds.
I was at my boyfriend's apartment, and the zipper broke. Like, the pull came off of one side of the zipper, so the pants couldn't zip anymore. It. Felt. Awful.
I tried to shrug it off. I grabbed another pair of pants and put them on. They seemed too big, and too long. But sometimes that happens. I buy pants because they "kind-of" fit. They fit my thighs and butt, but are too long and too big in the waist. But whatever.
Then later, while we were watching a movie, I scratched an itch and felt a weird texture. So I asked my boyfriend if I'd sat in something. He said "No, there are butterflies on those pants." I'm like, "...I don't have any pants with butterflies on them...?"
Then, while changing for bed, I noticed they were a size of jeans that I'd never bought before. They were bigger.
So I said to him, "These are definitely not my pants. I've never bought a pair of pants this big."
And he turns around and looks at me, completely baffled, and asks, "Who do I know who wears bigger pants than YOU?"
I felt my heart fall into my stomach. He didn't even realize why it was such a horrible thing to say.
That's when I started trying to eat better. But it totally blows my mind how sometimes boyfriends/husbands just don't realize how freaking hurtful they're being. Oi.
(Side note: They were his roommate's girlfriend's pants, no funny business was going on.)0 -
I had a similar experience back when I weighed 333lbs, I squeezed into the roller coaster seat then when it went up I continued to go up and came down hard to the middle part of thd seat and had to sit half out the rest of the ride. Not to mention the physical pain, the emotional pain of almost not fitting was hard to swallow. I have lost 100lbs since then and have about 30 to 50 to go. Look out roller coasters here we come... Cindy0
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We just cant win...0
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Being congratulated on my pregnancy when I wasn't pregnant.0
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I was at the front at the reading festival and the band I wanted to see had finished playing. I didn't want to stay there for the rest of the day and there was no way I was getting out through the crowd,. I asked the security guards to help me out over the barrier as they were doing for the other people. He looked at me and said really? Then called over another one and said 'this fat bird wants out'.
They did help me out but I was so upset.0 -
Probably having my parents and aunts/uncles talk about how chubby I'd gotten and comparing me to my skinnier cousins. Honestly, I'm used to that because Asian parents are just like that.0
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When one of my coworkers asked how far along I was. I didn't think that kind of thing really happened to people. I felt my face turn hot and I said, "I'm not." I think she was just as embarrassed as I was. She started stuttering and said someone told her I was pregnant. I didn't stop to ask her who because I was pretty sure she made it up on the fly to save herself and I wanted to get out of there. That felt awful.0
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I've had a lot but the one that offended me the most is when I was about 13 I went on a diet and got pretty skinny. A about a year later I had put a little weight back on, I was still a size three so obviously not fat or even overweight. My dad came up to me and squeezed my side and said "Well you were actually skinny before what happened?" Yeah. I wish I could say that was the only time something like that happened.0
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getting called names and "It's the eclipse!" was worst for long, my lovely hubby getting my jeans by mistake and *without thinking* saying "These aren't my jeans, they're ELEPHANTINE" years ago ( you notice how well I've let that go) but the prize goes to getting stuck in a bob sleigh ride in front of lots of people ...although a dodgy knee had a bit to do with it (that's my story and I'm sticking to it)0
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Was at a restaurant and bumped into a couple that I knew from a former church. Hadn't seen them in about a year maybe. The woman smiled widely, came up to me, hugged me, then put her hand on my belly and congratulated me and asked when I was due. I wasn't.0
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I had so much awful stuff said to me as a kid by the people who were supposed to love me. Dad on more than one occasion said no man would ever love me because I am fat (first time I was probably 7 and super skinny). But that stuck on me so hard I started gaining. Mom had me in weight watchers by 9. But only fed me this messed up diet food like liver, while they ate burgers. My brother always introduced me to his friends as fat girl.
Nothing any stranger ever said was worse than being forced to live with my family for 17 years. To this day I stress for weeks before one of them comes to visit. And I guard my kid, like a lioness, from their ignorant mouths.0 -
I had (and have) so many issues that 'chubby' was the least likely thing I would get bullied for as a kid. However, I do remember one time, in high school, a guy pretended to ask me out as a joke. I knew immediately what he was doing and didn't even bother responding--I just walked away.0
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Shopping for a dress for a gala. I refuse to even look at wedding dresses until I've dropped about 50 lbs because I don't want to have that experience again. Timing should work out just fine though since the wedding isn't for 17 months, so I'll start dress shopping about a year out if all goes well.
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I had so much awful stuff said to me as a kid by the people who were supposed to love me. Dad on more than one occasion said no man would ever love me because I am fat (first time I was probably 7 and super skinny). But that stuck on me so hard I started gaining. Mom had me in weight watchers by 9. But only fed me this messed up diet food like liver, while they ate burgers. My brother always introduced me to his friends as fat girl.
Nothing any stranger ever said was worse than being forced to live with my family for 17 years. To this day I stress for weeks before one of them comes to visit. And I guard my kid, like a lioness, from their ignorant mouths.
I'm so sorry! My dad started calling me fat when I was about 6 - sent me into a spiral of screaming and self-loathing. He (around 350 pounds at the time) laughed and told me he was kidding but that was how life went with him. I've traced a lot of myself back to issues relating to my father and weight - I feel the need to talk all the time, to impress people, to go out of my way to do whatever I can for others because I 'know' that because of my weight and my appearance I'm worth so much less than everyone around me.
Somewhere around the age of 23 however I started getting over all that, and it's a much happier place. But a word from my dad threatens to send me back every time.0 -
I was once sexually assaulted and the man told me that since I was fat, it was the best I was gonna get and I better enjoy it...
I've had quite a few awful experiences as a fat women.
oh my god... i am so disturbed by this. it breaks my heart. im so sorry... WTF is wrong with people? this makes me want to cry.0 -
Oh, I have a story that's not about me, but that might be inspirational.
My fiance's little cousin is maybe 4 and she has an older brother who is maybe 6 or so and is kind of a jerk when he's sleepy. So he and his sister start fighting over Sponge Bob or whatever, and he starts screaming at her: "Fat! You're so fat! You're so fat!" and you could see the rage on her face (she's also very tiny, not a bit of extra weight on this little girl), so she running-tackled him.
At first I wanted to get involved, pick up the boy and shake him about how terrible he was being. But no one moved, and they weren't my kids. So we just watched. And the whole family cheered her on.
Wouldn't you know the little girl beat up her big brother. He didn't call her fat anymore.
Little girl, you're my hero.
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I had someone ARGUE with me when I said I wasn't pregnant. Actually kept saying "Really?" and "Are you sure?".
Yep. I'm sure.
ME TOO! I was mortified, and then a little bit gobsmacked that she just kept insisting I was pregnant. Here's the kicker - I was probably the healthiest and thinnest I had ever been, but I have diastasis. I was asked about 10 times BEFORE I got pregnant with my first when I was due. Now that I have 4 rugrats people don't ask anymore, but in my early 20s, vegetarian and running five miles a day, that comment always stung!
Worry about your own uterus, nosy lady!0 -
Needed two attendants to secure me in a roller coaster. NOT THIS YEAR! Cant wait to go back to Hersheypark :flowerforyou:0
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#1 LIFETIME hate on the list: but...you have such a pretty face...
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This. Very much this.
Even worse.. "...but you carry it well."0 -
For me, it was seeing my wedding pictures. It still bugs me that I actually look fat in them, despite what my husband says.0
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As a fairly new mother of an almost 2 year old son, it literally disgusts me and breaks my heart that mothers could ever mutter a single negative word to their children about their appearance. my own parents included.
It seriously breaks my heart. Being worried about your children's health is one thing, but most of what parents say in regards to their children's weigh tis insensitive and incredibly damaging.
People should be ASHAMED of themselves. What awful, sad excuses of parents. Awful.0 -
My fourth grade teacher told my mom I had no friends because I couldn't run fast enough to keep up with them and that I needed to lose weight.
The truth of the matter was not my weight or ability to make friends, just that one of my ex-friends decided to start telling people I was a lesbian.0 -
I used to think I was simply big and beautiful, then reality eventually set in. First was a photograph my husband took of me and my granddaughter in a children's inflatable wading pool, looking like a beached whale--literally. Second was a comment from a little girl who told her mother I had a big butt--so embarrassing. I had lot of praise for my booty, but these instances put it in proper perspective, and even though my butt rivaled the bum showcased in the Outcast video, "I Like the Way You Move," it was huge. Good riddance!0
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Sadly I have a few:
A guy threw fries at my face. His friends laughed.
Family ganging up on me, laughing at how awful I looked in a bathing suit...
A neighbor teased me for years calling me and a friend fat lesbians- which was good thing cause no one would ever have us.
^Makes me lose faith in humanity.0
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