Women with non dieting husbands

amandatapar

I will make his favorite foods but I just don't eat them. With four kids and a husband that can eat what they want I have just learned to get some self control and only eat what I need to. So yes most nights I make a separate meal for myself. You could just make enough food just for him that way it's only enough for one. I don't feel the need to prescribe to peer pressure to eat things I don't need just because its on the table. If he cooks he doesn't cook special for me, he'll ask but I usually just do it myself .

mittenswillet

my husband cooks in our family and he is swedish (we also live in sweden) so alot of dishes are potatoe gratan, roasted pork with potato coins and garlic butter, he uses alot of fat in his cooking, he really enjoys food and eating together, so i just adjust my calories for his dinners, since he refuses to let me cook as he loves cooking too much, and well, i love his cooking too.

so i just adjust to fit it in. not sure if it helps your problem, but sometimes everyones 2cents help !

yarwell

How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong.

By having affairs ?

SonicDeathMonkey80

Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.

neandermagnon

How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.

I remind myself that the body damaging fat goes somewhere, even if it's not on your tummy or tush - usually as blockages in the heart. No such thing as a free lunch.

Actually, no it doesn't. If you're talking about an average woman versus an average man who are eating the same amount of food, and she's getting fat while he's not, then the fat in his meals isn't turning into blockages around his heart, it's turning into carbon dioxide, energy and water, because his body needs more energy than hers does. So hers stores the excess as fat (usually around the hips but depending on her body type, maybe around her waist), while his burns it.

The solution to this problem is adjusting the portion sizes to the need of the person and their energy needs.

in a few cases, the wife may need to eat as much as the husband, e.g. if they're both the same size (including the same lean body mass) or if she's more active than him, or if she's pregnant or breastfeeding. But in typical/average cases, women don't need as much food as men, and if husband and wife are eating the same food and she's getting fat and he's not, then it's because she's eating more than she needs and he's not... so she needs to eat less while he continues to eat the same amount.

Greytfish

the body damaging fat

the what now?

You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?

And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.

Greytfish

Actually, no it doesn't. If you're talking about an average woman versus an average man who are eating the same amount of food, and she's getting fat while he's not, then the fat in his meals isn't turning into blockages around his heart, it's turning into carbon dioxide, energy and water, because his body needs more energy than hers does. So hers stores the excess as fat (usually around the hips but depending on her body type, maybe around her waist), while his burns it.

The solution to this problem is adjusting the portion sizes to the need of the person and their energy needs.

Who said they were eating the same amount? Not the OP.

LRoslin

make the same things, but eat smaller portions of it, in particular reduce the serving sizes of carbs

for example, say I make spaghetti bolognaise... well making it with chicken or turkey mince improves the macros (i.e. more protein for fewer calories) but when I serve it, I'll give my husband loads of spaghetti, while I have a small serving of spahgetti, then we both get a fairly generous serving of the sauce, and he'll get lots of cheese on top while I have just a little cheese on top. You can use this site to calculate how many calories are in each thing, and measure the amount of each thing you can have without going over your calories for the day.

there's no need to make two totally separate meals, you just have to be careful about portion sizes. This should be common practice in most households anyway because due to various factors such as body size and amount of lean body mass, men on average need more calories than women.... but a lot of women eat as much as their husbands when they don't need to be, then they get obese while their husband stays thin. Unless she's actually as big as him (including lean body mass not just weight) or her activity levels are that much more than his to cancel out the difference, she should be eating less than him (when pregnant or breastfeeding that may also cancel out the difference)

Very good advice. I saw this happen to a friend of mine in college. Her husband was 6'4" and rail thing and she was 5'4" or something, and she realized after six months of marriage that she was serving herself the same portions she was giving her husband! I've been guilty of the same thing. It's hard to ignore the social cues of one's husband getting a second portion of something during dinner, but one thing we've changed is to keep the food in the kitchen and not on the dining table; if we want seconds we have to go into the kitchen.

eldamiano

the body damaging fat

the what now?

You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?

And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.

Naturally slim, or just a healthier diet? Hmm...

Greytfish

the body damaging fat

the what now?

You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?

And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.

Naturally slim, or just a healthier diet? Hmm...

Well, that depends on whetehr you think 4 meals per day from Burger King and McDonalds 7 days per week for 10 years is healthy. Not that unhealthy eating has to be fast food. Plenty of people eat unhealthily just fine without it.

Amitysk

I cook the same thing for both of us except I eat smaller portions ie: last night I had one scoop of tortallini soup and one piece of garlic bread while he had three scoops of soup and two pieces of bread. Sometimes I'll skip the starch or side and opt for a salad instead. This is the simplest thing I've found to work for us.

peleroja

To address the OP, my boyfriend is trying to gain weight, and so I feed him a ton of food, both very healthy and sometimes less so. He needs 3x as many calories a day than I do. Sometimes it is very hard, but when I cook for him I only have one bite. Then I can taste it, at least. I also sometimes just modify what I'm making. He gets three chicken breasts wrapped in bacon and stuffed with broccoli and cheese , I get one small one topped with a dab of goat cheese and a big side of steamed broccoli.

I also only eat half as often as he does. He eats 5-6 meals a day, I eat 2-3. That helps too. For me, though, the best way is just not touching what I make him apart from one taste. It's just easier.

danimalkeys

From the opposite aspect- I do all the cooking and my wife was not dieting, She ate what I ate. When I started doing low carb, I'd make a small side dish of rice or a potato for her. Now she's dieting and doing low carb with me so we eat the same meals.

No way would I be making separate meals for her.

zyxst

My husband doesn't dictate what I eat. I have enough self-control now that I don't strap a bag of Doritos to my mouth like a feedbag.

Greytfish

From the opposite aspect- I do all the cooking and my wife was not dieting, She ate what I ate. When I started doing low carb, I'd make a small side dish of rice or a potato for her. Now she's dieting and doing low carb with me so we eat the same meals.

No way would I be making separate meals for her.

:drinker:

eldamiano

the body damaging fat

the what now?

You don't know any of those "naturally slim" men who thought mistakenly they were burning all the extra carb and fat calories they were overconsuming and discovered their mistake in an OR or in an ambulance with a paramedic?

And no, I'm not in the "Saturated Fat Will Kill You" camp. I'm just not ignorant enough to think if your tush stays small there's no harm in drastic overconsumption.

Naturally slim, or just a healthier diet? Hmm...

Well, that depends on whetehr you think 4 meals per day from Burger King and McDonalds 7 days per week for 10 years is healthy. Not that unhealthy eating has to be fast food. Plenty of people eat unhealthily just fine without it.

This of course is absolute nonsense. What you are suggesting here is that people's metabolism can vary to the extent that they can eat around 4,000-5,000 calories a day without putting on weight.

Complete and utter rubbish.

MinnieInMaine

I do the same as most of the replies so far - cook the same foods for both of us and alter portions based on our needs. Hubby is not only taller and weighs about 40 pounds more than me but he also tends not to eat much during the day so he can eat a lot for dinner. I used to try to keep up and that was part of the reason I gained so much weight. Then I realized I don't need that many calories so I started serving myself less of the food and altering ingredients a bit.

There was some balking at first because he's one of those people that assumes "healthy" or "light" means it's going to taste like cardboard. But I got tricky and didn't let him see up front what I was using for ingredients and would get his opinino afterwards. Most things passed the test that way and those that didn't, we both agreed were horrendous (ground turkey, fat free cheese).

For meat and potato type meals, I take less meat and potatoes and more veg than him. For casserole or one pot meal type dishes, I alter the ingredients a bit (more veg, less/leaner meat, less pasta/rice/potato). And of course make sure whatever portion I take fits into my daily goal - or as closely as I can manage.

Planning meals helps a lot in this regard. Go over your favorite recipes, think of how you can alter them to lower the calories and/or fat a bit (fat doesn't make you fat, it's necessary, but it's also high cal so cut down, not out), plug the ingredients into the recipe builder and tweak them until you come up with a happy medium. It takes some time but you'll get there eventually.

FindingMyPerfection

How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.

my husband is trying to gain weight while i am trying to lose some bodyfat... i eat the same as him just smaller portions and just dont eat the extras like garlic bread or pudding when he does... if you want to lose weight you just need to exercise a bit of will power...

This, my husband works hard labor 12 hours 6days a week. He is also trying to add about 10 lbs to his frame. He needs 3500-4000cals daily and I only need 1800. I add extra butter to his potatoes, he gets extra sauce and his lunches are filled with high cal snacks. If I want I can ruin my deficit for the day by indulging in his snacks but I choose to stay true to my goals while also supporting my husband in his.

k8blujay2

I may not be able to control every aspect of the food coming into the house or across the table. But I can control my portion sizes and what snacks I eat. I still have to make the saucy/creamy food.... and I would rather make it at home where I can control the nutrient content of it, than for him to make it or for him to get it at a restaurant.... and I married a very picky eater.

MagicalLeopleurodon

My husband has a metabolic disorder. He eats 6000-7000 calories a day or he loses weight so fast it could land him in the ER. I am forever baking cookies or making double cheese lasagna or giant loaves of bread.
ortunately, he can eat an entire pot of mac and cheese before im donr making my plate. I fix his plate, send him out of the kitchen, and start tupperwaring the rest. Then i fix my plate and eat. Sometimes i eat my dinner while his cooks so im full by the time the mouth watering meal gets done.

I also carb cycle (3 days low, 1 day high). That means i may pine for his cinnamon toast for three days but im making yeasty cinnamon sticky buns on day four. It keeps me in check.

It probably helps a lot that i have a fantastic husband. He asks how my macros are loking so far that day. How many more bottles ofwater do i have? Then he cheers me on. "Two more bottles isnt bad! Its only 2:30, you have plenty of time!" "I know you hate doing this workout, but youre really doing great today!" "When is your carb day? Okay-you want us to pick up donuts on Thursday then?"

ETA: think of it like this-your girlfriends dietary needs arent like yours. Neither are your kids or hubbys or mothers. Nobody is going to eat what your diet requires, so just do your thing and enjoy the company or be a dietary hermit. I bring food to family gey togethers or ask in advance what is being served. Make meal time social hour so the food isnt the focus!