Women with non dieting husbands
Replies
-
I cook, he eats what I make (with the exception of my venturing into making a raw food sloppy joe "meat" one time , terrible terrible idea). Generally he just eats more of the meal than I do.
ETA: I still make his favorite meals that aren't perfectly ideally healthy, but I know when it's coming, so I fit it in and if it doesn't fit, then I won't eat the less healthy portions of the meal.0 -
Yeah - all men are b@st@rds - my brother was like that growing up - could eat anything anywhere anytime, and lose weight while he was doing it. I can't believe the amount of food that he could put away, and I'd gain just by looking at it! He actually "came around" to logging what he eats and stuff about 8 months after I started. Now he's "in" on making things healthier.
As far as your husband goes: Teach him how to cook, then let him make it when you're out! I remember when we first got married, my husband would come home and say, "What's for dinner?" I'd say, "Whatever you fix!" "But I worked all day!" "So did I!!"
Next thing: Don't beat yourself up about moderation going out the window. You're human. Sometimes, you just gotta give in! LOL You're doing the right thing by looking at the situation and trying to see what could be done different.
Good luck!0 -
Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.
Why do people always do this? She's irritated that her husband can eat cheese, so she should divorce him? Moron.
It's called sarcasm....
Ok, fair enough.
Problem is, I've seen that kind of post so many times on this forum, and serious rather than sarcastic. People think they're being clever, but actually it's tired, not that funny, and doesn't help the OP. She has asked for help with something she is finding difficult and making snarky remarks trivialises a problem which to her is serious. Without some indication that it is meant as a light-hearted remark it just comes across as jerkish. Besides, would you tell a complete stranger to divorce their husband if you were speaking to them face to face, even in jest?So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it
I suppose I could have said "put on your big girl panties and learn some willpower," but I don't think that was the solution the OP was looking for (too obvious, and probably not "supportive" enough since she is clearly not accountable for her food consumption).
I've also gotten warnings from the mods for being "hateful" in my suggestions, so I will just stick with being absurd/silly.
Personally I find the "put on your big girl panties" suggestion less offensive than the sarky divorce comment, but that might just be me.
I kind of agree with you to some extent about being responsible for your food intake. However, I know what it is like to crave chocolate and not be able to resist. It's like it's sitting there on the work surface, speaking to me "eat me, eat me". So while broadly speaking we are responsible for what we put in our mouths, it is much much easier if our favourite yummy things aren't thrust into our personal space. You can't always beat your subconscious.
This is why:Don't beat yourself up about moderation going out the window.0 -
In my house I have my husband and 3 kids ranging from 17 to 25, they all know how to cook so I just call fend for yourselves and everyone is on their own. They can eat what ever they want if they don't want to eat healthy like me.. when I do cook for the whole family I have a small portion of what i make for them with a big serving of steamed veggies.... or I prepare mine in a seperate pan so I can weigh and measure all of my ingredients.. works for most things... Good luck.0
-
We only eat together for dinner and weekends - we're at work the rest of the time. I try to have a high-protein, yummy breakfast (I made Bisquick Impossible Min-Pies with leftovers - they're in the freezer, fast, easy, chicken/veggies/eggs/a little cheese and end up right around 300 calories and filling), then pack or eat lunch at school where I teach.
For dinner I made the same stuff I've pretty much always made but pay A LOT more attention to my portions. I know that was a bad area for me. We live on a farm so I cook a lot of simple/meat and potatoes kind of meals but the traditional rule in our families has always been - meat, carb, and veggie minimum for meal, fruit/dessert after. I'm not sure our diet, with a lot of beef and pork and almost no fish, and meat at every meal would be considered healthy by a lot of people, but we don't do a lot of sauces or gravies, etc. and we do a lot of grilling and baking and we've done it that way for generations so I'm OK with it. It is not a meal if my husband doesn't have dessert. I love the carbs and cheese and stuff that can load up the calories so I don't deny myself, I just have a little. No butter on cornbread (or pair it with mashed winter squash), a 1/4 cup of mac and cheese, load up on the veggies, etc. If I allow myself a half serving of something that's high cal/a guilty pleasure it doesn't make me guilty.
We forget sometimes that food isn't just nutrients we're putting in our body. It's emotional too and fun and yummy! I also believe that getting down on myself about eating something will probably just increase my stress and make it harder for me to lose weight. Don't deny yourself and longingly look over at your husband's plate wishing you could have some. Portion out a little for yourself and enjoy. Put it on a plate, measure it out and then eat it. Don't take a bite out of the pot/pan, because before you know it, you've eaten more than you planned and the guilt sets in. I know that if I denied myself all the yummy things I love, I'd cave and binge, so I don't deny myself. Same with dessert (but not every night like him, I plan or see where I'm at calorie-wise).
I haven't changed what I eat that much since I started MYP in late Sept/early Oct last year. I'm working on portions and snacking and generally have been more aware. I can't even say I eat "clean" exclusively. I still have an Oreo or two for dessert sometimes and stop for a fast food lunch once in a while. But I pay attention to everything I'm putting in my body, and I'm down over 20 pounds.
Don't punish yourself and don't deny yourself. Small steps.
0 -
I make whatever I am eating for dinner that day. If he doesn't want it, he can make something for himself, or I make a single portion of whatever he wants added to it. I also explained to him that I am trying hard, and any support he can give me would mean the world to me.0
-
If my husband told me there was a "snack rule" and I wasn't allowed to snack in front of him and be sent to a different room I'd seriously laugh at him.My husband doesn't want to diet, but I'm the one who does the cooking and food shopping. As a result he eats what I make. I just make sure I make the things I want to eat, that fir into my meal plan. He tends to eat a much larger serving then me, and that's fine. I don't feel like I'm missing out. The rule in the house about snacks, is if he wants to have a snack that isn't on the meal plan, then he has to eat it in his study away from me. The whole out of sight out of mind theory. He's pretty good with it, he tends to wait until I'm out in our rec room or down at the pool before he goes snacking.
My response is similar to most PPs: I have my husband, a 12 year old stepson and an 18 month old so it's kind of all over the place as far as food goes and portion sizes. I tend to eat lower carb so I will make myself something different than the others out of basically the same things (for example, they'll have tacos, I'll take the meat and make a taco salad). I also will make the make the protein up to a certain point, take out some meat for me and add the sauce/pasta/rice/whatever else for the others. Making a side for them also works like potatoes, bread, or pasta in addition to the veggies.0 -
Actually, no it doesn't. If you're talking about an average woman versus an average man who are eating the same amount of food, and she's getting fat while he's not, then the fat in his meals isn't turning into blockages around his heart, it's turning into carbon dioxide, energy and water, because his body needs more energy than hers does. So hers stores the excess as fat (usually around the hips but depending on her body type, maybe around her waist), while his burns it.
The solution to this problem is adjusting the portion sizes to the need of the person and their energy needs.
Who said they were eating the same amount? Not the OP.
I wasn't directing that comment at the OP. I was directing it at the person who said.....
"I remind myself that the body damaging fat goes somewhere, even if it's not on your tummy or tush - usually as blockages in the heart. No such thing as a free lunch. " (- quoted directly above my post)
.....in response to the situation where the husband eats a lot and doesn't gain weight and the wife does gain weight eating the same foods. It's not the case that the "body damaging fat" (whatever that is) is going somewhere else to do damage to his body, if he's not gaining weight it's because the fat's being burned, because he needs more calories.
No idea if the OP was eating the same portion sizes as her husband or not, but it's a common explanation for why the wife's gaining weight when the husband isn't, so it deserved a mention.0 -
Mind control!0
-
How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. ......... So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it.
We have had a discussion and have agreed we do not require family sized tubs of ice-cream or other junk food brought into the house. I believe he has quite a stash of chocolate biscuits and sweets in his study.
If I make something for us to eat together (which doesn't happen often due to our timetables) I will make sure it is something that fits with what I am eating and only make enough for the two of us.
I don't make him anything to eat if I am not eating it.0 -
I cook. He eats what I cook. He has said it many times... He will eat what I cook or he will cook. He has cooked MAYBE 5 times in 5 years...and he's fine, in fact he's a U.S Marine.
I won't make 2-3 different dinners, that is torture. I will make something different for my 5 yr old if I KNOW she HATES it and has tried it many many times.
He loves you, he will eat whatever. If not...less work for you.0 -
My husband and 4 kids also can eat and eat and eat and never gain an ounce. So, what I do is usually I will make MY dinner first and eat it before or while I am cooking for them. That way I am NOT hungry when their dinner is done. I can usually resist that way, if I am hungry forget it, I eat it and feel depressed the rest of the night LOL0
-
How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
I make the same foods for both of us. I just don't eat two servings. I usually start off with a huge salad and lots of water so by the time I get to the meat and potatoes, I'm not that hungry.0 -
I totally feel your pain. My husband and 3 children all have high metabolisms (we're talking 12% body fat - I'm not making it up). I, on the other hand need about 1850 cal. a day to maintain. I too refuse to cook separately but have to respect that their nutritional needs are quite different from mine. That being said, I make at least one thing for each meal that I can eat lots of, usually a veggie dish. When they have tacos, I make a taco salad. I don't put cheese sauce on my broccoli, just theirs. We eat the same meat, I weigh mine carefully. I measure my pasta and rice carefully. It takes work, for sure. And pah! to those who say just use will power. If I had that I wouldn't be here in the first place!! Good luck!0
-
My husband & I eat basically the same stuff, but he loves macaroni & cheese...So I have started dividing the box into 3 servings and only cooking 1/3 of it at a time. This way there is only enough for him (minus a bite or two if I'm weak).0
-
Yeah - all men are b@st@rds - my brother was like that growing up - could eat anything anywhere anytime, and lose weight
:huh: :huh: :noway:0 -
Same food, different portions. He's bulking and I'm slimming. But we're both trying to get a lot of fiber and protein. So it's easy for us to decide on the foods we eat. But yep. Like others have said. Same stuff, smaller amounts.0
-
I eat low carb. My husband doesn't, and for dental reasons, can only really eat soft foods like pasta, spaghettios, mac-n-cheese and grilled cheese smothered in butter. I make his meals without the urge to sample it because I no longer really crave carby foods anymore. I can't explain it really. I just don't. My husband is going to be getting a ton of dental procedures, so once those are over with(6ish months from now. His first procedure is next week), he plans to join me in my low-carb lifestyle.0
-
We choose our meals together, but they are mostly my suggestion. We are both fairly adventurous, so it works for us. In fact, he just baked some pumpernickel bread over the weekend. I don't like pumpernickel so I wouldn't make it for him. I'm vegetarian, he isn't. He's welcome to eat what he likes, but he has to make it if I'm not interested. He also sometimes treats himself at lunch while he's at work.
I do sometimes make slightly healthier choices. Chili with no cheese or less cheese. Choosing to eat Indian food without he white rice.0 -
I eat low carb. My husband doesn't, and for dental reasons, can only really eat soft foods like pasta, spaghettios, mac-n-cheese and grilled cheese smothered in butter. I make his meals without the urge to sample it because I no longer really crave carby foods anymore. I can't explain it really. I just don't. My husband is going to be getting a ton of dental procedures, so once those are over with(6ish months from now. His first procedure is next week), he plans to join me in my low-carb lifestyle.
A bit off topic - but I have/had dental issues as well, and have gotten several implants. Last appointment to finish it all up is next week! It's so worth it 0 -
My husband doesn't want to diet, but I'm the one who does the cooking and food shopping. As a result he eats what I make.
This.0 -
If he doesn't want to eat what I am cooking - he cooks for himself.
He is mature enough to know that we have different metabolism and needs and He wants to support me by helping me - and cooking for himself sometimes helps me stick to my plan.0 -
How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. Yesterday I was making a meal for my husband like I used to before I started trying to lose weight. It was chicken with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and mashed potatoes. I am leaving for a couple of days so I decided to make it for him. I thought I could resist, I was doing so good all day and when I finished cooking I devoured a lot of it.... No moderation here. Now today I feel so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it. And oh yeah my husband is one of those people who can eat mcdonalds everyday and never exercise and never gain a pound while I have gained 15.
my husband is trying to gain weight while i am trying to lose some bodyfat... i eat the same as him just smaller portions and just dont eat the extras like garlic bread or pudding when he does... if you want to lose weight you just need to exercise a bit of will power...
^This +10 -
My husband is a big(ish) guy and burns a ton of energy with his job. He often eats to gain weight and I do to lose (nearing maintain though). We eat the same stuff but I eat smaller portions. We also don't' generally eat a lot of junk food.0
-
My bf is trying to gain weight while I lose and the man eats everything. There is always chips, poptarts, cookies, candy, ice cream, etc in my house. I just don't eat it. It's not worth it to me. Or if I want it I make it fit. The way I see it is I chose to change my habits not him so why should he be forced into it? It's easy make little switches at dinner without having to make two totally separate meals. Like if you are making pasta just make some spaghetti squash or zucchini noodles for yourself. Or like others have said have tacos and make yours a taco salad. The other thing I do to help account for those heavier dinners is I try to leave about half of my calories for the day for the evening. That way I can eat what I want, have a glass of wine, or be ok if we need to grab something quick. If I'm going to do this for ever then it's gotta work....for both of us!0
-
I eat low carb. My husband doesn't, and for dental reasons, can only really eat soft foods like pasta, spaghettios, mac-n-cheese and grilled cheese smothered in butter. I make his meals without the urge to sample it because I no longer really crave carby foods anymore. I can't explain it really. I just don't. My husband is going to be getting a ton of dental procedures, so once those are over with(6ish months from now. His first procedure is next week), he plans to join me in my low-carb lifestyle.
A bit off topic - but I have/had dental issues as well, and have gotten several implants. Last appointment to finish it all up is next week! It's so worth it
My husband is getting the hybridge implant on the top of his jaw and he's getting some cosmetic stuff on the bottom, along with maybe an implant or two to replace the molars in the back so he can eat. He's slowly being prepped for the hybridge, which will hopefully be put in by September/October. Such a long haul, but like you said, definitely worth it.0 -
I am responsible for myself and I don't point fingers at other people if I can't control myself.
I have also never let my diet cause problems between me and the people I care about.0 -
Well some of us have husbands who don't need to diet. I guess it's weird how some women expect their man to diet when they do to me for that reason. If your man is overweight I guess you think he should decide to diet when you do. Instead imagine that he didn't need to diet. Then maybe that will make it easier on you?
For me, I just eat what I should eat and not what I shouldn't. It only took me telling him once or twice that something was too much or too large a portion for him to get it. He never really controlled what I ate anyways, and when we met he was vegetarian and I was somersizing so we are both used to requesting special ordering at restaurants so he doesnn't flinch when I do it now.
There are so many options at food places nowadays that it's likely you can find what you need on any menu without having to limit his options.
As for what's kept at home, it's like work, or school, or holidays, you are going to have to look within yourself for the desire to stay motivated and keep to those things which you want to consume and not anything more.0 -
bumpy0
-
I'm married to a guy who is hugely into eating healthy, but in the past (and during the loss of my first 45 lb before I joined this website) I was married to someone else, who was NOT a healthy eater. To be honest it was not a big struggle for me to cook for him. He liked the same stuff over & over, like crescent rolls or biscuits with every meal...broccoli cheese casserole (which I hate)...he would eat boxes of Little Debbie oatmeal creme pies every week. I guess looking back I was lucky that I didn't like the same things as he did or it might have been more of a challenge! If my husband (now) was constantly bringing home gigantic cups of boba tea or making pies nightly I would have a serious problem!!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions