Friends became Distance

Waggoner83

Have you ever noticed when you started to live the healthy life your friends became distance? Not that you actually have time to communicate with them because we are all a bit busier than before especially with going to the gym and working out on a regular. What is up with that? I am married with 2 kids and do not have enough time for myself as it is, but a jealous friend hate on you because you do not have time to hang out. I look at my family and fitness is my priority and everything else comes last.

Changeisachoice

I think some of it is jealousy. Also, I dont know about you but alot of my girlfriend time revolved around eating and since I try not to overindulge I had to cut back on that.

Waggoner83

I think some of it is jealousy. Also, I dont know about you but alot of my girlfriend time revolved around eating and since I try not to overindulge I had to cut back on that.

Waggoner83

Same here! Especially my friends that are single and they usually eat out alot. I have a family I like to eat home cooked meals and try to live the healthy life. I am not about going to eat out and drinking all of teh time;once every so many months isnt too bad,but not every week or every month smh.

knra_grl

Actually I found shift work did that - different days off - different hours off - a shift worker's schedule does not work well with someone who works bankers hours Monday thru Friday. Sad but true.

AutumnFrostfall

Sometimes people are going down different paths. Mine went in the direction of yoga, zumba, walking (outside or treadmill) & not going out to eat at places where I can't eat. (I'm lucky in that my family is very supportive of this) People I used to know? They went in another direction.

Prior to my lifestyle change & going back to being active & healthy yes, a lot of my "girl time" did revolve around food. Going out for lunch, going to a coffee house & having cheesecake & talking. I can't do that anymore. Now? I can go to a coffee house but if it's not my birthday, I'm not touching the cheesecake. If it is my birthday, everyone else better be splitting that thing with me, because otherwise it's too much sugar & I get sick.

I don't know about you guys, but even the topics I talk about changed with me getting healthier. Not only did topics of health come up in discussion as I tried to figure out what's the best choices for me nutrition wise, but different workouts came up as well. It's not ALL I talk about (Walt Disney World far outweighs EVERYTHING else) but these new topics definitely became more prevalent because they were very relevant to me.

liftsforchocolate

When I was in my super "fit" phase at a low weight, gym 2 hrs everyday, tracked every calorie, I myself was super happy and proud of myself (and were my parents), I got a lot of attention from friends/guys, but it made me realize how different people act when you look different.

Instead of having to wait, people would let you cut in line. People would not judge you for eating half a jar of peanut butter. Random people would pay for things for you. Free coffee (for no reason) at Starbucks so many times. I got along with pretty much everyone, but it made me think of how ****ed up this world really is. I actually became more pessimistic as a result of this, and its really hard for me to trust anyone now. I was at my goal weight and wasn't worrying about my weight that time, but I really saw the superficiality, greed, jealousy etc in the people around me that I never noticed before. I actually prefer to sit at home and read or spend time with my family now instead of "going out".

My guy friends (AND COUSINS) who I really trusted and thought of as brothers kept asking me out and bugging me out to the point I had to start ignoring them. It's so messed up, its disgusting. My friends that also were trying to lose weight started to avoid me. I was still the same person (just a little happier on the outside) but everyone acted SO different, it was crazy. Even my professors who had me the semester before when I was a lot heavier acted completely different.

Losing weight changes everything. It did for me.

beachgod

Actually I found shift work did that - different days off - different hours off - a shift worker's schedule does not work well with someone who works bankers hours Monday thru Friday. Sad but true.

+1 million to this. I've been doing shift work for the past four years and it is a lifestyle killer.

I haven't had this problem with fitness goals, though. Most people are supportive or don't care one way or the other.

Waggoner83

Actually I found shift work did that - different days off - different hours off - a shift worker's schedule does not work well with someone who works bankers hours Monday thru Friday. Sad but true.

+1 million to this. I've been doing shift work for the past four years and it is a lifestyle killer.

I haven't had this problem with fitness goals, though. Most people are supportive or don't care one way or the other.

Waggoner83

I am sorry you had to go through this. Maybe this how we learn who our real friends really are.

Waggoner83

That kind of suck that a person could act funny, but to start spreading rumors is not very nice.

MysteriousMerlin

Actually I found shift work did that - different days off - different hours off - a shift worker's schedule does not work well with someone who works bankers hours Monday thru Friday. Sad but true.

Bingo. I worked FT midnights for almost 10 years. My social life then revolved around my husband and my momma. It's taken 4.5 years go get it back on track.

My friends and family are far too important to me to distance myself from them again.

Try inviting your friends with you to the gym, or ask them to go on a long walk or hike or bike with you. Maybe take up a dance class, something that would fit their personality.

Waggoner83

Keep up the good work it seems like you are going down the right path.

DeltaZero

Friends?

sarahmichel101

I feel like I can't hang out with my friends because of all of the drinking! I know I don't have to, but the problem is I want to drink with them.

skullshank

did you develop a holier-than-thou attitude about it?

Mia_RagazzaTosta

did you develop a holier-than-thou attitude about it?

Survey says...

Hauntinglyfit

Have you ever noticed when you started to live the healthy life your friends became distance? Not that you actually have time to communicate with them because we are all a bit busier than before especially with going to the gym and working out on a regular. What is up with that? I am married with 2 kids and do not have enough time for myself as it is, but a jealous friend hate on you because you do not have time to hang out. I look at my family and fitness is my priority and everything else comes last.

They put you as high on their priorities list as you put them. Completely normal, and it has nothing to do with jealousy.

DeltaZero

did you develop a holier-than-thou attitude about it?

MFP says...

All the highly opinionated people should be here shortly to infer their thoughts on the OP in attempts to justify their projections.

dlionsmane

I am sorry you had to go through this. Maybe this how we learn who our real friends really are.

Yep. The way I would look at it is... if they cannot be happy for me and wish me well, then they weren't truly a friend and I don't need them in my busy life taking up my valuable time that I could be spending doing more productive things with people who really care about me! (and this hasn't happened to me so, I am guessing this would be my reaction... )

VelveteenArabian

They're not jealous. People who aren't into going to the gym are not jealous of those who do. You probably blew them off one too many times because as you said, they're not a priority for you, so they took the hint. If someone isn't a priority for you, sooner or later they're going to figure that out and move on.

If your friendships are important to you you will make time for them. Yes you might have to change your activity if what you used to do no longer fits with your choices. They're not mad because you're not getting wasted or stuffing your face, they're getting mad because they're not important to you and they thought they were.

BamaBreezeNSaltAire

Have you ever noticed when you started to live the healthy life your friends became distance? Not that you actually have time to communicate with them because we are all a bit busier than before especially with going to the gym and working out on a regular. What is up with that? I am married with 2 kids and do not have enough time for myself as it is, but a jealous friend hate on you because you do not have time to hang out. I look at my family and fitness is my priority and everything else comes last.

They put you as high on their priorities list as you put them. Completely normal, and it has nothing to do with jealousy.

QFT

LishieFruit89

If all you're talkimg about is health and fitness, I don't blame the.
It gets old.

One of my friends would only talk about this trip he was going on and it got so incredibly boring to listen to it. He thought I was distant because I was seeing someone new. Nope, I straight told him I was sick of hearing about his trip.

So, it might be them. It very well could be you OP.

calibriintx

I don't understand the question. You say that you spend less time with your friends because you're busy with family and fitness and everything else comes last. But you think your friends are distant? Feel free to correct me if my translation was incorrect.

DeltaZero

Did you hang out in your sports bra with them?

Cliffslosinit

Did you hang out in your sports bra with them?

Too soon....too soon.

calibriintx

Did you hang out in your sports bra with them?

Too soon....too soon.

:laugh:

ItsCasey

Have you ever noticed when you started to live the healthy life your friends became distance? Not that you actually have time to communicate with them because we are all a bit busier than before especially with going to the gym and working out on a regular. What is up with that?

Sounds like YOU became distance (sic), not they.

cwolfman13

I've found that it's really just a matter of growing up and getting older more than anything else. When I was in my 20s I had a ****load of "friends"...most of whom werre really just party buddies and really good aquaintances. I got married when I was 30 and that changed a lot..."friends" slowly but surely fell by the way side as we all started moving in our own directions and down our own paths in life. Five years later my first boy was born...again...life changing...then my second boy...now I have a very small number of very, very good friends...and even then, we see each other maybe a few times per month. I no longer have any single friends at all...just nothing in common and they don't understand the first thing about family responsibilities.

I would also add that it doesn't sound like it's your friends who are being distant...sounds like you are consciously making the decision...which is fine and perfectly reasonable for any number of reasons...but you shouldn't blame your friends.

toiletski

Focusing on fitness doesn't mean pushing aside everything else. I did that for awhile, what a horrible decision. I didn't even want to go out to dinner with my family and friends for my own birthday cause I just wanted to go to the gym. Never again.

Try to balance Faith, Family, Friends, Finance and Fitness

randomtai

Did you hang out in your sports bra with them?

Too soon....too soon.