Am I just to Sensitive?
Replies
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You should have degraded his manhood and told him that there would be no way in hell those girls would want him, and if they happened to get drunk enough to go home with him, he would just not live up to any sexual expectations they had...
Or...just break up.0 -
You're way over sensitive.
There will always be younger, thinner women than you. It's a natural reaction for a man to take a quick look. Doesn't mean he's going to cheat or anything. It just one of those things you need to deal with.
Looking is natural. Kind of weird that he's pointing them all out in front of her, though.
It's not weird, it's disrespectful and insensitive. Nothing wrong with looking, but you don't make comments like that in front of your girlfriend (or wife). It's grounds for seriously rethinking the relationship, in my book.
Depends on the relationship. I really couldn't care less if my husband looks and comments about another woman because I'm probably looking and voicing my opinion as well. He's not disrespecting me in any way, shape or form by doing this.
Different strokes for different folks.0 -
So this past Saturday I went to a social with my boyfriend and a friend of his. I spent most of the night listening to my bf and his friend make comments about they way the girls were dressed. Am I the only women who feels like a piece of crap when their significant other points out skinnier, younger, pretty women? I realize we are all human and we all look. It's not the looking that bothers me.
If he was doing it all the time when it was just me and him, I would think HE was a piece of crap.
But he was out with his friend and it sounds like you got to tag along on a 'boys night'.
There is a reason they say three is a crowd. Now you know how thrilling it is you might want to sit out the next one!0 -
Depending on your approach to him, will he listen to you? if not i suggest you give him a taste of his own medicine. Phone a friend when he there and have a girly chat about the hot guy at work/school/ pool..well you get the idea
No he doesn't listen. I said if he wanted to take the lesbians home I am sure his friend would give me a ride and he could pick up his **** in the morning. He has been ignoring me ever since. BTW we live together so it's been an awkward silence for a few days.
If he was joking, and you responded by swearing at him, I imagine he's aware he somehow angered you and is unsure how to talk to you.
If he was being completely serious, why did it bother you? The "lesbians are hot" angle? Was he drunk? Etc. etc.
I agree with what others have said to an extent: if it's a constant issue that you HAVE brought up to him in a manner that's not screaming or swearing in the heat of the moment (not the most conducive time to try and broach a relationship issue, though it sure as hell might feel like the time to do it because of how you feel), then you're probably not too sensitive. It's something worth bringing up when calm, using "I" statements to hit home that you're not trying to attack him, but trying to let him know how you feel from certain behaviors.
However, based on the quoted comments, I could easily see it as a perspective issue. The fact that you've already said, "I agree" to comments essentially saying, "You're not too sensitive; he's a jerk!," I'm thinking you don't think you're too sensitive but wanted a public outlet to vent about your bf/hear others agree with you.0 -
UNLESS... The woman they're with is bi and they can appreciate eyecandy together.Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.
^^This! :drinker:
Of course, I would have make comments about every hot guy that passed our way. But that's just me. :devil:
well that would have been a little weird considering I was the only woman, I would have been commenting to myself'
wait...he and his friend were commenting on what other women were wearing at a party where there were no other women?
oh ok....this isn't adding up0 -
My husband never ever talks about other women in front of me. And in turn, I don't comment on other men. I've never even caught him looking at another woman, he's incredibly subtle. And don't get me wrong, it's only human nature to look...but you can do it without being obvious or insulting to the woman you are with.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
THIS!!0 -
Looking is normal, commenting in front of your gf is not. Your BF is a rude creep, gentlemen do not act like that.0
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Depending on your approach to him, will he listen to you? if not i suggest you give him a taste of his own medicine. Phone a friend when he there and have a girly chat about the hot guy at work/school/ pool..well you get the idea
No he doesn't listen. I said if he wanted to take the lesbians home I am sure his friend would give me a ride and he could pick up his **** in the morning. He has been ignoring me ever since. BTW we live together so it's been an awkward silence for a few days.
It is okay to have a problem with his behavior, but it doesn't sound like you are communicating this effectively to him. Sit him down and have a mature conversation about how his comments make you feel and ask him nicely to not make those sort of comments in front of you anymore because it makes you uncomfortable. If you aren't attacking him and making snarky comments to him to try to express your anger, he will be more receptive to your feelings and less defensive.0 -
UNLESS... The woman they're with is bi and they can appreciate eyecandy together.Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.
^^This! :drinker:
Of course, I would have make comments about every hot guy that passed our way. But that's just me. :devil:
well that would have been a little weird considering I was the only woman, I would have been commenting to myself'
wait...he and his friend were commenting on what other women were wearing at a party where there were no other women?
oh ok....this isn't adding up
No, I think she meant she was the only woman in the group: it was her b/f his friend (assuming male) and her.0 -
With the dress comment, if he asked me to get that dress, I'd probably be flattered. If it was a skimpy thing and he thought it would look good on me.
Comment 2, wonder if they need a ride home. If he said it to me, I'd laugh really loud. We're always making the "take her home with us?" jokes. If he said it to his friend, I'd be annoyed, and would probably start looking for my own ride home.
Comment 3 about doing the worm, I'd laugh. That's kind of funny.
But that's me. If this bothers you, tell him.0 -
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It's actually funny, I say stuff about people I find attractive to my husband all the time. It doesn't bother him. He's kind of a weird one, he doesn't look at most other women that way. He grew up pretty sheltered and was kind of a momma's boy (in a good way), so he has a lot of respect for women. It's one of the things I love about him.0
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wait...he and his friend were commenting on what other women were wearing at a party where there were no other women?
oh ok....this isn't adding up
The only other woman in the conversation, not at the party.0 -
Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.
these were the comments I was most pissed off at.
very very petit girl maybe 22 years old. "hey you should get a dress like that" yep that made me feel like a huge whale.
two girls kissing on the dance floor. " hey honey, maybe they need a ride home."
"girls never dressed like this when I was young if they did I'd be on the floor doing the worm all night."
I am sure they're were other ones. His friend is single so I kinda expected it from him.
Okay. Yeah. I stand by my "too sensitive" response.
Comment #1) He was COMPLIMENTING you. He saw a dress that looked good on someone and was nice enough to comment that he thought YOU should get it because it would look good on you as well. It was a completely innocuous comment. My husband makes comments like that to me all the time.
Comment #2) He was probably telling you to go over there and join the girls making out (which, BTW just because two girls are kissing or groping on the dance floor does not automatically make them lesbians. Just sayin')
Comment #3) Is probably true. And kinda funny.
Seriously, I don't see any disrespecting here but then again I'd probably would have been joining in with the comments as well. *shrug*
Perhaps you just need to sit him down and explain why you got so upset.
Or: Opt to not be the third wheel when he and his friend are going out.0 -
If he does that while you are just dating, it definitely will never get better.0
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It sounds like he was trying to act "cool" around his friend and thought he was being really funny, and it might not have occurred to him just how the comments made you feel, so I doubt he intended serious offense but apparently has maturity issues.
It's not good that he's giving you the silent treatment over this, though.0 -
that's what guys do...it doesn't mean anything
Seriously? Wow well I am a guy and ya that's what I do, but would never disrespect my wife in that way. One comment may slip here and there or I may joke about a hot babe, but to go on all night long.. total disrespect. If it was just me and another guy, well you could probably never shut me up, but just freakin idiotic to do it to your significant other. period! It may not mean anything, but it does to the OP and would to most women. Respect.. dudes got to get some...0 -
Maybe its my age, but I think it is rude for a man to make comments to anyone about another woman in the presence of their spouse/gf. If you think you can sneak a peek, go for it, but ladies know when their man checks out another woman anyway. Just dont say anything.
these were the comments I was most pissed off at.
very very petit girl maybe 22 years old. "hey you should get a dress like that" yep that made me feel like a huge whale.
two girls kissing on the dance floor. " hey honey, maybe they need a ride home."
"girls never dressed like this when I was young if they did I'd be on the floor doing the worm all night."
I am sure they're were other ones. His friend is single so I kinda expected it from him.
Okay. Yeah. I stand by my "too sensitive" response.
Comment #1) He was COMPLIMENTING you. He saw a dress that looked good on someone and was nice enough to comment that he thought YOU should get it because it would look good on you as well. It was a completely innocuous comment. My husband makes comments like that to me all the time.
Comment #2) He was probably telling you to go over there and join the girls making out (which, BTW just because two girls are kissing or groping on the dance floor does not automatically make them lesbians. Just sayin')
Comment #3) Is probably true. And kinda funny.
Seriously, I don't see any disrespecting here but then again I'd probably would have been joining in with the comments as well. *shrug*
Perhaps you just need to sit him down and explain why you got so upset.
Or: Opt to not be the third wheel when he and his friend are going out.
I was not third wheeling. was supposed to be a double date but said friends date cancelled last minute.0 -
Maybe your boyfriend is a good guy and needs to be reminded. Who knows, he could have a completely shocked look on his face at 1) that you were upset by it, and 2) he was stupid not to realize it. You owe it to yourself, your relationship and him to say something in a nice way. If he cares about your feelings, its easy.
If he is a jerk about it ... you will at least know he is a jerk. If you ever find yourself in the same situation .... guys like them can NOT take it the other way around. I have hung around enough guys to know ...0 -
Maybe your boyfriend is a good guy and needs to be reminded. Who knows, he could have a completely shocked look on his face at 1) that you were upset by it, and 2) he was stupid not to realize it. You owe it to yourself, your relationship and him to say something in a nice way. If he cares about your feelings, its easy.
If he is a jerk about it ... you will at least know he is a jerk. If you ever find yourself in the same situation .... guys like them can NOT take it the other way around. I have hung around enough guys to know ...
^^^^take it from a guy>> that sound like he knows
I think he deserves to know how it made you feel, he probably does if you gave him the eyes....do it in a calm fashion , if he continues ..well at least you know hes a jerk like said above,0 -
Maybe your boyfriend is a good guy and needs to be reminded. Who knows, he could have a completely shocked look on his face at 1) that you were upset by it, and 2) he was stupid not to realize it. You owe it to yourself, your relationship and him to say something in a nice way. If he cares about your feelings, its easy.
If he is a jerk about it ... you will at least know he is a jerk. If you ever find yourself in the same situation .... guys like them can NOT take it the other way around. I have hung around enough guys to know ...
Thank I think I already know the answer to my own question sometimes it's just hard to admit. When someone loves you they respect your feeling no matter what, and that never seems to happen.0 -
Let's see.
It's spelled TOO, no TO.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Let's see.
It's spelled TOO, no TO.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes I think I already addressed my spelling error0 -
Let's see.
It's spelled TOO, no TO.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes I think I already addressed my spelling error
He is just too damn sensitive... :-)0 -
No not in my opinion, but I am also really sensitive. If I were in the same situation, I would totally talk to him the next day about it or even later that same night depending on how late it is when we got home. And if he wants to act like a complete jerk about it when I try to talk to him about it, and I was the one paying the rent, (or most of it anyway), I would ask him to leave. If it's vice-versa and he was paying most or all of the rent I would leave and find somewhere else to live.0
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Why did you continue to sit there? You made it clear to them it was ok. Next time get some backbone and walk away. Do you really want to be with a guy that is so disgusting?0
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I didn't say the looking bothered me. It's the comments that bother me.
Why would he do that in front of you? I find that odd and direspectful.0 -
My husband would never do that, and he knows that I better not catch him looking either. But that is our relationship, everyone is different. You are obviously not comfortable with it so you should tell him in a nice and calm manner without making him feel like a total weirdo for looking. Sometimes when we overreact to a situation and act passive aggressive instead of just saying what we are feeling, we end up looking like the jerk instead of the other way around. If you tell him your feelings nicely and he doesn't respect you enough to try and stop this behavior, he is truly not going to work out long term.0
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not a keeper-0
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Obnoxious for him to make comments openly in front of you. That's disrespectful in my opinion. :huh:0
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