Sabotage!
Replies
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I feel for both of you. You because you're trying to be healthy and do the right thing. Your husband because he still wants to connect to you but only knows how to do it through food. He's probably confused and feeling a little left out. Like you're doing something without him.
I don't know what the answer is for you. Eating less of the food he brings is a good compromise. Maybe ask him to take a walk with you afterwards. Find different ways to connect that doesn't have anything to do with food.0 -
I have the same problem with my co-workers. They are always bringing in cookies, donuts, brownies, etc. Sometimes I can resist the temptation, but many times I eat my share of that stuff. It makes me so angry after I do it. Why can't I control myself?
Anyway, good luck with your husband. I hope he will change for you.0 -
Not to be cliche but the only person you can control/change is yourself.
Either don't eat it or eat a smaller portion.
Edited to say the same thing applies for those coworkers bringing food to the office!0 -
Hey doll!
Ugh. I hate when there's nothing to eat or everyone wants to go out to eat or bring home take-away meals. What I do is *if* I can, I try to plan the rest of my day around the meal so that I don't go over my calorie budget, or I eat only a portion (maybe half) of the food and save the rest as leftovers. I've also been known to exercise to make up for the extra calories, but that's a rare occurance! LOL. Sometimes I just try to make up for it the next day.
If you find that your husband is regularly wanting to eat out, or if seems like he truly is sabotaging your efforts, eat at home anyway. Make a healthy meal and ignore his pleas for fattening fast food. Maybe tell him not to bring you anything, or only bring you a dessert. Eat before he brings home the food, then drink 16+ ounces of water as soon as he comes in with the food. Your tummy will be full and even if you eat some of the food, you won't be able to eat as much as you may originally have eaten.
Your friend,
Heat0 -
Thank you to those who provided an answer. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?0 -
TIL heroin addiction is the same as food "addiction".0
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so your house is a food free zone then I take it?
in ….to learn how food addiction and heroin addiction is the same….0 -
Its all in the planning your day's meals and activities. There is no need to throw the food out--save it and plan.0
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Hmmm. Difficult. But you can make it work for you. There's a way!
EIther:
1. Get to find out the days he tends to bring around these meals he wants to enjoy with you. Make it one or a few times a week where you can work out your meals for the day. Eat your light meals early in the day so you can enjoy his meal! Or if he does this several times a week, compromise with him and tell him to only do it a few times a week! (If he loves you, he'll understand. Plus you're compromising with him!)
2. Have another "celebrate with food" day with some healthier options?
3. Have a "let's push ourselves with exercise and physical activity together" and then go and enjoy this luscious meal!
It can be done. You don't have to give up your love life. PLUS, it doesn't have to be an extreme rabbit food eating change!!0 -
Your husband is not sabotaging you at all. You have just admitted that you have not changed your eating habits. Does your husband give you a hard time about that? If not, please try not to give him a hard time simply because he hasn't changed his habits, either. It will take time. Keep talking to him and working with him about your need for having only certain types or amounts of food in the home. Make an appointment with a nutrionist and BOTH of you go.0
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I agree with everyone - plan for it, eat a smaller portion, then go for a walk together after.
It's a surprise - remove yourself from temptation! I was trapped at my parents' house during a snow storm in Atlanta recently and my mom made my FAVORITE trader joe's boo die brownies. I was trapped in a house with the deliciousness. So what did I do? I took a small portion and cherished it. When I craved more, I went to the basement and did Zumba instead. Find a replacement and don't think about it - just do. If you think about it, you'll cave and eat. That is me speaking from experience.0 -
My husband, love him so much, but he ALWAYS is sabotaging me. I have been doing so well, and last night, he brings home food. I sat and thought on it for about 30 seconds before I caved. I'm obviously NOT strong enough to toss it in the trash. I have had talks with him about it, but he still does it!
I think it's more out of habit than anything. We're both obese, we've both celebrated occasions with food, we've both rewarded with food, and both thought it was a "nice" thing to do with each other.
How do I get this to change?
Thanks!
Just don't eat it, or eat a small portion.0 -
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right? [/b]
HOLY FREAKING CRAP.
No.
Not the same.
Let me ask you something, are you going to prostitute yourself for some pizza? You gonna steal from your momma for some cookies? You gonna lose your job cause you got a positive drug test for bacon?
Can you ruin your life with food addition? Yes. Can you ruin your life with heroin? Yes. You can ruin your life in lots of ways, they are not all equal.0 -
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
So, you're going to belittle the very real addiction that people have to heroin, not to mention the massive amounts of damage that that addiction does to people and to those they love, by saying a "food addiction" is the same thing?
Really?
You think that?
Let's not talk about people being *kitten* now, okay?0 -
My son sabotages me when he asks me to buy him fruit snacks and pudding cups for his lunches. I will continue to blame him because I refuse to accept responsibility for my actions.0
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Thank you to those who provided an answer with actual thought instead of being an *kitten*. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.' ***** please!
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
To those who provided constructive criticism and actual thoughts and ideas (using your brains), it's greatly appreciated.
First of all, my goal of losing 10 pounds is no less important than yours.
Second, there's no such thing as "food addiction", just severe lack of self control. You have the guts to dismiss 15 pounds goals as unimportant and laugh at the people who think that's "struggling", then you go on to trivialize REAL addiction and put your "struggles" at the same level.
To use your own words, more or less...lady, please!0 -
Cue Beastie Boys...
I just tried to click the like button that isn't there. :laugh:
Love me some Beasties!!!
AWWWW....
I can't stand it I know you planned it
I'm gonna set it straight, this watergate
I can't stand rocking when I'm in here
Because your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear
So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this ****ing thorn in my side
Oh my, it's a mirage
I'm tellin' y'all it's sabotage...:laugh:
okay OP...I hear ya but here's the deal, and I'm speaking as someone who lost over 100 pounds and has kept it off for years: It's all on you baby. You don't want to eat what he brings home? Then don't. Just tell him thanks but no thanks. Yeah, it's tough but eventually folks get the hint. It's all about mental toughness, goal oriented behavior and being prepared with a back up plan. You can't live in a bubble and you can't blame others for your self control!
BTW...I've been struggling to lose 5 pounds recently and it's a biotch because my preferred exercise, distance running, actually has added some weight to me and I'm not overeating. So now I have to figure out what's going wrong in my diet. And...those darn kids of mine continue to live at home so I have to work around their preference for pizza and chips...sabotage!!0 -
Thank you to those who provided an answer with actual thought instead of being an *kitten*. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.' ***** please!
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
To those who provided constructive criticism and actual thoughts and ideas (using your brains), it's greatly appreciated.
First of all, my goal of losing 10 pounds is no less important than yours.
Second, there's no such thing as "food addiction", just severe lack of self control. You have the guts to dismiss 15 pounds goals as unimportant and laugh at the people who think that's "struggling", then you go on to trivialize REAL addiction and put your "struggles" at the same level.
To use your own words, more or less...lady, please!
This just in, if you have 15 pounds or less to lose, YOUR LIFE IS PERFECT AND YOU'VE NEVER HAD A SINGLE STRUGGLE. Not even one.0 -
Thank you to those who provided an answer with actual thought instead of being an *kitten*. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.' ***** please!
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
To those who provided constructive criticism and actual thoughts and ideas (using your brains), it's greatly appreciated.
First of all, my goal of losing 10 pounds is no less important than yours.
Second, there's no such thing as "food addiction", just severe lack of self control. You have the guts to dismiss 15 pounds goals as unimportant and laugh at the people who think that's "struggling", then you go on to trivialize REAL addiction and put your "struggles" at the same level.
To use your own words, more or less...lady, please!
^^This, times 10000000
And In.
maybe I'll finally find out where he pulls the lighter from.0 -
Why would you throw it out? Ask him to let you know in advance so you can plan your day for the food he brought, or eat a smaller portion of it that you can fit in your day and save the rest for later.
^This is probably the best advice ever! My husband works evening shift, and is hardly ever home for dinner. His only day off is on Sunday, so I usually plan for us to go out to eat on that night, or if I make a meal that's high in calories, I know to save some calories for that night.
Hey! Maybe you can tell him to work evening shift! Ha! Lol. 0 -
Thank you to those who provided an answer with actual thought instead of being an *kitten*. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.' ***** please!
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
To those who provided constructive criticism and actual thoughts and ideas (using your brains), it's greatly appreciated.
First of all, my goal of losing 10 pounds is no less important than yours.
Second, there's no such thing as "food addiction", just severe lack of self control. You have the guts to dismiss 15 pounds goals as unimportant and laugh at the people who think that's "struggling", then you go on to trivialize REAL addiction and put your "struggles" at the same level.
To use your own words, more or less...lady, please!
This just in, if you have 15 pounds or less to lose, YOUR LIFE IS PERFECT AND YOU'VE NEVER HAD A SINGLE STRUGGLE. Not even one.
Yeah, really not cool to trivialize someone else's weight loss goals just because they are smaller than or different from yours.
The only way to make a long-term, sustainable change is by changing your habits, and more importantly, your mindset. It can be difficult, and it will take time, but ultimately, it has to come from you. You may want to have a talk with your husband about cooking or buying more calorie-friendly foods, but in the long run, especially if you have a food addiction, you'll want to put the time and effort into learning how to live in a world that isn't diet-friendly.0 -
The day you take responsibility for your own actions is the day you grow up. Stop blaming others for what you choose to do.
Your body. Your mind. Your choice.0 -
Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html0 -
Simply take it and divide it DO this BEFORE you take a bite. Put that away for tomorrow. Then eat if you go over calories for the day get busy and do another workout to help burn it off.
Maybe you can say to him that it's really nice when he brings home dinner BUT next time instead of fries could you get me a side salad.
I hope he is on this journey with you?0 -
Thank you to those who provided an answer with actual thought instead of being an *kitten*. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.' ***** please!
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
To those who provided constructive criticism and actual thoughts and ideas (using your brains), it's greatly appreciated.
First of all, my goal of losing 10 pounds is no less important than yours.
Second, there's no such thing as "food addiction", just severe lack of self control. You have the guts to dismiss 15 pounds goals as unimportant and laugh at the people who think that's "struggling", then you go on to trivialize REAL addiction and put your "struggles" at the same level.
To use your own words, more or less...lady, please!
^^This, times 10000000
And In.
maybe I'll finally find out where he pulls the lighter from.
Cookie went gangsta here! Like Michael Corleone's gun, in the Godfather, it's hidden in the toilet!0 -
After reading all these posts....OP, I have lost 120lb's overall. I can tell you, that weight mostly came off by eating a little less, and moving a little more. Now I have 10-20lb's left to lose, and it is the hardest thing I've tried to do, (as far as weight loss is concerned). I bust my *** trying to lose it. So don't trivialize somebody's 10-15lb's they're trying to lose....you really have no idea. As for the heroin addiction analogy, I'm not going to even touch that one. Prepare for this thread to get ugly starting.....now! :laugh: 0
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A blog a wrote a while ago...
It applies.
After posting on a "Why can't people understand that I'm trying to loose (sic) weight. They ply me with fried tubers and frozen dairy goods. WAHHHHHHHHHHH! Everyone hates me and they want me to be FAT!"
We have become a society of blamers and "I don't wanna take responsibility"ers. It sucks.
Don't hate your family and friends and accuse them of trying to sabotage your weight loss every time they offer you something that has calories. Don't ***** and whine and start stupid threads about how they must hate you because they are offering you deliciousness that's been fried, dipped in chocolate, and served on a oil-drenched platter.
Maybe people in your life don't give two shi!tz about their health, and good for you for caring. Being *****y towards those people is *definitely not* going to win them over to the dark side (you know, the one with carrots and water.) Or, maybe some people have figured out how to balance their life...eat **** one day, and then eat healthy for the remaining 6 days of the week. You trying to enforce your Sparta-like eating habits will just make you miserable company and (most likely...at least in my circles) the butt of most jokes when you aren't around.
Make your own choices, make your own decisions, and quit blaming others.
Whew, I feel better now!0 -
I can't stand rockin' when I'm in here, cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear!0
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Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html
Such a leap between the study and the article/headlines.
"Similar brain activity..."
"...may trigger the same brain mechanism tied to addiction."
If these were truly identical, then simply *limiting* "high-glycaemic foods" would not be effective...
...any more than *limiting* the amount of heroin used would be.
Keep reaching.0 -
Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html
So if you are addicted to food, your recovery from your addiction should be no different than the recovery from other addictions. You take responsibility for your actions and your change your actions. That has worked for countless others with heroin addictions, crack, speed, booze, you name it addictions. Are you saying that can't work for your food addiction? If that won't work, why not?0
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