Sabotage!
Replies
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Ask him to celebrate/show his appreciation with other things, like flowers.
Come up with a strategy beforehand so that, if this happens again, you can focus on that and redirect yourself before caving within 30 seconds.
And, if you decide to cave, log it and move on, tomorrow's another day.0 -
Yes some men will sabotage because they are afraid they will lose you if you lose weight and you obviously have a large amount to lose. They do it unconsciously because when you are overweight they believe no one else will want you. It could very well be his insecurity. My first husband did the same thing. You are going to have to suck it up and just not eat it.My husband, love him so much, but he ALWAYS is sabotaging me. I have been doing so well, and last night, he brings home food. I sat and thought on it for about 30 seconds before I caved. I'm obviously NOT strong enough to toss it in the trash. I have had talks with him about it, but he still does it!
I think it's more out of habit than anything. We're both obese, we've both celebrated occasions with food, we've both rewarded with food, and both thought it was a "nice" thing to do with each other.
How do I get this to change?
Thanks!0 -
Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html
Sorry, but your logic doesn't jive with, oh, reality.
Do you ignore or hurt people you love because you want a Twinkie? Do you miss work, lose jobs, lose your home, and end up committing crimes because you just have to get that next Dunkin' Donuts fix? Do you forgo everything else in life because all that matters to you is sweet, glorious, pain relieving food?
Drugs like heroin overstimulate brain regions that control reward and pleasure to the point where the body can no longer regulate these things on its own. Take the drug away and the body reacts violently. It's called withdrawal, and it's quite painful.
Tasty foods make act on the same reward centers of the brain, but they are not hijacking brain and body functions to the point where a person is driven to seek out more and more food. If that were the case, obesity wouldn't be an epidemic... it would be a plague.
As others have said, take some responsibility for your actions and give up the excuses. They do you no good.0 -
A blog a wrote a while ago...
It applies.
After posting on a "Why can't people understand that I'm trying to loose (sic) weight. They ply me with fried tubers and frozen dairy goods. WAHHHHHHHHHHH! Everyone hates me and they want me to be FAT!"
We have become a society of blamers and "I don't wanna take responsibility"ers. It sucks.
Don't hate your family and friends and accuse them of trying to sabotage your weight loss every time they offer you something that has calories. Don't ***** and whine and start stupid threads about how they must hate you because they are offering you deliciousness that's been fried, dipped in chocolate, and served on a oil-drenched platter.
Maybe people in your life don't give two shi!tz about their health, and good for you for caring. Being *****y towards those people is *definitely not* going to win them over to the dark side (you know, the one with carrots and water.) Or, maybe some people have figured out how to balance their life...eat **** one day, and then eat healthy for the remaining 6 days of the week. You trying to enforce your Sparta-like eating habits will just make you miserable company and (most likely...at least in my circles) the butt of most jokes when you aren't around.
Make your own choices, make your own decisions, and quit blaming others.
Whew, I feel better now!
Oh hell to the yes!!!! Just one of the many reasons I heart you so hard extra
OP all of the above. It's not sabotage and it's not an addiction. It's called Disordered Eating. It's called Emotional Eating. Equating a "food addiction" to heroin addiction is ridiculous and down right offensive to those who have ever been affected by addiction. Until you're ready to accept responsibility for shoveling food in your mouth, you will not be successful.
You came to the wrong place to be coddled. Good luck.0 -
Thank you to those who provided an answer with actual thought instead of being an *kitten*. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.' ***** please!
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
To those who provided constructive criticism and actual thoughts and ideas (using your brains), it's greatly appreciated.
Wow. I provided you with a thoughtful answer and sympathized with your plight. I only had 30 pounds to lose so does that make my answer less sympathetic or my advice mean less because I don't have as much weight to lose as you?
And to compare your "food addiction" to heroin addiction is absolutely ludicrous.
Get over yourself. Learn to say no to the food your husband brings home.0 -
Thank you to those who provided an answer with actual thought instead of being an *kitten*. It's apparent a lot of you haven't ever struggled with food addiction, not even once. Don't tell me that just because you're trying to lose your 15 pound side handles, that makes you strugglin.' ***** please!
To someone who struggles with food addiction, bringing food into a house is like bringing over some heroin when someone is going through rehab. I'm sure you'd tell them these same things, right?
To those who provided constructive criticism and actual thoughts and ideas (using your brains), it's greatly appreciated.
First of all, my goal of losing 10 pounds is no less important than yours.
Second, there's no such thing as "food addiction", just severe lack of self control. You have the guts to dismiss 15 pounds goals as unimportant and laugh at the people who think that's "struggling", then you go on to trivialize REAL addiction and put your "struggles" at the same level.
To use your own words, more or less...lady, please!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukFjH9odsXw
Science. It's a beautiful thing. This short video may be helpful as it contains facts and not opinions. It covers the chemistry of addiction. It does specifically cover heroin addiction around the 4:40-50 mark and food addiction (comparing it to heroin addiction) around the 9:30-45 mark. It also covers cocaine, meth, and bath salts so, it's like a one stop shop.:drinker:
Brains are complex. Addiction is complex.
Enjoy:flowerforyou:
Edited to say- I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong.0 -
I wish my husband would bring me food. And chocolate. Food and chocolate. Ok, mainly chocolate. I wish my husband would bring me chocolate.
I've lost 106lbs, does that qualify my answer at all? Lol0 -
Yes, it needs to change mentally, and that is a work in progress. But for people to not be supportive doesn't help. Look, it's a "SUPPORT" thread, not a "be an *kitten*" thread. I'm proud of people for losing 10 pounds, but it in no way lets them feel what it's like to have food addiction. In no way would anyone who has ever gone through it be like any of you.Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html
So if you are addicted to food, your recovery from your addiction should be no different than the recovery from other addictions. You take responsibility for your actions and your change your actions. That has worked for countless others with heroin addictions, crack, speed, booze, you name it addictions. Are you saying that can't work for your food addiction? If that won't work, why not?0 -
The most weight I've ever had to lose was 35 lbs, and that was because I became very ill. Like, I almost died I was so sick. I even ate healthy foods, but gaining the weight was absolutely out of my control during that time.
The reason why I've never had much weight to lose is because I've put in the effort. I ate sweets and fatty foods in moderation, and stayed somewhat active. I love chocolate. I love cheese. Hamburgers? I could eat them every day. Same with Mexican food. It isn't easy passing those foods up most of the time--it's work. Keeping active takes effort too. So please, don't trivialize my goal of losing 10 lbs because I've worked damned hard to make sure I don't have much weight to lose, if any, most of my life.
My point, though, is just like many others' here. It's entirely up to you to make good food and portion choices, and it's up to you to stay active enough to burn off the occasional indulgence. It's the reason why I've never had to lose much weight, and it's the reason why you'll be healthier if you do it too.0 -
I understand the difference between physical and mental addiction. I'm not a ****ing dumbass. Yes, it is JUST AS mentally addicting. Sure, the body will not go through violent withdrawls without it, but there is just as much to a mental addiction, which is why even after physical addiction is over, you still have a mental addiction and will lots of time lose control.
Simply put, you never know what someone is going through. Don't be a ****.Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html
Sorry, but your logic doesn't jive with, oh, reality.
Do you ignore or hurt people you love because you want a Twinkie? Do you miss work, lose jobs, lose your home, and end up committing crimes because you just have to get that next Dunkin' Donuts fix? Do you forgo everything else in life because all that matters to you is sweet, glorious, pain relieving food?
Drugs like heroin overstimulate brain regions that control reward and pleasure to the point where the body can no longer regulate these things on its own. Take the drug away and the body reacts violently. It's called withdrawal, and it's quite painful.
Tasty foods make act on the same reward centers of the brain, but they are not hijacking brain and body functions to the point where a person is driven to seek out more and more food. If that were the case, obesity wouldn't be an epidemic... it would be a plague.
As others have said, take some responsibility for your actions and give up the excuses. They do you no good.0 -
Thank you! I'm getting there. I appreciate it.The most weight I've ever had to lose was 35 lbs, and that was because I became very ill. Like, I almost died I was so sick. I even ate healthy foods, but gaining the weight was absolutely out of my control during that time.
The reason why I've never had much weight to lose is because I've put in the effort. I ate sweets and fatty foods in moderation, and stayed somewhat active. I love chocolate. I love cheese. Hamburgers? I could eat them every day. Same with Mexican food. It isn't easy passing those foods up most of the time--it's work. Keeping active takes effort too. So please, don't trivialize my goal of losing 10 lbs because I've worked damned hard to make sure I don't have much weight to lose, if any, most of my life.
My point, though, is just like many others' here. It's entirely up to you to make good food and portion choices, and it's up to you to stay active enough to burn off the occasional indulgence. It's the reason why I've never had to lose much weight, and it's the reason why you'll be healthier if you do it too.0 -
I would highly suggest reading the Community Guidelines OP.0
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be strong enought to chuck it in the bin and rubb it in his face that he just wasted money and food - if he doesn't get it he is either doing it on purpose or else......0
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Sabotage would be if he told you it was low calorie food, and in actuality it wasn't. He's not forcing you to eat what he brings home, nor are you obligated.My husband, love him so much, but he ALWAYS is sabotaging me. I have been doing so well, and last night, he brings home food. I sat and thought on it for about 30 seconds before I caved. I'm obviously NOT strong enough to toss it in the trash. I have had talks with him about it, but he still does it!
I think it's more out of habit than anything. We're both obese, we've both celebrated occasions with food, we've both rewarded with food, and both thought it was a "nice" thing to do with each other.
How do I get this to change?
Thanks!
How do you get this to change? Don't eat what he brings home.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Lots of anger here.0
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I wish my husband would bring me food. And chocolate. Food and chocolate. Ok, mainly chocolate. I wish my husband would bring me chocolate.
I've lost 106lbs, does that qualify my answer at all? Lol
Bacon - girlfriend needs to bring me bacon and more bacon and whilst she is at it she could slide a bit more bacon in between the bacon - you can keep your chocolate and hubby by all means - i'll have bacon!0 -
Oh please. I've had this discussion many times with others on here and even at work. So I propose this:Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html
Take any food you're "addicted" to. Say you don't have it for a month. Now it's in front of you, but it's had a swarm of flies landing on it after the swarm was in a pile of poo. Now tell me would you eat it? If not, then you're not addicted like a heroin addict, a coke addict, etc.
A heroin addict would risk using a dirty needle.
A cocaine addict would snort coke if it landed in a gutter.
An addict CANNOT use their addiction in moderation. People can do just fine having a little of their favorite foods without going into convulsions.
You're not "addicted", you just have a bad habit or disordered in your eating.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
This content has been removed.
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yepCue Beastie Boys...0 -
Oh please. I've had this discussion many times with others on here and even at work. So I propose this:Addiction is a disease, no matter what you are addicted too, and yes, there are TONS of people who manipulate and steal for food.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2349007/Food-really-addictive-Study-finds-brain-activity-similar-heroin-users-eating-certain-processed-foods.html
Take any food you're "addicted" to. Say you don't have it for a month. Now it's in front of you, but it's had a swarm of flies landing on it after the swarm was in a pile of poo. Now tell me would you eat it? If not, then you're not addicted like a heroin addict, a coke addict, etc.
A heroin addict would risk using a dirty needle.
A cocaine addict would snort coke if it landed in a gutter.
An addict CANNOT use their addiction in moderation. People can do just fine having a little of their favorite foods without going into convulsions.
You're not "addicted", you just have a bad habit or disordered in your eating.
lol. and all that comes to mind is bob saget in half baked.0 -
You and your husband are probably never going to be 100% on the same page with food/nutrition goals.
Deconstructed meals are the way to go. DH and I order take away quite a bit. While waiting we make a quick soup (pressure cookers and food processors rock) and/or salad.
Then he eats a higher ratio of take away to soup/salad than I do. Same goes for our daughter who is a growing girl without a weight problem. I eat more soup/salad and less take away.
It gives DH and I both a break from cooking while having a nice treat. Problem solved.0 -
My boyfriend does this too on occasion.
I usually make sure that I usually have some calories spare so I can have a little bit, and then I stop when I have had a small amount. I still find it hard when I've had enough to eat that day, I'm not hungry, and he digs out something yummy but I just remind myself of where I started and how I got to where I am now, and that's motivation enough.
I didn't used to be able to do this, previously I'd eat 'my share' too and inevitably put on weight, but when I started being really aware of how many calories I was eating vs. what I needed then it became much easier to stop when I wanted to.
You don't have to reach for that food and you don't have to eat it. If that is a real problem for you then you need to find some ways to manage it, e.g. increasing your exercise so you can eat that stuff without it becoming a weight issue.0 -
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