The Big Bad Gym Bully!
Replies
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I do free weights at home, not machines. Am I reading this right that she was bench pressing 25 pounds? I a little lady, but that doesn't sound like much. Sorry, I know we aren't supposed to say that. And maybe it is different on the machine. It just sounds like doing curls with the 3 lb Barbie weights, and the low weight makes your story even worse!0
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It is always the part timers that treat the Iron Dojo with disrespect. Don't worry friend she will be gone soon enough and back again next year to iron out that new years resolution. Keep up the good work.0
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Send a shirt to Canada, Baby. Smile K xo0
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I do free weights at home, not machines. Am I reading this right that she was bench pressing 25 pounds? I a little lady, but that doesn't sound like much. Sorry, I know we aren't supposed to say that. And maybe it is different on the machine. It just sounds like doing curls with the 3 lb Barbie weights, and the low weight makes your story even worse!
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You are correct, you are no supposed to “weight shame” anybody and it is different in the machines, whatever machine that lady was using.
This thread is about gym courtesy and about failing to remove the weights when a person is done, not about how much somebody lifts.
Move on please....0 -
Maybe I should have whined about the crotch sweat I had to wipe off a bench prior to using it today. Needed you at my gym to tell that girl, "Wipe Em"! LOL!!!!0
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Good for you!! I am sure she won't forget to RACK EM again!!0
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Hmpft...maybe I should share in the same approach when the people at my gym don't clean up after themselves on the turf!! They leave their cones, TRX ropes, mats, weights, etc on the turf after using them...irks me to no end!! You're my hero!!0
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I do free weights at home, not machines. Am I reading this right that she was bench pressing 25 pounds? I a little lady, but that doesn't sound like much. Sorry, I know we aren't supposed to say that. And maybe it is different on the machine. It just sounds like doing curls with the 3 lb Barbie weights, and the low weight makes your story even worse!
[/quote
You are correct, you are no supposed to “weight shame” anybody and it is different in the machines, whatever machine that lady was using.
This thread is about gym courtesy and about failing to remove the weights when a person is done, not about how much somebody lifts.
Move on please....
I really don't care how much she's lifting. It's just the fact that you think someone else should clean up behind you that really annoys me.0 -
I guess I'm alone here, but I really do think that you could have said it a little nicer. I usually remind people of their manners by letting them know that they have 'forgotten' whatever they were supposed to do.
"Excuse me, did you forgot to rack your weights?" would have have gotten you to the same place without seeming confrontational.
Just my $0.020 -
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Another thing its not just normal gym people, personal trainers who think they own the gym are rude too. They invade your personal space, take over the whole gym floor and act like there isn't any other paying customers in the gym either. I don't pay $30 a fortnight to not have any room to do my workout because of personal trainers with an excessive ego. I understand that they need room to train their clients but when they don't ask you to move and kind of shove you out of the way its just plain rude!!0
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Maybe I should try this technique, I've tried the evil eyes and the shake of a head but never actually got the courage to 'have a word' to any one person, although today I cracked, I had to take two 25kg plates of the squat bar so I could actually lift it up and load up with my weights. Two days ago I had to take off weights to enable me to lift the bar to the floor to load up for deadlifts and also had to take off some *kitten* weights from the bench press so on my way out I had a word with the girl on the desk.
Might be a wimpy approach but I don't want to make enemies or feel uncomfortable in the gym so I said 'could I make a suggestion.....blah blah blah' - we'll see though. I feel more for other girls (and men I guess) who literally might not be able to lift the 25kg plates and therefore sees the bar loaded and goes, 'nah, not even going to bother' cuz lifting is awesome!!!!0 -
In for a t-shirt
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Not knowing proper etiquette makes me scared to go into a gym now... I guess when I get to that point in my fitness I'll just get weights for home. : (0
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Not knowing proper etiquette makes me scared to go into a gym now... I guess when I get to that point in my fitness I'll just get weights for home. : (
That's what my husband and I are doing now. No need to worry about gym manners when your the owner of the "gym" lol.0 -
I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).0 -
Not knowing proper etiquette makes me scared to go into a gym now... I guess when I get to that point in my fitness I'll just get weights for home. : (
No need to fear the gym. Every gym I have ever been in have the rules posted everywhere. It is kind of like going to a public pool or water park. There are very reasonable rules posted and it is just common courtesy for them to be followed. Racking the weights is nothing more than putting things back where you got them from. No fear.0 -
I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
1.) I don't care that she carries around an Ipad that's just how I distinguish her. Just like the guy I call "Yankee" because he always wears a Yankee hat
2.) The sandwiching of weight makes no difference to me unless I'm the one who ends up racking them. My hands are big enough to where I can grab all of her weights with one hand but when they are sandwiched the smaller one slides out and it's annoying especially when they are not my weights!
3) It's not even "etiquette" you learned this stuff in pre-school clean up your mess. you don't have to go through training to know this.0 -
I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
1.) I don't care that she carries around an Ipad that's just how I distinguish her. Just like the guy I call "Yankee" because he always wears a Yankee hat
2.) The sandwiching of weight makes no difference to me unless I'm the one who ends up racking them. My hands are big enough to where I can grab all of her weights with one hand but when they are sandwiched the smaller one slides out and it's annoying especially when they are not my weights!
3) It's not even "etiquette" you learned this stuff in pre-school clean up your mess. you don't have to go through training to know this.
You dont care about how much she lifts...you don't care about her lugging her things around...you just dont care..so why mention it? You know what else we learn in pre school? Tone. You dont have to say something blatantly rude to imply judgement. Your tone speaks volumes. Like the difference between enthusiastically saying "wow you've changed!" Or "wow...you've um...changed..." See how they mean different things? You don't have to go through training to know this. Don't act all innocent. You are not a victim. You were rude. And now you posted here because you want people on your side. as well as people to poke fun at her. There were so many different ways to handle the situation.0 -
I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
1.) I don't care that she carries around an Ipad that's just how I distinguish her. Just like the guy I call "Yankee" because he always wears a Yankee hat
2.) The sandwiching of weight makes no difference to me unless I'm the one who ends up racking them. My hands are big enough to where I can grab all of her weights with one hand but when they are sandwiched the smaller one slides out and it's annoying especially when they are not my weights!
3) It's not even "etiquette" you learned this stuff in pre-school clean up your mess. you don't have to go through training to know this.
You dont care about how much she lifts...you don't care about her lugging her things around...you just dont care..so why mention it? You know what else we learn in pre school? Tone. You dont have to say something blatantly rude to imply judgement. Your tone speaks volumes. Like the difference between enthusiastically saying "wow you've changed!" Or "wow...you've um...changed..." See how they mean different things? You don't have to go through training to know this. Don't act all innocent. You are not a victim. You were rude. And now you posted here because you want people on your side. as well as people to poke fun at her. There were so many different ways to handle the situation.
woah, someones got a bee in their bonnet!! people get pissed when they continually have to clear up someones mess - he also stated she's does it all the time, meaning she isnt totally new to the gym so should know abit about etiquette and should have abit more respect and also that he did say thank-you after she did rack them.
Chill out.0 -
I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
1.) I don't care that she carries around an Ipad that's just how I distinguish her. Just like the guy I call "Yankee" because he always wears a Yankee hat
2.) The sandwiching of weight makes no difference to me unless I'm the one who ends up racking them. My hands are big enough to where I can grab all of her weights with one hand but when they are sandwiched the smaller one slides out and it's annoying especially when they are not my weights!
3) It's not even "etiquette" you learned this stuff in pre-school clean up your mess. you don't have to go through training to know this.
You dont care about how much she lifts...you don't care about her lugging her things around...you just dont care..so why mention it? You know what else we learn in pre school? Tone. You dont have to say something blatantly rude to imply judgement. Your tone speaks volumes. Like the difference between enthusiastically saying "wow you've changed!" Or "wow...you've um...changed..." See how they mean different things? You don't have to go through training to know this. Don't act all innocent. You are not a victim. You were rude. And now you posted here because you want people on your side. as well as people to poke fun at her. There were so many different ways to handle the situation.
woah, someones got a bee in their bonnet!! people get pissed when they continually have to clear up someones mess - he also stated she's does it all the time, meaning she isnt totally new to the gym so should know abit about etiquette and should have abit more respect and also that he did say thank-you after she did rack them.
Chill out.
He said she joined sometime in January...that's still pretty new. Anyway, if you read what all that I had to say, you already know I do think it was wrong of her to not rack her weights. But it's wrong of him to loudly and rudely say RACK EM. then come on here, acting like some defender of justice. He was just as rude for his reaction (and for the obvious judgement in this post) as she was for not racking her weights. Did she loudly yell back at him in front of everyone calling him a jerk? A bully? No. (As far as we know). She went to the manager in private and saved him the public humiliation, which he did not do for her.0 -
I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
I agree, you do sound like you came off as a bit of a bully. She did feel the need to complain about you to management. Would you have used the same tone and attitude to a 300 lb. no-neck steroid head, or a smart aleck high school jock? There have been other threads on these message boards discussing how women have been felt to feel intimidated or not welcomed in the weight lifting section of the gym. Perhaps it is guys like you that have led them to feel this way.0 -
Here's my $0.02. There aren't rules posted in our gym about racking weights. Just a note on the door about keeping it closed, a note on the mirror in there about any tobacco use being forbidden, and not dropping the weights to the ground. When I ventured into the big boy weight room, I didn't have to be told to rack the weights. I do it out of courtesy. I leave everything the way that I want to find it. That's just from my raising. I do that in everything that I do. Perhaps he could have been nicer and I'm sure that if it were anyone else that he was continually going behind and having to rack their weights, he would've responded the same way. I don't know, I don't personally know him. I believe his post was a rant about people not racking their weights, nothing more. I don't think he was trying to be the hero of justice or whatever. Just his experience at the gym this particular day.0
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I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
I agree, you do sound like you came off as a bit of a bully. She did feel the need to complain about you to management. Would you have used the same tone and attitude to a 300 lb. no-neck steroid head, or a smart aleck high school jock? There have been other threads on these message boards discussing how women have been felt to feel intimidated or not welcomed in the weight lifting section of the gym. Perhaps it is guys like you that have led them to feel this way.
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I don't know if yelling it to where everyone could hear it was a the best move, that part might make you a jerk. But then, I've practically held people by the ear to get them to pick up their ****, so I sympathize.0
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I think you're a hero- she won't forget to do it now, I think! LOL
BOOM! Love it!0 -
I want you in my gym. I had to put away 6 45 lb weights because I can only bench press the bar.
Thinking about making a shirt with "RACK'EM" on the front and back. Maybe I should embrace this whole bully thing LOL
I'd wear that!0 -
I used to get angry at the person not racking their weights, but now instead I use it as a bonding experience with my fellow gym peeps, as we can commune whilst talking crap about the jerk not reracking his weights.0
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Would've done the same thing, lol. Only so much I can tolerate with people.0
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Bad form on your part, OP. Either remind her politely to re-rack (as maybe she doesn't actually know she's supposed to), or file a complaint, so that management can take care of it. Your choice of tactics was, indeed, over the line.0
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