The Big Bad Gym Bully!
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I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
I agree, you do sound like you came off as a bit of a bully. She did feel the need to complain about you to management. Would you have used the same tone and attitude to a 300 lb. no-neck steroid head, or a smart aleck high school jock? There have been other threads on these message boards discussing how women have been felt to feel intimidated or not welcomed in the weight lifting section of the gym. Perhaps it is guys like you that have led them to feel this way.
If this keeps people who don't rerack their weights out of the weight room then that is just fine with me. The gym manager seemed to agree here too. If this bothers you so much then go do yoga0 -
This all makes me love my gym even more. People wipe down machines, people re-rack their weights and are generally nice and tidy around the gym.0
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Rack Em is right. Let's act like there's someone else who wants to use these weights!0
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i think she is a evil ***** and i do not even know her,. ha ha0
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I'm sorry but this has to be said. If you're the gym bully for insisting on common courtesy, your gym needs to get some REAL bullies!!
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I bet she always racks her weights after this:)
Actually, this story reminds me of last year when my friend Ben yelled at me. I was just running with a group and was lagging behind. Everyone ran to the stop sign then turned around. I turned around a little earlier to stay with the group. Ben called me by name and yelled at me, " Touch the stop sign!!!" I was mortified and shocked at his loud voice. Honestly, I'm hypersensitive about deep voices and not used to men yelling at me. I did run to the sign a little nervously to be honest.
Ben coaches girl's volleyball, he probably yells all the time and does so to be helpful and to push the athletes to work harder. We are good friends now, coaching together, but wow, what an example of two different perspectives colliding!0 -
i vote bully. there's a place in the world to be polite, civil, and not purposefully embarrass other people*
and i'm casting a vote that if, instead of "ipad", it was Big Mike, whole benches 400 and has arms the size of your thighs, that you wouldn't bark "RACK EM" loud enough to embarrass him in front of the entire gym and then stare him down like a starving man stares at a 2 piece spicy. I'm fine racking my weights, and i'm fine racking some other chicks 2 pound weights but I'm not fine getting called out. "RACK EM" would have been answered "GO FK YOURSELF" by me.
*that place is not the forums, obv.0 -
Bad form on your part, OP. Either remind her politely to re-rack (as maybe she doesn't actually know she's supposed to), or file a complaint, so that management can take care of it. Your choice of tactics was, indeed, over the line.
Been there done that...management doesn't do anything.0 -
I don't think that yelling RACK 'EM out so the entire gym could hear to the point where people turned and looked at her was appropriate. You could have walked over to her and asked her nicely to rack the weights and explain to her that is what you do when your done because she might not have known.
Or just said nothing. It wasn't like it was an amount that you can't take off yourself. Is it annoying to have to do that when you want to use equipment? Sure. I have to un-rack equipment all the time but I'm not going to yell at someone and embarrass them for not doing it.0 -
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Seems like the person wearing the shirt should abide by Rule #10 . . .0 -
I walked out with 120kg of plates left on the Olympic bar on the protruding safety bars of the power cage earlier!
Ok, it's my own setup and no one else using it at the moment (even when others are using it, I've spent the time to make up a power cage and buy olympic weights with a bench and other stuff - I don't feel bad if they have to remove my weights
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Never that bothered if people do leave the weights on the bars etc - I'll either take them off, maybe put back in the rack, but more likely leave there until I want to use myself.
However, if there's rules up on the walls saying 're rack', quite fair enough.0 -
I totally get being irritated at not racking weights. It drives me nuts too...but you ARE acting like a bully (as well as others commenting) because you're judging and mocking her based on her every move. You're not just ranting about her not racking weights. You're rolling your eyes (metaphorically) about her carrying her things. Maybe she doesn't have a lock, and doesn't want to leave her things unattended? Youre doubting her commitment because of her carrying around her iPad and others said that she wont last long? Well, if she's as thin as you say, obviously she's doing something right. Youre scoffing at her sandwich-ing her weights, maybe she's new to using weights and doesn't yet pay attention to irrelevant details? Asking if she wears make up as well in a mocking manner? Maybe she goes to the gym right after work and doesn't want to scrape her face to get it all off? Basically, you and some others here are condemning everything about her, thinking you're so much better. So yes I would say that's bully behavior.
Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, on my phone so there will probably be lots of typos.
ETA: and you said she's new. She probably doesn't know proper gym etiquette. It could be a whole new environment for her. Instead of being a jerk, you could have nicely told her she could rack her weights to be respectful to others. Its like if you went to a different country and didn't know their customs. You'd rather be kindly notified then rudely and loudly called out in front of others. You caused her humiliation there, and clearly that wasn't enough because you're here causing her even more embarrassment because you are still bitter over being called a bully (when you in fact did not act kindly).
1.) I don't care that she carries around an Ipad that's just how I distinguish her. Just like the guy I call "Yankee" because he always wears a Yankee hat
2.) The sandwiching of weight makes no difference to me unless I'm the one who ends up racking them. My hands are big enough to where I can grab all of her weights with one hand but when they are sandwiched the smaller one slides out and it's annoying especially when they are not my weights!
3) It's not even "etiquette" you learned this stuff in pre-school clean up your mess. you don't have to go through training to know this.
You dont care about how much she lifts...you don't care about her lugging her things around...you just dont care..so why mention it? You know what else we learn in pre school? Tone. You dont have to say something blatantly rude to imply judgement. Your tone speaks volumes. Like the difference between enthusiastically saying "wow you've changed!" Or "wow...you've um...changed..." See how they mean different things? You don't have to go through training to know this. Don't act all innocent. You are not a victim. You were rude. And now you posted here because you want people on your side. as well as people to poke fun at her. There were so many different ways to handle the situation.
woah, someones got a bee in their bonnet!! people get pissed when they continually have to clear up someones mess - he also stated she's does it all the time, meaning she isnt totally new to the gym so should know abit about etiquette and should have abit more respect and also that he did say thank-you after she did rack them.
Chill out.
He said she joined sometime in January...that's still pretty new. Anyway, if you read what all that I had to say, you already know I do think it was wrong of her to not rack her weights. But it's wrong of him to loudly and rudely say RACK EM. then come on here, acting like some defender of justice. He was just as rude for his reaction (and for the obvious judgement in this post) as she was for not racking her weights. Did she loudly yell back at him in front of everyone calling him a jerk? A bully? No. (As far as we know). She went to the manager in private and saved him the public humiliation, which he did not do for her.
Oh I get it... This is a generational thing, i'll do my best to try and explain this to you...
See waaayyyyy back when I was growing up (the 80's) there was these things called "FACTS".
You could not argue with a FACT!
Water boils at 100 degrees, there are 12 inches in a foot etc etc etc...
So, using this FACT logic...
If you ran a race and came in last place that was a FACT not bullying
If you took a test and got an F that was a FACT not a put-down
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be called a bully so stating a FACT!
So, in a effort to re-balance the scales (and embracing my inner bully) I'd like to declare war on you and your Anti-FACT logic!
RACK'EM! - The Gym Bully0 -
thisI want you in my gym. I had to put away 6 45 lb weights because I can only bench press the bar.
Thinking about making a shirt with "RACK'EM" on the front and back. Maybe I should embrace this whole bully thing LOL
I'd buy one of those shirts!!!0 -
I want you in my gym. I had to put away 6 45 lb weights because I can only bench press the bar.
Thinking about making a shirt with "RACK'EM" on the front and back. Maybe I should embrace this whole bully thing LOL
I'm not very confrontational in person but "RACK'EM" did make me laugh. Please make this shirt.0 -
Just sounds like you were rude, to be honest.
And compared to her, I'd imagine you probably look pretty intimidating.
I wouldn't have made a complaint about you, I would have told you where to get off.
The word 'please' is always the best place to start...especially when you're then going to come on her and crow like a 14 year old. Sounds like you might be really good at 'etiquette' but not very good at 'polite'0 -
FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
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FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
When the so-called "Meat heads", "Bros" & "Soccer moms" all know the rules and follow them. Why should anyone get a pass. So you're saying only people who are a certain height & weight have to follow the rules?0 -
i vote bully. there's a place in the world to be polite, civil, and not purposefully embarrass other people*
and i'm casting a vote that if, instead of "ipad", it was Big Mike, whole benches 400 and has arms the size of your thighs, that you wouldn't bark "RACK EM" loud enough to embarrass him in front of the entire gym and then stare him down like a starving man stares at a 2 piece spicy. I'm fine racking my weights, and i'm fine racking some other chicks 2 pound weights but I'm not fine getting called out. "RACK EM" would have been answered "GO FK YOURSELF" by me.
*that place is not the forums, obv.
nearly died @ two piece spicy:laugh:0 -
Depending on their breast size, I let them break all the rules!FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
When the so-called "Meat heads", "Bros" & "Soccer moms" all know the rules and follow them. Why should anyone get a pass. So you're saying only people who are a certain height & weight have to follow the rules?0 -
FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
When the so-called "Meat heads", "Bros" & "Soccer moms" all know the rules and follow them. Why should anyone get a pass. So you're saying only people who are a certain height & weight have to follow the rules?
I'm saying you don't have to resort to intimidation to get someone to follow the rules. The fact that you made a point to note how tiny and old this woman was tells me most of what I need to know.
Wake me up when this thread begins "So this guy was 6'3", 240 pounds, and his two lifting buddies were even bigger, and then I stared at him and yelled "RACK EM".... I think we know how that story ends tho.0 -
FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
When the so-called "Meat heads", "Bros" & "Soccer moms" all know the rules and follow them. Why should anyone get a pass. So you're saying only people who are a certain height & weight have to follow the rules?
I'm saying you don't have to resort to intimidation to get someone to follow the rules. The fact that you made a point to note how tiny and old this woman was tells me most of what I need to know.
Wake me up when this thread begins "So this guy was 6'3", 240 pounds, and his two lifting buddies were even bigger, and then I stared at him and yelled "RACK EM".... I think we know how that story ends tho.
Totally agree. I love the irony of a bloke whining on and on about how this woman doesn't understand how to be polite in a gym, so he sorts it being being incredibly rude to her.0 -
IMO You were both in the wrong. Yes she should have reracked. You have no authority to tell her what to do. You should have requested it not demanded it. Try to act more civilized and maybe more people will learn proper gym etiquette.
PS. stop scaring away the cardio bunnies ....jk0 -
FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
When the so-called "Meat heads", "Bros" & "Soccer moms" all know the rules and follow them. Why should anyone get a pass. So you're saying only people who are a certain height & weight have to follow the rules?
There was clearly no need to yell at her loud enough so that everyone in the gym turned around and looked at her. It was plain rude. You could have told her in a nice way. Yes, she should have re-racked the weights but you shouldn't have screamed at her to do it.
As everyone else has said, come back when you've told a guy who's 6'3 and 240 pounds to 'RACK 'EM'. My guess is that ain't happening.0 -
FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
When the so-called "Meat heads", "Bros" & "Soccer moms" all know the rules and follow them. Why should anyone get a pass. So you're saying only people who are a certain height & weight have to follow the rules?
I'm saying you don't have to resort to intimidation to get someone to follow the rules. The fact that you made a point to note how tiny and old this woman was tells me most of what I need to know.
Wake me up when this thread begins "So this guy was 6'3", 240 pounds, and his two lifting buddies were even bigger, and then I stared at him and yelled "RACK EM".... I think we know how that story ends tho.
^^ This thread is fun here because it lets out a common frustration, but he's right. Honestly, I've never raised my voice in the gym except once and it was to a massive dude who was chewing me out for taking his bench after he left it for at least 15 minutes. Nothing like a little ego to put the ol' face at risk. In the end, he was kicked out of the gym, not because I reported it (I didn't), but because he did the same thing to a 60 something year old woman and several of the other guys reported him. The point is yea, ha ha, you yelled at the person who didn't rerack her weights, but it wasn't exactly the best move, and you don't want a reputation as a hot head.
But no, I still don't feel sorry for her.0 -
As much as I can't stand someone not picking up after themselves, Bullying a 120 lb woman is just wrong. There may have been a different outcome too when you left the gym.
"Mr. 250 lb Bully, meet husband with Mr. 2 X 4."0 -
Re-racking your plates at my gym is the RULE...which not all people follow. So, you were the Enforcer, not a bully.
The worst is when people (mostly men) leave 45lb plates on things. I had to de-load the squat machine once. It was pretty terrible. What made it worse was that some young guy was watching me struggle with this...and just smiling!!! I think he thought it was "cute" that I was pulling off all of these huge plates. He could have offered to help...but in all fairness, I probably would have been *****y to him.0 -
My gym mostly has equipment with the sliding pin into weights so no racking required. It is not really a free weight gym with only a Smith Machine which I abhor. I have a cage and Olympic set in my garage for that. But the machines are decent and allows fast and just wipe away when your done.0
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So yelling "RACK 'EM" loud enough for the whole gym to hear is the nicest way you could think to ask someone to rack their weights when they're done? Your lack of social skills makes you look like a bully.
And I'll preface this by saying that I always re-rack my weights, but I think it's funny that people complain about having to lift a couple extra weights at the gym. I mean, you're at the gym to lift weights right? It's the same with parking, people will drive around or wait 10 minutes to find a parking spot that's 10 feet closer to the one they just passed, and then they go into the gym and walk on the treadmill for 3 miles.0
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