What my Psychologist told me

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  • tjsoccermom
    tjsoccermom Posts: 500 Member
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    If you know that you can't control yourself, I would start with avoidance. Eventually, you'll want to be able to limit yourself to a single portion of a treat but knowing that you can't do that currently, why tempt yourself? As you learn more about your triggers or why you can't seem to stop at just "one", hopefully you'll be able to reach a point where you can stop yourself. No point in setting yourself up to fail currently. Even now, after changing my lifestyle for a year, there are some things that I wouldn't buy because I know I would have trouble keeping myself from eating more that I should. But you'll get there!
  • baileyang33
    baileyang33 Posts: 131 Member
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    It was the only way I could cope with a nicotine addiction so - who knows - it may be the best way for you to cope. Perhaps just cut out the worst offender at first?:smile:

    Me 2. I can never have another hit again, or I will smoke.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I don't think there is a "best" way, there is only the way that is most useful to you in any given situation. If you think this might work, try it. Sounds like you stand to benefit more than you have to lose. Despite the fervent moderation crowd around here, there is nothing wrong with avoiding any given food for as long as you need to.

    ^^THIS^^
    For me, not eating sweets and chips works best, and after a bit, was and is super easy. Eating a tiny bit, not so much.

    I may choose to eat them from time to time, but "moderation" with tortilla chips just doesn't work for me. Not eating them does.

    Find what works for you. And it may change!
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
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    Hey guys,

    I started seeing a psychologist when I lost a loved one, had the hardest time in the world accepting it and began questioning life. He's been a huge help. We also discussed how I use food as a coping method. Not any food, just the sweet fattening crap. I told him that I have tried moderation many times and most of the time it leads to binging.

    His response was " Never eat it again. Do I really need to have it? Will I really miss it?"

    That was last week. I haven't done it yet as it got me thinking. Is this really the best way?

    Is anyone else in this predicament where you binge on certain foods? Have you given the food up completely?

    I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your psychologist did wonders to help you through your stages of grief. It also sounds like he may not understand much about ED. I don't know about you but I've gone to the store, bought food, brought it home and binged on it and have no memory or only a vague memory of any of it. Just saying "Never eat it again" would not have been helpful to me. Perhaps he can refer you to a psychologist, counselor or support group that can help.

    I wish you the best. :flowerforyou:
  • krist3ng
    krist3ng Posts: 259 Member
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    What I would do if I had a particular problem food would be to give it up completely for three weeks. Get my brain un-used to having it frequently, and then reintegrate it in moderated amounts after the three weeks. That way, you'll have learned to say no to the food in question, but can also have it on occasion.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Didn't read the comments, here are my thoughts....

    How does does the advice sound to you? Does it feel reasonable and like something you'd actually want to do and happily be able to do --- or would making it off limits make you want it even more? Can you learn other coping techniques through cognitive behavior therapy that will lessen your desire to binge in the first place, making moderation a more reasonable possibility?

    You know yourself better than any of us know you. Go with your gut.
  • JoanneC1216
    JoanneC1216 Posts: 166
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    There are so many great comments here, thank you!

    So, after giving it some thought, I think I will give it up temporarily. I'm having a b-day party for my kids on March 15th so I will make that my day to indulge in a piece of cake.

    Good idea?
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,227 Member
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    For me that would require giving up all food, except for calamari and hard boiled eggs which I hate. I can overeat on anything.
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Bump
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    I think that your psychologist is not an expert on nutrition or diet, and should stick to his area of expertise. What you do need to do, is not eat when you are depressed, or bored, or anxious, or stressed, or whatever. Instead, find other healthier ways to deal with these emotions. Exercise really is great for dealing with all of those things.
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
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    For me that would require giving up all food, except for calamari and hard boiled eggs which I hate. I can overeat on anything.

    Love calamari and hard boiled eggs but I would never binge on tomatoes! YUCK!

    lBHB0GK.jpg

    Red inedible devils! Blech!! :devil:
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
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    There are so many great comments here, thank you!

    So, after giving it some thought, I think I will give it up temporarily. I'm having a b-day party for my kids on March 15th so I will make that my day to indulge in a piece of cake.

    Good idea?

    I think it's a good idea. You can get the gluten out of your system and recover from the system shock, then have some B-day cake and see how it makes you feel. If you feel crummy or it triggers a binge, you'll know for sure.

    Good luck!!
  • jacquiearchambault
    jacquiearchambault Posts: 86 Member
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    First off, I am very sorry for your loss. I myself just started on this journey, but in instances when I know there will be "off limit" foods I hope to plan for those calories in advance in order to stay within my calorie limit and if on the occasion that I do binge I will have to shave off calories or add exercise to the next day or week to make up for it...I think we can have or cake and eat it too with a bit of planning. GOOD LUCK! :flowerforyou:
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    'Do I need to have it?' no. 'Will I really miss it?' HELL YEAH.

    I love food. Always have. The reason it took me so long to be willing to lose weight again is because I didn't want to give up on the foods I love. When I found out that I could lose weight and still eat what I liked, it changed my life.

    I had to stop cold turkey for a couple months. I used protein shakes as an alternative to satisfy my sweet tooth. But now I eat everything. IMO it's better to learn to eat things in moderation than to give them up... because really... will you be able to give them up forever? And what will happen if you have something again? You'll binge... feel guilty... and there goes that. I don't feel guilty if I have ice cream or cheesecake. It's delicious and I enjoy it.

    I was a huge binger. The whole chocolate bar (you know, the big ones). A whole box of cookies. 3 ice cream bars. Heck even now I can't always stop at one cookie. But it's ok. I log them before I eat them. I see how many calories I have left. I ask myself if it's worth it to be hungry tonight because I wanted an extra cookie. And mostly when I eat my first cookie, I try to have small bites and REALLY enjoy it. And I stop myself if I start thinking of getting another one while I'm still eating the first one... that's key. I slow down and enjoy it.
  • florentinovillaro
    florentinovillaro Posts: 342 Member
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    Food is not the enemy, over eating is. For obvious reasons, you've already identified the trigger for binging. Continue working on that issue and the trigger and binges will disappear. On another note, a habit takes 3-4 weeks to form, permanently. Make a change, wait out the 3 weeks, and that habit will be on auto-pilot.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,359 Member
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    I agree with maybeazure. I too have certain trigger foods. I am choosing to avoid them for a while to break the habits of when I tend to reach for them. I want to be aware of the craving moments and make a conscious choice not to eat the trigger food and do something else.

    However I won't tell myself I can never have that food again. When something becomes 'forbidden' we actually give it more power over us. It becomes special and there is something in our nature that makes us desire it more.

    An example is potato chips. I could easily demolish a family sized bag without thinking about it. I don't keep them in the house at all. I have given myself permission to have a snack sized bag if I walk to the store to buy it, and I can work it into my calorie goal for the day. I haven't yet had the craving survive the 1 mile round trip walk. :)
    Agreed! The same applies for me too. The minute I say no more fast foods then I want them more. I am giving up on saying no more fast foods. Just in moderation and not as often. If I do it this way then I don't binge on it when I decide to have it.
  • keepongoingnmw
    keepongoingnmw Posts: 371 Member
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    What I would do if I had a particular problem food would be to give it up completely for three weeks. Get my brain un-used to having it frequently, and then reintegrate it in moderated amounts after the three weeks. That way, you'll have learned to say no to the food in question, but can also have it on occasion.
    Great answer. Been working seriously on bingeing for the past two years. This is what I have found and learned unless you have an allergy or medical condition cutting out carat prices of food completely can lead to binging along with any over restrictive diets. There are some people this has worked for of course but I have only met two people who had success that lasted over 3 years completely cutting things like sweets or flour. I have met many people who lost large amounts of weight doing this only to slip up afte a year or two and gain it all back plus some. In some cases it was 100 plus pounds.
    I have had great success with "Beck Diet Solution" not a diet but has strategies and activities that help stay on any reasonable diet. Written by a psycogist. There is also a group here at MFP I invite you to look at and join.
  • ebayaddict0127
    ebayaddict0127 Posts: 523 Member
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    Everyone is different. If I give up something completely, I end up craving it and going nuts. I do best with moderation or allowing myself a cheat meal.
  • Solar07
    Solar07 Posts: 83 Member
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    First I want you to know how sorry I am for your loss.

    I found that I became addicted to something I never had before but bought it because I thought it was healthier ... Hazelnut spread/Nutella. I found myself eating it right out of the container. I now know I can't have it in my house. I personally think that you'll have to figure this one out for yourself. Some people are able to say good-bye to their addiction and not look back. Some can have it in small quantities. While others just make it fit into their life. For me, I'm going to just keep it out of my house, but if I really, really must have it, then I'll buy the snack size version. I refuse to deprive myself.

    Good luck and I know you'll do what is best for you. :flowerforyou:
  • JoanneC1216
    JoanneC1216 Posts: 166
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    First I want you to know how sorry I am for your loss.

    I found that I became addicted to something I never had before but bought it because I thought it was healthier ... Hazelnut spread/Nutella. I found myself eating it right out of the container. I now know I can't have it in my house. I personally think that you'll have to figure this one out for yourself. Some people are able to say good-bye to their addiction and not look back. Some can have it in small quantities. While others just make it fit into their life. For me, I'm going to just keep it out of my house, but if I really, really must have it, then I'll buy the snack size version. I refuse to deprive myself.

    Good luck and I know you'll do what is best for you. :flowerforyou:

    Can't have Nutella in my house. I will eat it all right out of the jar too. We grew up on that crap! My mother would give it to us as a sandwich for lunch. No wonder I am the way I am :wink:

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