My husband says he isn't attracted to skinny women
lemonsnowdrop
Posts: 1,298 Member
I'm sure you've heard this before. You're a bigger girl an insecure about your weight. Your husband reassures you by saying, "Honey, I don't like the way thin girls look." A lot of people think that's just to make you feel better, but my husband has dated primarily larger women/girls with some meat on their bones, and he's an attractive guy, so it's not like he can't land a size 0 model.
But what worries me is this: if I become skinny, and he's really not attracted to skinny women, what do I do?
But what worries me is this: if I become skinny, and he's really not attracted to skinny women, what do I do?
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Replies
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Have you asked him this?0
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I'm pretty sure he'll love you no matter what- my hubby says the same thing, and we've known each other and dated off and on since grade 8. He knew me at my smallest, and my largest, and I know that he loves me both ways. As long as I am happy.0
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He's your husband. I doubt he will honestly not find his wife attractive, just because she made a decision to be healthier and happier with herself. He should love you for you, not for how you look. Regardless of your size, you're still going to have that gorgeous smile I see in your profile picture. Don't stress. It'll all be fine. He loves YOU, all of you. Breathe, girly!
:flowerforyou: 0 -
He is your husband, he loves the woman you are... The skin you live in will change over the years but the substance remains unchanged.
I'm sure he will admire your determination and your fitness as you continue your journey!
I am a happier, more energetic and sociable lady since I've lost those excess pounds gained during pregnancy... The changes have been positive. Show me a man who doesn't like a secure and positive woman!0 -
The "right" answer is that he'll always be attracted to you, no matter how you look...
That being said, some men actually DO NOT care for thin ladies. As a former military guy, I personally witnessed many seemingly handsome, in shape sailors would date and/or marry women that were "larger" (for lack of a better term). Guys like what they like, and if that means a big booty then more power to them.
Personally, I'll take a fit chick any day!0 -
I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.
He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."
My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.
I'm sure that when you are where you feel happy that's what he'll notice.
The girls in Men's magazines are skinny sometimes too, but usually they like the girls with at least some meat! I've always said I'd rather have the body of a Penthouse girl than a Cosmo girl because men don't look at Cosmopolitan!!0 -
I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.
He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."
My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.
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A lot of guys like some feminine jiggle. They think it is sensual and sexy. Just do stuff to show that getting in better shape is still sexy and doesn't mean you have to lose all of your curves. Try looking up some stripper moves. They do stuff that is meant to show some jiggle on even trim girls. He won't be worried that your jeans are getting smaller, if it means you feel confident enough to give him private dances.
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i cant even.0
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I wouldn't worry, you can be thinner and still have curves
also he might be happy to watch you do squats...just sayin 0 -
I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.
He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."
My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.
I'm sure that when you are where you feel happy that's what he'll notice.
The girls in Men's magazines are skinny sometimes too, but usually they like the girls with at least some meat! I've always said I'd rather have the body of a Penthouse girl than a Cosmo girl because men don't look at Cosmopolitan!!
:huh:
I don't think comparing herself to airbrushed girls in a magazine is going to do anything to help the situation.
OP, you are lovely. Just have an open and honest conversation with your husband. He married you, he loves you and you both should be able to have this conversation without visual aids.0 -
My husband says the same thing...even though I was literally half the size I am now when I met him...but that was also before our 3 beautiful children...One who happens to be in college now.. I think we women have it all wrong..they just want us to like the way we look because when we are satisfied the whole household seems to function in a happier way... and a happy confident woman is always more attractive than a skinny hungry girl..0
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Clearly he's going to leave you. Your best bet is to not change and in fact do whatever is needed to make your physical appearance more in line with what he desires.0
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I think you need a visual reference. Get out a few magazines and ask him about the girls in them.
He may just mean "skinny" = "unhealthy."
My husband doesn't like "skinny" either. We watch Project Runway and he's making the skinny person jokes.
I'm sure that when you are where you feel happy that's what he'll notice.
The girls in Men's magazines are skinny sometimes too, but usually they like the girls with at least some meat! I've always said I'd rather have the body of a Penthouse girl than a Cosmo girl because men don't look at Cosmopolitan!!
:huh:
I don't think comparing herself to airbrushed girls in a magazine is going to do anything to help the situation.
OP, you are lovely. Just have an open and honest conversation with your husband. He married you, he loves you and you both should be able to have this conversation without visual aids.
Don't misunderstand. I didn't mean for her to steal his stash of Maxim and then go "oh I don't look like her..." It was simply a tool where they can both understand what he means when he says "skinny" even if it is an airbrushed photo in a magazine.0 -
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Men have different preferences and these threads invariably end up in body shaming of one type or another. Me? I adore my size 2 wife. Of course, I also adored her at size 4, 6, 8, and 10. Best of luck!0
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You don't have to be skinny to be healthy. Now if you want to be skinny and he doesn't find that attractive, then you'll need to decide which is more important: what you like in the mirror, or what he finds attractive. And the only right answer it the one that makes you happiest.0
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Hopefully the man you married love you for you, not just your shape.
Is he attracted to old women? Because you are going to be one some day. I'm sure you love him and you're smart and didn't marry some shallow dude who's only concern is a girl's appearance.
This reminded me of the poem "When You Are Old" by Yeats:
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
OP, I am going to hazard a guess here: I don't think it's going to prove to be a problem.0 -
Hopefully the man you married love you for you, not just your shape.
Is he attracted to old women? Because you are going to be one some day. I'm sure you love him and you're smart and didn't marry some shallow dude who's only concern is a girl's appearance.
This reminded me of the poem "When You Are Old" by Yeats:
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
OP, I am going to hazard a guess here: I don't think it's going to prove to be a problem.
That's a lovely poem.0 -
best not to take any chances. there is only one proper course of action
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some guys are chubby chasers. everyone has a type.
while the answer SHOULD be that this is your husband and you guys have made vows... sometimes it's not that simple. I think you two need to sit down and have a very serious, very open conversation. you want to lose weight, not your husband.
my dad was a chubby chaser and every time my mom tried to lose weight, he would sabotage it. IDK if he meant to or if it was a subconscious thing. I know that it pissed my mom off. I also know that it worked. every time. to the point that he's been gone for almost 20 years and she STILL can't lose weight past that point that he would always sabotage.
I think that having a talk first - letting him know what your goals are and asking him to support you and LISTEN to what he has to say in return. letting him know that you're honestly worried that you getting healthy might affect your marriage now might just save it later.0 -
LIES0
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LIES
Agreed.0 -
Uh this...i'm gonna go out on a limb and say he knows your getting fit and healthy. This will result in you getting thin, so how does he feel about that. I would be asking him.Have you asked him this?0 -
So...what do YOU want?0
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LIES
Agreed.
In to hear more about these lies men tell women. I'm intrigued.0 -
Not everyone's marriage is the same.
I'm here with 16 years of being with my best friend. I guess I know he's not going to leave me for some stupid Victoria's Secret model. How else am I supposed to EASILY grab references of body types and sit on the couch or at the table for an open conversation.
If she were my best friend that would be my advice to her. I'm (not) sorry some of you think I give bad advice. You don't have to take it.
But stop making me into some terrible person for trying to be helpful.0 -
Is not skinny code for - he likes girls with big boobs and a butt? If so you can lose weight and still keep those assets (see what did there). Take up weight lifting to help keep what goods you've got.0
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My husband is the same. He has always dated woman a bit on the thicker side. BUT I can tell he has enjoyed the weight I've lost just as much as I have. I think, now I may be wrong, that when they say skinny they mean underweight and what they are attracted to is curves.0
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