Call to All Females- Please Listen.

miss_jessiejane

mccindy72

Don't forget about the boys. I can tell you as the mother of a young man who, back when he was 11 or 12, came to me and said he was fat and would have to stop eating. It took a lot of work and patience to get him through that. Boys and men can suffer just as much as we females can.

crystalflame

I'm going to make an extra effort to focus on the positives of myself this week. Thanks for this.

first01

this........ thank you for posting it. So nice to read a woman buidling other women up instead of taring them down which is usually the case on this site

BikerGirlElaine

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

tallieterp

great to bring awareness and share your story! just want to also mention eating disorders that go the other way in regards to binging and food addictions. While they might not be as recognized as those we know well, they still can be very damaging and may often morph later into disorders at the other extreme such as anorexia etc. The spectrum is broad and it is good to know that awareness is happening! so glad to hear you are healthy

xiamjackie

Glad to see so many women thinking positively I in no way condone ED and if you do friend me, be aware that I do tell the truth. If you admit to not hitting your calories for a day and feeling good about it, I won't let you get away with it. Or, if you post about how ugly and fat you are, I definitely will not respond with, "no you're skinny and beautiful!" I go the tough love way- compliments don't always work for ED soldiers, they didn't work for me. Instead, I had to have people tell me the dangers of what I was doing and how building my own confidence would help me in the future.

And to a few posters- I did address in my original post that ED does affect males. I just also said I was specifically going to address females because of my own personal experience.

Cranquistador

:flowerforyou:

fannyfrost

You mentioned girls as young as 6 or 7. Yes and it is amazing how the outside influences can be. My daughter who is now 19 and struggles to keep weight on because she is naturally thin and has stomach issues, started hearing it really early. Although eating disorders are usually about being thin, here is something people forget about.

Age 2 - Dr asks "does she eat" why yes she ate 3/4 of a hamburger on the way over here, but her favorite foods are broccoli and salad (no dressing)
Age 7 - friend tells her she is too skinny
Age 7 - Second grade teacher scrutinizing snacks and kids diets telling them to eat healthy but won't allow my daughter to have chocolate milk, tells her to bring juice. Also rewarded the kids with yankee doodle cakes but no candy or cake allowed for snack?
Age 8 - She is checking nutrition labels for fat content (learned at school)
Age 10 - she is in the elevator with 2 friends and one mom who says that her daughter is fat, the third girl is perfect and my kid is too skinny
Age 11 - she is asked at a BBQ how to lose weight by a kid 2 years older, my daughters plate 1/2 veggies the other girls hotdog and chips no veggies
Age 14 - I have a fat stomach
Age 15 she is a dancer the teacher tells them they are all fat
Age 16 dance teacher says I am sick of bellies that hang over booty shorts and jiggly thighs
Age 17 - She loses 1 lb and goes in her room hysterical crying, same dance teacher also comments on how her measurements went down

Fast forward to today, she is vegan for health reasons and her stomach problems are so much better, but she is 5'4" and only 102 lbs. I worry, but I know she is eating and trying to eat more. I am more concerned about muscle and being healthy. I have struggled with weight and sometimes say I am fat, but I wear shorts and a bathing suit every summer. I point out that I want to lose weight the healthy way, eating good food and I have always worked out.

When daughter was real little I told her you need to eat veggies before you can have junk food because Veggies help you grow big, but cookies will keep you small. We need to change the messages that are out there overall. Its not just our moms that do it to us, or our dads, its all those teachers and other kids who have moms making stupid comments.

FYI, my daughter is seeing a counselor at school and has a plan to get an on campus apartment next year so she will have a kitchen and can cook herself better food.

I know many of you will say "your daughter is so lucky she is thin" but she battles with food too. One day she was fat, the next day too skinny, she didn't even know how to handle the messages that the world gave her. She is finally getting to a place where she can feel good about her body again, that is really the heart of the problem, we don't feel good about our bodies.

kshadows

Love this!!!

I have a daughter who is much too young to understand these things but my 5 year old son has heard WAY too much from my sister who has suffered an eating disorder. Luckily I am good at balancing and I never eat something different just because I feel the need to. Food = energy and that's what I teach my kiddos!!

Thank you for posting!

ImpishVanity

Well said.

GymAnJuice

:flowerforyou:

FitForRiding

So True!!!
I have two daughters, two granddaughters and have worked with young girls. The message is to eat healthy and be fit! We all have different body types, that's what makes us unique.
My pet peeve is when someone asks me what I weigh and they don't believe it, because it's more than they expect or as I am gaining muscle/losing inches they ask the same question...ugh!! Some people will never get it!!!! ????????

tinglesby

thanks for this post. I have an 11 year old daughter. Even tho i am working towards my goal weight, I am trying to maintain a positive body image so she will know that its all about being heathy in yourself, not what the world/society wants. thank you for a great post. :flowerforyou:

CallMeBacon

So well said, thank you for posting this. From a girl who was dragged to weight watchers by her mother at the ripe ol' age of 11.. thank you. :flowerforyou:

xiamjackie

You mentioned girls as young as 6 or 7. Yes and it is amazing how the outside influences can be. My daughter who is now 19 and struggles to keep weight on because she is naturally thin and has stomach issues, started hearing it really early. Although eating disorders are usually about being thin, here is something people forget about.

Age 2 - Dr asks "does she eat" why yes she ate 3/4 of a hamburger on the way over here, but her favorite foods are broccoli and salad (no dressing)
Age 7 - friend tells her she is too skinny
Age 7 - Second grade teacher scrutinizing snacks and kids diets telling them to eat healthy but won't allow my daughter to have chocolate milk, tells her to bring juice. Also rewarded the kids with yankee doodle cakes but no candy or cake allowed for snack?
Age 8 - She is checking nutrition labels for fat content (learned at school)
Age 10 - she is in the elevator with 2 friends and one mom who says that her daughter is fat, the third girl is perfect and my kid is too skinny
Age 11 - she is asked at a BBQ how to lose weight by a kid 2 years older, my daughters plate 1/2 veggies the other girls hotdog and chips no veggies
Age 14 - I have a fat stomach
Age 15 she is a dancer the teacher tells them they are all fat
Age 16 dance teacher says I am sick of bellies that hang over booty shorts and jiggly thighs
Age 17 - She loses 1 lb and goes in her room hysterical crying, same dance teacher also comments on how her measurements went down

Fast forward to today, she is vegan for health reasons and her stomach problems are so much better, but she is 5'4" and only 102 lbs. I worry, but I know she is eating and trying to eat more. I am more concerned about muscle and being healthy. I have struggled with weight and sometimes say I am fat, but I wear shorts and a bathing suit every summer. I point out that I want to lose weight the healthy way, eating good food and I have always worked out.

When daughter was real little I told her you need to eat veggies before you can have junk food because Veggies help you grow big, but cookies will keep you small. We need to change the messages that are out there overall. Its not just our moms that do it to us, or our dads, its all those teachers and other kids who have moms making stupid comments.

FYI, my daughter is seeing a counselor at school and has a plan to get an on campus apartment next year so she will have a kitchen and can cook herself better food.

I know many of you will say "your daughter is so lucky she is thin" but she battles with food too. One day she was fat, the next day too skinny, she didn't even know how to handle the messages that the world gave her. She is finally getting to a place where she can feel good about her body again, that is really the heart of the problem, we don't feel good about our bodies.

I agree, the overall message I was sending was to be confident in yourself no matter what you look like. If you are skinny, medium, large, tall, short, etc. I got made fun of (and still do) alllllllll the time for being really short. Can't change it, so I accept it and embrace it. My cousin has a similar story to your daughter's. She has always been around 90 pounds but eats a very balanced diet and actually doesn't exercise at all. She was always made fun of and called "anorexic" by people who didn't know her. Anorexia is not a descriptor, it's a disease. She was not anorexic. It shouldn't be thrown around like that.

The overall message we need to be teaching youth is to be confident and love yourself no matter what height, shape, color you are. We also need to teach them to be overall healthy. HEALTH is important, not the way you look. Is it healthy to be 300 pounds? No, but it's good to at least be confident and love yourself at 300 pounds. Is it healthy to be 120 pounds but absolutely hate looking in the mirror and despising the way you look in jeans? No, still not healthy. Mental health is just as important, if not more-so than physical health. No matter what we look like, we need to be promoting healthy habits and choices for the youth in our lives.

angdpowers

Amen sister!!
Thank you for posting this! So many are unaware of HOW MANY women (and men) deal with this.

It truly can be DEVESTATING and unnecessary to go through life living this way.

My birth mother withheld food from me for months and months ... I got one slimfast a day ... that was it. Wasn't even allowed to eat at school. Was constantly told "I don't want to have a fat daughter." Developed a cycle of binging when I would stay the night at a friends out which I tried to do often and then would feel so guilty for practically stealing their food in the middle of the night. But those things, how you are raised, what you see, experience etc ... affect you forever! I have overcome it all but sometimes that urge to binge or to see yourself in a negative light is deep down in there somewhere.

I would NEVER do this to my daughter and Im with you, little girls are so impressionable. Even if you don't SAY anything to them, they are watching you ... all women ... like hawks and learning more than we realize.

I truly believe this can be changed in younger generations.

christa279

this post! I have struggled with body image for as long as I can remember. Sometimes the most innocent comments can have the biggest impact. As a child, it was adults making comments about my sister and friend being so thin and being able to wear the "cute clothes". I wasn't overweight, I just carried my weight different then them but those comments made me think I was fat.

As I got older, I was athletic and in gymnastics. I had thick thighs and a booty. There was a boy that called me "thunder thighs".

It took awhile, but now at 35 years old I am starting to love my body and learning to appreciate what it can do. I want to send that same message to my kids, my nieces, etc. I don't even know if kids are learning this stuff younger, or if we are just starting to pay more attention.

cpiton

Excellent post. Thanks :flowerforyou:

Graelwyn75

Couldn't agree more, and great post.

It is also close to my heart, as I started dieting at 13, and rapidly spiraled into anorexia, reaching 72Ibs at 5'11 when I was 18. I never received any treatment beyond seeing my gp once a week, who simply told my parents I had 24 hours to live. But, I am still alive 20 years on, have had a few relapses with both anorexia and bulimia, but have come to a place where it does not control my life as it once did, because I changed my focus over to fitness and getting decent nutrition. I don't know it ever totally goes away. I think most who have suffered an ED will always find a little bit of it lingers, especially when under stress. But I do believe that it can be fought back against and that most can find a place where they are more at peace with food and their weight.

One never knows the story behind each person's eating disorder. For me, having been abused as a child, and having felt pressured to achieve highly academically, it was a control thing, as well as an obsessional focus with numbers, more than anything to do with my physical appearance. Here is hoping that one day, the pressure will be taken off young men and women, and that all those suffering in the meanwhile, find the help that they need to recover. Far too many young lives going to waste with this.