Call to All Females- Please Listen.
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Well said.0
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:flowerforyou: 0 -
So True!!!
I have two daughters, two granddaughters and have worked with young girls. The message is to eat healthy and be fit! We all have different body types, that's what makes us unique.
My pet peeve is when someone asks me what I weigh and they don't believe it, because it's more than they expect or as I am gaining muscle/losing inches they ask the same question...ugh!! Some people will never get it!!!! ????????0 -
thanks for this post. I have an 11 year old daughter. Even tho i am working towards my goal weight, I am trying to maintain a positive body image so she will know that its all about being heathy in yourself, not what the world/society wants. thank you for a great post. :flowerforyou:0
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So well said, thank you for posting this. From a girl who was dragged to weight watchers by her mother at the ripe ol' age of 11.. thank you. :flowerforyou:0
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You mentioned girls as young as 6 or 7. Yes and it is amazing how the outside influences can be. My daughter who is now 19 and struggles to keep weight on because she is naturally thin and has stomach issues, started hearing it really early. Although eating disorders are usually about being thin, here is something people forget about.
Age 2 - Dr asks "does she eat" why yes she ate 3/4 of a hamburger on the way over here, but her favorite foods are broccoli and salad (no dressing)
Age 7 - friend tells her she is too skinny
Age 7 - Second grade teacher scrutinizing snacks and kids diets telling them to eat healthy but won't allow my daughter to have chocolate milk, tells her to bring juice. Also rewarded the kids with yankee doodle cakes but no candy or cake allowed for snack?
Age 8 - She is checking nutrition labels for fat content (learned at school)
Age 10 - she is in the elevator with 2 friends and one mom who says that her daughter is fat, the third girl is perfect and my kid is too skinny
Age 11 - she is asked at a BBQ how to lose weight by a kid 2 years older, my daughters plate 1/2 veggies the other girls hotdog and chips no veggies
Age 14 - I have a fat stomach
Age 15 she is a dancer the teacher tells them they are all fat
Age 16 dance teacher says I am sick of bellies that hang over booty shorts and jiggly thighs
Age 17 - She loses 1 lb and goes in her room hysterical crying, same dance teacher also comments on how her measurements went down
Fast forward to today, she is vegan for health reasons and her stomach problems are so much better, but she is 5'4" and only 102 lbs. I worry, but I know she is eating and trying to eat more. I am more concerned about muscle and being healthy. I have struggled with weight and sometimes say I am fat, but I wear shorts and a bathing suit every summer. I point out that I want to lose weight the healthy way, eating good food and I have always worked out.
When daughter was real little I told her you need to eat veggies before you can have junk food because Veggies help you grow big, but cookies will keep you small. We need to change the messages that are out there overall. Its not just our moms that do it to us, or our dads, its all those teachers and other kids who have moms making stupid comments.
FYI, my daughter is seeing a counselor at school and has a plan to get an on campus apartment next year so she will have a kitchen and can cook herself better food.
I know many of you will say "your daughter is so lucky she is thin" but she battles with food too. One day she was fat, the next day too skinny, she didn't even know how to handle the messages that the world gave her. She is finally getting to a place where she can feel good about her body again, that is really the heart of the problem, we don't feel good about our bodies.
I agree, the overall message I was sending was to be confident in yourself no matter what you look like. If you are skinny, medium, large, tall, short, etc. I got made fun of (and still do) alllllllll the time for being really short. Can't change it, so I accept it and embrace it. My cousin has a similar story to your daughter's. She has always been around 90 pounds but eats a very balanced diet and actually doesn't exercise at all. She was always made fun of and called "anorexic" by people who didn't know her. Anorexia is not a descriptor, it's a disease. She was not anorexic. It shouldn't be thrown around like that.
The overall message we need to be teaching youth is to be confident and love yourself no matter what height, shape, color you are. We also need to teach them to be overall healthy. HEALTH is important, not the way you look. Is it healthy to be 300 pounds? No, but it's good to at least be confident and love yourself at 300 pounds. Is it healthy to be 120 pounds but absolutely hate looking in the mirror and despising the way you look in jeans? No, still not healthy. Mental health is just as important, if not more-so than physical health. No matter what we look like, we need to be promoting healthy habits and choices for the youth in our lives.0 -
Amen sister!!
Thank you for posting this! So many are unaware of HOW MANY women (and men) deal with this.
It truly can be DEVESTATING and unnecessary to go through life living this way.
My birth mother withheld food from me for months and months ... I got one slimfast a day ... that was it. Wasn't even allowed to eat at school. Was constantly told "I don't want to have a fat daughter." Developed a cycle of binging when I would stay the night at a friends out which I tried to do often and then would feel so guilty for practically stealing their food in the middle of the night. But those things, how you are raised, what you see, experience etc ... affect you forever! I have overcome it all but sometimes that urge to binge or to see yourself in a negative light is deep down in there somewhere.
I would NEVER do this to my daughter and Im with you, little girls are so impressionable. Even if you don't SAY anything to them, they are watching you ... all women ... like hawks and learning more than we realize.
I truly believe this can be changed in younger generations.0 -
this post! I have struggled with body image for as long as I can remember. Sometimes the most innocent comments can have the biggest impact. As a child, it was adults making comments about my sister and friend being so thin and being able to wear the "cute clothes". I wasn't overweight, I just carried my weight different then them but those comments made me think I was fat.
As I got older, I was athletic and in gymnastics. I had thick thighs and a booty. There was a boy that called me "thunder thighs".
It took awhile, but now at 35 years old I am starting to love my body and learning to appreciate what it can do. I want to send that same message to my kids, my nieces, etc. I don't even know if kids are learning this stuff younger, or if we are just starting to pay more attention.0 -
Excellent post. Thanks :flowerforyou:0
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Couldn't agree more, and great post.
It is also close to my heart, as I started dieting at 13, and rapidly spiraled into anorexia, reaching 72Ibs at 5'11 when I was 18. I never received any treatment beyond seeing my gp once a week, who simply told my parents I had 24 hours to live. But, I am still alive 20 years on, have had a few relapses with both anorexia and bulimia, but have come to a place where it does not control my life as it once did, because I changed my focus over to fitness and getting decent nutrition. I don't know it ever totally goes away. I think most who have suffered an ED will always find a little bit of it lingers, especially when under stress. But I do believe that it can be fought back against and that most can find a place where they are more at peace with food and their weight.
One never knows the story behind each person's eating disorder. For me, having been abused as a child, and having felt pressured to achieve highly academically, it was a control thing, as well as an obsessional focus with numbers, more than anything to do with my physical appearance. Here is hoping that one day, the pressure will be taken off young men and women, and that all those suffering in the meanwhile, find the help that they need to recover. Far too many young lives going to waste with this.0 -
Excellent post!0
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Cheers! :drinker: :flowerforyou:0
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Well said! I never made the connection between my mother's self-image and my own. It makes complete sense..0
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Very nice.
That is one of the worst things a mother could do to her child.0 -
Well said!!0
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Just posting this here for reference:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/information-referral-helpline0 -
Love this. Like many have said, sometimes the smallest comments can have such a big impact. Luckily, I never struggled with an eating disorder, but have certainly struggled with body image since as far back as I can remember.
My best friend growing up was very naturally thin. I was thin too, but have a more athletic frame. My mom would always comment on how my friend was just so so skinny. In my 8 year old mind, skinny was good! I didn't know why my mom didn't think I was skinny too. I understand now what she meant, but even just those offhand remarks made me question my body and feel inferior. It's always good to remember how impressionable young people are and how they soak up more than we often realize!0 -
Love this post. Thank you
Sx0 -
Great post!
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It's not something to be taken lightly! There is a difference between "bad habits" and an eating disorder!!! My mom too had an eating disorder - I never saw the woman eat anything other than fish, chicken and salad, all the meanwhile cooking fabulous dinners and baked goods for hours on end -- and making us drink a HUGE glass of water before dinner so we didn't eat too much, but them we better eat everything on our plates...:huh:
I became food OBSESSED and had a total compulsive eating disorder, while my younger sister became bulemic.
Mental eating disorders need HELP - it's not a simple matter of "eat this, not that" or "will-power" -- but the good news is that they can be overcome! Thanks for posting!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Beautifully said 0
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thank you for spreading this message. my first 'diet' was when I was 11...I hit puberty in 5th grade, had to start wearing a bra before many of my peers, and started my period the summer btwn 5th and 6th. up until puberty, I had been what my pediatrician called a 'slenderweight', not underweight, but at the lower end of normal. in 6th grade, i was wearing a juniors size 5. I was bullied already for everything under the sun and I hated my changing body so I did the only thing I knew to try to exert some control and so began my lifelong struggle with self-acceptance. even in kindergarten, there was a certain dress I wouldn't wear b/c it made me look fat. ridiculous.0
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:flowerforyou:
Thanks for this! This hits home to SO many women, young and old. It's a really important message.0 -
I have had problems with food my entire life and still doo
trying really hard to fix it right now & its so damn hard & scary
nice post op0 -
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Great post on a very important topic.
I found out my 11 yr old was skipping meals for a time because (she said) someone told her she was fat. As a swimmer, she's spends 4 nights/wk, 6 mo./year in the pool, and is pretty active in the off season. It scared me to death.0 -
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It's really hard when you have kids. My 7-year-old daughter is NOT fat. But she is apparently "bigger" or "wider" than most of the girls her height (or at least it seems so due to the way jeans fit her). We had to try on many different brands of jeans before finding some that fit and weren't terribly long. Her younger sister is the opposite. It's a struggle. The older one doesn't seem upset over her size and I hope she isn't and doesn't become so.0
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Thank you so much for posting this.
My daughter is 8 and very aware of everything I say or do. I'm trying to phrase all of my weight loss efforts as an attempt to be healthier and not as an attempt to be be skinnier (not that my body has ever seen skinny!) We talk about making good food choices, being active and how it's better to be fit than skinny.0 -
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