Friends say I am too skinny now

AvengersMom

I know. First world problems right ????

AvengersMom

Clearly you care lol!

taya919

Who cares what people think? People would tell me the same thing when I reached my goal weight of 160 lbs. At 5"8 that is NOT a bony or skinny girl at all.

When people tell you that you are too skinny, just smile and say "I'm sorry you feel that way but I love the way I look". That will cut them off really fast.

SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222

I should start by saying that when I was a kid and teenager I was really small. I was 18 before I went over 100 pounds and I'm only 5'2. Life happened and my normal resting weight was between 140 and 150 in my mid twenties. People snickered but no one called me "fat" to my face. Then through my second pregnancy I gained a ton of weight. After having my baby I was miserable at 185. Then I decided to change my life. I started working out and eating healthy. I joined my fitness pal at about 165 pounds. One year later I'm now 107 and the best shape of my life. I do a ton of cardio and weights and feel great. Problem is, people are now saying I'm "too skinny" and a good friend told me it looked like I was a cancer patient. Seriously. The profile pic of me is about 10 pounds ago but I look pretty much the same. I don't want to lose anymore weight, just keep toning and maintaining. How do you deal with the constant criticism. No one had anything to say when I was big, how is it ok to tear me down now that I'm fit?

i guarentee that you dont look pretty much the same if the profile pic was 10 lbs ago and you are 5'2" - be careful - weight loss can be addicting and i was once "too skinny" I still thought I could lose 10 lbs...turns out everyone was right and I looked like skeletor.

em1773

I see your profile pic and you look great. For being 5'2, 107 is a perfectly normal weight. Most likely, they are just upset with their own bodies, or are just worried because of the rate and amount of your loss, not necessarily your current state. You look great, and if you feel good, that's what matters.

gk03ub

There is a term used to describe this type of behaviour: Jealousy.

BurnBabyyyBurn

Don't listen to them. You look great! You're petite and for your frame, that weight is just fine. Plus, weight is just a number right? So as long as you're happy and healthy, you shouldn't worry. A lot of your friends can be jealous and I bet they are not fit.

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

imagine the comments don't even exist

BurnBabyyyBurn

Girls compete - WOMEN Empower.

As long as you are healthy - eating right and getting active - people have to realize that everyone is different. Congratulations on your hard work and determination. inspiring!! Great job getting fit and being who you want to be, and being healthy and active for your kids.

"Girls compete, women empower"

I love that quote. So true!!!

Quasita

Here's a possible new perspective:
I've not always been fat, but most of the people in my life nowadays have only known me as rotund, squishy, whatever they might call it.
It is impossible for them to envision me as a smaller person. When I started losing at a level where they could actually see the weight leaving my face and body, some of them were uncomfortable looking at me. It's not because they can't understand that it's good or important or what I want, but rather that I simply do not look like the person they met and grew to love.

Just like when we partner up, and then a partner gains a lot of weight and we experience feelings of changing attraction and interest, such can happen with lost weight. We don't recognize the person in the comforting way we've grown accustomed to.

These things all have an adjustment period. I'm sure that it's more you look that way to them after them knowing you at a heavier weight.

I do think it's pretty terrible when people equate it to things like cancer patients. Those patients are so sickly and hurting so much, I don't think they should be casually equated to fat-gone-thin people. It's simply not the same thing... Unless you want to say, it's like fat was your cancer, diet and exercise your chemo and radiation, and you've reached remission, and hopefully your cure.

Have patience with them, as the words are likely rooted in love, if they are coming from people like your best friend.

suremeansyes

My husband is 5'10" and 165ish pounds, and he was also getting the "cancer patient" remarks after losing 100 pounds. I am trying to lose 10-15 pounds and it gets kind of discouraging when people ask why.

I'm 5'2", 145 pounds...I can stand to drop a few.

Quasita

Additionally... I think it's pretty cruddy to assume that everyone is "just jealous" or whatever when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, that's a pretty narcissistic attitude to take on.

Fact is, if they really do think you look too skinny, they aren't jealous. They are concerned. They are not saying "oh dang, I wish I looked like that" if they think you look like you're dying.

So if the comments bother you, ask them about it. Ask if they are giving you a hard time, or if they are truly concerned. Have an open mind and some perspective. Other people see things about us that we cannot.

AmyZ46

I'm starting to get this A LOT now. I'm 5'6"ish and 164, so it's not like I'm even "skinny" yet. Still 14 lbs from goal. But I'm getting tons of comments that I don't need to lose any more weight, I'm getting skinny, whatever. I finally figured out that the vast majority of these comments are coming from people who have only known me as fat. So I'm guessing it's just the shock of seeing "skinny" Jules as opposed to fat Jules they're used to.

Whatever. People can have their opinions. As long as you know yourself and know your body and are happy with both, that's all that matters.

This happens to me too, I am 5'3" and started at 270lbs, now at 188lbs and people can't believe I want to lose more. Um hello, how can I be done at 188lbs at 5'3". SMH
People are just weird is all lol, as long as you are healthy and fit all is good! You look great btw. :drinker:

wow we are almost twins at starting weight and height !!

I get that too , people will say I hope you aren't planning on losing much more -this started at 200 lbs . I was like yes I am since I weigh 200 lbs I will lose at least 50 more and reevaluate .....

It's crazy but I know how huge I looked so I guess I look normal now compared to that ?
I'm in a 14 now - just think what they are going to say when I'm rocking a 6 ? which is my dream size :bigsmile:

angelo620

You look great. Keep it up.

Quasita

Yep i know the feeling, Ive been getting this mostly from family members recently
I still dont know what to make of their comments because i think some of it is that there are not used to seeing me small because i was overweight for so long
Just last night my brother turned to me in the gym and said you wouldnt want to lose anymore, we wont be able to see you
I shrugged it off, but then he continued to say go away and eat a potatoe now that did bother me because i DO eat

my boyfriend has also said he thinks ive lost too much and i would look better if i put on some weight

I honestly dont see what they are referring to i think i look fine and definitely not too skinny , yes granted i wouldnt mind having a bit more shape esp in the glute area but im working on that

Do i just put it down to them not being used to seeing me small?

Unfortunately, your boyfriend's comments are probably valid and addressing his changing attraction levels to your new body. Hopefully he'll learn to adjust... But if you were a heavy person, and lost so much that you've lost your curves, he probably feels conflicted. Obviously, he started dating you when you were bigger, and may prefer the curvier women. This is not to say you should put on weight or change your goals... it's more to say that there may be some relationship fallout.

SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222

Additionally... I think it's pretty cruddy to assume that everyone is "just jealous" or whatever when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, that's a pretty narcissistic attitude to take on.

Fact is, if they really do think you look too skinny, they aren't jealous. They are concerned. They are not saying "oh dang, I wish I looked like that" if they think you look like you're dying.

So if the comments bother you, ask them about it. Ask if they are giving you a hard time, or if they are truly concerned. Have an open mind and some perspective. Other people see things about us that we cannot.

Amen, when people used to tell me this they were NOT jealous and i looked half dead and it doesnt help that I am also extremely pale naturally.... so yea... "ignore the haters" doesn't necesarily apply here and espeically if these are your friends who are supposed to love and care about you.

2014myyear

I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile). Her response oh sorry i just said it cos im jealous i didnt mean anything by it. People are thick, and they are jealous and some just like to tear down other people anyway they can. My son is short and he gets the oh your so little, Ive told him to say "i may be little but i will grow, aint much you can do about your face". Listen to those who love you for you. Those that really are concerned for your well being, mental and physical and listen to yourself. The rest tell them to go f**k themselves.

Serah87

I get the same, "your to skinny, stop losing weight, your going to disappear", all the time!! :grumble:

I am also 5'2 and 11 pounds away from my goal, 110 pounds.

Op- you look great!! Ignore them, that's what I do now. :flowerforyou:

paulawatkins1974

I Cannot WAIT Until I'm at the place where people begin to tell me I'm too skinny! I have vowed to kiss the very first person who says that (and means it) :laugh: Try that next time you may freak them out so much they will shut up lol!

Rien5

I got the "you're super skinny" and "Don't lose any more weight" comments a lot last year but haven't gotten them at all this year and I only gained 2lb! I just smile and walk away. Some people have actually said they were jealous of me in which case I commented them on something about their appearance that wasn't weight related. I kind of like/hate the weight related comments. Like because I want to feel good about myself and hate it because weight should not define a person.

kdiamond

Agreed, it's called jealousy because you certainly don't look super skinny, you look great. I used to get it a lot after I lost a ton of weight too. Now that I've maintained that same weight for 10 years I don't hear it anymore. Lol

obieguru

I would just ignore these people. Its simply jealousy because you've done something they cant. You look fantastic & should be proud of your efforts.
The most important thing is that your Happy with the way you look & feel.

dmpizza

Your friends are jealous. You look great.

charleigh78

Are they people that only knew you as over weight? If so then it is just an adjustment for them mentally. Just smile and don't worry about it. Eventually they will forget what the old you even looked like

chani8

I'm also 5'2" and under 100, and I don't think I look too skinny. You look great in your photo and I bet you look awesome now! The fact that you are working out and lifting means you are focusing on strength and fitness, and that's what counts!

ModernNerd

Best approach I've found is to ignore the comments. If you're happy with where you're at physically, then you don't need to justify that to others :flowerforyou: I get a lot of those comments too, "I can't hug you, you'll break," "why are you eating salad again?", "you must be anorexic if you feel the need to go to the gym-you're already thin," "you're obsessed," "you're becoming bony," the list goes on. Actually a girl I long considered my closest friend was the most vicious, and I finally realized she was simply acting out her own insecurities with her figure. So people voice comments like that for a variety of reasons, and chances are they aren't actually reflective of you personally.

Keep doin' yo thang OP, you look great :happy:

KimiSteinbach

I have a friend whose stepdaughter has brought up the fact that her mom refers to her as "skinny *****" and the stepdaughter is actually starting to call my friend it in joking.

She said the next time it happens, she's going to refer to her mother as a fat ***** and that it's one's choice to be fat or skinny. Her mother is fat because of what she eats and how much.

For some reason it seems more socially acceptable to call women skinny *****es.

Skinny *****es need to fight back! Stop them in their tracks!!!

TAKE THAT!

KimiSteinbach

I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile). Her response oh sorry i just said it cos im jealous i didnt mean anything by it. People are thick, and they are jealous and some just like to tear down other people anyway they can. My son is short and he gets the oh your so little, Ive told him to say "i may be little but i will grow, aint much you can do about your face". Listen to those who love you for you. Those that really are concerned for your well being, mental and physical and listen to yourself. The rest tell them to go f**k themselves.

EXACTLY! You stopped her in her tracks!

lyzmorrison

KimiSteinbach

FREAKING EXCELLENT!