Friends say I am too skinny now

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Replies

  • Cath_Taylor
    Cath_Taylor Posts: 104 Member
    Hey I've been a cancer patient & was very sick and I can tell you skinny was not one of the things I was at that time. Why not I hear you ask..?! Steroids. Chemotherapy is administered usually with steroids (something to do with getting the drugs across the blood/brain barrier) so you know... not all cancer patients are alike. I started out pretty slim (think I was around 165) and ballooned up to 210 - ya and that was with vomiting everyday due to the effects of the drugs.

    Your friends know buggerall and you have my permission to tell them so. You look just right to me :smile:
  • jelaine034
    jelaine034 Posts: 1
    I dealt with the same thing and it IS frustrating! I think a lot of it is that your friends and family aren't used to seeing you so much more thin than you used to be. For me, I was overweight most of my life, so my family had years and years of knowing me as I looked then and had a hard time shedding that expectation. They are supportive, but I still get the occasional 'you're too skinny'. Its frustrating because I was so used to listening to "society" tell me I was too fat and now I was being told I was too skinny. I just can't win! But I came to the realization that I am happy with myself and as long as I am healthy and eat well and exercise, that's all that matters. Just own it and feel good about yourself and they'll get over it!
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    Well, I won the "too skinny?" award yesterday! Wee!

    My fitness instructor commented that I'd lost a lot of weight but she looked concerned about it. I had to emphasize that I WASN'T trying to lose any more weight.

    She also asked about stress (a little) and whether I was happy where I was at (....I am).

    It just made me feel kind of bad. Almost like I had done something wrong. :frown: I guess given that I just recently hit my goal and I'm not losing any more, hopefully she won't worry. I also had on a baggy big t-shirt so maybe that emphasized my chicken legs.

    Trust me, she wouldn't be jealous. She's skinny as a rail, thinner than I will ever be (and I'm fine with that.) I may have also had a hard time reading her because she's British, I'm American, sometimes I don't always understand nuances. My only guess is that being in fitness, she's probably encountered her share of people with eating disorders.

    I'm about 5' 8", 145. Normal BMI, toned and happy with my body, but that just made me feel a little bad. It brought back memories when I DID get too thin in college, but back then I didn't know limits as much and lost my periods, but now I know when to stop.
  • huneydrop
    huneydrop Posts: 84
    I hope to have this problem one day lol.
    This reminds me of the skinny girls in the gym locker room in high school examining their bodies and complaining to everyone how "gross" and "fat" they were...... While the rest of us just rolled our eyes.
    Society views thin and super thin women in a positive light so when people say these things to you they are not be malicious. Unless you truly are anorexic or something then they may genuinely be concerned.
    On the other hand no one says "you're too fat" without it being malicious (ok maybe your dr or mom) and society does not accept fat people. You can't compare the two situations, apples to carrot sticks lol
    I think this is prime example of a first world problem.
    And I truly mean no disrespect with my post, I don't think people should be making these comments but since they do I'm just trying to explain that it is not meant to be malicious and more times than not it is a compliment (again, society values thin) so don't get your panties in a bunch, smile, and change the subject, they will stop talking about it.
  • Bezron
    Bezron Posts: 4 Member
    It's either down to jealousy or the fact that so many people are overweight now that others think it's the norm.
  • huneydrop
    huneydrop Posts: 84
    20 bucks says its jealousy.

    if you're happy with the way you look, tell them to piss off or that you'll find new friends. -fin-

    Yes! Tell them they're just jealous and that will shut them down, guaranteed. Most of the time they probably are.
  • BelsFitnessJourney
    BelsFitnessJourney Posts: 29
    As long as you are happy with the way you look and YOU feel fantastic that's all that matters.

    I get told i'm too skinny too but i don't let it affect me anymore, i'm happy with my body and proud of the way I look and the way I fuel my body.

    Your happiness is all that matters :)
  • MickeyCastello
    MickeyCastello Posts: 269

    Funny how the same people weren't as concerned for my health when I was obese.

    I never thought of this, but it's a very good point.
  • 2014FitnessJourney
    2014FitnessJourney Posts: 13
    People will always criticize, especially those who aren't happy with themselves. So screw them. Do you.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    I deal with it a lot, as well, my friends always made fun of me for being fat (they were fat too) And now they criticize me for not exercising correctly or eating right, when they don't do either. They make comments as "When I was thin, I did this, your not doing it right." While they currently weigh 300 pounds. I just think that they know themselves they are not doing anything and find someone else to bash on. It really sucks, it does....But there are just some people that are like that. I've noticed my thinner friends aren't so critical about it at all as compared to my chubbier friends, so I'd say its something in the form of jealously. They wish they could say they were doing it too, but they aren't, so they tell you how you are doing it wrong to feel better.
  • RunningMomNJ
    RunningMomNJ Posts: 6
    Congratulations to you!! Be proud of your accomplishment and don't let the negative comments bring you down. Comments may come out of jealousy. What you have done is not easy to do. If it were easy, everyone would be fit and in shape!! Brush it off and know that what you have done is healthy for you and has added years to your life. Enjoy!
  • RunningMomNJ
    RunningMomNJ Posts: 6
    Absolutely!!
  • ashleysarvi
    ashleysarvi Posts: 66
    I think you look great and you should ignore everyone. I weigh 142 now and when I started this "journey" I was apporx 150 and people tell me the same thing that im too skinny and im loosing too much weight. I think a bit is jealousy, just my opinion.
  • ffhsanfran
    ffhsanfran Posts: 63 Member
    And your doctor says what? Friends are friends. For health matters, listen to your physician first.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    people suck and opinions are like *kitten*-everyone has one.....
  • fificrazy
    fificrazy Posts: 234
    Thing is, you could be underweight for YOUR body type (regardless of what the BMI charts may say). As long as you're eating the standard non-restrictive amount (2,500 calories), then don't worry about it. But if you're ignoring hunger cues, cutting out groups of food, having to partake in a ridiculous amounts of exercise, etc just to maintain where you are now, that's incredibly damaging for your body. And it CAN show in muscle deterioration- which might be why you're getting told you're too skinny a lot.
  • the_summer_belle
    the_summer_belle Posts: 353 Member
    One word... Jealousy tell them to stuff a pie in it and find some real friends who will support and encourage you no matter what weight you are.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
    people suck and opinions are like *kitten*-everyone has one.....

    Yes some people suck. Like today on these very forums I saw someone respond to a teenager who was obviously struggling with some food issues to "eat something, twig". Would that be the kind of *kitten* you mean perhaps?
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Let me guess.... these friends are fatties right?
  • lightmouse
    lightmouse Posts: 175 Member
    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty. Unfortunately genetics have not been kind to me that department, so even if I stopped working out and ate everything in sight I'd still be flat chested. Normally I brush the "skinny" comments off, I've been working so hard to get a strong body and I am proud of myself but today I just feel sad and unattractive.

    :frown:
  • fitphoenix
    fitphoenix Posts: 9,673 Member
    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty. Unfortunately genetics have not been kind to me that department, so even if I stopped working out and ate everything in sight I'd still be flat chested. Normally I brush the "skinny" comments off, I've been working so hard to get a strong body and I am proud of myself but today I just feel sad and unattractive.

    :frown:

    You look fit and fabulous in your profile pic! Don't let jerks get you down. I know it's tough not to listen to criticism and negativity, but you know there are always going to be idiots out there. *You* feel strong (you said yourself) and need to concentrate on how you feel and not how anyone else feels about you. (That said, I'm sure you'll get way more positive feedback than negative, because you look awesome!)
  • Phrick
    Phrick Posts: 2,765 Member
    I've had a few of these comments. Funny how the same people weren't as concerned for my health when I was obese.
    I'm SO going to use this line.
  • Alanhalil
    Alanhalil Posts: 62 Member
    All my family and friends make jokes that I am disappearing, that I am too skinny now and look like a refugee or something lol. I just put it down to them being used to seeing me as overweight so aren't used to seeing me as I am currently.
  • erc89432
    erc89432 Posts: 21
    I love how it's so much easier for people to tell a person that they are "too skinny" rather than "too fat." Honestly, skinny shaming does exist and it disgusts me! I have been told to "go eat a burger" plenty of times and it ticks me off. My sister has a naturally high metabolism and was 5'2" and around 100 pounds for years. She ate huge portions but was on cross country so that only helped with keeping her weight down. People would tease her and say that she was "too skinny" or accuse her of having an eating disorder even though she was all muscle and ate more than most people do. After a while it really got to her and she stopped exercising and would eat food that was not as good for her for the sole purpose of gaining weight. It's been a few years and she has finally realized that allowing those people to mess with her healthy lifestyle wasn't the right thing to do. Skinny shaming is pathetic in my opinion and usually a result of the other person's insecurity of their own body or just jealousy. Or they are just plain ignorant.
  • lightmouse
    lightmouse Posts: 175 Member
    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty. Unfortunately genetics have not been kind to me that department, so even if I stopped working out and ate everything in sight I'd still be flat chested. Normally I brush the "skinny" comments off, I've been working so hard to get a strong body and I am proud of myself but today I just feel sad and unattractive.

    :frown:

    You look fit and fabulous in your profile pic! Don't let jerks get you down. I know it's tough not to listen to criticism and negativity, but you know there are always going to be idiots out there. *You* feel strong (you said yourself) and need to concentrate on how you feel and not how anyone else feels about you. (That said, I'm sure you'll get way more positive feedback than negative, because you look awesome!)

    Thank you for this :flowerforyou: I felt I couldn't tell any friends/family how upset it made me because they'd all be like "oh boo hoo you" but it really hurt! x
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty. Unfortunately genetics have not been kind to me that department, so even if I stopped working out and ate everything in sight I'd still be flat chested. Normally I brush the "skinny" comments off, I've been working so hard to get a strong body and I am proud of myself but today I just feel sad and unattractive.

    :frown:

    Screw him. Who is he to say what's ideal for you?

    Next time anyone starts that "you're skinny..." conversation with you, don't go there with them. We all know these conversations usually never go anywhere pleasant.

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  • GracieGag
    GracieGag Posts: 24 Member
    I think you look great! 107 at 5' 2 " sounds fine to me. Just ignore those rude so called "friends".
  • fificrazy
    fificrazy Posts: 234
    I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile).

    Ahhh that had to have been the most liberating moment of your life!
  • 2014myyear
    2014myyear Posts: 60 Member
    I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile).

    Ahhh that had to have been the most liberating moment of your life!

    Funnily enough no.. i felt bad for calling her fat! LOL
  • BackToWeddingWeight
    BackToWeddingWeight Posts: 7
    It could be that those people have gotten used to seeing you at your heavier weight - and now you look very thin compared to that. I have gotten that at my lowest weight (5'5, 135 lb) but I carry most of my weight in my lower half. As long as you are healthy and you feel good you have nothing to worry about. People are always quick to judge - they just kept it to themselves when you were heavier.

    Great job!

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