Friends say I am too skinny now

blc1971

I get this a lot now mostly from family and I am not offended because the ones saying it I know are speaking from love and concern. That being said, I know without a doubt I'm not too thin and it is really their perceptions of me now vs. what I looked like before. I went from 213 lbs to currently 151 lbs, and I'm a little over 5'6". That is within the healthy range and I only plan on losing another 3 lbs or so. I'm pretty happy with my size but I have a lot of work to do to get myself toned and tighten up some loose skin.

As a suggestion, maybe take pictures of yourself to get a good idea of what they are seeing. I know in my case, I have terrible body dysmorphia (not diagnosed!!) and I really cannot see what others see when I look in a mirror or look down at my body. However, pictures don't lie. When I see pictures of myself I can get a better understanding of what I really look like and how far I've come.

Congrats on your success and keep working toward better health!!!!:flowerforyou:

MyRummyHens

The situation is that even if you were/are too thin, it's still no place to comment. I mean what on earth would happen if a stranger told you you looked like a cancer patient and you turned around and said you were battling cancer? I mean how inappropriate is that!

I also get it, I've got a very very small frame and I'm slim, my BMI is 18.5 and I have decent amounts of muscle mass so my body fat % is reasonably low. I either ignore it completely and don't engage with these people, it's their baggage why should I be forced to take on their issues? Or I deal with it directly by asking them what parallel universe are they living in which suddenly makes it appropriate to make personal remarks regarding weight/appearance, usually followed by asking them whether they would like me to pass comment on their appearance.

I agree with some of the other posters in that it's totally inappropriate in the workplace, and if it happens again then you should report it. There is no place where it is acceptable for someone to make such comments.

AHack3

I've had experience with this as well and so many times in the past I would believe them and doubt myself and wonder if I was too skinny and I didn't want that so I would gain weight back, always too much so and then I'd be miserable in my body again. The comments are starting again, but I'm not believing them this time, I'm believing me and trusting myself. I just tell them I feel good, I am at a good healthy weight, I'm in my maintenance area, I am right where I want to be. They don't have much to say after that, usually it's, Oh, ok, you do look good. I think that just have concerns that maybe I am still trying to lose weight, maybe that assures them I'm not....I don't know. As long as you know that you are healthy and that you feel good where you are at, that is all that matters. Although it is bothersome what they say, try to ignore them and think that most of them probably just want to be where you currently are.

NJL13500

If your friends say things like that, then i would hate to hear what people who are not your friends say. If I don't have anything nice to say to someone, then I don't say anything. I would NEVER tell someone they looked like a cancer patient. Crazy!

We all have different perspectives on how we want to look. You need to make yourself happy.

must_deflate

I'm 5'2 and, like you, never went much over 100 lbs until I was 17 or 18. Most of my 20's I hovered between 98 and 105-- I worked out with weights and had some awesome muscles. So it wasn't skin and bones.
After about 35 I used to run between 105 and 115lbs.

Then I got up into the 120's a while back-- finally up into the high 120's with 35% body fat even though I STILL work out and Still have respectable muscles. That amount of body fat is just too high.
I want to get back to around 110 lbs or so.
I think the my 98 lb days are gone, but I look fine at 110, and my body fat % is reasonable at the weight.

Anyway, back to YOU--- If your body fat isn't too low, and you've got a little muscle on you, you're fine, regardless of what the scale says.

Shuuma

Over a year ago, my best friend lost a considerable amount of weight and has been maintaining for the past 14 months. She still gets the "You're too skinny" comments and her response is one I'm going to use (when I get "too skinny").

"You have to get the fat me out of your mind."

Sometimes, people forget to register that we are changing our body compositions and we aren't the same. They get re-surprised to see a different us so they comment on it again. Even when we don't change anymore and just maintain.

You look great!

tinglesby

you look fantastic!!! Dont listen to people like that. theyre just jealous of your success.

RoseGoldDinosaur

Based on your profile pic that's a totally normal and healthy weight for you. If large people are calling you "too skinny" completely ignore them. If normal, healthy people are expressing concern for your well being then you should probably consult a doctor. When friends and family say you are looking "jaunt" or "sickly" it's time to be concerned, but people with excessive body fat don't tend to recognize people with much lower body fat as normal or healthy. It's all about perspective.

TFaustino67

yup you look fantastic! tell 'em to kiss it!

Alassonde

While I agree it's rude to comment on your weight (I often get similar comments), your pic is of you ten pounds ago, right? People on here judging you by that an saying you look healthy and fantastic aren't really looking at an accurate image.

I said about 10 pounds. It could be 5 it could be 7. I don't constantly take new pics of myself and record what weight I was then lol. But thanks all the comments that made me feel better I will disregard.

Alassonde

You look great! 5 or 10 pounds doesn't make that much of a difference in how you look. I really do think people who tell you you're too skinny are doing it to make themselves feel better. Unless you're showing obvious signs of being unhealthy, it's really none of their business. I'm so tired of people who think it's OK to insult people for being skinny but not for being fat. Either way, they're telling you that you are not OK the way you are. You look great and feel great so that should be what matters.

JuzDuIt

You're a BMI of about 20 and my chart says that's normal!

My guess is people are just jealous! Carry a few BMI charts with you and hand the offenders one - ask them to share what THERE'S is! Unless they are in the normal range, tell them to shut it! :flowerforyou:

Mar22ie

I know you have received a ton of responses already. I assume most of the people you are referring to met you when you were heavier. Do you think if you met them at this stage, they would want to be your friend? You are a reminder of what they should be doing, but aren't. We all need to take care of ourselves and eat healthy to help live a long life. Keep up the good work. You look great!

Gwen_B_

Once I got to my goal weight I couldn't stop losing, so I think I'm too skinny!! I really don't need people to bring it to my attention!! That's rude!!!

Cyan99

I get this A LOT as well. It's a sad truth (as many have pointed out) that people consider it rude to call someone fat, but okay to call them skinny. I've been called, skinny, scrawny, stick-like (seriously - wtf?!), tiny etc. etc. People don't seem to realise that "skinny" is a legitimate natural body type, and that's just how some people look when they're at a healthy weight.

Hey. Hater's gonna hate. :glasses:

rww59

Society has taught us to be accustomed to overweight.
The bushmen of Kalahari are in perfect health and are thin and agile.:happy:

lauriellw

As long as your healthy and feel good who cares, ENJOY IT, could they be jealous? You look fantastic and above all you feel good!

gbutterfly

You look great in your post, but 10 lbs can make a big difference on a small frame so none of us can really offer an opinion as to whether your current weight is healthy or not.

If you are truly concerned I would check the BMI charts and also speak with your physician. As to the friends - you have to take under consideration where they are in relation to their goals too.

A few years ago I lost 30 lbs. I wasn't quit to my healthy goal weight (about 7 lbs above) but I looked great because besides dieting I was dong a lot of running and strength training. A couple of my friends commented that I looked too thin and had lost my curves (its just a fact when I loose weight I go from a C cup to a barely B very quickly -its the first thing to go) Most people though gave really postitive feedback. That said after I regained about 10 lbs I had a few friends (including male friends who tend to think curves look better regardless of what is ideal weight) tell me I looked better than the year before.

Al this is to say- if it's one or 2 people - take it with a grain of salt - everyone is affected by their personal body issues and preferences. If it is the majority of your friends then I would definitely talk to your doctor -
after all BMI charts are only a guide that consider weight which doesn't take compostion (muscle vs fat) into consideration - so you man need to talk to someone who can give an honest medical opinion.

Natmarie73

Well I would be taking it as a compliment and just say "Thank you" and smile. I wonder how they would respond if you were to tell them they are too fat?

ComradeTovarich

Success can easily be measured by how many people put you down or hate you.