Grrrrrr the jealous....ventage thread!

xDeannaGarciax

All of us know who those people are, the one's who get mad, irritated or upset when we try to change our lifestyle! This is a ventage thread. How have the negative afected you? Maybe they haven't? Your experiences please!

Beebee78

I hate the people that see it as just another fad....ok so yes in the past I have tried every sodding diet under the sun BUT this time I have changed the way I eat and factored in a lot of exericse...

Also the people who say ahh you're no fun anymore - you always used to be the big bubbly one?!!! What the...ok so I have always been the largest member of any friend group I have been in but I don't have to stay that way to be fun surely? xxx

highrise

Heh, I've said it before on here but the people who say 'Oh you skinny minny'/'You don't need to lose any more weight'/'Don't get anorexic' make me so mad!

They have no idea what it's like for your weight to affect your confidence; and I get annoyed at myself for saying 'Oh, I'm just in training - the weight loss is incidental' I'm proud that I've gotten control over what I shovel down my gob after almost 30 years of being overweight - and I'm proud that I'm adult and sensible enough know when to stop before it gets silly.

Mangoose

I hate the people that see it as just another fad....ok so yes in the past I have tried every sodding diet under the sun BUT this time I have changed the way I eat and factored in a lot of exericse...

Also the people who say ahh you're no fun anymore - you always used to be the big bubbly one?!!! What the...ok so I have always been the largest member of any friend group I have been in but I don't have to stay that way to be fun surely? xxx

Why do people always associate bubbly with fat? Does that mean that the definition of 'bubbly' is 'Overweight, unhealthy and likely depressed'?

That really grinds my gears :grumble:

Beebee78

Same here mangoose - at work the boys ( well I say boys, but my boss is 30) were going on about all the girls we work with ( well the other 2 as there is only 4 of us in total). The oldest lady they said was like a Mum, the younger 2 hot...me....CUDDLY - I kid you not. I actually said to him, in future just say fat - it's far less hurtful than you think...

highrise

The oldest lady they said was like a Mum, the younger 2 hot...me....CUDDLY - I kid you not. I actually said to him, in future just say fat - it's far less hurtful than you think...

Wow, amazing that people just don't think first! Actually I don't even know why people have to comment on physical appearance so much - whatever happened to 'She's great at her job' or 'She's the one with talent for painting' etc.

Mangoose

Haha, I get called cuddly all the time, in fact my partner says that she likes me being cuddly!

She wants me to lose weight but 'Not too much' because she doesn't want to cuddle a bag of bones :laugh:

Mangoose

The oldest lady they said was like a Mum, the younger 2 hot...me....CUDDLY - I kid you not. I actually said to him, in future just say fat - it's far less hurtful than you think...

Wow, amazing that people just don't think first! Actually I don't even know why people have to comment on physical appearance so much - whatever happened to 'She's great at her job' or 'She's the one with talent for painting' etc.

Because we're men, and we rely on the physical, not the emotional

Sparklewolfie

Heh, I've said it before on here but the people who say 'Oh you skinny minny'/'You don't need to lose any more weight'/'Don't get anorexic' make me so mad!

I hate that =__= I am not technically "overweight" but I am not at a healthy size/fitness level either. Just because I am good at hiding the pudge under fashionable clothes, does not mean I should eat cake every day!

SandraMay1982

one of the best ones I have had said to me " you'd be pretty if you were skinny" - the next "you have a pretty face" I just reply with "yeah. shame about the rest of me" haha.

emilysparey

i get the 'you have a pretty face, no body notices the rest of you' and 'your not fat you just have big boobs'
mostly from people who probably never had to worry about their weight ever. why cant i be thin and have a pretty face?

highrise

Because we're men, and we rely on the physical, not the emotional

lol! Well far be it from me to generalise ;-)

JenniferH81

one of the best ones I have had said to me " you'd be pretty if you were skinny" - the next "you have a pretty face" I just reply with "yeah. shame about the rest of me" haha.

I hate the pretty face comment. it really is just an insult to the rest of me.

BigGail

This one really gets me - I have had mahoosive boobs since the age of about 14 - which only got bigger and bigger and bigger the more weight I put on - people seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to comment on them nearly every day of my life! Now me personally, I would never dream of going up to someone in the street and saying - right to their face "Jesus your nose is enormous" or "Blimey, you look like an *kitten* on legs", and yet people seem to think they can walk past me and say things like "bl**dy hell, you don't get many of them to the pound" or, my personal favourite "look at the t*ts on that"
Who the heck do you think you are exactly?
I haven't got to the point yet where people are telling me not to lose any more weight (I wish), but I have had the pretty face comment, and my sister told me the other day "don't go daft with it and end up looking like one of them people you see running!"
Just mind your own flippin business, and don't go projecting your own insecurities on to me I say.
As we say in the UK - "NAFF OFF!"

Mangoose

This one really gets me - I have had mahoosive boobs since the age of about 14 - which only got bigger and bigger and bigger the more weight I put on - people seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to comment on them nearly every day of my life! Now me personally, I would never dream of going up to someone in the street and saying - right to their face "Jesus your nose is enormous" or "Blimey, you look like an *kitten* on legs", and yet people seem to think they can walk past me and say things like "bl**dy hell, you don't get many of them to the pound" or, my personal favourite "look at the t*ts on that"
Who the heck do you think you are exactly?
I haven't got to the point yet where people are telling me not to lose any more weight (I wish), but I have had the pretty face comment, and my sister told me the other day "don't go daft with it and end up looking like one of them people you see running!"
Just mind your own flippin business, and don't go projecting your own insecurities on to me I say.
As we say in the UK - "NAFF OFF!"

I'm pretty sure us people in the UK would say something far more rude and offensive than Naff off

AnahitaCanDoIt

I'm with you on this one! I always get the, "You have such a pretty face" and then a meaningful pause.

Let me preface this by saying I'm married to wonderful man, so the opinion of other men shouldn't matter, however, it does. So does the opinion of my GP, the skinnies at work and mostly any person who I come in contact with. I'm working on that.

Anyway, feeling fairly good about myself since getting back to work after surgery, was out with 'the girls' on Friday night in our local pub. Three lads (in mid 50's but fairly suave and debonaire!) looking at me. I went up the bar, the usual, chat chat. Anyway, later in the night, one of the lads tells me that his mate (who had left by that time) told him to check me out, and the lad I was talking to (recounting the story) said, "I looked at you and said to R, you don't usually go in for big girls, but she does have a beautiful face."

Argghhhh, this I did not need!

Basically, I work with a very looks-conscious group of very attractive women/men. I know when they see my massive yo-yo weight loss/gains, they probably think unkind thoughts (think Kelly Osbourne here) and I try not to let them get to me. Sometimes, the top to bottom review I get every morning can be ignored. Sometimes, I feel like screaming, "Yes, do you not think I know I've gained weight??!!"

Anyway, this was for venting and I've done so. Thanks for the forum to do so.
Also, I have the big boobie thing too, but now, after kids, they're okay in bras but unencumbered, they're so so saggy.

sparklesammy

Now - I don't think my dad is jealous, this is just an odd comment more than anything! but it made me mad!!

He randomly tells me that the fitness classes i'm doing are not appropriate (I do RPM, body combat, zumba sometimes, and aquafit if my back is sore) and will result in me looking like a sprinter as opposed to a marathon runner i.e more bulky?? And then he tells me that I should take up long distance running as my fitness regime from now on....

um....first of all...where the hell this idea came from I have no idea!(he is no fitness guru beleive me!) Secondly, don't worry i ignored him. The excercise I am doing is all cardio and is helping me lose weight all over, and I really enjoy it. (I HATE RUNING. And he knows that!)

I feel better! : )

highrise

Anyway, later in the night, one of the lads tells me that his mate (who had left by that time) told him to check me out, and the lad I was talking to (recounting the story) said, "I looked at you and said to R, you don't usually go in for big girls, but she does have a beautiful face."

o0o0o0o0o0o <-- that's the sound of my mind boggling!

Mangoose

Anyway, later in the night, one of the lads tells me that his mate (who had left by that time) told him to check me out, and the lad I was talking to (recounting the story) said, "I looked at you and said to R, you don't usually go in for big girls, but she does have a beautiful face."

o0o0o0o0o0o <-- that's the sound of my mind boggling!

I don't get it, why would anyone say 'I'm not attracted to you because you're fat, but you have a nice face!'

People :huh:

Lynz888

I've morphed into the non fun friend that doesn't get invited because I gave up drinking alcohol. Everywhere I go, people try to feed me like I'm some lost puppy, garbage disposal character. Everytime I go to see my parents, they say I've lost weight even if I've clearly gained. (what the heck!) And all my work peeps seem to give the same look me up and down response when I'm eating something before they confrontationally state "why are you eating that? you don't need to lose weight!" I had no idea making health conscious decisions could be so offensive to everyone else in my life!

sparklesammy

I've morphed into the non fun friend that doesn't get invited because I gave up drinking alcohol. Everywhere I go, people try to feed me like I'm some lost puppy, garbage disposal character. Everytime I go to see my parents, they say I've lost weight even if I've clearly gained. (what the heck!) And all my work peeps seem to give the same look me up and down response when I'm eating something before they confrontationally state "why are you eating that? you don't need to lose weight!" I had no idea making health conscious decisions could be so offensive to everyone else in my life!

Yeah alcohol = not worth the calories!! Luckily a lot of my friends don't drink anyway, but some people respond very oddly if you say you don't really drink. odd.

skinney1357

I hate the whole skinny minny thing and the "when are you going to stop" and "aren't you done losing weight yet?" Umm I probably will never stop because once I go into maintenance mode I still have to watch what I eat and exercise. I think people think that those lines are complimentary or something. It would be nice to just hear "you look really good" or "you look healthy" but I think people are afraid that will backfire or something.

AnahitaCanDoIt

Anyway, later in the night, one of the lads tells me that his mate (who had left by that time) told him to check me out, and the lad I was talking to (recounting the story) said, "I looked at you and said to R, you don't usually go in for big girls, but she does have a beautiful face."

o0o0o0o0o0o <-- that's the sound of my mind boggling!

I don't get it, why would anyone say 'I'm not attracted to you because you're fat, but you have a nice face!'

People :huh:

I know, right? It makes no sense. Why even bother, esp after I said I was married HAPPILY married. These lads fancy themselves the village studs so it's about them not me !

Plus, at least I can lose weight and get fit. They'll always have bad manners.

sunellie

I think it's pretty funny that people should think their advice is welcome, and needed, without checking with you, especially when they don't have the slightest claim to authority on health or fitness matters. I didn't have a lot of pounds to lose (about 15% of my total weight since I am short), but those 15 pounds = nearly 3 sizes and make the difference between feeling fit and energetic and self-conscious and tired. The tired part comes from eating too many sweets that make me gain weight. When I started trying to lose this spring it was mostly for health reasons, to reduce the weight that I tend to gain all around the middle and stop eating all the saturated fat, high sugar snacks, so it's a bonus to feel soooo much more comfortable in my skin.

Funny, every time I've visited my out-of-town family for the past 10 years, they say I've lost weight, yet I've been steadily gaining a couple of pounds every year. Next time I see them, I actually will have lost 10 pounds! 8 more should bring my fat levels down to a healthy level - then I just have to keep working on strength and flexibility. At that point, I'd happily gain back a few pounds as long as it's muscle.

Scorpiomom222

I have had a couple people irritated that my statuses on here are linked to my facebook because it made them feel lazy. One, I will not take my statuses down because of how you feel, because if you feel that bad about it, maybe you need to do something. Two, I like that people support me on here and on my facebook. The ones that cheer me on, keep me going on my journey, and I have even "recruited" a few people onto here, and they have started to change themselves.

Scorpiomom222

Haha, I get called cuddly all the time, in fact my partner says that she likes me being cuddly!

She wants me to lose weight but 'Not too much' because she doesn't want to cuddle a bag of bones :laugh:

Aaaww! I call my husband comfy. Maybe I just shouldn't say anything about that or related to that. He's 250. I don't like layin on something hard. lol I need some cushion.

Dancerten

I have friends who say I look fine the way I am, and that I shouldn't care about what other people think of me. They never seem to hear/understand when I tell them that I don't give a *kitten* about what other people think of how I look, I want to look good to ME. I'm not doing this for anyone but me, and it kinda sucks when "friends" can't support that.

Scorpiomom222

I have been lucky enough to just get one comment about my gut. And that was "are you pregnant AGAIN?" No, as you can see I have a newborn in the carseat. Grow a pair of SEEING eyes, you jackwagon! @#%*~

SashaSpells

I'm tall, so my excess weight doesn't really show unless I'm wearing tight clothing or naked and so anytime people see me eating salad or anything, or I comment on how well I'm doing with sticking to my diet I always get the "you're already skinny bla bla bla" just because my extra thirty lbs has a lot more skin to hide under does NOT mean I'm at a healthy weight! As a matter of fact, just this summer I topped out at 200 which is OVERWEIGHT for my height, and my BMI was at 32 (horrible for me! it used to be around 19 when I was playing volleyball). It frustrates me to no end. Aaaannnnnd going along with the people commenting on the big boobs, people comment on my height on a nearly daily basis. If I go out in public at all (anywhere; bars, wal-mart, the park) it will be 5 or 6 comments by the time the day is done. "How tall are you?" "Do you play basketball?" And the one I get the most "Wow, she's TALL" as I'm walking by. Like I can't freaking hear you from 6 inches away. Or if I'm at work, "Is the ground higher back there, or are you just tall?" or my absolute FAVORITE "Are you standing on a box?" Like seriously, who would ask that?? (Heard it many, many times) While I know being tall is generally considered a good thing, it makes me feel incredibly insecure when people point out that I stand out in the crowd. =( I just wanna blend in and not be a "towering freak" which is how it makes me feel when SOOOO many people point it out.

Tarreemha77

When I dropped down from 163-133 lbs everyone swore I was secretly taking something and kept asking for my secret(ANNOYING). This is like the 2nd time I lost weight like this though. So I already knew what I had to do and I did it. I worked out like a DOG and got myself down to a decent weight. I've been doing everything from p90x to Yoga and pilates. Pilates and Yoga is what got me down last time along with a well balanced diet and my schedule wasn't as hectic. And that was when I was close to 180lbs. That was a couple of years ago(3). So I guess slowly with my more hectic schedule and my bad eating habits I saw the scale creep back up,(Clothes not fitting,size changing from xs,small to Large) so I went for the gusto and rapidly lost the weight again. But this time seemed harder and I did it with pilates yoga kettle ball and finished off with p90x and am now starting insanity. I've been doing good but if 1more person tells me I look scary,please don't loose another lb or you'll disappear,or you'll look like a skeleton I'm going to scream. If one more person asks me for my secret and I tell them about my heavy workout schedule(which I dropped by 20minutes or so in the morning and I've also dropped by a day or 2),and then get the skeptical look and the "No really you can tell me. I won't tell a soul." conversation I'm going to scream.

I actually was 120lbs and after my 1st son 14yrs ago went down to 95lbs b/c of stress. After 2nd pregnancy my weight was like 125. O.k. and I was still btwn a size 4-6. When I met current hubby and had jumbo baby who took exactly after him in the genes department my petite frame went from 125-200lbs in pregnancy. My 3rd son was 9lbs-5oz just like his dad at birth. But here I was also like his mom with a small frame and this huge amount of weight on it. I kept at 180 for about a year and a 1/2 and then finally decided that my legs going numb when I sit to take a bath wasn't a GOOD thing. My body aching wasn't a good thing. So I decided to lose the weight. I studied nutrition on my own and exercised and got down in 3months to 130lbs and the lowest at that time was like128lbs. So I got a 2nd job and you eat to stay up at night and I like the sweets. So couple that with a setatary lifestyle and you get slowly but surely 163lbs of weight back on this frame along with achy knees that hurt so bad some days you don't want to move. Winded when you do certain things that are NORMAL. When I started seeing these things again I said "OH HELL NO!" And decided to do things about it.

I went from 163lbs to 133(I flux from 133-135 most days) in like 3months-3 1/2 months and got active again to do it along with watching what I eat and taking my vitamins. I actually want to rev my exercise routine back up again and I want to go down to 125lbs(or if I get close enough to it like say 128 I'd except it and be ok with it). That would leave me with 25% body fat which for my age group would fit me into the fitness catogory interms of body fat, (B.M.I and other things like that) . Instead of just exceptable. I already like the way my body looks and the many symptoms I described above have already disappeared. My circulation and knees are way better and don't hurt at all. It's not about vanity lbs either. It's about being the best and FIT me I could possibly be. Thanks to my exercise regime I have muscle in places now that I thought I would never have. I LOVE MY BODY and I think I look GREAT. So now I want to get everything in line and be the best,lean(Not skinny. And yes there is a difference) and fit me I can possibly be. I want the body of an athletic person. And as I transform it I AM LOVING it.

I know this is too long and sorry for BORING you. But for me this go round is about FITNESS. And it bothers me that people comment don't get that and that they comment ,and joke, and hate. But it doesn't bother me enough to stop what I'm doing. HAHA :~P. I have a fitness goal and I'm going to fufill it. It is realistic and it's not about looking like a skeleton(which I don't). I like fitness expert Jackie Warner. Her body is amazing,Jamie Easton is a fitness Professional with amazing FIT body. Jessica Paxton-putnam,Michelle Levesque. I DON'T want to LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M SAYING. But these are VERY FIT women and I would like to obtain a certain level of fitness and to me that what my weight loss is all about. I can lift 10 lb weights. I have to lift heavy laundry bag(s) at work(filled with patient's blankets,sheets and gowns. I'm in nursing) and before it was such a hassle and it would leave me winded and I wouldn't even bother to try I would just leave them in the dirty utility room on the floor. NOW: I'm lifting those bags like their my bottle of water. Now if I have to lift 1 or more of those bags I cannot only lift them all, but I can place them into the bin that has a certain capacity. Take that ARRRONALD. :~P

MTDork87

Haha, I get called cuddly all the time, in fact my partner says that she likes me being cuddly!

She wants me to lose weight but 'Not too much' because she doesn't want to cuddle a bag of bones :laugh:

Aaaww! I call my husband comfy. Maybe I just shouldn't say anything about that or related to that. He's 250. I don't like layin on something hard. lol I need some cushion.

Hmm. Uh oh. I've totally done that to my boy too. Any advice from the guys (or girls) on something BETTER to say? Ugh I feel like a hypocrite now... I don't think he's fat. I don't think he needs to lose any weight at all...