Grrrrrr the jealous....ventage thread!

skinney1357

I hate the whole skinny minny thing and the "when are you going to stop" and "aren't you done losing weight yet?" Umm I probably will never stop because once I go into maintenance mode I still have to watch what I eat and exercise. I think people think that those lines are complimentary or something. It would be nice to just hear "you look really good" or "you look healthy" but I think people are afraid that will backfire or something.

AnahitaCanDoIt

Anyway, later in the night, one of the lads tells me that his mate (who had left by that time) told him to check me out, and the lad I was talking to (recounting the story) said, "I looked at you and said to R, you don't usually go in for big girls, but she does have a beautiful face."

o0o0o0o0o0o <-- that's the sound of my mind boggling!

I don't get it, why would anyone say 'I'm not attracted to you because you're fat, but you have a nice face!'

People :huh:

I know, right? It makes no sense. Why even bother, esp after I said I was married HAPPILY married. These lads fancy themselves the village studs so it's about them not me !

Plus, at least I can lose weight and get fit. They'll always have bad manners.

sunellie

I think it's pretty funny that people should think their advice is welcome, and needed, without checking with you, especially when they don't have the slightest claim to authority on health or fitness matters. I didn't have a lot of pounds to lose (about 15% of my total weight since I am short), but those 15 pounds = nearly 3 sizes and make the difference between feeling fit and energetic and self-conscious and tired. The tired part comes from eating too many sweets that make me gain weight. When I started trying to lose this spring it was mostly for health reasons, to reduce the weight that I tend to gain all around the middle and stop eating all the saturated fat, high sugar snacks, so it's a bonus to feel soooo much more comfortable in my skin.

Funny, every time I've visited my out-of-town family for the past 10 years, they say I've lost weight, yet I've been steadily gaining a couple of pounds every year. Next time I see them, I actually will have lost 10 pounds! 8 more should bring my fat levels down to a healthy level - then I just have to keep working on strength and flexibility. At that point, I'd happily gain back a few pounds as long as it's muscle.

Scorpiomom222

I have had a couple people irritated that my statuses on here are linked to my facebook because it made them feel lazy. One, I will not take my statuses down because of how you feel, because if you feel that bad about it, maybe you need to do something. Two, I like that people support me on here and on my facebook. The ones that cheer me on, keep me going on my journey, and I have even "recruited" a few people onto here, and they have started to change themselves.

Scorpiomom222

Haha, I get called cuddly all the time, in fact my partner says that she likes me being cuddly!

She wants me to lose weight but 'Not too much' because she doesn't want to cuddle a bag of bones :laugh:

Aaaww! I call my husband comfy. Maybe I just shouldn't say anything about that or related to that. He's 250. I don't like layin on something hard. lol I need some cushion.

Dancerten

I have friends who say I look fine the way I am, and that I shouldn't care about what other people think of me. They never seem to hear/understand when I tell them that I don't give a *kitten* about what other people think of how I look, I want to look good to ME. I'm not doing this for anyone but me, and it kinda sucks when "friends" can't support that.

Scorpiomom222

I have been lucky enough to just get one comment about my gut. And that was "are you pregnant AGAIN?" No, as you can see I have a newborn in the carseat. Grow a pair of SEEING eyes, you jackwagon! @#%*~

SashaSpells

I'm tall, so my excess weight doesn't really show unless I'm wearing tight clothing or naked and so anytime people see me eating salad or anything, or I comment on how well I'm doing with sticking to my diet I always get the "you're already skinny bla bla bla" just because my extra thirty lbs has a lot more skin to hide under does NOT mean I'm at a healthy weight! As a matter of fact, just this summer I topped out at 200 which is OVERWEIGHT for my height, and my BMI was at 32 (horrible for me! it used to be around 19 when I was playing volleyball). It frustrates me to no end. Aaaannnnnd going along with the people commenting on the big boobs, people comment on my height on a nearly daily basis. If I go out in public at all (anywhere; bars, wal-mart, the park) it will be 5 or 6 comments by the time the day is done. "How tall are you?" "Do you play basketball?" And the one I get the most "Wow, she's TALL" as I'm walking by. Like I can't freaking hear you from 6 inches away. Or if I'm at work, "Is the ground higher back there, or are you just tall?" or my absolute FAVORITE "Are you standing on a box?" Like seriously, who would ask that?? (Heard it many, many times) While I know being tall is generally considered a good thing, it makes me feel incredibly insecure when people point out that I stand out in the crowd. =( I just wanna blend in and not be a "towering freak" which is how it makes me feel when SOOOO many people point it out.

Tarreemha77

When I dropped down from 163-133 lbs everyone swore I was secretly taking something and kept asking for my secret(ANNOYING). This is like the 2nd time I lost weight like this though. So I already knew what I had to do and I did it. I worked out like a DOG and got myself down to a decent weight. I've been doing everything from p90x to Yoga and pilates. Pilates and Yoga is what got me down last time along with a well balanced diet and my schedule wasn't as hectic. And that was when I was close to 180lbs. That was a couple of years ago(3). So I guess slowly with my more hectic schedule and my bad eating habits I saw the scale creep back up,(Clothes not fitting,size changing from xs,small to Large) so I went for the gusto and rapidly lost the weight again. But this time seemed harder and I did it with pilates yoga kettle ball and finished off with p90x and am now starting insanity. I've been doing good but if 1more person tells me I look scary,please don't loose another lb or you'll disappear,or you'll look like a skeleton I'm going to scream. If one more person asks me for my secret and I tell them about my heavy workout schedule(which I dropped by 20minutes or so in the morning and I've also dropped by a day or 2),and then get the skeptical look and the "No really you can tell me. I won't tell a soul." conversation I'm going to scream.

I actually was 120lbs and after my 1st son 14yrs ago went down to 95lbs b/c of stress. After 2nd pregnancy my weight was like 125. O.k. and I was still btwn a size 4-6. When I met current hubby and had jumbo baby who took exactly after him in the genes department my petite frame went from 125-200lbs in pregnancy. My 3rd son was 9lbs-5oz just like his dad at birth. But here I was also like his mom with a small frame and this huge amount of weight on it. I kept at 180 for about a year and a 1/2 and then finally decided that my legs going numb when I sit to take a bath wasn't a GOOD thing. My body aching wasn't a good thing. So I decided to lose the weight. I studied nutrition on my own and exercised and got down in 3months to 130lbs and the lowest at that time was like128lbs. So I got a 2nd job and you eat to stay up at night and I like the sweets. So couple that with a setatary lifestyle and you get slowly but surely 163lbs of weight back on this frame along with achy knees that hurt so bad some days you don't want to move. Winded when you do certain things that are NORMAL. When I started seeing these things again I said "OH HELL NO!" And decided to do things about it.

I went from 163lbs to 133(I flux from 133-135 most days) in like 3months-3 1/2 months and got active again to do it along with watching what I eat and taking my vitamins. I actually want to rev my exercise routine back up again and I want to go down to 125lbs(or if I get close enough to it like say 128 I'd except it and be ok with it). That would leave me with 25% body fat which for my age group would fit me into the fitness catogory interms of body fat, (B.M.I and other things like that) . Instead of just exceptable. I already like the way my body looks and the many symptoms I described above have already disappeared. My circulation and knees are way better and don't hurt at all. It's not about vanity lbs either. It's about being the best and FIT me I could possibly be. Thanks to my exercise regime I have muscle in places now that I thought I would never have. I LOVE MY BODY and I think I look GREAT. So now I want to get everything in line and be the best,lean(Not skinny. And yes there is a difference) and fit me I can possibly be. I want the body of an athletic person. And as I transform it I AM LOVING it.

I know this is too long and sorry for BORING you. But for me this go round is about FITNESS. And it bothers me that people comment don't get that and that they comment ,and joke, and hate. But it doesn't bother me enough to stop what I'm doing. HAHA :~P. I have a fitness goal and I'm going to fufill it. It is realistic and it's not about looking like a skeleton(which I don't). I like fitness expert Jackie Warner. Her body is amazing,Jamie Easton is a fitness Professional with amazing FIT body. Jessica Paxton-putnam,Michelle Levesque. I DON'T want to LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M SAYING. But these are VERY FIT women and I would like to obtain a certain level of fitness and to me that what my weight loss is all about. I can lift 10 lb weights. I have to lift heavy laundry bag(s) at work(filled with patient's blankets,sheets and gowns. I'm in nursing) and before it was such a hassle and it would leave me winded and I wouldn't even bother to try I would just leave them in the dirty utility room on the floor. NOW: I'm lifting those bags like their my bottle of water. Now if I have to lift 1 or more of those bags I cannot only lift them all, but I can place them into the bin that has a certain capacity. Take that ARRRONALD. :~P

MTDork87

Haha, I get called cuddly all the time, in fact my partner says that she likes me being cuddly!

She wants me to lose weight but 'Not too much' because she doesn't want to cuddle a bag of bones :laugh:

Aaaww! I call my husband comfy. Maybe I just shouldn't say anything about that or related to that. He's 250. I don't like layin on something hard. lol I need some cushion.

Hmm. Uh oh. I've totally done that to my boy too. Any advice from the guys (or girls) on something BETTER to say? Ugh I feel like a hypocrite now... I don't think he's fat. I don't think he needs to lose any weight at all...

MTDork87

Oh yeah. And here's my story too...

So I called to schedule a quick check up with my doctor and it turns out she's not going to be there when I'm free but she recommends this other woman I've never seen. My doctor knows about my weight stuff - especially concerning my high cholesterol - and she has kind of been my biggest cheerleader. So this new woman comes in and I had lost 20 pounds in the four months since I had last been in (I go to the doc often, I've got lots of health stuff) and I was so excited to see if it reflected in my cholesterol. This woman looks at my charts and says with no emotion "your cholesterol is fine but you should really lose some weight." Ok, first off, I'm only 5 pounds overweight medically for my height AND I'm a curvy girl so five pounds heavier than "normal" might just be "normal" for me. Second, if she had LOOKED at my charts and extensive notes my normal doctor keeps on me, she'd see the weight struggles and how good I am finally doing and know not to say something so insensitive to someone who has been where I have. And she calls herself a DOCTOR!

Grr. Never again to any other doctor than my lovely one.

groovybeenz

I think one of my friends is kinda crazy. First of all I'm about 5'4" and 250+lbs. She told me I don't need to lose weight and I'm just big boned.......... First thing I said was "you need glasses". The girl is half my size and thinks she needs to lose weight but not me????? I mean I don't really need people up in my face telling me I'm fat and I need to lose weight but my friends don't have to be in denial about. It really makes me wonder if she's serious or if she just is trying to be nice. BTW, this is the same one that gets upset that I won't go out to eat all the time.

Tarreemha77

I also sometimes have to lift patients themselves depending on the severity of the situation as I work on the ICU unit and patients may come to me not alert. Thanks to my current fitness goals this has become easier also. I may lift a person who is anywhere from 95lbs to 350 or more depending who comes in.

nopeekiepeekie

I have had a couple people irritated that my statuses on here are linked to my facebook because it made them feel lazy. One, I will not take my statuses down because of how you feel, because if you feel that bad about it, maybe you need to do something. Two, I like that people support me on here and on my facebook. The ones that cheer me on, keep me going on my journey, and I have even "recruited" a few people onto here, and they have started to change themselves.

I have this issue a lot too. I'm not stopping my FB feeds either. If you don't like what I'm doing, hide me from your feed. Otherwise, just tell me I'm doing a good job.

Scorpiomom222

[/quote]
I have this issue a lot too. I'm not stopping my FB feeds either. If you don't like what I'm doing, hide me from your feed. Otherwise, just tell me I'm doing a good job.
[/quote]

EXACTLY! Just be happy that I'm doing something for me. You don't have to feel compelled to do anything except tell me I'm doing good.

sharonsds

I recently lost 50 lbs, and still have another 70 to go. On a recent vacation, family I hadn't seen in a year proceeded to ask me how much I lost and how much more I planned to lose. Essentially - how much did I weigh, where am I now, and where am I going. I found this a bit rude. Certain things you just don't ask a lady - her age & weight, particularly.
I would never ask another woman how much she weighs - regardless of her fitness level.

spob

Thank you for each of your stories. What a great topic Deanna. As I read through each of your recounts sometimes I cried, laughed and in all cases empathized. Three things struck me. 1) The only thing that is more constant than change is a human beings acceptance of it! 2) That probably most people do not really understand the impact of what they say. (a lesson to all of us)
3) That maybe a part of the self actualization aspect of arriving at our goal weights and empowered bodies is this process of trying to explain ourselves away to those that are jealous etc. that leads to the quiet ability to be both comfortable in our skin and in no way inclined to feel the necessity to explain ourselves or our lifestyles to any one.

I hope for each of you and myself to reach that point. In the mean time remember some will never get it, some are jealous and some people can not stand dead air and will fill silent moments with verbal stuff. In all cases you have all done such great things and wow how you have inspired me and others. Even those that say uncomfortable things:drinker: probably in other circles are bragging about their friends' amazing success. People are funny like that! :drinker:

jsecret

When I was lighter and younger I had been working out and eating healthier trying to lose those last few pounds and thought I was looking great. The guy I was dating at the time took notice and his comment was "Wow, you're almost skinny!"

Uhm... wait... ALMOST SKINNY? What the hell kinda comment is that?! I will never ever forget that one.

As for the fact you never ask a girl her weight I always find it hilarious that I refuse to tell ANYONE my weight. My husband has to beg to find out since he's very encouraging of my diet/weight loss but by no means would be disappointed if I said screw it and gave up. But although I won't tell anybody at all about my current weight or how much I've lost, I am more than happy to let every single person on this site know! lol.

mlagena

When I was lighter and younger I had been working out and eating healthier trying to lose those last few pounds and thought I was looking great. The guy I was dating at the time took notice and his comment was "Wow, you're almost skinny!"

Uhm... wait... ALMOST SKINNY? What the hell kinda comment is that?! I will never ever forget that one.

Wow, omg! I had practically the same thing happen to me when I was younger! Except at that time I was about 195 not my current 251! Anyway, one guy I was seeing told me I looked better *in* my clothes. Um, THANKS?!?!

loopybec2002

I posted this on another post a couple of weeks ago. A young lad I wok with (after I started losing weight) Said to me. I've never been with a fat girl but I'd make an acception for you would you like to be the first...... I was like Hell NO!!! This lad actually thought he was giving me a compliment.